willobyroseherb

[willobyroseherb]

id die for the internet archive over my country

[willobyroseherb]

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

[willobyroseherb]

I have a new found love for orangutans

"You can say that [orangutans] are not dependent on social support and approval, and if you admire this in them, that an orang is irredeemably his own person, 'the most poetic of the apes', researcher Lynn Miles told me once in an unguarded moments. What she had in mind was the difference between orangs and chimps in the way they carry on their discourse with the world.

Chimps are much admired for their tool use and for their problem-solving relationship with things as they find them...the orang is, let us say, not so replete with enterprise. Give an orangutan the hexagonal peg and the several shapes of hole, and then hide behind the two-way mirror and watch how he engages with the problem.

And watch and watch and watch--because he does not engage with the problem. He uses the peg to scratch his back, has a look-see at his right wrist, makes a half-hearted and soon abandoned attempt to use his fur as a macramé project, stares dreamily out the window if there is one and at nothing in particular if not, and the sun begins to set. (The sun will also set if you are observing a chimp, but the chimp is more amusing, so you are less likely to mark the moment in your notes. An orang observer has plenty of time to be a student of the vanities of sunset.)

You watch, and the orang dreams...when casually and as if thinking of something else, the orang slips the hexagonal peg into the hexagonal hole. And continues staring off dreamily."

Vicki Hearne, "The Case of the Disobedient Orangutans"

[willobyroseherb]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[willobyroseherb]

[willobyroseherb]

But you MUST break this fixation on love as the cure to all of your ills. If you found love right now, you would run it straight into the ground in seconds.

In the long run, you will find love. Right now...you need to sign up for art classes, dance classes, yoga, or cooking classes-or all of the above.

You need to be active and be around people, all kinds of different people, young and old. You need to practice accepting yourself, with all of your quirks, in the company of other human beings. You need to be open to the world around you.

You need to move through the world by listening to other people, without trying to prove that you're good enough for them. Just exist and be your shy self.

Have lunch, have coffee, and continue to work hard on the things that won't dry up and blow away:

Your health, your career, your little art projects or poems or essays, your odd new half-interests, the complicated folds of your sensitivity and your darkness, and your belief in a world that wants you to be happy.

from Heather Havrilesky's response to an Ask Polly letter, published in The Awl

[willobyroseherb]

Alysia Harris - Death Poem

[willobyroseherb]

I want to write about you one last time. That is not to say the yearning will be gone forever now it just means this is the end and I find comfort in that. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for telling me you love me. Thank you for telling me you are leaving, for good this time. Even if I didn't get the love I fantasized about I feel complete in my journey with you.

Thank you for our time together. Thank you for staying when you didn't need to. Thank you for wanting me first. May our story never fade from my mind.

I love you. Goodbye.

[willobyroseherb]

OP feels like what I imagine a good dad would have been like for me and my sisters (my older sister is also deaf). I'm glad his kids have him. Happy 53rd birthday kind sir.

53 on 53

I turn 53 today. I have 53 thoughts, learnings, questions, and musings on my birthday.

1. The biggest sense of guilt I feel in life is when I have to turn right into a parking lot immediately following an intersection, causing me to block the driver behind me from turning right on red. I feel like I should get out, walk back to their car, and explain that I’m turning right immediately after the intersection and had to get in the right lane to avoid cutting someone else off. 2. The longest day of my life was the day Audrey had her first open-heart surgery. I’m pretty sure that will always be the longest day of my life. 3. I think self-awareness is the most underrated character trait. 4. After decades of deep thought and contemplation, I have concluded that the Beastie Boys were correct. You do have to fight for your right to party. 5. I still run most mornings, but I’ve stopped trying to run as fast as I can. My body thanks me every day for making that change. 6. At the end of the year, when Spotify sends me my most played list, Taylor Swift is going to be at the top of my list until Ella goes off to college. 7. Nobody could ever love Audrey as much as her family, but the staff of the Plano Regional Day School for the Deaf comes really close. 8. Insecurity is one of the worst character traits for a leader. 9. I don’t think I will ever get over the Luka Doncic trade. 10. I am still amazed that when Ella was four years old, she asked me if ketchup would be classified as a non-Newtonian fluid. 11. I still haven’t decided which is worse, stepping on dog poop with bare feet or stepping in dog pee with socks on. 12. Indiana Jones is my favorite movie character of all time. 13. The 1980s were awesome, but they would have only been 30% as awesome without John Hughes movies. 14. I can already tell that Ella is going to be smarter than me, and that makes me very happy. 15. Once we work through her communication issues, I think I’m going to learn that Audrey is smarter than me. At that point, “Happy” will not do my emotions justice. 16. Never again will I pass up attending a concert for a performer that I like and say, “I’ll just catch them the next time they come to town.” Sometimes, that next time never comes. 17. This parenting thing would be 40 times more difficult without the help of Walt Disney. 18. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside. 19. Taking my girls on a Disney Cruise was the best vacation I’ve ever taken. 20. Dry January was a good idea. 21. We need to rethink 65 as the retirement age 22. Solsbury Hill is the ultimate song about letting go. 23. As bad as things seem in the world right now, just remember that we survived the 14 weeks in 1996 when the Macarena was #1 on the Billboard charts. We will get through this. 24. I feel less manly driving a Subaru than I did driving my truck. 25. When I was invited out to meet friends at a bar or restaurant when I was in my 20s and 30s, I would ask “How is the scenery?” When I was invited out to meet my friends at a bar or restaurant in my 40s, I would ask, “How is the menu?” When I go to a bar or restaurant to meet friends now, I ask “How is the parking?”

