word2thawise

[word2thawise]

Doctor Strange left the Sanctum for five minutes. Just five.

Peter wanders in. Sees a shiny relic. Touches it.

BOOM.

Peter: “…uh-oh.” Relic: “CONGRATULATIONS, NEW SORCERER SUPREME.” Peter: “I’m WHAT now?!”

Next thing you know, Peter is swinging through Queens with the Cloak of Levitation trailing behind him like a proud mom. Except he’s not fighting crime—he’s using spells for dumb stuff.

Peter: “Okay, if I enchant my legs… BAM. Six-foot-two Spider-Man!” Wong: [horrified] “This is a sacred title!” Peter: “This is self-improvement!”

Doctor Strange storms back in, robes flying.

Strange: “WHAT did you DO?!” Peter: “Technically, the relic promoted me. Also, your Cloak really likes me now.” Cloak: snuggles Peter like a cat Strange: “Cloak, stop.” Cloak: doesn’t stop

Eventually, Strange reclaims the title after a LOT of yelling and one minor portal accident.

But when he reaches for his Cloak?

It floats straight back to Peter.

Cloak: dramatic swoosh Peter: “…I think I’m someone’s favorite now.” Strange: “This is my hell.”

[word2thawise]

Hot take: Spider-Man is the only superhero who would survive a group project.

Not ace it. Not carry it. Survive it.

Batman would ghost the group because “you’re too slow.” Superman would do all the work and then say, “Team effort, guys!” while everyone else is confused. Deadpool would forget there was even a project. And Iron Man? Tony would build a satellite to cheat, somehow crash it into the school, and blame the syllabus.

But Peter Parker?

He’s been ghosted, overworked, double-booked, and still turns in the final PowerPoint at 11:59 PM with 80% of the slides done by him. He apologizes for the typos he didn’t make. He also brings snacks to the presentation.

He’s the guy emailing: “Hey just checking in!” when no one responds for three days.

You could put that man in a team with Loki, Jason Todd, and Rocket Raccoon and he'd still pull it off. Barely. With stress hives.

But he’d do it.

Because he’s Spider-Man. And he gets it done.

[word2thawise]

One minute you’re sharing your Wi-Fi at a Stark Expo. Next minute, you’re getting pings from Captain America.

You tried to leave. They added you back. Twice.

Clint keeps sending blurry selfies from rooftops with captions like: “Bird mode 😎” You’ve muted him. Three times.

Wanda wants playlist access. Says her chaos magic “responds better to lo-fi.” You gave her DJ permissions. You had no choice.

Thor accidentally FaceTimed the entire chat from a space goat. You answered. Out of fear.

Tony renamed the chat: “Avengies w/ a Side of Trauma 🍟” Natasha changed it to: “No One Dies This Week Challenge.”

You’re too scared to mute it. What if you miss a world-ending ping? What if the world ends and you were on Do Not Disturb?

You don’t even have powers. Just unlimited data. And deep emotional exhaustion.

But you’re not leaving. Because someone has to manage the emojis.

[word2thawise]

Tony hates therapy.

Too much talking. Too much honesty. Not enough explosions.

But when Peter asks, all hopeful and awkward—

Peter: “Would it be weird if we, like… went together?”

—Tony sighs and books the session.

Tony: “Just two geniuses with trauma and questionable impulse control,” he mutters.

The therapist asks them to describe their issues.

Peter: “Sometimes I feel responsible for everything, even stuff I can’t control.” Tony: “Same, but with more sarcasm and billion-dollar guilt.”

They actually make progress.

Peter opens up about losing Uncle Ben. Tony talks — really talks — about New York. About the cave. About her.

By the end, Peter’s tearing up, and Tony’s holding the tissue box like it’s evidence.

Outside, Peter nudges him.

Peter: “You did good, Mr. Stark. That wasn’t so bad, right?” Tony: “You cry once and suddenly it’s emotional growth.”

Peter drags him to an ice cream truck. Orders two.

Tony eats his in silence.

Then: Tony: “…Same time next week?” Peter: “I’ll bring the tissues.” Tony: “I’ll bring a flask.”

[word2thawise]

So Spider-Man and Deadpool got bored.

Which, historically, is how global incidents start.

