wtfevolution

[wtfevolution]

Up to $5 now. I think the price-setting robots are onto us. Quick, before capitalism catches up!

Psst. I have no idea why, but the WTF, Evolution?! book is less than $3.50 new on Amazon right now. The eBook is also on sale for $1.99 all this month. Tell a friend!

[wtfevolution]

Psst. I have no idea why, but the WTF, Evolution?! book is less than $3.50 new on Amazon right now. The eBook is also on sale for $1.99 all this month. Tell a friend!

[wtfevolution]

Some people bake for the holidays. Evolution makes hundreds of perfectly round, pointy-eared, ridiculous-nosed bats. Bring some to your family gathering this year! 

Source: David Dennis / Flickr / licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

[wtfevolution]

“Good lord, evolution, what is that?”

“It’s a flannel moth caterpillar I just finished. Funny little guy, huh?”

“It’s sort of… terrifying.”

“What? Nah. Look, it’s mostly hair. Pretty irritating, maybe, but there’s not much room for brains under there. It can’t actually do anything.”

“Okay, if you say so. But then where are you going to put it? Like, what is its ecological niche going to be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Do I have to think of everything? I mean, I guess it could run for president of the United States.”

Source: Olly Boon / YouTube

[wtfevolution]

Look, the book came out a while ago, which means no one will even be expecting it this year. Now’s your chance to surprise them!

Need a holiday gift for your nerdy best friend, precocious teenage offspring, or fundamentalist aunt?* Consider the WTF, Evolution?! book. Charles Darwin would have liked it, probably.

Here’s what some living people are saying:

“Mara Grunbaum’s book highlights the amazing, truly strange side of evolution. Nature’s a funny thing.” —The Verge

"In addition to being entertaining, the combined photos and commentary are extremely educational. They are also a constant reminder of what evolution is and how it really works.” —Huffington Post

"Although many of the species profiled here have downright disgusting quirks (such as baby toads that crawl through their mother’s skin), readers can’t help but be awed by them.” —Scientific American

Available at: Amazon Powell’s Books Barnes and Noble IndieBound and bookstores near you.

*WTF, Evolution? cannot be held responsible for the reaction of your fundamentalist aunt.

[wtfevolution]

Tonight!

New York/New Jersey! I’m doing a reading next week at Little City Books in Hoboken. You should come.

[wtfevolution]

Happy Thanksgiving from evolution! Enjoy your roast ugly dinosaur.

[wtfevolution]

New York/New Jersey! I’m doing a reading next week at Little City Books in Hoboken. You should come.

[wtfevolution]

Chin up, sea toad. Evolution may have given you a grumpy face, a potato-sack body, and what looks like a permanent case of chin rash, but at least you got legs, right? How many fish get legs? Legs are probably good for something underwater, right? They probably are. I mean, they certainly don’t look useless dangling from your weird little abdomen like that while you swim. Not useless at all. You really are a lucky fish.

Video courtesy of NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program

[wtfevolution]

“Oh, that’s a cute one, evolution! What is that?”

“It's a hyrax! It pees in holes.”

"Huh."

“Guess what it's most closely related to.”

“I don't know, what?”

“No, guess.”

“I mean… rodents, right? It's a rodent?”

“Nope. Teeth are different.”

“Oh. Um, is it some kind of tiny fat dog?"

“What? No.”

“Oh! Is it like that weird miniature deer you did?”

“Ha, no. That was a good one, though.”

“Okay, fine. I give up. What is the hyrax most closely related to?”

“Elephants and manatees.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Nothing in between?”

“Not really, no.”

“I just... how? Why?”

“Dunno. I like messing with you, mostly.”

Image Source: Bjørn Christian Tørrissen / Wikimedia Commons / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0

[wtfevolution]

“Hey, look! If I have this Taonius squid float around with its arms above its head, it kind of looks like a funny bird.”

“More like an uncannily murderous bird, evolution.”

