whatisevengoingonhelpme

[whatisevengoingonhelpme]

MY FRIEND JUST MADE A REALLY COOL GAME DEMO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT ON ITCH

Do you like puzzle platformer games? In this physics based game you play as the caveman Ug on a quest to stop his estranged friend Og from fast forwarding human development to the end of the world!

Travel various worlds themed on different eras in human history; and solve puzzles by… picking up and throwing objects? Each world will have its own special obstacle you learn to solve, before ending with an epic boss fight!

[whatisevengoingonhelpme]

i also have some ideas for how to make sniper not be a piece of shit annoying idiot class but i should write those down formally somewhere in a google doc first

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Jerking off is incest

Sometimes I feel like you guys say things because you're bored

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get them bigass antennae out of the caption!!!

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R u even a Tumblr sexyman if people aren't shipping you with reigen arataka?

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I've been reading way too much into everything about the Knight and one thing that immediately caught my attention was the way it poses. I think everybody agrees that its weapon is either Dess' bat or Carol's katana but both of those are supposed to be used with both hands so the poses don't match the way either of them are used. People are joking about auramaxxing but genuinely, it seems almost like it's a dance. And then it hit me. We know that Dess plays like. every sport. She's particularly associated with baseball and hockey (thanks Kris for beating me up with a hockey stick) and we know for a fact she has at least two pairs of ice skates - one in her closet and one under her bed.

So what if the skates aren't just for hockey. What if she also does figure skating? Look at the Knight's poses next to figure skaters.

And obviously ice skating is a winter sport so it really matches the Holiday theme.

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They're teenagers, not evil.

They're teenagers, not evil.

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The Roaring Knight encounter at the end of Chapter 3 is a masterclass at showing you that the REAL protagonist of Deltarune isn't Kris - it's Susie.

This doesn't really make much sense at first glance - you can't even really FIGHT the thing on equal footing without the Shadow Mantle, and to even get that Kris has to go through a harrowing gauntlet and fight a whole OTHER secret boss that doesn't even use the battle mechanics we've grown accustomed to. Kris Suffers to get that item, the one thing that can let them stand up to the Knight's merciless assaults. Hell, the game won't even let you retry if you lose until you have the Mantle in your possession. You would therefore assume that the Mantle belongs to Kris, and that they are the ones who should wear it.

And yet. Even when you don't have this item, who stands up to defy it? Susie. Who stops it from doing... whatever it was trying to do to Toriel, TWICE? Susie. And who gives chase across the boundary between light and dark, across the entirety of hometown, to stop it from abducting Undyne? Why, it's Susie. Her actions are those of a hero standing up to a terrible villain of unknowable power, and she does it without a shred of hesitation, even faced with the very real prospect of being killed.

And if that were it, it'd be kind of boring. But that's not it at all, because the reinforcement of this idea continues into the fight itself. Because if you can keep Susie alive for five turns, she starts monologuing against the boss, telling it how much it sucks and that she'll always have her friends behind her.

The Knight is presented to us as unknowable, invincible, unstoppable. Regular attacks bounce off of its absurdly high HP, it cannot be Checked like a normal enemy, attempts to reason with it fall on deaf ears. And yet, what's the one spell that can meaningfully hurt the Knight, to the point of temporarily disrupting its form? Susie's Rude Buster.

And then, when you throw yourself at the Knight again and again, trying to figure out its weakness, trying to outlast its brutal onslaught, it hits you - the Shadow Mantle does NOTHING for Kris in this fight, but it does EVERYTHING for Susie. Susie's the one doing all the damage. Susie's high HP perfectly compliments the shadow mantle's protection against the Knight's more absurd attacks. Ralsei has no way to meaningfully contribute to the fight at all, and while Kris can use Hold Breath to give the SOUL a boost, their utility begins and ends there. The most that either of them can really do is to act as TP and healing bots for Susie, and to equip weak armours that have beneficial effects, such as the TwinRibbon, Silver Watch, Blue Ribbon, TensionBow and Lodestone - the effects of these items persist regardless of whether the character wearing them is DOWNed or not, and, you guessed it, are equipped not to help them survive, but to allow them to support Susie even when incapacitated.