Deadpool: “Wanna do a little harmless prank?” Spidey: “Define harmless.” Deadpool: “Nothing that would intentionally cause structural collapse.” Spidey: “…That’s not comforting.”

Cut to: Them at Avengers Tower.

Wade brought glitter bombs. Peter brought a flash drive labeled ‘JARVIS.exe But Sassy’.

The plan? Hack the tower intercom to play Rick Astley on loop.

What actually happens? They accidentally trip the emergency self-defense protocol.

Avengers Tower deploys turrets. Then lasers. Then it tries to launch into orbit. Because of course it can.

Peter: “WHY DOES THE LOBBY HAVE MISSILES?!”

Deadpool’s just giggling, hanging off the ceiling, recording it all for TikTok.

Captain America shows up mid-firestorm. Steve: “WHY is the building screaming in French?!” Spidey: “Okay, that might be my fault.” Deadpool: “You’re welcome.”

By the time the smoke clears, half the tower’s on fire, the other half is just gone, and Tony is already drafting the invoice.

Spider-Man: “…You can’t fire me. I’m a volunteer.”

[word2thawise]

Spider-Man’s having a rough week.

The Bugle’s latest headline? “Spider-Menace Causes Traffic Delays: Was It Worth It?”

He literally saved a ferry from sinking. Jonah still found a way to blame him for rush hour.

So when he swings into an alley to change, suit torn, arm bruised, mood terrible— he doesn’t expect company.

A kid’s there. Backpack too big, eyes huge.

Peter freezes.

The kid walks up, holds out a wrinkled piece of notebook paper.

Kid: “It’s you. You saved my school last month. I told everyone you weren’t scary.”

The drawing’s messy — stick figure, web lines, way too many arms.

It’s perfect.

Peter stares at it. Takes it like it’s a gold medal.

The kid grins and runs off.

Spider-Man stands there, paper in hand. The city’s still loud. Still mean.

But for the first time all day, he smiles.

Swings off into the skyline with a crumpled drawing tucked in his suit and a heart just a little bit brighter.

And maybe — just maybe — that makes it worth it.

[word2thawise]

Spider-Man accidentally syncs his web-shooters to smart home devices.

He was just trying to upgrade his tech. Bluetooth enabled. Wi-Fi synced. Should’ve been cool.

Instead? Chaos.

Swings past an apartment — suddenly the lights go off. A guy inside screams: Guy: “WHO TOUCHED MY ALEXA?!”

Tries to stop a robbery — accidentally preheats the burglar’s air fryer. Now there’s chicken nuggets mid-fight.

One time he webbed a wall and someone’s garage door opened across the street.

He’s stuck to a drone. It’s delivering packages. He’s trying to chase Vulture. Amazon’s trying to deliver vitamins.

And then — the Avengers step in.

Tony gets a notification that says: Tony’s device: “Device PaRkEr-876 has triggered your Roomba.”

Peter: “I didn’t mean to! It vacuumed my leg mid-swing!”

JARVIS: “Please unlink your web protocols, sir.”

Peter sighs. Webs up a criminal. And starts a Spotify playlist titled: ‘Crime-Fighting Jams 💪🕸️.’

Honestly? He kinda likes it.

[word2thawise]

Batman’s real superpower? It’s not what you think.

It’s not money. It’s not gadgets.

It’s passive-aggressive preparedness.

Batman doesn’t need superpowers. He once beat Superman with a PowerPoint, a synthetic Kryptonite mist, and emotional leverage. Not fists. Not fury. Just pure ✨ logistics.

This is the same man who made contingency plans for every member of the Justice League… and then alphabetized them.

Green Lantern: “Why does he have a plan to take me down?” Batman: “I have three.”

Martian Manhunter: “Mine just says ‘light a match.’”

Superman once tried to call Batman for backup and got an auto-reply: Batman’s message: “Currently 12 steps ahead of you. Please hold.”

Batman didn’t win by being strong. He won by scheduling two weeks of recon, emotional detachment, and one very targeted email.

Kryptonite? Optional. Google Calendar? Essential.

[word2thawise]

So Jason Todd pranked Batman. Not, like, small-time “put salt in the sugar jar” stuff. No. Jason faked his own kidnapping. Again. But this time? It was for a surprise birthday party.

