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Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

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People do not account for the weird ass situational dynamics the Fresh-Out-Of-The-Portal-Ford got dropped into. And I'm not talking about Mabel and Dipper staying at the Shack, or the Shack being a tourist attraction itself.

I would like to, at some point, explore the idea of what the hell Ford would do if Stan was out of commission when he got back.

Not dead, to be clear. Just. Unconscious. Sick or something. Maybe he hit his head during the Portal's activation and is out for the count.

Because I think without Stan mediating, Ford would have VERY LITTLE idea what the hell is going on.

Ford gets back to his home dimension, and there are two children (twins, he can tell right off the bat. Chubby cheeked and they look familiar, painfully like the twins in the picture Ford carries in his pocket) and another man that looks like a large hairless gopher. The twins are Mabel and Dipper, and the man is Soos.

All together they drive off the federal agents that were apparently after his brother, for some reason And manage to settle the sick/injured/otherwise unconscious Stan up in the Shack, sleeping peacefully.

Uh. Now what.

At some point during all this another girl shows up brandishing an axe at Ford and being threatening despite the fact she can't be more than fifteen.

Ford does a head count.

Himself, (traveled in the multiverse for 30 years and has no concept of contect for this world, arguably the most responsible. Cannot cook)

Mabel and Dipper (twelve, staying over in Gravity Falls for the summer at their parents wishes, full of questions, cannot cook.)

Soos (Twenty One and very nice, unknown relation but knows the answer every question regarding the Shack or Stans medical care, including medication he has to take which no one else knew about. Can cook)

And Wendy (fifteen, suspicious and protective, unknown relation. Second in terms of knowing things about Stan. Can cook a little)

And Ford takes all of this information, mulls it over, does the math, thinks it through and decides "Ah. Stan has had children since I've been gone. Checks out."

(He probably gains the nerve to ask Wendy where her mother is, thinking Stan's...wife? Is probably out of town or something, but Wendy shoots him a mean look and says "she's dead, actually." And Ford panics so hard about the social blunder he never asks another question)

So for. However long it takes Stan to wake up, Ford is operating on the idea that, in the three decades he's been gone, Stan has built a family (tragic, about his wife. When he asks Mabel though she mentions a divorce, so maybe its not so tragic-?) And a business (which all the kids (soos included) demand stays running even while Stan is recovering because Stan would hate to see it closed) and a happy life.

So, Ford decides he must be a Good Uncle, and steps up. He's proud of Stan, even if his twin did technically steal his identity. He's still mad, a little, but Ford's heart is very quickly melted by Stan's kids.

And they ARE Stan's kids. Ford can absolutely tell.

Mabel and Dipper, despite being a neice and nephew, remind Ford of Stan a lot. The adventures, their personalities, their...inclination towards committing crime with very little hesitation

Seriously Stan, what are you teaching your children?

Soos is, of course, Soos, who is very concerned about Stan's safety and also the rest of the kids, and he takes to his temporary job as head of the Mystery Shack like a duck to water. He reminds Ford of a younger Stanley, eager to please and strong willed, determined to get things done.

Wendy is a wild card in that Ford doesn’t know exactly how best to connect with her, but Soos assures him thats just how Wendy is. Wendy has all the snark and the spark that Stan had in their youth, and Ford sees that right off the bat (its funny because she swings a bat at him at least once)

All in all, by the time Stan is awake again and back in the game, Ford is undeniably smitten with this ragtag bunch of kids Stan has. He's proud of how Stan raised them, proud of Stan for being the father they didn't get.

Stan, fresh out of a sickness/concussion/whatever based coma, looks his brother dead in the eye and says "Stanford. What the fuck are you talking about?"

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They were forced to dress up nicely for the special occasion. Stanford didn't really notice the difference, but Stacy fucking HATES long skirts. She can tolerate medium and short skirts, wearing them, she doesn't keep tripping and falling, at least.

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Steam Punk Grunks.

[Outfit Meme]

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that goddamn pig

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The Persian that Dipper and Mabel were supposed to get is Pyramid Steve

Your mind! Your mind

They're not actually sure if Steve's a boy.

Like Bill, they can't find any identifying features on this thing, so they saved a trip to the vet for neutering 👌

Downsides to the eating situation: entire pots of stew can go now missing within one second. Chicken breasts can Not be left on the counter or his bottomless greedy ass will Get It. One has to cool pies in the fridge while the other keeps Steve busy

Unlike Bill who's all tooth and nails, Steve is quite the softie. Alarmingly soft, actually. He lacks anything that could tell him apart from a plush toy. You could poke his eye and he wouldn't blink

You've heard of cat magnet now get ready for Cat Magnet

His gifts aren't nearly as large as Bill's. They consist of animal species not native to the local area.

