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I hate my brain. This always happens. I find it so hard to feel trust. I want to love so bad. I'm so scared.
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Monday night/Tuesday morning
Surely it's okay to realise I'm changing. I might not be that weak, not that impressible, not that bad at detachment anymore. Maybe I'm still scared. All the time, a little. Maybe I don't mind it. Maybe I love it. Maybe I love you, or you. Maybe I love every person I've ever touched. Maybe I resent myself for it. Surely I don't.
I am 20 and as I live my life I still feel this constant urge, this rush, this impression that I don't have time, that I must worry, not lose any minute, feel as hard as I can, write, taste, smell, crave. Everything.
I want my words to live and most importantly I want a life for myself.
I want so much, and everything is endless.
:)
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