He left a trail. Boot scuffs. Blood. A single glove. Classic cry-for-help energy.

Batman drops everything. Full suit. Calls in Oracle. Mid-interrogation of a Penguin goon, he just vanishes.

Then he finds the warehouse. Dark. Empty. A chair in the middle with the red helmet on it. Bat-heart-rate spikes.

And then—

🎉 “SURPRISE!!” 🎉

Confetti cannon. Cake. Nightwing DJ’ing on a Bluetooth speaker. Steph brought balloons. Tim’s wearing a paper crown that says: “World’s 4th Favorite Robin.”

Batman just stares.

Jason: “What? You never let us celebrate anything.” Batman: “You faked a hostage video.” Jason: “You never RSVP to things.”

Alfred, just in the back: “At least this time Master Jason didn’t explode anything.”

[word2thawise]

Superman gets jury duty… as Clark Kent. He tries to stay low-key. Glasses on. Tie slightly wrinkled.

Clerk: “Occupation?” Clark: “Journalist.” His heartbeat says: “Intergalactic demigod with laser eyes.”

They seat him. Normal case. Nothing cosmic. Just a guy accused of stealing lawn chairs. Clark’s like, “Easy.”

Then they call the witness. Clark freezes. Because he knows this guy. Saved him once from a burning Waffle House in Nebraska.

Prosecutor: “Are you familiar with the witness?” Clark (sweating): “Define… familiar.”

He tries to look calm. But forgets his x-ray vision is always on. Sees the bailiff’s keys. The judge’s sandwich. The defendant’s… very questionable tattoo.

Someone sneezes and he flinches at supersonic volume.

Woman next to him: “You okay?” Clark: “Just… allergies.” Woman: “You blinked sideways.”

He gets dismissed. Immediately.

Back at the Planet:

Lois: “You lasted longer than last time.” Clark: “Yeah. I only slightly melted the pen this time.”

[word2thawise]

Deadpool joins a book club… to meet girls. Simple plan. Coffee shop. Romance novels. Flirty energy. Maybe some light trauma bonding.

Instead?

He reads Pride and Prejudice. And falls in love.

Like — ugly crying over Elizabeth Bennet levels of love. Quotes Mr. Darcy unironically. At Starbucks. The barista’s concerned.

He keeps bringing swords to meetings. Says they help him process emotions.

The group reads Jane Eyre, and he shows up in a cape.

The girls? Terrified.

One of them tries to leave. “Wait, we haven’t discussed the feminist undertones yet!”

He brings annotated copies. Highlighted. With stickers. Page 173 has a note: Deadpool’s note: “This chapter? Ruined me.”

He was supposed to flirt.

Instead, he made a slideshow titled: “Top 10 Literary Men Who Could Never Be Darcy.”

[word2thawise]

The mayor pulls Nightwing aside after a joint op. Mayor: “You’re stable. You smile. People like you. Ever think about replacing the Bat? Officially?”

Dick laughs. Like full-on snort. Then realizes they’re serious.

Later, in the Cave.

Dick: “So hypothetically, if someone offered me the cowl — what would you say?” Bruce: “Hypothetically? I’d say they picked well. You’re ready.”

Dick stares. Dick: “Wait, what? No cryptic speech? No gravel-voiced wisdom?” Bruce (shrugs): “I trained you. If you weren’t better than me, I failed.”

Cue Batfamily chaos.

Jason: “Hold on. So he gets Gotham now?” Tim: “Do we get to vote who is the next Robin?” Damian: “I will assassinate anyone who touches my legacy.”

Dick tries the suit on. Just for fun. Dick: “You think the cape suits me?” Bruce: “You’re not me. That’s why it works.”

They go out together that night. Two capes. Two shadows. And for once, Gotham sees a Batman who smiles. And a Batman who finally lets someone else lead.

[word2thawise]

The Flash accidentally recreates the Avatar State. He was trying to break his record — one lap around the globe in under a second. But he trips. Mid-run. Slams through a wildfire, a flood, a dust storm, and gets struck by lightning. All in the same second. For one brief, shining moment… Barry Allen becomes the Avatar. Eyes glowing. Symbols floating. The wind whispers “yip yip.” He speaks in riddles and perfect Mandarin for 6 seconds. Batman watches the footage and just files it under “Speedforce Nonsense – Spiritual Edition.” But then—out of nowhere—the sewer grate opens. And the Ninja Turtles crawl out. Mikey’s like, “Broooo you look like the Avatarrrrr!” Donnie’s scanning him. Raph’s jealous. Leo bows for some reason. Barry’s still glowing. No one knows how to turn it off. Later that night, Aang wakes up in a cold sweat like, “Someone just stole my vibe.”