He doesn't shed fur but he did shed his entire eyeball once. Fell right out his socket.

A new eye grew back after a few days. Everyone eventually stopped freaking out and Mabel kept the old one <3

Here's the best part about Steve - he doesn't constantly try to eat Waddles. They used to keep Bill and Waddles as separated as possible, but Bill stopped at nothing to keep seeking out Waddles in a manner so intense it could only be described as actively malicious

They put their foot down and decided to send Bill away when he crossed the Waddles line

Piggie's okay now, don't worry, had an infection for weeks but it cleared out in the end

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party grunkles

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The concept of this hit me like a dang sledge hammer one night when I was on my way to bed. Felt like my heart was gonna burst if I wasn’t careful. This is Stan’s first grandchild of many. They probably adopt a few too. But Stanley’s the one he ends up closest to.

Stan regularly reminds everyone she’s going to have to fight him to the death when she’s 13 to keep her name.

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Mannnn

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Is Ford's hatred of Dr. Pine well-known to the public? Because I'm thinking of the absolutely insane reaction that would probably take place after Stan is posthumously revealed as the man behind Dr. Pine.

Imagine you grew up with this beloved puppet and by seemingly pure coincidence it looks exactly like this guest scientist who shows up on the show later and publicly hates it with a burning passion.

That scientist also happens to become a well-known famous scientist who continues to hate that puppet long after it retires.

Then, you hear said scientist and his twin brother have died. Maybe you knew he had a brother, maybe you didn't, but suddenly it's revealed that said twin, who is so close to his brother he has spent the last several decades living with him, was behind the puppet the entire time and based it off of his brother, the WELL-KNOWN BIGGEST HATER OF SAID PUPPET!

The internet would lose its mind

The internet does indeed lose its goddamn mind.

But somehow its worse than that because listen

The world does NOT know about Stan pines until after his death. Dr. Stanford Pines, renowned unusualologist is kind of a quiet guy. He appears, and disappears with the same level of anonymity. Every decade or so he will show up at some scientific conference, drop three journals worth of first hand observations and twelve volumes worth of scientific papers on each one (helpfully written by his research partner Fiddleford Mcgucket and later, much later, Dipper Pines) refuse to elaborate except to thoroughly explain his points in a manner that leaves no argument, and then disappear off the face of the earth for another decade.

The man is INSANE and the scientific community doesnt know whether to hate him with a passion or revel him like a saint. The man is a myth and a legend. Every once in a while an up and coming research student will gain the courage to reach out to him and ask him a question, and they get bragging rights forever if he actually responds. Ford has FAME is what im getting at, and the strangest thing about him is that he keeps getting invited to, and GOES on this kids show called Poppy Avenue, despite looking near to blows with their science puppet.

Honestly, most people in the scientific community write it off as “well, Dr Pines? Yeah hes weird like that.” And unanimously decide that it’s Not Worth The TRouble to bring that fact up really, it’s just a piece of info they have that is a little strange, but not really surprising. Dr Pines, super famous scientist, hates Dr Pine, the puppet from Poppy Avenue. It’s a fact

But everytime Fords discoveries go global, eventually someone (some poor, unknowing soul,) will bring up the fact that Dr Pine, the puppet, looks a lot like Dr Pines, the man, and everyone who Knows will try and get the poor soul to backtrack before Ford sees (the only thing worse that Dr Stanford Pines never responding to your research question is Dr Pines only responding to your tweet about a puppet with a fucking THESIS paper on why youre wrong. It’s humiliating.) but it’s too late. Ford always knows. Bringing up Dr Pine to him is worse than poking a stick at a bear or waking a sleeping dragon. The world will watch you get torn to shreds and laugh

WORST OF ALL, and mind you. Dr Pine is retired. Hes an old puppet, USUALLY the only thing Dr Pine posts on the internet anymore are supporting ads for new Poppy Avenue segments, or pictures of Dr Pine on a beach in his retirement. Hes got a huge following, but Dr Pine only posts like. Once a year.

But he almost always will respond to whichever poor soul Ford has just torn apart. Dr Pines will pull up in the aftermath, poke at your singed corpse and say something along the lines of “Dr Pines, there’s no need to be so rude to someone just asking a question! In fact, asking questions is good for our brain, and encouraging critical thinking skills by supporting our peers who do not know something is one way we can all become better scientists!”

And Dr Stanford Pines, world renowned researcher and noble prize winner, someone who earned twelve PHDs and will go down in history as one of the best scientists the world has ever seen, will respond in less than a minute with “KYS.”