26. One of the greatest days of my life was the day I was driving Ella home from school and “Enter Sandman” came on the radio. She said, “This song rocks. Turn it up, Daddy.” 27. Everyone should have a job that they look forward to going to every day. I’m finally there again. 28. Intelligence and wealth are not necessarily correlated. 29. When I worked out before the age of 50, I would spend most of my time trying to lift as much weight as I could. When I work out now, I spend most of my time doing body weight exercises to increase my hip mobility. 30. I’ll be so happy if I never hear the word “tariff” again. 31. I still don’t know what consultants do. 32. Ella: “Daddy, you don’t have to tell me you love me. I already know.” This is a request that I will never honor. 33. Ella: “Daddy, you don’t have to kiss my forehead every morning at breakfast. I’m not a baby anymore.” This is another request that I will never honor. 34. Dave Barry is my literary hero. My goal as a writer is to write just one line half as funny as Dave Barry’s least funny line. I’ll let you know when I do. 35. It’s probably not a coincidence that colleges can pay football players now, and SMU is good again. 36. I thought we had eradicated the measles. 37. Before I had children, I would read articles in the newspaper titled “The 10 Best New Restaurants in Dallas” to plan out my social calendar. Now, that same article might as well be titled “10 Places That Andy Hunt Will Never Visit.” 38. Having children later in life has made me emotionally energized and physically tired. 39. The theme song from “Greatest American Hero” still puts me in a good mood every time I hear it. 40. I am going to learn more from Audrey than she will ever learn from me. 41. I have always had a great group of friends because a few great communities accepted me. I cannot say thank you enough to the FUMC Irving Youth Group, the Nimitz High School class of 1990, Fidelity Investments DFW, SMU PMBA Class 59, and the IMPACT Sunday School class at HPUMC. 42. I think Prince could’ve written a song playing only a triangle and a bucket, and it would’ve been awesome. 43. It costs you nothing to be nice. 44. At my age, the biggest challenge I face every day is getting up from the floor after playing with my kids. 45. When did Chick-fil-A become so expensive? 46. Audrey is the best hugger in the history of mankind. 47. Socrates said the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing. I can check that box. 48. I used to think it was a sin to not finish a book. Now, if a book doesn’t grab me within the first 30 pages, I will put it down and never look back with no regrets. 49. When I think about the ten greatest joys of my life, twelve of them include my children. 50. I don’t care how much my taxes would go up; I think we should double the pay of every public-school teacher. 51. My vision of hell is being barefoot in a room full of Legos. 52. I never wrote anything meaningful until I met my little girls.

53. Turning 53 hasn’t been too bad so far. (Note: I wrote this early in the day, so it’s likely that I will have pulled at least one muscle and misplaced my iPhone nine times by the time you read this.)

Source: 53 on 53

[willobyroseherb]

People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/

[willobyroseherb]

My favorite poems are house by warsan shire and when love arrives by Phil and kaye

what are everyone's favorite poems - mine's Annabel Lee, I can actually recite all of it from memory :)

[willobyroseherb]

one of the most fucked up aspects of being an adult is really how life-goes-on everything is. like you can be dealing with the most fucked up trauma-drama-grief and still have to sleep and eat food to survive and like. poop. pooping while you're really sad shouldn't be a thing but it is. we don't have a say in the matter. life goes on

[willobyroseherb]

cell bio professor closed out today's lecture on free-radical oxidation in mitochondria and programmed cell death by saying "you've probably all seen those commercials for fruit juice that says it's got antioxidants, which are said to prevent this sort of thing from happening, or at least slow it down. well, they don't work. this is an inevitable fact of life— this process that lets us live is also the thing that kills us, and it's why all of us will die someday. there's no escaping that. it's been with us since the dawn of eukaryotic cells; our pact with mitochondria is to the death. anyway, enjoy the rest of your friday, and remember, exam four is next week!"

[willobyroseherb]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[willobyroseherb]

God I hate being human because everything in me wants me to believe the person I'm waiting for wrote this and they are thinking about me too maybe just as much as I am about them but I know it's just me being delusional. I know it's just me being hopeful and using anything to make me feel closer to him. God will the yearning ever end.

In another universe the only time I see you isn’t in my dreams. I want nothing more than to just be in your presence again, I want to hold you and never let go. I miss your giggle, I miss the way you’d have to win, I could just get lost in those eyes of yours. Maybe in another life, or maybe I’ll find someone better for me just as you’ll do the same, leaving us as just a different memory. Only time will tell if I let my past dictate my future

[willobyroseherb]

Not in my bed reminding myself constantly that you are thousands of miles away probably not thinking about me but still desperately hoping that you are even for a moment even if it's not in the best moment. Just hoping you want me as much as I have for the past five months.

Daydreaming of a love you never confessed to feeling, of a world where you are right there and I never pushed you away, a place where it can just be me and you and that can be enough.

In another universe, i am near you.

[willobyroseherb]

i want to live on his tongue, build a home of gospel

Absolute Solitude: Selected Poems, Dulce María Loynaz, tr. by James O’Connor ( @feral-ballad ) | Farewell, Arthur Hacker | Death Wish, Josh Alex Baker | L’Amore, la Morte e Il Sogno, Roberto Ferri | The Torn-Up Road, Richard Siken | The Fall (detail), Alan Stephens Foster | The 17-Year-Old & the Gay Bar, Danez Smith | Scene of Deluge (detail), Joseph-Désiré Court