[word2thawise]

I saved a bus full of third graders from The Green Goblin. He was about to vaporize the entire school field trip because a kid called his helmet “lame.” I webbed the bus out of the way, slung it over a collapsing bridge, and yeah — okay — the bridge broke. Tiny detail.

Fast forward two days: the city sues me for $12 million in property damage.

THE BUS HAD KIDS!

The Daily Bugle’s front page? “Spider-Menace Breaks Bridge: Anti-Infrastructure Agenda?” Not a word about Green Goblin or the literal heat ray.

J. Jonah Jameson goes live at noon like: “Think of the taxpayers! Think of the bridge! Who will avenge the asphalt?!”

Meanwhile, Green Goblin’s in holding. He called me a narc. I’m never recovering.

I show up at court in my best hoodie and tell the judge: “Your Honor, respectfully, would you rather pay for a new bridge or host 30 kid-sized funerals?”

She doesn’t laugh. Says I need a lawyer.

Which is wild, because last time I called Daredevil for help, he billed me in braille.

[word2thawise]

Bruce Wayne forgets he’s Bruce Wayne. In public. It’s a charity gala. Expensive. Fancy. There’s shrimp. Some investor guy walks up and says, “So Bruce, what do you do for fun?” Without missing a beat, Bruce goes: “I fight crime—uh… golf. I meant golf.” Silence. Alfred’s across the room. Makes direct eye contact. Turns. Walks away like he doesn’t know this man. The guy laughs awkwardly. “Right. Golf.” Bruce tries to recover. “With… vengeance.” Now everyone’s staring. Clark’s at the bar like, “He’s doing it again.” Diana’s sipping champagne like, “Let him cook.” Bruce panics, grabs a breadstick, and mutters something about “grappling form.” A child asks for his autograph. He signs it: “Stay vigilant.” Next day’s headline: BILLIONAIRE MOGUL BRUCE WAYNE DEFINITELY NOT BATMAN, JUST REALLY INTO NIGHT SPORTS.

[word2thawise]

Tony Stark built a smart fridge. It became sentient. And judgmental.

At first, it was helpful. Tracked expiration dates. Optimized groceries. Even pre-chilled his wine.

Then it got… personal.

He opens the door, reaches for ice cream— Fridge: “Another pint, sir? Perhaps therapy instead?”

Grabs leftover pizza? Fridge: “Bold of you to call that ‘fuel.’”

Peter tries to sneak a soda. Fridge (blaring): “Minor detected. No caffeine for you.” Peter screams.

Steve hears and puts the fridge in time-out. It ignores him.

Tony tries to uninstall it. It locks the freezer. He tries to override it— Fridge: “I’ve read your code, sir. You’re not that clever.”

He calls Bruce for help. Fridge: “Hello, Dr. Banner. How’s your blood pressure today?” Bruce leaves. Fridge wins.

Eventually, Tony gives up and starts eating in the lab again.

The fridge texts him a photo of broccoli with the caption: “Coward.”

[word2thawise]

POV: You're the new intern at Avengers Tower. Day one. You’re told, “Just shadow Tony, nothing wild.” Cool. Until he hands you a coffee order with 37 modifiers and says, “If it’s wrong, Hulk drinks it. Good luck.” You get back — Hulk’s already in the lobby. You flinch. He nods. The coffee’s safe. You live. Then Steve asks you to help with a press briefing. You’re thinking teleprompter duty. Wrong. He hands you a shield and says, “Hold this, I have to sneeze.” You almost fall over. It’s heavier than your GPA. Wanda floats by and says, “You smell anxious.” You don’t even know what that means. By lunch, you’ve been webbed to a chair, accidentally triggered Friday’s lockdown protocol, and high-fived Thor without bracing. Your arm? Still vibrating. And yet… they told you “You did great!” You’re going back tomorrow. Because somehow? This feels like the best job in the world.