weightedservos

[weightedservos]

   “Thank you, Arcee,” he mutters when he sees her later. “Just... plain is good. Next time, if that happens. I don’t need luxuries.” It’s more turmoil than it’s worth. Fuel will be best as just fuel.

[weightedservos]

    {{ hm. wondering now if i actually want to reboot this blog or if i should just go through and delete everything i don’t like, because there are some things that i do want to keep as well. i just... fhsdjkfhsjkdh i like some aspects of my portrayal but there’s so much i just wanna toss in the trash }}

[weightedservos]

                                                                                      { y e a h i’m a ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋ

He doesn't want to move on. Not really.

Doesn't want to forget. Doesn't want this to become normal. Slag it. It's all wrong!

The world tunnels off to somewhere distant, everything but servos moving in a practiced daze blurring beyond his awareness. If he doesn't acknowledge any of it, it will go away. He can work just like this, just like Optimus is just in the other room, just a bridge away, wherever he is. He'll just. Work. Until then. There's always something that needs to be done, even now.

When his processor is tired enough—like it is now, befuddled lag confusing his thoughts, overly error-riddled sectors getting the attention of being partitioned off for temporary shutdown, just to keep him functional—is the best he feels, really. However long it's been since he's recharged—five cycles, ten? He's stopped keeping track, and doesn't have plans to break the streak. It lets him forget everything. Not Optimus—never Optimus—but… reality, or some slag. 

Something in his servos snaps, and he curses. Careless, careless. The annoyance is short lived, though, and his frame shudders as he sighs. Okay, welder now. Make up for that mistake. Like all the others. It's fine. He can fix it.

Like he can't fix— 

Optics shutter. The thought is truncated—messily, doesn't matter—and shoved aside before he partitions off and reboots a few more sectors. He'll just…

His servos slow and stall as he finishes the repair, welded section set down on the worktable. That done, he lets his helm hang forward for a few moments. A nap might feel nice… it's tempting. Or maybe some energon. His tanks are low, warnings pinging at the edge of his awareness. But it will still be some time before he enters a metabolic shutdown, and the stores are at the other end of the building. He'll be fine for now. Just a little nap.

Of course, it is Optimus who comes to hold him in his dream. 

The smallest touch feels so wonderful. His spark shudders with relief, exhaustion, love… 

"Optimus…" he murmurs. Yes, this… all is right.

Like all good things, though, it ends. Optimus slips away, that same slagging beautiful smile, that awful sadness and regret in his optics. Ratchet whimpers in his sleep—a tiny, pathetic sound, scarcely audible more than a step or two away.

But then, at least, everything is blissfully dreamless. He only wishes he could spend all of his life that way. This is all too short. Time spirals and soon he has to be conscious of the real world again.

He makes a half-sparked grumble, optics blinking open. There's—several parts of his processor fixate immediately. There's… a cube on his desk. He stares at it, not beginning to comprehend how it could possibly have gotten there. It's just sitting there, in a clear space among his tools, heat signature identifying it as slightly warm. He could… drink it. As nice of a distraction as hunger provides, some energon would taste so good.

His servos have already reached it on autopilot and brought it to his intake by the time he finishes the thought. He should at least have a little… yes. He gives up on fighting it and tips it back.

It is warm. A little sweet, with just a hint of a richer note that his chemoreceptors belatedly identify as cadmium. 

His hydraulics tighten, stuttering vents making his plating tremble. This kind of thoughtful thing… he knows who, normally, would have done it.

It wasn't. One of the other bots must be visiting, and have taken pity on him. That's kind enough. But he doesn't need it. He's fine. 

His servos lower, shaking as they return the cube to the worktable despite the protests of his tanks. He can't… It's just a cube. This is pathetic. He raises it again and drinks, wrestling to control his field as the tension in his frame melts from the warmth. It tastes so good.

Only when the cube is empty does he set it down again and stare blankly at his work. Fuel to get things done… better start again.

[weightedservos]

           and when all the fires 𝕓 𝕦 𝕣 𝕟                         when everything is o v e r t u r n i n g                                                                  there’s no thing that I won’t go through                                                                                         even if I have to die for you 

[weightedservos]

                                                                                              tell me would you K I L L                                                                                                                 to  s a v e  a life ?

[weightedservos]

                                                                                                 you’re no longer here                                                                                          the days turn to years                                                                                I could never say goodbye                                                                      to the sadness in my e y e s

[weightedservos]

     'cause t r y i n g not to ʟᴏᴠᴇ you                                          only goes so f a r                                                                                          and trying not to ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ                                                                                                              is  t e a r i n g  me apart 

[weightedservos]

                                                                                               even if the sky does fall                                                                                                     even if they take it all                                                                                                          i can’t see but i’ll follow you                                                                                                                 even if i die …

[weightedservos]

  and if the sun grows 𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕕 for y o u along the way                          and if the s t a r s don’t ℓιɴє to light the way                                      and when you fall away and crash back down below                                                               I’ll search the sᴋɪᴇs for you and I’ll f o l l o w

                                                                                                      I’ll be in your afterglow                                                                                                                    and I’ll bring you home 

[weightedservos]

                                                               there’s no ᴘ ᴀ ɪ ɴ that I won’t go through                                                                                            even if I have to  d i e   f o r   y o u

[weightedservos]

                                                                                                  you & i lie wreathed in 𝒻𝓁𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓈

[weightedservos]

Supernatural, 05.11

[weightedservos]

                I   D O N ’ T   K N O W   W H A T   T O   S A Y                            but I’m going to ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ till the 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮

[weightedservos]

        not quite a victory          to run from your problems 

                                                                but it’s the only                                                                  plan that i’ve got. 

[weightedservos]

                   i taste you & realize i’ve been starving. 

[weightedservos]

Incase You DID saw the latest 3 episodes already. God my feels during that scene went nuts ;___; Why optimus, whyyyyyy ;____;

I’m not sure what to think about this turn of events OTL. I can’t believe this series will end so soon.

(Im sorry about Bee, I am lazy xD;;; )

And seriously Ratchet, who would leave a perfectly fine ambulance in such place ;____;

[weightedservos]

                                — and that’s why i stand beside you always.