whenmemorydies

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🖤 FREE 🖤 | for @ambeauty & @sydneys-adamu

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1x8 | 4x8

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Yes Chef! I’ve been writing meta (that’s taking ages bc it cuts across all 4 seasons 😩) about Carmy’s ongoing convo with Mikey over the course of the show and it absolutely includes that walk-in conversation with Tina/Claire.

Claire gets used by Carmy throughout the show as a stand-in for Mikey and for processing his grief such that so many of their exchanges can be read as convos between Carmy and Mikey. This includes their argument in 4x03 too.

Carmy was talking to Mikey in the walk-in in S2

Carmy tells Claire in Scallop that he wasn't even talking to her in the walk-in, he wasn't even sure how much of it was real.

He wasn't talking to Tina, either. He was talking to Mikey, just like we find out this season he's been texting Mikey all along.

His relationship with Claire is about Mikey, like most of the other stuff in his life to this point.

Carmy just finally started dealing with his grief over Mikey this season, and admitted he attended his funeral, all the guilt and shame that had piled up around that.

He also has a connection to Syd through Mikey, with the blood orange hamachi dish, but that is a trauma dish that will be recontextualized when he realizes it's what brought Syd to him.

There's also the scrunchie sitting on top of Mikey's prayer card and the punk rock book (we see punk posters in Mikey's room later in the house) that has yet to be explained.

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Its canon that Carmy loves giving forehead kisses and that Sydney loves receiving them.

I'm gonna be sick.

These writers are sick.

I reckon its also going to be canon that Carmy and Emmanuel will have a lot more in common than we are currently aware of.

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From this article, when asked: Could Carmy and Sydney ever pursue a romantic relationship? Storer said:

"It's a partnership. You'll see."

I love the way they interlaced these scenes between each other in Soubise

Natalie and Pete, a purely romantic interaction/relationship

Gary and Alpana Singh, a purely professional interaction/relationship.

And the secret third thing:

Syd and Carmy which ideally should be a mixture of both.

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In general, Sinners has great cinematography, but I think this tracking shot that follows Lisa Chow across the street from her parent's Black storefront to their White storefront is one of my favorites:

Look at how it immediately establishes the rules of the movie's setting.

This is Jim Crow Mississippi where Black and White residents essentially live in different worlds. The continuous take forces us (the audience) to experience that segregation in real time as we walk behind Lisa crossing the street. There are no cuts or edits to interrupt the discomfort of having to witness all those visual reminders of racism against Black Americans.

I think it's also significant that it's Lisa, an Asian American woman, who the camera follows. As someone who exists outside the Black-White racial binary, she’s able to traverse these two worlds but the bright red of her shirt still demarcates her as a conspicuous outsider amidst all the blue and brown on both sides, representing the uniquely precarious position of Asians in the U.S.’s racial hierarchy.

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I can’t presume to know why folks aren’t engaging in The Bear fandom anymore (or choosing not to engage as much as they used to) but I’d be pretty reticent to blame it all on Chris Storer. And after we got one of the most Sydcarmy-heavy seasons of the show?

The fascist regime in America (where the majority of the fandom is based) is literally tearing communities apart, kidnapping people off the street while bankrolling (another) genocide and letting its most vulnerable rot? I don’t wanna sound like a Kardashian meme but it’s likely that many folks in the fandom either have other shit they’re dealing with or bigger fish to fry?

Take meta-writing for example. I don't know how it is for others, but it takes me a long time to produce meta. I prefer analysing the show based on its text which means I often spend heaps of time cross referencing episodes. Then there's screenshotting, writing up and editing the meta itself and including citations where I can because as shit as it can be, there is still a search function on Tumblr! And while there's still lots to unpack and discuss about The Bear (I've got about 20 metas still in draft), I know I'm finding it harder and harder to justify using as much energy and time as I do for meta and engaging here when there is a need for that time and energy elsewhere. I’m not based in America but there’s plenty of global and local crises to go around for us all.

The threat of AI has also really fucked with people’s confidence in producing creative works and sharing them online. Folks really are out here just cannibalising and stealing other people’s work like it’s nothing to produce content for likes and to train these large language models for free. It’s absolutely fucked.

Again, I’m not speaking for other people’s motives bc I haven’t spoken with everyone that’s either left or taken a break from the fandom. I just think it’s a bit cooked to pin this all on Storer right now.

The Bear fandom is pretty special and full of heaps of thoughtful, empathetic and kind people. And I think thats reflective of the show and the message it keeps driving home, season after season. It makes perfect sense to me that it’s those kinds of people who might also be the first to prioritise their energies elsewhere to protect community, to make sure that others aren’t feeling alone, at least for the next little while.