Then you start seeing it in other areas. Who is it that facilitates change in the other characters - Ralsei, Noelle, Berdly? Susie does, each and every time. She effortlessly upends their own myopic views of the world, defying them to change and be better, without even really realising that's what she's doing - is it any wonder that EVERYONE in the main cast seems to have a thing for her? She's magnetic in the way that heroes are, not despite her brashness and short temper but BECAUSE of them - because she cuts so effortlessly through the FICTIONS that other characters cling to, the stories they tell themselves about who they are, what they can do, and how they ought to be. Susie shatters those preconceptions and offers an alternative - live how you want to live, make the choices that you want to make, and let no-one else ever tell you who you are.

Susie is the hero of Deltarune, and the Roaring Knight's fight encapsulates why perfectly, without ever once drawing attention to the fact. It's sheer genius on Toby's part and I salute the skill with which it conveys those ideas in such an organic way.

[whatisevengoingonhelpme]

Holy WOW.

Like, you think you know how badly Kris's life sucks. Divorced parents, brother off to college, no friends, some strange higher power hijacking their body and going off on adventures without them... but hey, at least they're able to take some control back from us sometimes! At least they can go off and eat all the pie in peace! At least they can open a dark fountain in their home so they can spend more time with their cool friend Susie! Yay! I'm sure they're just leaving the door open for the cops to get in so they can save the day!

And then. AND THEN. Chapter 4... happens. And everything we thought we knew about Kris crumbles to dust before our very eyes.

Those snatched moments from the player? They weren't the triumphant grasp at freedom we thought, but another, yet more insidious layer of control that has been exerted upon them. Because for the end of Chapter 3 to have happened, a few things had to be prepared - the TV had to be plugged in, Susie had to come over, the tires had to be slashed so the police would be called, and the door had to be left open so that the Knight could gain entry - not the police, but The Roaring Knight. The Enemy.

And make no mistake - they didn't want to do ANY of it. Drinking in the Holidays' kitchen... the way their head turns whenever Susie or Noelle mentions them... Carol's ice-cold hand on their shoulder ("in the shadow of the Knight's hand")... do any of these things indicate Kris as a willing co-conspirator? Or rather, a child who has fallen into the clutches of a very manipulative - and very real - authority figure, who is being groomed and coerced into performing dangerous acts that threaten the lives of not just their friends, but their family, their town, and quite possibly the whole world?

We knew that Kris Dreemurr's life sucked before this. But we could never have anticipated just how badly it sucked, just how little control and agency they truly have, in any aspect of their life. This situation has been going on for MUCH longer than we've been around - you can tell that much from the birdcage. Their situation is so utterly, catastrophically FUCKED that death seems the most preferable outcome for them.

Remember Susie noting how Kris responds to Queen's offer to "Perish" with enthusiasm?

Remember the way they crumple onto the floor when Spamton NEO is about to kill them and take their SOUL, not even attempting to fight back?

Remember them whispering in Susie's ear in "the_newest_girl_girl"?

...yeah. It's THAT bad.

And you have to wonder... if we were never shunted into Kris's body... if we didn't literally FORCE Kris to move, to go to the dark world, to Fight and Spare enemies - to FORCE them to play at being a hero, in spite of their situation... What would have happened?

Would Kris even be alive now, if not for us?

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Ralsei has known what's been going on with Kris the ENTIRE time, and once you realise that, EVERYTHING he says and does around them makes a thousand times more sense. And you realise that, far from dismissing Kris's "true" self in favour of a copy, he has been working tirelessly to prop them up, to validate their most basic and fundamental choices, to keep them from the brink of despair, and perhaps even death.

