wolfthoughts

[wolfthoughts]

I have tried adjusting a lot to everyone. In all the areas of my life. Friends, family, work. It’s been 27 years and im already giving up. Im just not for anyone. No matter how hard I try. There’s always something wrong that fucks up my relationship with anyone. I have tried so hard. I have tried so hard to live out from the only environment I encountered and grew out with. I’ve grown from this environment and ive been trying and keeping it so hard to even have a proper relationship with anyone. I have tried completely removing my trauma; but still, nothing is enough. Like both of myself the good or the bad. The one trying. It still is not working. And I am so tired of trying to be around anyone. I’m tired of trying to be around anyone. I fucking suck, I clearly suck at building relationships. You know what? The only goal that I want is to have a child. Children if they would want me. I am looking forward to just living alone and do this altogether all by myself. I will have a child. He/She is the only one I am looking forward to meeting. Hell it would be hard if even if no matter how much I try, and my kid would also end up hating me or wanting me for being the best parent I aspire to be for them; how much I want to love them, it will sure hurt as hell. But I am only looking forward to living alone now. I’m not for anyone. Im not for my family, I am not for my friends, I am not for my spouse. I am not for anyone. And I am already so tired of trying to keep a relationship with anyone who doesn’t want me in their life. which is basically, everyone. Thank you for your time my friend letter. atleast for now I still think I still have you. Or maybe even you as my letter you will hate me as well and tell me im the worst person you have ever talked or listened with. Well for now. Thank you for being there. Greatly, your love, winnie. thank you for listening.