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Friend = (Life) Partner

Maybe we can blame Nat for her brother's use of the word "friend" in 4x10? Another Syd/Pete/Berzatto Spouse parallel/key purposely left for us.

Recall Carm and Nat's phone call in 4x02 Soubise:

Nat: I was sad. I mean, it was a good sad, because you were leaving and I was proud of you. But I was also sad, because at that point in my life, I just didn't really have anything going on.

Carm: What do you mean? You know, you had Pete, right?

Nat: No, yes. Yes. I had friends, and a job, and we should all be so lucky. And I have found that too at the restaurant, and I'm so grateful that you brought me in.

Carmy gives Nat's life partner and eventual baby-daddy, Pete, as the only example of something she had "going on" at the time Carmy left Chicago for New York. Nat then appears to include her life partner, Pete, amongst the "friends" she was lucky to have at that time.

Cut to 4x10 Goodbye where we get the following dialogue between Sydney and Carmy:

Carmy: I know. I know that's what I do and I'm trying to break that!

Syd: So then why are you doing it?

Carmy: I'm trying to change that okay?

Syd: You're my partner!

Carmy: I'm your friend!

Syd: You're not fucking acting like it!

Carmy: I'm your fucking friend!

Sydney explicitly calls Carmy her partner in 4x10 and, because of that crush that TJ clocked in 4x04, likely means that he is her life partner. Despite this, because these two dummies don't know how to clearly communicate with one another just yet, I reckon Carmy thinks Sydney is calling him a mere business partner here.

I've said here that I think Carmy has the realisation earlier in this argument that Sydney doesn't need him, she wants him (and therefore loves him). So Carmy calls Sydney's bluff, rejecting what he believes to be her characterisation of him as just her professional partner, and instead emphatically asserts that he is Sydney's friend. Just like Pete is Nat's friend, her fucking friend whom she's built a life with, cooks her mother's chicken piccata for, makes love to and has an entire baby with.

You know that kind of soulmate friend.

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Vetted by @gazavetters - #697

Urgent Appeal 🥊

Hello my friend 👋

My name is Mohammed, I live in Gaza City and I am 19 years old. I have lived through the full horrors of war — hunger, displacement, fear, relentless bombings, destruction, and so many other painful experiences 🥹😭.I never created a donation link before, and I haven’t received any kind of help throughout this devastating war 🥲💔.

I was so happy when the ceasefire was announced, and I dreamed of starting a small shop to earn a living. But sadly, the war returned — even more violent and destructive than before 😭.Our area has now been declared a dangerous combat zone, and we lost our home — the only shelter we had 💔.

Worst of all, my father was seriously injured: he tragically lost one of his hands and an eye, and he is now completely unable to work or support our family 🥲😭.

Prices have skyrocketed, and we have no source of income. I’m launching this donation campaign now with a broken heart but a little hope 🥲.

Please, for the sake of humanity and for the sake of my family, consider making a donation to help us survive 🙏💔.

I just created the donation link, hoping that someone out there might lend a helping hand.

Please don’t let me down 🙏❤️‍🩹

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Vetted campaign #650 under @gazavetters

My name is Nour, I’m 18 years old. I once dreamed of becoming a doctor—to help people, to heal, to bring hope. I studied hard and believed that education was my way out😭.

But the war took everything.💔

In a single moment, my home was destroyed. Everything I loved—my books, my memories, my dreams—was buried under rubble.😭😭💔💔

Now, I live with my family in a torn tent. It doesn’t protect us from the cold or the burning heat. We have no food, no clean water, no safety—nothing.😭😭💔💔

Every night we sleep not knowing what tomorrow will bring: a chance at life… or more pain.🍉🍉

My mother is elderly and needs care. I used to dream of helping others, but today I can’t even help my own family.💔🍉

I’m reaching out to every kind heart reading this: please, help us. Any amount, any support, means the world.🙏🙏💔🍉

Your kindness could help us survive… and maybe, one day, I’ll return to school and chase my dream again.❤️

link gofandme

To donate or contact: [Insert your donation link or contact info here

Be our voice in a world that’s forgotten us. Be the light in our darkness.❤️

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Oh world 🌏

I hope to find someone who will listen to us and see us now 🤍

Famine, genocide, and destruction are now covered in the media. 🩸🔇

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Hello, I'm Asmaa from north Gaza.

https://chuffed.org/project/129260-urgent-please-help-asma-and-shahd-to-survive-this-genocide

I come from a lifeless neighborhood with no color other than the color of blood and destruction.

I was born in 1991.

I'm a girl from a family of seven boys and six girls, and I'm the youngest.

My mother and I live in a house left to us by my father. I studied at university and graduated with a degree in basic education.

I worked in a private job.

I received a salary that covered my and my mother's expenses as much as possible.

We were happy until the war came.

The war on Gaza began on October 7, 2023.

