words-of-tomatoes

[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf’s eyes widen as Jacin pulls him in, momentarily caught off guard by the doctor’s willingness to show physical affection. He knows that Jacin finds it awkward, knows that he typically doesn’t let anyone aside from Winter and, on occasion, a very stubborn Iko this close to him. Gratitude washes over him as he lets go of Jacin’s hand, dipping his head in acknowledgement of Jacin’s words. It’s what any friend would do. While he doesn’t know if that can be said for everyone’s friends, he does know that it can be said for every member of the tight-knit group they’ve created for themselves over the past few years. 

--- 

Wolf’s muscles are tense the entire walk down the hallway as they approach the room where Scarlet waits. Waits is a looser term, Wolf soon comes to realize however, as he takes in her still-unresponsive form looking far too small in the hospital bed. His nose wrinkles at the overwhelming wrongness that masks what usually makes up Scarlet in his mind, but the sight of her at least calms his nerves somewhat. 

His gaze doesn’t stray from her face even as both the nurse and Jacin address him, his only acknowledgement to hearing the words being a small nod as they finish speaking. He hesitates for a long moment before walking slowly to her side - the one without the IV marring its skin. He crouches down carefully and cups her hand in his, both thumbs brushing gently over her knuckles before he presses a kiss to the back of her hand, holding it against his skin as his eyes fall shut for just a moment. Just a moment, he tells himself as he breathes in. 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Despite allowing Winter to convince him to choose something from the cafeteria, he can’t bring himself to eat even a bite of the sandwich as he returns anxiously to his chair in the waiting room. He got as far as peeling back the wrapper before a single sniff sent his stomach churning, though he isn’t sure whether it’s due to the lack of freshness the sandwich’s scent provides or if it’s simply his nerves finally fraying at the ends. 

He isn’t sure how much time has passed since he first sat, twirling the sandwich aimlessly in his hands as his gaze sinks into the tile once more. But his gaze flies to the set of double doors as the sound of footsteps reaches his ears, the sandwich falling forgotten onto the floor as he stands to meet Jacin. 

The bitter tang of blood floods his taste buds as he quite literally bites his tongue to keep himself from interrupting Winter and Jacin, forces himself to listen instead of acting. A wave of emotions crash over him: relief, that she’s alive; dread, that she may no longer be able to do all that she once could only a week ago; anxiety, that he can’t see her; excitement, that he will see her soon. 

He nearly begins to resent how long the couple is taking to talk when a pause in the conversation allows for his nerves to begin to piece themselves back together. Enough, at least, to allow him to hold out a hand - the one still bearing the scars of Enya’s defenses - and sincerely say, “Thank you.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Our babies~

// Scarlet & Anya //

Inspired by my fan fiction With You, I am Home.

[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf follows sullenly behind Winter as she leads him through the dreary hospital. He hates hospitals. Hates any setting that reminds him of his past, in any sense. He hates this one even more for hiding Scarlet away, though he knows without it, she would have been taken away forever. 

He pays no mind to the nurse as Winter hands off the washcloth, only lingering behind until she resumes her trip, eyes glued to the white tile floor as he passes the nurse who eyes him carefully. He instinctively ducks his head against her gaze, shoulders hunching toward his ears until he hears her footsteps fade into the distance. It’s been a long time since he has hidden from people’s sight. But it’s also been a long time since he’s left the safety of Rieux. 

His nose wrinkles as they enter the cafeteria, the open space providing a multitude of combined aromas that he does not agree with. His aversion only increases upon taking in his food options, but he can’t deny Winter as she opens the refrigerator. He scans the scant options haphazardly, quickly realizing that he wouldn’t be interested even if the dishes were freshly made from his and Scarlet’s own kitchen. So he simply reaches for the best of the worst - a sandwich whose label advertises turkey, cheese, lettuce, and tomato. He has no expectations - no good ones, anyway - but it at least sounds similar to something he would eat at home. 

Food in hand, he glances at Winter sullenly, giving a small shrug. 

“This is fine.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf’s initial instinct is to refuse her offer, the idea of a doctor appearing as soon as he leaves almost enough to keep him solidly in his chair without even a breath of movement. But then he thinks about sitting here alone, left with nothing but his thoughts for who knows how long. 

Scarlet has Jacin, he tells himself. If I’m not back, Scarlet has Jacin until then. He has to repeat the words a few times before he allows himself to stand, shooting an anxious glance towards the doors that Scarlet disappeared behind before turning back to Winter. 

“I’ll come with,” he says. “Let’s just go quickly, though. Please.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

A small smile joins a huff of laughter at Winter’s words, knowing she always does more than a true friend would do. But maybe she’s right and his standards have just been set too low due to his lack of experience in genuine friendship. 