When the world finds out that they were brothers, everyone collectively goes “Oh.”

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You'll probably have dozens of messages like this one, but I'm LOVING the Science Time With Dr Pine AU! Seriously, it's so silly and yet so cute, and the way you describe some of the plot points are hilarious

I was thinking about what you said about 80s shows being heavily censored and I imagined that, at some point, some Fox Channel type network would try shit talking the show because it doesn't teach "the right stuff" and is "indoctrinating our kids" (same narrative as today, sadly). They manage to contact Ford since he's an eminence in basically every science imaginable, and they invite him on to talk about the show's "innacuracies". Ford agrees (he's VERY susceptible to flattery, unfortunately) and goes on to discuss the show and some scientific mistakes they make, but the host keeps interrupting him and twisting his words so it looks like he agrees with their conservative views.

After the ad break, Ford's demeanor has completely changed. He's no longer nervous or uncomfortable, and he isn't hiding his hands anymore. He might loathe that stupid puppet, but NO ONE calls his brother or his efforts stupid.

(Unbeknownst to him, Stan is very much watching the whole thing go down live. He could almost cry with how proud he is of his brother, but he decides maybe a call would be better)

I'm trying to actually write this idea but the inspiration gods are not siding with me too much. Thank you again for this wonderful AU!

Okay. Your MIND. I cannot believe the amount of inspiration this just shot into my brain

For a number of reasons, but heres the thing.

Ford KNOWS that its Stan behind the Dr Pine puppet. He knows this, but because he's A, not that much of an asshole, and B, not willing to publicly admit that the Dr Pine puppet is based on him, Ford shuts all the way up about Dr Pine's real identity.

But Stan? Stan has no idea that Ford knows. This mysterious hate mail he's getting? The idea that its FORD is the furthest thing from his mind.

Ford is asked to come and be a guest on Rooster News (the GF equivalent of Fox News) to talk about this very popular TV show, Poppy Avenue that is getting backlash for its more progressive science points.

Now, Dr Stanford Pines is a very sought after guest. Hes highly educated, and even the producers at Rooster know how to capitalize on the whole Dr Pine vs Dr Pines thing

The people at Poppy Avenue are a little scared to be honest. Having a credible source go on TV and talk about how much their show sucks is going to be a blow. Everyone is concerned

Most of all, STAN IS CONCERNED.

He probably chokes on his lunch when someone at Poppy Studios (we're gonna call it PA for short) talks about this interview thats coming up. Cause like. Thats Stan's BROTHER. HIS TWIN.

Aside from the fact that they are literally identical, Stan fucking BASED HIS SHOW on Stanford and what it was like growing up with someone who loves science. The idea that FORD IS GOING ON TV to shittalk the show Stan is apart of is. Well. Its heartbreaking if Stan is being honest.

He's always been too concerned by what Ford thinks of him. It doesn't matter if Ford DOESN'T KNOW Stan works on PA, it still hurts that his brother doesn't like what he does. Stan vows NOT to watch it, for his own peace, but he cant stop himself from. At least checking in on the interview. He hasn't seen Ford in years anyway, itll just be for a second.

Ford, on the other side, is DELIGHTED that a reputable TV show, a NEWS ORGANIZATION has just asked him to come in and complain about Science Time with Dr Pine. Ford is EXCITED. He brings notes, diagrams and graphs about any and all scientific inconsistencies STwDP has. Ford practiced this, he's got his points MEMORIZED.

The Rooster News people seem to be more focused on the PA show as a whole, so Ford goes through another rewatch to look for anything scientifically off in other episode segments (there's nothing really, just date numbers that are no longer accurate due to the passage of time, but Ford notes them to he thorough. Most of his presentation is on Science Time with Dr Pine, as thats where his indignation comes in)

But. When Ford gets there, gets all set up for the interview and ready in the seat, he realizes almost immediately that the reasons Rooster News has for tearing Poppy Avenue to shreds aren't. Scientifically based.

Rooster News is going after PA because its mainly a charity run organization. Because a significant margin of its writers are women, single mothers or queer people (they wouldn't say Queer in the way we use the term now, this was the 80s) Rooster News complains that Poppy Avenue has actors and puppeteers from diverse communities, people of color or those with disabilities hired without prejudice.

Even the puppets on the show aren't strictly conformed to socially acceptable identities. Some puppets are implied to have learning differences, some are distinctly made to represent different body types or races, the puppets dont conform to what literally every other kids show on the market looks like.

That Poppy Avenue doesn't uphold "good Christian values" whatever the hell that means.