We always thought it was strange, how Ralsei seems to baby Kris at times - how he offers heaps of praise upon them for performing the simplest of tasks, how he lets them express themself through violence while chastising Susie for the same thing, how at every turn he puts so much emphasis on Kris's choices, their talents, their intrinsic personhood, almost above the very prophecy he serves. We thought him mollycoddling and completely out-of-touch at best, and downright malicious at worst. We presumed he was encouraging the player to keep playing, and was in fact speaking over Kris's head directly at us. We presumed that the prophecy was all he cared about, and him encouraging Kris was simply a means to that end.

And we were wrong about all of it. Because we didn't know what Kris was truly going through until now. We thought that our possession was the worst thing that was happening to them, and that he was complicit in their suffering by trying to downplay it.

But Ralsei knew. Because Ralsei knows Kris better than anyone else - better than Susie, better than Noelle, and certainly far better than us.

Kris is hopelessly trapped, at all times. There is no hope for them, they cannot see a way to escape their bonds... not alive, in any case. Their suffering is so great, the pressures upon them so immense, that they have been hollowed out into a catatonic shell of their former self - unable to move except through great effort, unable to speak except through stilted phrases. They don't sleep or eat well at all. They don't try at school. They cannot tell anyone about what's happening, and they cannot make friends because of it. For all intents and purposes, they have given up.

But it's worse than that, because they KNOW that what they're being made to do is wrong. They don't want to do any of it, and yet they feel they cannot refuse. That knowledge eats away at them, to the point where they feel like they are inherently Bad, because only Bad people do Bad things, and they're doing Bad things all the time. They don't feel like they deserve the good things in their life because of it. They feel like they're living a lie. And no-one else knows - no-one else can possibly know.

But Ralsei knows.

Why does Ralsei go to the trouble of arranging a tutorial battle for Kris, when they've already demonstrated their capabilities fighting against Lancer? Because Kris doesn't know what they're doing during that fight. They're issuing commands, fighting alongside Susie, and they don't know how or why. They're scared, they don't know where they are, and the one other person they knew from school just ditched them. Through the tutorial, Ralsei breaks down each combat function step-by-step, walking Kris through each one with patience and restraint. And he lets them go off-piste up to a point - he'll let them attack his mannequin and say it's alright if they want to hit him too, he'll let them hug him several times throughout the tutorial, and he will show remarkable restraint throughout the entire endeavour, despite his obvious frustration at their uncooperativeness.

Seen this way, the Tutorial becomes less about the GAME teaching the PLAYER how to battle, and more about RALSEI providing to KRIS some semblance of structure and context to a new and frightening world. Both of them are literally starting at Zero, and have to establish the basics before anything further can happen.

This in turn establishes the framework for their relationship - not an annoying tutorial fairy lecturing an experienced player on things they already know, but a kindly tutor gently guiding a broken teen, one tiny step at a time. Not lashing out at mistakes, not admonishing when they try to assert themself against the established framework - he will let them fight, and let them command him to fight as well, because his desire to help Kris find themself again means he has to provide leeway for if they "misbehave". There have to be bounds, but they must feel like the choices they make matter - even if they actually don't.

When you're drowning in a world that has seemingly conspired to take your agency from you, and break you down into nothing more than a pawn that does what it's told and nothing else... even the illusion of choice is a life-preserver that you'll cling onto for dear life. The support Ralsei provides Kris in this capacity is what gives them the drive to protect Susie from King's attack - to make a choice to protect their friend, even if it wouldn't have meaningfully changed anything.

It explains his secret conversations with Kris too - while we are busy watching Susie, Ralsei is free to let Kris know that despite being literally controlled, the one controlling them is on their side, and that we will help them break free from the more insidious influence of the Knight. He has to tell them to trust in us, trust that we will do right by them to the best of our abilities. And indeed, by Chapter 2, they have become more willing to express themself through their tone of voice, through how they choose to interpret the instructions given to us, either to play pranks or to show their appreciation for the people who, despite everything, still care for them.

