wolfedfiend

[wolfedfiend]

HAPPY LATE SECOND BIRTHDAY BENSON NOLAST NAME AND BRADLEY BRADLEY

[wolfedfiend]

two pump chump randy who also has an insane refractory period

benson with ED who cant get it up but likes to make him cum until he's having dry orgasms

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His ass does NOT care!!!!

[wolfedfiend]

california (2012)

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punch ur twink boytoy in celebration of ranson today

[wolfedfiend]

thinking about ms beard today. She keeps her cell phone in a dish on her coffee table. She’s willing to keep the personalized stuffed animal of a mass murderer. When she has to empty her pockets she just pulls out a bunch of fucking coins, from BOTH pockets. She had to go to the diner in her purple stripey socks and overalls. She’s a purple person. She tells her daughter they can have popcorn for DESSERT.

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it’s the passenger day. i would appreciate if you all would take turns in tenderly beating me to death

[wolfedfiend]

I’m sorry but this is still pissing me off—the fact that in a fandom that is (arguably) largely filled with white folks, for a white man in that fandom to say that the sole black woman in the film was unjustified for getting upset at Benson for implying her life has no meaning and then saying Marsha was overreacting for confronting him about it is just rubbing me the wrong way. I literally do not care if it wasn’t intentionally malicious; I don’t care if you used to work in the service industry as a white man and you “dealt with worse” so this was just supposed to be a little jokey-joke. It feels like a microaggression at minimum… and then to completely ignore the misogynistic and racist undertones of that “joke” when people call you out on it and refer to the messages calling you out on it as “hate” is gross behavior.

[wolfedfiend]

they want a day old burger

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they;re gonna give me an extra row of teeth bc ive been good

[wolfedfiend]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/68409546/chapters/177053956

something something cannibal randy. but not cannibal randy. come. and find out i don’t know? :)

[wolfedfiend]

Benson can handle anything. He's handy, he can fix anything given enough time and tools and swears. He knows how to cook, how to clean, because he had to do everything from a young age as his ma's health declined. He knows how to mend and alter clothing, how to make a meal out of whatever's in the pantry, how to repurpose just about anything he gets his hands on, because he grew up poor as fuck. Laundry, dishes, yardwork, meal prep, he's even gotten pretty good at doing his own electrical work and car repair. He'll chop firewood, build a bookshelf, fix that leaky faucet. Jack of all trades, even if he stomps around and cusses up a storm until the damn task is done.

But spiders? Fuck that.

Randy has to deal with the spiders. And it's not that he particularly likes spiders, but he doesn’t really mind. He doesn't kill them, even though it'd probably be easier and Benson practically begs him to. No, he asks Benson to watch it - "Of course I'm gonna fucking watch it, you think I'm even gonna blink? Fuck no, fuck that, fuck you. Hurry the fuck up." - and gets a cup and a piece of mail off the kitchen table to carefully collect the poor little thing. He takes it outside, and Benson makes him release it across the street or over the fence into the neighbor's bushes.

He doesn't ever actually tease Benson for it, but he does find it infinitely funny the way Benson screams when he comes across one. Benson denies it every time, and Randy has to be extra careful in the hours after a Spider Encounter to not touch Benson unexpectedly, or else he risks getting smacked.

[wolfedfiend]

hey (with the intent of getting lost in the arctic for 4 years and coming back a changed man who is suffering from scurvy so you can nurse me back to health) (i’m also butch btw)

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and i made them animals

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ok sure

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benson, you filthy animal

[wolfedfiend]

FREE WILL BENSON