xaviemargaret-blog

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You were the one, I wanted most to stay. But time could not be kept at bay.  The more it goes, the more it's gone, the more it takes away.

Lang Leav

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Do you remember the song that was playing the night we met? No, but I remember every song I have heard since you left.

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Some time out.. The time may not Be prime for us Though you are A special person. We may be just Two different clocks, That do not tock, In unison.

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My A-lways

It’s been 7yrs since we met, and I never thought that joining a certain group would turn into something that would change my life forever. It started with Hi and Hellos, we sat together on our first meet-up in a TV show as audience, then eventually ended up being interested with each other. Who would’ve known that admiring CG (an actress) would led me to you? Got our numbers and from that day, we just can’t get enough of each other (as friends). Us talking from seconds to minutes to hours to days and weeks, who would have known? Each day passing by and i’m starting to get attached with you and your presence. I feel “kilig” every time my phone beeps and I am hoping it was you, it has always been you. We know that we could never be together, but we tried to ignore what other people are saying. With you, it always feels right. With you, it feels right to love again. With you, it always feels like home, my home. But time flies fast and things came up. I don’t know you anymore and I don’t know me anymore. We fight again and again and again. Until you met someone new, I can see in you the excitement whenever you see her. You connect instantly because you have so many things in common, unlike us. Until one day, you chose her over me. I guess it is both our fault baby. Yes, the love is still there and we stayed, or should I say, I stayed. But the pain is unbearable. It felt like death. You cut me off of your life - Nov of 2014 without saying anything, without saying goodbye. Or maybe I didn’t give you that chance that’s why you chose to go and leave me with so many questions. I accepted that for almost 3 years now, yes, almost 3years. I saw you a month ago, I told myself I am ready to face you, I am over you, I’m already moved on, or so I thought. Almost 3 years and yet I still want you. I still want an explanation on what really happened. On what I did for you to leave me. Because of an unexpected incident that happened, it led us to see each other again. Your niece died, she is the reason why we met again. While walking near to you, you saw me, and I saw your eyes got teary. I guess you were touched by the gesture that I did, that I was there, that after all that happened between us your family was once my family too, and she was once my “anak” too. You hugged me so tight that very moment, it was long, it feels good just like the old days. I realized how much I missed you, how much I missed us. After that night, I can’t stop thinking about you. I always wish that you will message again, but you never did. Few months before that, an unexpected message popped up on my messenger. It was you, saying sorry for everything you did, but never the reason why you did it. I told you I already forgave you, yes it’s true, I already did baby. When I missed you, I read my favorite letter you gave me when we are still together. The one in the Starbucks tissue paper haha. It means so much maybe because it felt real. Here’s the letter: ———- Letter For My LOVE Aug. 2, 2013 Cainta Rizal Dearest Baby, Isn’t it romantic that i wrote my love letter here in this 100% recycled tissue paper of our favorite coffee shop (Starbucks), our favorite hang out…ahahahha Happy monthsary Baby… This is one of our best date ever… Breakfast in bed, well you cook it and prepare it for me… (love it) with a book to add in my collection (thats so sweet) and a new haircut (amazing) super happy baby…thank you, thank you so much… Last night, while driving home, i said to myself, “she is mine”.. I’m right where i want to be.. i have always desired to have that special someone in my life who could make me feel like everything was alright in this world for i had you, and with you this is something that i feel for each day. I do not know what i have ever done to receive such a sweet gift in the form of you. You are the best, the sweetest, the most genuine and the most loving person. I not only love you, but i respect you and have all my admiration in store for you. I thank God for having you. I love you now and forever and always hold you close to my heart. I thank you for loving me and accepting my love in return. You showed me that there is still hope in this world. You made me realize that all things are still possible. Because of you i began to feel whole and alive again. Love is something that i thought was never meant for me, but then i met you and everything changed. Now i want nothing more than to stay with you forever and i want you to be mine and never change. The love that we have is something special and beautiful, no matter what happens,that is something that i will never stop feeling for you. I love you, I always have, always will and love will always be you and no one else.. Baby you complete me and thank you for embracing me with your love… iloveyou baby..hug u tight… “ ——— This letter is for our 28th monthsary. Yes, umasa ako dyan. Maybe I wasn’t the one. Maybe we weren’t our Always. Maybe, you’re not my home. Baby, thank you for everything. For being my almost. You will always have a special place here. You are my greatest love and my first ever true love. You are my ” The One That Got Away “ “In another life, I would be your girl. We keep all our promises, be us against the world. In another life, I would make you stay, so I don’t have to say you were the one that got away, the one that got away” iloveyou for always, baby. - M | 2012