His fingers instinctively curl around hers as his gaze falls to their hands. Using the contact as a way of keeping himself tethered to the ground and to the world around them. 

He nods along with her reassurance, reminding himself of all that Scarlet has been through and knowing - praying - that despite his fear she can make it through this too. 

His nose wrinkles at the thought of food, but his stomach betrays him with a loud growl that he shoots a downward glare at in response. He knows it hasn’t been long since they’d put him in the tank due to the reduced healing of his burns, but it has been long enough for his stomach to rebel at the thought of waiting any longer for food. 

“I don’t know,” he replies with a small shrug. “Anything, I guess. Nothing sounds good.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf cannot help the anxious tapping of his free hand against his leg as he paces, unable to get the image of Scarlet being carted away out his head. Knowing that Jacin is with her is only a small comfort - one that he has to frequently remind himself of lest he break down entirely. He still feels as if he might whenever he lets himself think of everything that’s happened in the past few days. So he does his best not to think. 

He almost forgets that Winter is with him until her hand finds his. He doesn’t stop moving even as she leads him to a seat, knees bouncing along with the beat of his fingers, though he tries to at least slow down at Winter’s words. 

His eyes fall shut as Winter wipes away the physical signs of all they’ve been through, shoulders drooping as the repetitive motion begins to slow his racing heart. He feels almost guilty for how much tension is gone from his body by the time she finishes. He blinks open his eyes, gaze cast downward to the remnants of nearly healed burns along his hand and wrist, silent for a moment before he speaks quietly. 

“Thank you.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

At first, Scarlet's brow creases at the sight of Wolf walking through the med bay doors. But she can't be bothered to hide the relief when she hears Jacin's explanation, and she reaches for Wolf almost without thought.

He hesitates at first, unsure of whether he'll be anything but in the way if he goes to her. But it only takes one look at her pleading expression and trembling fingers for his will to break. He steps around Winter and Jacin and crouches beside Scarlet's head, one hand wrapping around hers while the other brushes damp curls away from her face.

"She'll be okay," he whispers, though he isn't sure if it's to reassure Scarlet or himself.

His eyes don't leave her soiled curls until the lightest squeeze of his fingers brings them to meet hers.

"We'll be okay," she whispers back.

He holds her gaze silently before it falls away, finding more certainty in the red of her hair than the pain in her eyes.

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Wolf has to curl his hands into fists, digging his nails hard into his palms until the sting of pain is the only thing grounding him enough to let Jacin do his work and shut Anya inside of the suspension tank with little more than a shaky breath as the tank begins its work. 

He doesn’t pay any mind to Jacin’s words until he hears Anya’s name, pulling his gaze away from the unconscious little girl and over to meet the doctor’s. He’s already shaking his head before Jacin has even finished talking, but the mention of Scarlet makes him pause. His gaze falls away as he thinks, landing on anything and everything in sight as it jumps along with the speed of his thoughts. 

Anya won’t know the difference. 

Scarlet will need you more than Anya will. 

His instincts are warring with themselves again - even more than before. Follow his mate’s instructions and protect their child? Or trust that their child is safer without him and stand by his mate instead? 

It’s the idea of his bioelectricity that pushes Wolf to make his decision. He’s been told numerous times how loud he is, how noticeable. He knows how easy it is to find him, even in a room of people. And he knows that it would take no time for anyone searching to find him, and by default, Anya. He knows that even with Iko by his side, they wouldn’t stand a chance against whatever was sent to retrieve them. 

He turns to Iko and hesitates one more time before speaking slowly as if each word pains him. 

“Take care of her. Please. Keep her safe.” 

“I’ll protect her until my last circuit fails me.” Iko nods solemnly, hand lifting to cover where a heart could have been. 

Wolf’s gaze lingers on Anya’s sleeping form, surrounded by the blue gel bringing her back to life little by little, before forcing himself to turn his back. He doesn’t look at Jacin as he speaks, each word sounding as if it’s being forced from his body. 

“Let’s go.”

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf's mouth tightens at Jacin's lack of a response, and if he wasn't in the state he is in, he may have understood the logic behind Jacin's refusal. But right now, he is scared, he is hurting in more ways than one, and he can't help but resent the doctor for it. But the tension in his face eases into the faintest traces of a smile as his gaze meets Winter's. Could she actually do anything to keep Scarlet safe? No. But the words still remind him that Scarlet would be surrounded by people who loved her, including Jacin.

His attention returns to Jacin as the man approaches with a finger to his lips. A twinge of guilt and regret shoots through him as he realizes what Jacin is about to do. He should have known that it was inevitable - and somewhere deep down, he had. But even knowing this is for the best, he can't help shutting his eyes against the whimper the anesthesia brings, opening his eyes in time to see the betrayal in her gaze before she slips away.