“Potayto, potahto.”

Source: Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute (MBARI)

[wtfevolution]

“That’s a cute little bug, evolution!”

“Yes, thank you! It’s a beaded lacewing. I’m just finishing up the larval form’s feeding mechanism now.”

“Oh yeah? What do the larvae eat?”

“Termites.”

“Hm. Those can be hard to catch, can’t they? Don’t you want to give the lacewing some stronger legs or giant trap-jaws or something?”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s going to paralyze the termites first.”

“Paralyze them? How will it do that?”

“With toxic gas.”

“Come on, where does it get toxic gas?”

“From its anus.”

“... I’m sorry, what?”

“It can release toxic gas from its anus.” 

“Okay, but...”

“It sneaks up and farts on the termites’ heads until they pass out, and then it eats them. I don’t know what you’re not getting about this.”

“I just... I don’t... um...”

“It’s doing the termites a favor, really. That way they don’t have to feel it when the lacewing punctures their abdomen with its mouthparts and starts digesting them from the inside. Anyway, break for lunch?”

“No thanks, I think I’m good.”

Source: Flickr / cotinis / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 Read more: Silent and Deadly: Fatal Farts Immobilize Prey by Gwen Pearson at WIRED

[wtfevolution]

“Any exciting weekend plans, evolution?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ll probably just stay in and put weird things on birds again.”

“Really? Don’t you do that like all the time?”

“Yeah, so? It’s not like this comb duck is going to festoon itself.”

Source: Flickr / Ian White / licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 Psst! Seattle! Reading tonight!

[wtfevolution]

Seattle! I'm reading and signing books this Friday at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Come say hi!

[wtfevolution]

“Oh man, I just learned a cool trick with the trap-jaw ant.”

“What’s that, evolution?”

“Well, I gave them those huuuuuge snapping mandibles to crush prey, right?”

“Yeah, those seem effective.”

“They’re working great. And I just realized they can help it with predators, too.”

“Really? Aren’t its predators huge?”

“Yeah, but if the ant snaps those big jaws against the ground, it can catapult itself it into the air.”

“Catapult?”

“Yeah! It just kind of flings itself away from the attacker at great speed.”

“Huh, okay. And what’s going to happen when it comes back down?”

“Oh, come on, I can’t figure everything out.”

Source: Sheila Patek et al., UC Berkeley

[wtfevolution]

"Evolution, what are those flatworms doing?"

"Oh, they're getting ready to penis-fence."

"Penis... fence?"

"Yeah. They're hermaphrodites, so either of them can inseminate the other one to reproduce, but neither one actually wants to be inseminated."

"They... don't?"

"Well, no. It's much easier to be the inseminator. I kind of set it up so that actually bearing the offspring totally sucks. Haha, whoops!"

"So... they're going to..."

"Try to stab each other with their two-pronged penises while simultaneously avoiding getting stabbed themselves, yes."

"Jesus."

"The good news is that there's no real reproductive opening, so they can just pierce the skin wherever and get the sperm in."

"That's the good news?"

"Well, I thought so. Ooh, they're starting! Fatherhood to the victor!"

"It is way too early in the morning for this."

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Photo courtesy of Nico Michiels / licensed under CC BY 2.5

BAY AREA! I'm reading tonight at Books Inc. Berkeley. Come say hello!

[wtfevolution]

"Ooh, that’s a nice fish, evolution."

"Oh, thanks! I’m pleased."

"What is it called?"

"This one’s a pearlfish."

"Lovely. And what does it eat?"

"Little invertebrates, that kind of thing."

"Delightful. And where does it live?"

"Inside the anus of a sea cucumber.”

"Oh, for Christ's sake."

"What? It’s a fine place. Safe, sheltered, just the right size for the fish to squeeze in.”

"And you were doing so well for a minute there, too."

Source: Wikimedia Commons / Alessandro Pagano / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0