xellnikov

[xellnikov]

[xellnikov]

[xellnikov]

the vision after your prayer. that's what i am

[xellnikov]

great! now do the same medical study with women

[xellnikov]

"i unfollow if our media interests no longer align" I still follow moots haven't spoken to in years and have learned the entire story of deltarune, mouthwashing, that one ninjago lego show, continuations of media I havent been into since 2018 and many others. I don't need a summary of something I just need Mutual to be insane about it on my dash

[xellnikov]

it's only a few days until my birthday. now stuck in a depressive episode after crashing with the highest mania i ever had/the highest i remember. i'm constantely craving something to dull everything. all the songs i forgot i ever listened to blasting full volume in my pitch black room. random memory leaks from days ago haunt me because i forgot them again. i can't remember a large portion of my life. patterns start to repeat again. sometimes when im high and laying in bed with my friend i gain consciousness and remember not wanting to be alive at this age and not belonging here, not even remembering meeting her. wanting to rip away my illness and not wanting to heal anytime soon. i can't remember hating myself but i also don't know loving me. i look in the mirror drunk and can't realize that this is supposed to be me in the mirror. something else is staring back.

[xellnikov]

Die Watschnbäume wachsen dieses Jahr ur gut.

[xellnikov]

[xellnikov]

i actually feel like i’m about to throw up

[xellnikov]

non-writers will never understand the mental illness of writing an entire conversation in your head while doing dishes and then forgetting every word the second you open a blank doc

[xellnikov]

you can’t even dig up your lovers grave and pry open their casket and cradle their corpse to your chest anymore. because of woke

[xellnikov]

nocturnal experience w visions in front of my eyes

[xellnikov]

my mutuals are so awesome but my conversation skills are much less awesome

[xellnikov]

schizoide truman erfahrung

[xellnikov]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[xellnikov]

at this point my emoji reactions are more of a sign of my reading comprehension than anything else.

[xellnikov]

wie viele ameisen denkt ihr passen in einen menschen hinein