At Jacin's direction, Wolf moves to stand, taking one last long, lingering look at his wife, drinking in every detail before turning away.

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[words-of-tomatoes]

The hope in his chest crashes down as quickly as it had risen as Wolf realizes the implications of what he had just said, only brought to realization by Jacin’s words. The tank can only save one. They have to leave someone behind in order to save both of them. 

But - 

But he can’t - 

“I can’t leave either of them,” he mutters desperately, almost to himself. “They need me, they both need me.” 

They won’t survive otherwise, a voice whispers in the back of his mind. But every instinct - both human and wolf - revolts against the very suggestion of such a thing. He opens his mouth to say as much to Jacin - there has to be another way, another option - but before he can, Scarlet’s voice breaks through. 

It’s faint, worn ragged by the screams torn from her throat. But it reaches him regardless. 

“Give it to Enya,” she says roughly, pulling his gaze to hers. “I can handle the ride. Give the tank to Enya.” 

She pauses for a shaky inhale before finishing, “And stay with her. She needs you, Wolf. I’ll be alright.” 

For a moment, Wolf simply stares at her, his mind moving too slowly to register immediately what the words mean. But then they make sense, and the world beneath his feet seems to crumble away a little more until he has nothing but a single foothold keeping him from falling away completely. 

“Scarlet,” he begins, shaking his head as he looks at her desperately, “I -” 

“Wolf,” she cuts him off sternly. “I’ll be okay.” 

He closes his mouth softly, swallowing against the lump growing in his throat as his gaze moves between his wife and the little girl in his arms. In his heart, he knows she’s right. Scarlet has a whole support system around her to keep her safe while they are apart. And this wouldn’t be the first time, though he hates the distance and the uncertainty more than anything. Enya has nobody. Nobody but him. 

“Alright.” His shoulders slump as he gives in, eyes closing as the weight of the decision presses in from all sides. He opens his eyes enough to glance up at Jacin, pleading as he repeats, “She’ll be okay.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf winces with each sound and twitch of pain Enya emits as he carries her into the med bay, but he keeps going no matter how badly he wants to stop for both her sake and his sanity. His gaze immediately finds Scarlet as they enter the med bay, a quick scan of her face taking in every detail of pain it contains, from the sweat beading her brow to the way she scrunches her eyes shut against the world. He wants to go to her, too, wants to be there for her just as much as he has been for Enya. But he can’t be in two places at once and he knows he’ll only get in the way if he tries. 

Even so, he keeps his gaze on her even as he follows Jacin’s instructions, watching closely as Jacin moves to her side and presses gauze into the wound in her shoulder. He shudders at the sound of her screams, the volume and pitch sending an overstimulating amount of information to his brain. He knows already that he will never be able to keep that sound from his mind, knows that he will plagued by nightmares full of Scarlet’s screams and Enya’s cries for years to come, if they ever even end at all. 

He’s so consumed by the multitude of sounds and emotions surrounding him that he almost misses Jacin’s words. He would have if the other man hadn’t turned to face him, drawing Wolf’s attention to his sharp gaze. 

We need a hospital.

He sees the desperation in Jacin’s gaze and for a moment, Wolf fears that they are just as lost as they were before. But then Jacin speaks again and the familiar words rattle something free from his jumbled thoughts. 

A suspension tank. Of course. 

“We have one,” he blurts without thought. He pauses to give his head a quick shake before continuing. “Not the hospital. The suspension tank.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf waits for Jacin’s response anxiously, holding his breath until the words he wants to hear are spoken into reality. He aims the same expression of gratitude towards the doctor that he did toward Myha’s kindness before his features shift into one of hardly contained disdain as he glances towards the corner where the scientist still sits silently. Now that another person has taken his side - this one with medical knowledge - he cannot help but feel more dislike for the woman who was so easily prepared for cruelty before anything else. 

His gaze shifts back to Enya at the return of her cries, fingers twitching as he watches her struggle uselessly against Jacin’s grip. Even when Jacin is finished, he can feel the tension in Enya’s body, the way she wants nothing more than to snatch the needle from her skin and throw it as far away as possible. And he knows, he understands. He’s been there before. But she can’t, and he prepares himself to stop her if she makes any move to go through with her wishes. 

“It’s okay, Enya,” he says gently. “Jacin is going to help. This is going to help.” 

He doesn’t respond outwardly to Jacin’s orders, but he does move to stand, holding Enya as still as he can as he finds his footing and begins to leave the podship. He winces with each step that he takes, knowing that there’s no way to take away the movement completely, no matter how badly he wants to. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats instinctively as he moves toward the Rampion. 