By the time the show rolls around to include Stanford's points at all, asking him to provide more things "wrong" with the shows messaging from a scientific standpoint, Ford is sitting up very straight, very quietly in his seat.

Stan, watching the live show like hes watching a slow motion plane crash, jolts in his seat as he recognizes that look on his brother's face.

Stanford has very soundly realized that he's been Had.

Rooster News did not ask him to come on to talk about the scientific inaccuracies of Poppy Avenue, they brought him on to be apart of this witch hunt, this intolerant parade of idiotic individuals who believe that anything fun, free and loving to all in the world should be crushed beneath a metal heel.

Ford gets very angry. The Pine's family rage is prolific, after all, and Ford doesn't just take after his father in looks.

Stanford Pines, on Live, international television, tears the news organization a new one.

To say that he yells at them would be incorrect. Stanford is quiet, succinct, and terrifyingly even as he dissects every single thing wrong with what everything the host of Rooster News just said. Ford never trips up, never has to repeat his points, and he thoroughly steamrolls over any attempts made by the show host to stop him.

Ford honestly could have shot the news anchor point blank in the chest with a shotgun on live tv and it would have been less gorey than the viciousness with which he kills Rooster News.

Instead of stripping Poppy Avenue of credibility, Ford promotes it wholeheartedly. He admires, publically, the shows ability to teach children difficult concepts, how well the show inspires empathy, creativity, and the search for knowledge.

He talks about the clear love and care that goes into each episode, the emphasis on making the world a better place. About now important Poppy Avenue is to the kids of that generation, how important and good it is to show children examples of every person they could meet in life, how everyone is different but still, undoubtedly worthy and worthy of respect.

(Ford soundly implies that each and every person, ESPECIALLY the people at Rooster news, have something to learn from Poppy Avenue, in regards to how they conduct themselves)

By the time Ford even gets back around to Science Time with Dr Pine, the rage under his skin has solidified into a sense of guilt. He knows he jumped on this opportunity to put down the show, but the idea of doing so now is disgusting.

Ford fully admits that he doesn't like Science Time with Dr Pine. But he emphasizes that all of his negative feelings about that segment are

Soley

Wholeheartedly

Focused on the fact that Ford doesn't like the fucking puppet. Literally everything else about that show is great.

He explains that he knows how much the interest in science can mean to someone, and the fact that the segment handles science, and lots of other concepts in such a great way is so good.

Ford says, and he looks into the camera for this bit, nothing but pure fondness leaks through into his voice as he says on LIVE TV, "If there was a show like Science Time with Dr Pine when i was a kid, I'm sure that I would have been its biggest fan."

(Stan, still watching this interview, actually bursts into tears.)

Stanford closes out the interview himself, mainly because the news anchor seems to have swallowed his tongue (his producers are screaming at him through his ear piece and have been for an hour) and Ford does so with the grace and humility that he conducts himself with on a day to day basis

That is, he tells the news anchor and Rooster News as a whole to kiss his Jewish ass, and to never contact him again.

The people at Poppy Avenue Studios are in awe. Fords interview is prolific, and it doesn't just become incredibly popular, with other News organizations picking up on that story (Including Gravity Falls News) but the interview sparks THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, almost overnight, to start watching Poppy Avenue.

The show hits the top of every chart and stays there, funding pouring in faster than anyone knows what to do with, people have nothing but good to say about the show.

(Rooster News TANKS in its ratings, and falls like a stone to bottom of anyone's minds. Eventually their timeslots get bought out by other news organizations with less of an inclination to ever even LOOK at Poppy Avenue again)

And when Poppy Avenue reaches out to Stanford Pines, offering him a chance to come onto the show himself, to actually talk about scientific discoveries, for real this time, Ford finds that he is overjoyed to say yes.

Although he does make a point to add that if he has to exist in the same room as the Dr Pine puppet, he cannot be held responsible for his actions of violence towards it.

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I don't know how, when or why Stanley would bring the Dr Pine puppet to the pool but I couldn't just not draw this once the idea came to me

I'm sorry but Ford SHAKING with the same amount of rage as Stanley in this scene is so fucking ridiculous to me I couldnt resist

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I don't know how, when or why Stanley would bring the Dr Pine puppet to the pool but I couldn't just not draw this once the idea came to me

I'm sorry but Ford SHAKING with the same amount of rage as Stanley in this scene is so fucking ridiculous to me I couldnt resist

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not me speedrunning to finish this drawing for ch 7 before @matcha-milkies posts a new chapter. definitely not me haha

i wanted to do something similar to a chapter cover, idk i just think those look neat. ironic how its probably hard to read the actual chapter name in the image lol

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"They said I'm unlovable. And i believe that."