woomyroger

[woomyroger]

What you’re lacking?

Vace Aquarius is lacking 

1) telekinesis 

2) a real life 

3) a boyfriend.

[woomyroger]

laffs in stolen cash

[woomyroger]

This will never NOT be funny

[woomyroger]

sangfearmoved‌:

The flicker of surprise that next paints her face, and consequential collapse into loathing, is probably the most genuine reaction he’d seen out of her so far. 

    “ Okay, smart-ass, ”   she begins, the entire aspect dropped far too instantly and utterly, free hand’s fingers settling backwards over her waist.   “ I know I’m shit at this fakin’ thing but damn, be, like, polite? Yeah, ‘m Cuttlegear’s resident tough-man, here ‘cuz one’a their ships got ransacked or some shit. Fuckwads’re all concerned it “fell into the wrong hands” ”   — if the flattering nickname wasn’t enough to clue him in to her opinion, those emphatic one-handed air-quotes worked fine, too —   “ but it ain’t like I really gonna bustcha for it, I just wanted t’ see if you were a real pirate. ”

A beat, and maybe that’s the flicker of a blush over her cheeks.

    “ I mean, ‘m bein’ honest ‘bout that coat, though. It ain’t on this poster, so yeah, so what if I fuckin’ do? ”

Ah, but isn’t being good at faking actually important in this line of work? Vace cracks open a smile of thick fanged beak. “ Oh, my apologies. I simply thought manners weren’t a concern for “fuckwads” and their attack dogs. Well I might know something about where it’s at. Maybe. To tell you the truth, I don’t really concern myself over who buys my wares--only that it’s going to the buyer with the most cash offered. As for the question at hand-- ”

Genteel fingers wrapped in gold flick a tentacle out of his face. “ Can’t say it’s a popular job in this day and age, but that’s less competition for me. The only folks that sometimes give me trouble are small time gangbangers looking to establish some clout. ” Then there’s Grizzco. But we don’t talk about Grizzco. Nobody wants to talk about Grizzco. 

“ The seas can be, well, rough. Nobody actually likes tightly patrolling them if they can help it. It’s the pirate way to navigate the loopholes in security. ”

He leans towards Soda. “ Of all the talents I have, manufacturing clothes is not one of them. I acquire what I want and occasionally tailor it to my interests. ” He looks the tough-man’s Tough Upper Half up precariously. “ I could do the same for you, yknow? If you wanted. ”

@sangfear

[woomyroger]

(anemone is amino, my rad dude)

o see i dont use amino so i wouldn’t know bc im old and unrad asdfsadfsfg thanks~

[woomyroger]

“ Look, if you’re gonna suggest a potential date to me, you could do me the favor of having eyes. Do I seem like the kind of person who wants to be with coral-faced loser? If they’re not cute, they’re not for me. ”

[woomyroger]

Splatoon SHOALcial Media

[woomyroger]

nerusuzo‌:

“ Indeed you are, ”   rings gently out amidst darkness. A halo of light illuminates the tunnel she slinks out of, arms outstretched warmly and patient eyes soft.   “ You are more handsome than I could have imagined, though there is always room for improvement. Perhaps the decompression chamber could do wonders in expanding your rear balloons. Come, come, you’ve someone to meet, and I’ve plankton to slurp in copious amounts. ”

Spiraling upon hidden heels, for her robe draped along her limbs and begged question of her possessing them at all, the stranger glides forth, turning to assure his following.   “ Right this way. And if you find metallic insertions unpleasant, might I offer you a standing ovation in my bed later tonight? ”

She is… Something. He doesn’t her hideous by any means so far, however that isn’t pertinent to the job. He lifts his chin at the compliment even though he needs no sort of confirmation. By Inkling standards, he believes that he is quite well sculpted. Now, in the lower department… The shadows ward off any hint of a frown in his face for now. How could she say such a thing? “ I… try… ” He scoffs–now knowing that this creature isn’t the one he’s scheduled to meet, it’s less important to him how good she looks anyway.

Her question repeats in his squishy brain for a moment, trying to make sense of what she is suggesting. Now the shadows accentuate his growing twist of a frown. “ Oh, excuse me? What metallic insertions are you referring to, Miss? ” He tries to end with some charm, an obsequious smile masking over his confused looks.

[woomyroger]

TH’ colors of other brethren o’ th’ coast be a fine lookin’ map if i do say so myself!

[woomyroger]

nerusuzo‌:

It’s quite a big space, too. You needn’t worry of cramped conditions. Please, hurry along, I would love to meet you in person!

As requested, Vace arrives at the Metro in his favorite charcoal turtleneck and slacks underneath his coat. He doesn’t know what the client looks like, but he made himself available online. The Inkling hopes that he would be spotted. In the meantime, Vace looks around after sending a message.

Hey, I’m here!

[woomyroger]

He can’t bring himself to join this Splatfest on account of the team he’d obviously choose. With the power of suppression, he’s grown comfortable with his current position in life. This event makes it impossible to suppress his thoughts on the matter regardless. He can miss out on a few Super Sea Snails to not be reminded of it.

[woomyroger]

nerusuzo‌:

You are ever too kind, darling…! Yes, I’d appreciate regular visits. I live a little far away, and would be happy to reimburse your travel. There’s a train station in the Square, off to the side and out of sight. Could you meet me down in the subway?

Oh my, a train date sounds cute, doesn’t it? ;) Alright, I will let you know when I’m there! I don’t think that I’ve used that terminal before, but I don’t want to keep you waiting long!

[woomyroger]

i should prolly post my splat blogs so ppl don’t think i’m separate ppl:

@woomyroger @virtuorco @grillblr

there.

[woomyroger]

MILF

Money I’d Like to Find

[woomyroger]

nerusuzo‌:

I am more than willing to enlist your companionship. Would it be greedy of me, to pay lavishly in exchange for your time? I… admit to my weaknesses — to see you with another after our bond, I think I would ache. Perhaps a deal is in order. Are you available now?

Oh my! Well, I can clear out some time for you now. What would be this deal you speak of? Regular visits?

[woomyroger]

A bonus illustration from Nouveau dictionnaire d'histoire naturelle appliquée aux arts v. 21 (1803) (Fig.1 enhanced for detail). Full text here.