The old ship is a welcome sight as they approach the ramp, the sight of their friends even more welcome. But Wolf barely spares them a glance as he passes by. He takes no time looking at the ship; it isn’t as if this is his first time seeing it. He simply makes a path straight for where he knows the med bay to be.  

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf can’t help the relief that washes over him at the confirmation that no one else has been allowed to know about this moment that is only for them. It’s selfish, he knows, to be so focused on this when there are far more important things requiring all of his attention. But for once, he allows himself to be selfish. They deserve this one moment for themselves. For now, at least, they can have this, if nothing else. 

“Okay,” he promises, hushing noises filling the space between words as he holds her tightly. “Okay, my star, I won’t call. Not unless I have to.” 

He knows that if something doesn’t feel right, whether physically or instinctually, they will have no choice but to call for help. But by then, even a moment’s hesitation could be the difference between life and death for Scarlet and their daughter and he would never put either of them at risk unnecessarily if he could help it. 

But he forces himself to believe Scarlet, at least for now. She can do this. They can do this. 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Caelia’s head turns quickly at the sound of a new voice, an unfamiliar one, coming from behind. Her eyes widen as she takes in the stranger in front of her, one who looks both familiar and not. She looks repeatedly between this new person and her mother, confusion creasing her brow, before smushing her cheek against her father’s neck and drawing her hands to her chest, looking at the stranger suspiciously. 

Wolf chuckles at the interaction, sharing an amused look with Scarlet over Enya’s shoulder. Seeing them side by side like this, he can more than understand the confusion. With her bright red curls and the smattering of freckles across her skin, Enya truly does resemble Scarlet. 

“She’ll warm up,” he promises as he moves around the table. 

He doesn’t even try to return Caelia to her highchair, knowing it will result in a tantrum that he would rather not interrupt the newfound peace with. He simply moves to pull out a chair for Enya before moving to his own, sitting Caelia on his lap once he’s settled. 

“We weren’t sure if you still liked the same foods that you used to,” Scarlet says as she helps Sirah into a chair. She straightens from pushing the chair in before waving a hand almost awkwardly toward the dishes scattered across the tabletop. “But we also didn’t know what you do like now. So we made your favorites. Or - what were your favorites then.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

Wolf closes his eyes against Enya’s words, against the small cry that bursts its way past her lips, against her pleas that somehow mean so much and so little all at once. He opens his mouth to make yet another ill-fated attempt at soothing her, but stops when Jacin approaches them, his voice coming in a way that Wolf isn’t sure he has ever heard before. 

He watches carefully as Jacin interacts with Enya, muscles tensed for a fight despite knowing that Jacin would never do anything to hurt the little girl in Wolf’s arms. His hold tightens in response to Enya’s sudden distress, but he forces himself to relax for her benefit rather than his. 

The movement draws Wolf’s gaze up in time to meet Jacin’s before the man’s attention shifts once more. He clenches his jaw as he looks down at the small form curled up in his arms before looking back up to Jacin. 

“She’s terrified,” he says solemnly. “And she trusts me. But not enough to believe she’ll still be okay if she sleeps.” 

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[words-of-tomatoes]

He catches her immediately, cradling her against him as she burrows her face into his neck. One hand cups her head as he tilts his face toward hers, letting his nose brush the shell of her ear as she clings tightly to him. His heart stumbles over itself as she speaks against his skin, the words seeping into his veins and rapidly spreading terror throughout his body. The hand not cupping her head curls into a fist, clenching tightly before releasing and then repeating the motion once more. He can’t be scared here; only one of them can be scared right now, and Scarlet has more than enough justifications to be the one selected. 

But the baby is coming and Wolf is terrified. 

It isn’t simply that he’s terrified of becoming a father - though he is, oh, he is. Nor is it the idea of something happening to either his mate or their child, though that has been a lingering fear since the day her pregnancy was confirmed. No, it is the fear of what will happen after that has his heart stuttering in his chest. They’ve tried so hard to avoid the topic of what Levana will do once their child is born. But now it’s here and they will most likely have their answer before the night ends. 

“Okay,” he says finally, the hand resting on her head moving to draw soothing circles as he speaks. “Breathe. Deep breaths.” 

He tries to steady his own breathing along with her, though he finds it harder than he expected and he can’t imagine how difficult it must be for her. 

“Have -” He hesitates. “Have you told anyone else?” 

He hates even the suggestion that someone could have found out before him, especially someone here. But he also remembers the orders they had both been given, to notify a guard immediately whenever Scarlet went into labor. Neither of them much liked the idea of being surrounded by their captors as their child was brought into the world, but could they really deliver a child on their own? Safely? 

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