Here, hell began for us in Gaza. I lost my job and became unemployed. My mother owns nothing, and I own nothing.

My mother was displaced to the southern Gaza Strip for 15 months. I didn't go with her. It was months of longing for my mother and siblings.

My brothers Mahmoud and Ashraf stayed behind.

We were displaced several times because I live in the Shuja'iyya neighborhood, a border area close to the army.

During the displacement on June 27, 2024, we left the house and raced along the road to escape the shells and planes. Then came the lightning strike. The shock was that death was faster than my brothers could escape...

Here, here, we lost our loved ones. I lost my brothers, the apple of my eye, Mahmoud and Ashraf. Mahmoud left no children. As for Ashraf, he left behind his sons who grieve, and my mother is in pain because they departed to God without a farewell, without a kiss on their foreheads, a farewell kiss. After a while, we returned home. The house had been severely damaged by demolition and stones that had fallen from their places, which used to shelter us and protect us. Now, nothing protects us except some worn-out tarpaulins that do not protect us from the heat of summer or the cold of winter. Our suffering is great, but with your help, we may reach a better and dignified life. I appeal to you to help me support myself, my mother, my loved ones, and my family. What you provide makes a difference in our lives as individuals.

We live in a world that has forgotten the meaning of humanity and giving. May God bless you all.

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I am Alaa… Can you hear me?

I am a woman from Palestine Gaza 🇵🇸.

I once had a modest but loving home with my husband, Mohammad, and our four children: Mahmoud, Somaya, Mostafa, and little Sila.

Our house was small, but it held our world — filled with warmth, laughter, and dreams.

Mohammad worked as a tailor, using his hands to stitch dignity into our days, providing just enough for us to live in peace.

But in a single, brutal moment… everything disappeared.

An airstrike hit our neighborhood.

Our home collapsed under the force of the explosion.😭💔

We escaped with nothing — not clothes, not memories, not even the toys my children cherished.

Mohammad’s tailor shop was demolished by Israeli bulldozers, leaving him without work, without tools, without hope.

Now, we live in a torn, fragile tent.

It doesn’t shield us from the cold.

It doesn’t protect my children from hunger or fear.

Rain seeps in. The nights are long and cruel. My children cry themselves to sleep.

I am a mother who cannot provide warmth, food, or safety.

I watch them suffer — I hear their tiny whispers asking when we’ll go home again… and I have no answers.

I am Alaa😓.

I don’t ask for much.

Just a chance to live with dignity again.

Just a moment of mercy.

If you hear me… if you feel my pain…

🌸Please help us🌸🙏.

Even the smallest act of kindness can bring light into our darkness.

Donation link

From a mother with nothing left but a trembling voice… thank you❤️🫂.

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⚠️Please Help my children ‼️

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #641 )✅️

Please donate and share

Hello friends, I am Abdullah Salem Abdullah Jaafar, 26 years old, a graduate of the University College with a degree in Information Technology - Multimedia. I used to have a beautiful family; I’m married and have four children, and my wife is pregnant.

I previously worked at a multimedia company, but because of the war, I lost my job, my home, my car, and now I have no place to live or work.

During the war, we were forced to evacuate more than four times. Each time, we had to leave everything behind without taking any of our personal belongings.

I live in northern Gaza.

We were displaced to southern Gaza, then to Deir al-Balah, then to Rafah, and now we live in an uninhabitable tent that is not suitable for living.

My daughter Rahaf was martyred in the war due to Israeli airstrikes. Now I have Iman, Malak, Basel, and my wife is in her seventh month of pregnancy.

Please, I am in desperate need of your help just to provide food and water for my children.

I lost my home and we have become homeless."

Please donate and share

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Please Help my family 🙏

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #672 )✅️

I am Shams from Gaza, 17 years old, a girl from a family of 7. I was in my first year of high school before the war. I loved my family, my school, my friends, and life itself. But the war came and took everything I loved away.

The days have passed filled with loss and hunger. We no longer go to school—education has stopped, my school and home were bombed, and now my sister, her four daughters, and I all live in a single room.

We are struggling just to find a bite to eat, to have a roof that protects us from rain, rocket shrapnel, and the smell of gunpowder. Time passed, and I was supposed to take my final exams this year, but the war took away our right to education in every way.

We are facing the worst living conditions—insanely high prices for food, cleaning supplies, and medicine. We are displaced after losing our home. My father was injured while trying to find food; he suffers from a herniated disc in his back.

We are truly in need of help. Life here is almost impossible, and the conditions are extremely harsh. Please help me secure shelter, food, medical care, and at least a livable situation. A little from you can make a big difference.

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Anas’ last message to the world

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Today Israel killed beloved journalist Anas al-Sharif. May he be the light of Revolution.