And even Ralsei's apparent dismissive attitude to Spamton NEO's effect on Kris can be explained through this prism. Kris is very very slowly starting to recover from the trauma of their situation, and literally EVERYTHING about Spamton is a huge trigger for them. It's not farfetched to say that Kris sees in Spamton a cautionary tale of how they will end up - used up, cast aside, wretched and desperate and bitter and broken. All of Ralsei's work building Kris back up could be undone in an instant, and so he has to tread extremely carefully - downplay its significance, offer nonthreatening proximity (he will hug Kris, but only if they hugged him on the boat ride prior to this), distract them from the immediate trauma with very basic "nice" thinks like cake, and warm/soft things. It seems dismissive at the time because we don't yet know what Spamton truly represents to Kris - not just the fear of being controlled against your will, but of being used up and broken down, and then tossed away like an unloved toy. It's only when we have that additional context that all of Ralsei's actions towards them start to make sense - not only make sense, but also show a level of care and tact that we did not previously assume him capable of.

And I suppose the last question is: why does Ralsei do any of this in the first place? Why go to this trouble when he knows he'll just be left behind, when he knows that if he succeeds, Kris will go back to the light world and live a full life without him? Well... look at the colour of his horns. If Ralsei is the horned headband, and Kris wore him for months, he would have borne witness to Kris's deepest, darkest fears about themself. It's possible that he might have seen the inciting incident that led Kris down this unfortunate path. Either way, he would have been so close to them that he'd almost be like an extension of them.

So, again - why does he do this? Because his purpose was always to guide them back to themself - first as a pair of horns to better fit in with their family, and then as a physical manifestation of those same horns to help them overcome the terrible harm that has been wrought upon them.

But more than this, I think it's because he loves them - the same way that they would have loved him when they wore him all those years ago. And isn't that what you do for the people you love - help them when they're struggling, comfort them when they're sad, gently challenge them to expand their window of tolerance, give them the tools they need to return to the light, to heal and grow back into themselves?

Ralsei knows Kris better than anyone else. And maybe we should start listening to him.

[whatisevengoingonhelpme]

i was thinking about the deltarune prophecy in chapter 4 and listing out the evidence for the second hero and the last girl being noelle and dess as opposed to susie and had to stop for a second to appreciate that this game has enough central plot crucial female characters that it's something we need to discuss to begin with

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OHMY GOD SO I JUAT PLAYED AKINATOR AND TRIED TO MAKE HIM GUESS HIMSELF BUT HE KEPT ASKING IF THE PERSON I WAS THINKING OF WAS GAY AND HAD A BOYFRIEND AND I JUST KEPT PRESSING YES AND THEN

LOOK AT HIS SMUG FACE

AKINATORS BOYFRIEND

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Nader @abdalsalam2000 is in Gaza during an internet blackout, he and his family are in serious danger and they can’t communicate it to the world because the internet is cut off and e-sims are very slow. He’s a 17 year old boy who is fundraising to support his family of eight, including his father who is sick with cancer and needs treatment. Please help me share his story while he is away. i’ve only briefly heard from him in the past few days, and the situation is extremely dangerous. He doesn’t have the ability to reach out to people how he usually would, so I hope you will help me share his story and do that for him while he’s away

€59,995 raised, they’ve almost reached 60,000!! Please keep supporting Nader

@tamamita @rhubarbspring @heritageposts @dirhwangdaseul @neechees @butchniqabi @socalgal @finalgirlabigailhobbs @newporters @pikslasrce @vampiricvenus @danlous @loumandivorce @jackiedaytona @deepspaceboytoy @autisticmudkip @nashvillethotchicken @femmefitz @pitbolshevik @innerchildabortionclinic @omegaversereloaded @hotvampireadjacent @boobieteriat @mens-rights-activia @ot3

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Whenever a video with a new device for launching arrows goes viral, I get a bunch of requests to fact check it. Which feels weird because if it works it works, and figuring that out from a short video is guesswork at best.

But here’s some of that thought process!

Anyway, here’s Patreon. I do more answers to requested questions there.

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Okay but guys imagine how Kris is feeling...

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Even in NEO he's still shorter than Tenna's default... </3

... At least Tenna can sizeshift?

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He's GROOVY and NEVER glooby!