whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Hello dear!

Sorry for bothering you, but it's important to remind you to turn off your asks for a few days! Bad things are going to happen on Tumblr soon...

Don t know anything about this but BETTER BE SAFE EVERYBODY!!!!!!

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

Wh—

[Moire is appalled.]

Moire

It's an expression, ye daft wingnut! A joke! A jape!

Ye're tellin' me ye've ne'er had someone tell ye tae "blank thaese nuts" as a way o' telling ye they dinnae care aboot whatever ye're sayin'?

I amn't that kind o' jimmy, mate. Says a lot aboot ye that ye thought I was.

do the gods want me to only see red text blogs because I just keep finding them. help. frowny face. why does it always have to be red text ???

- @psych-eval-anon

Moire

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

”Moire! How are you? What’s shakin? What’s crackin? What’s…I’ve run out of funny phrases.” 💫 -@asklydia-onthetulpar

Moire

Ah, Lydia! Jolly good tae see ye!

I've just bin daein' th' same auld, on top o' th' fresh new blog. Keepin' tabs oan th' crew 'n' whatnot, since ol' Curls...

...Erh... Doesn't...

[There's an uncomfortable, awkwardly long silence afterwards.]

Moire

Enough aboot that, though, what aboot ye? Ye look richt as rain, 'spite th' circumstances!

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

Crash thaese nuts intae yer mouth, ye nyaff!

Ye didnae invent th' color red! It's lik' if Reese's copyrighted th' color orange, or T-Mobile magenta!

do the gods want me to only see red text blogs because I just keep finding them. help. frowny face. why does it always have to be red text ???

- @psych-eval-anon

Moire

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

...Ye're no' serious, mate.

Bein' celebrated for five posts? Five?

This is a step beyond th' hate I'm familiar wi', th' website itself is slaggin' me!

[Huff.]

Moire

Lea' that tae th' users, will ye? A' least tis funny that way.

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

do the gods want me to only see red text blogs because I just keep finding them. help. frowny face. why does it always have to be red text ???

- @psych-eval-anon

Moire

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

Well this is th' first I'm hearin' o' it, 'n' I'm nearly at th' top o' th' bleedin' food chain aroond 'ere!

Broken or unbroken, I think th' folks simply no' knowin' 'tis 'ere 'n' 'tis functionin' is perfectly realistic, aye?

...Huff. Sorry. Still, glad tae know we're likely no' alone.

Probably.

uhhh hi.. it’s uhh.. it’s david..

-@shrimpy-technician

Moire

Shrimpy!

Nice tae see a friendly face aroond 'ere sae soon. How've ye bin, laddie?

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

Ah, same auld. Cuid be worse.

...Cuid be a lot better, tae. But ye're richt in th' internet makin' things easier.

I'm still shocked it actually works. Would've thought that...

Hmph. Ne'er mind that! Is thare a'body else aware o' this, or is it juist ye 'n' me?

uhhh hi.. it’s uhh.. it’s david..

-@shrimpy-technician

Moire

Shrimpy!

Nice tae see a friendly face aroond 'ere sae soon. How've ye bin, laddie?

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

uhhh hi.. it’s uhh.. it’s david..

-@shrimpy-technician

Moire

Shrimpy!

Nice tae see a friendly face aroond 'ere sae soon. How've ye bin, laddie?

[whyisthe2ndofficer3rdincommand]

Moire

...

...This thing's got an internet connection?

Would've bin crakin' tae know that sooner...

[A sigh.]

Moire

Hmph, micht as well. Ahem.

If this message reaches a'body...

This is Moire. Second officer o' th' Pony Express long-haul space freighter "Tulpar".

We're stranded. Th' ship's crashed, th' captain's mangled 'n' th' co-pilot's bonkers.

This is no' a distress signal. We're beyond savin'.

But... I cuid really uise some better company.

additional character info!

blog will be primarily post-crash but can do pre-crash interactions

the third in command aboard the Tulpar, under Jimmy and Curly

average height, but is built like a square to compensate

transgender butch lesbian, uses she/her; has a crush on Anya, but is currently repressing it because. er. y'know

one of the older crew members; around the same age as Swansea, though still a bit younger than him

aggressively Scottish. I (Cutbug) am kinda terrible at writing a Scottish accent though so bear with me

favorite Pokémon is Alcremie, specifically the Rainbow Swirl + Star Sweet version

likes playing VR games and drawing, particularly mechas, in her free time

nearly lost the lower half of her left leg on her first official haul with Pony Express; they gave her enough "paid" time off for the hospital visit (even if the medical fees came out of her pay), then gave her a cane once she could walk again and told her to get right back to it. if you make fun of her for using a cane she will break your knee caps