xplicitgrayson

[xplicitgrayson]

Boyfriend Material ❤

[xplicitgrayson]

Major eye contact 🙈

[xplicitgrayson]

to be careful my LOVE

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( can he PLS by my boyfriend??)

[xplicitgrayson]

TW : death/cancer

I gained my angel. He left us yesterday. My chest hurts and all I want to do is cry. He told my family and I that he didnt want to see us cry anymore when he found out about stage 4, he told us he wanted us to be strong, but its so hard. He was like my best friend. I feel numb and this doesnt feel real. I saw him everyday. The last moment that I will cherish forever is my last moment with him. Yesterday, he had been having panick attacks, my mom called me over to give him a massage on his hand bc it hurt and he wanted ice so i fed him some ice. That was like an hour before I watched him leave us with my own eyes. I called 911. My aunt tried CPR, Paramedics tried and tried to resuscitate but nothing. He didnt want to leave. He was scared. He never wanted to be in the room alone bc he was scsred just never told us. He didn't want to leave. When we realized that he had stopped breathing, and my aunt noticed him, a tear rolled down his face. This has been so fucking hard. I miss him so much . I see his picture and it hurts a lot. My chest aches and all I want to do is cry. He was suppose to see my graduate college. He was suppose to see me get married one day. He was suppose to meet my kids. We had just planned to go over to my grandparents house tomorrow bc its my older brother birthday. My brother wont even get the chance to celebrate it with him anymore. This is all fucking hurts.

Hi guys Just watched their doc and it has opened up my eyes. My family has dealt with cancer in the past. My grandma had breast cancer twice. She was able to fight through it both times. She is stronger than ever now even still with false scares of it returning

Now her husband. The only grandpa I have ever known, just last week found out that there is a 95% chance of him having a tumor so he may possibly have cancer. Seeing this documentary was really touching and made me so emotional. I never cried this much over a video . It made me think about my situation and those who are going through something serious and terrifying as cancer.

This documentary is going to help so many. I am so proud of the twins. This documentary is also showing how not everything we see online is fully portraying what they really feel. Behind a screen you may see the twins happy and smiling but this doc just proves to you that it's not always the case. With this documentary they are opening about the real and raw emotions they feel . They aren't hiding it from us. I am eternally grateful that they were able to share what they truly feel and what they went through with us fans and viewers. This is going to impact so many people in many postive ways.

So pls guys, I encourage for you guys to see it. They have created their own organization called #LoveFromSean w/ all the money they raise, they are going to be helping MULTIPLE cancer organizations. If you have the chance to even donate a $1 PLS do bc even a $1 makes a difference.

Heres the link to donate ♡

[xplicitgrayson]

Update:

Having the chance of a tumor??? How fucking crazy and u fair is life. How crazy was I for no thinking cancer would EVER be one to affect my grandpa. I posted this in what February?? January??? Idk anymore but now its October and my grandpa is his worst. Over the year he discovered he had surgery, discovered he indeed had Pancreatic Cancer, went through only 2 sessions of radiation, that 2nd session resulted in him having chest pains which resulted in us finding out it was a heart attack, to him having Pneumonia, to him still not starting his chemo, to him having water in his lungs , which made his fatigue and out of breath and having doctors taking out idk how many liters in each lung,to having him be nauseous all the time and rufusing to eat, to him losing 40lbs , to his chemo doctor wanting US his family to decide when we wanted him to start chemo when we are not the doctors, to her refusing services to us bc we told her we weren't doctors, to him AGAIN having water in his lungs and no one knowing why and to us finding out this past Friday, October 9, 2020 that his pancreatic cancer has moved up to his lungs , which is why he is retaining water in the lungs and it has moved from stage 3 to Stage 4 with slight possibility of him not being able to make it through. The chance of him getting treatment is the possibility of only EXTENDING his life. When just at the beginning of last week he could walk from his living room to the bathroom and back but resulted in him being tired to today. He cant even take 2 steps without being out of breath. He is took weak and skinny. When he found this out on Friday. He was the saddest hes ever been. He's devastated and is now telling us all his last wishes bc he thinks he wont be here with us for much longer. We have yet to talk to his doctor to know if he has much longer or if theres any chance of him being cured. But this is the hardest shit i have ever gone through. His family has been going over since Friday to see him. Hes gsthered all his siblings to te them his last wishes and to hug them one last time. My father , wjo has not spoken to my grandpa and who has not step foot to the sidewalk of my grandparents house came over Friday to beg my grandpa for forgiveness. After 6yrs of not speaking he came and got kn his knees and begged my grandpa for forgiveness while crying. Who h in where my grandpa granted him and forgave him telling him he forgave him a long time ago. Ive never hurt so bad. I dont even wang to be alone with him bc of what hebis telling us. His dreams for us. To see my 12 yr old cousin , play soccer professionally in EUROPE one day. To telling me and my older brother that he is not going to be able to meet our kids. I cry and i can't think. He is so sad. He is not the person he was at the beginning of the year. From his ACTUAL BIRTHDAY where he found out he might have cancer to now. He has now lost all hope. And all we can try to do is be strong. Its so fucking hard.

Hi guys Just watched their doc and it has opened up my eyes. My family has dealt with cancer in the past. My grandma had breast cancer twice. She was able to fight through it both times. She is stronger than ever now even still with false scares of it returning

Now her husband. The only grandpa I have ever known, just last week found out that there is a 95% chance of him having a tumor so he may possibly have cancer. Seeing this documentary was really touching and made me so emotional. I never cried this much over a video . It made me think about my situation and those who are going through something serious and terrifying as cancer.

This documentary is going to help so many. I am so proud of the twins. This documentary is also showing how not everything we see online is fully portraying what they really feel. Behind a screen you may see the twins happy and smiling but this doc just proves to you that it's not always the case. With this documentary they are opening about the real and raw emotions they feel . They aren't hiding it from us. I am eternally grateful that they were able to share what they truly feel and what they went through with us fans and viewers. This is going to impact so many people in many postive ways.

So pls guys, I encourage for you guys to see it. They have created their own organization called #LoveFromSean w/ all the money they raise, they are going to be helping MULTIPLE cancer organizations. If you have the chance to even donate a $1 PLS do bc even a $1 makes a difference.

Heres the link to donate ♡

[xplicitgrayson]

Jealous Gray ??? Pls We'd love to see it and 🥵🥵

[xplicitgrayson]

boyfriend E! at breakfast

[xplicitgrayson]

Hi guys Just watched their doc and it has opened up my eyes. My family has dealt with cancer in the past. My grandma had breast cancer twice. She was able to fight through it both times. She is stronger than ever now even still with false scares of it returning

Now her husband. The only grandpa I have ever known, just last week found out that there is a 95% chance of him having a tumor so he may possibly have cancer. Seeing this documentary was really touching and made me so emotional. I never cried this much over a video . It made me think about my situation and those who are going through something serious and terrifying as cancer.

This documentary is going to help so many. I am so proud of the twins. This documentary is also showing how not everything we see online is fully portraying what they really feel. Behind a screen you may see the twins happy and smiling but this doc just proves to you that it's not always the case. With this documentary they are opening about the real and raw emotions they feel . They aren't hiding it from us. I am eternally grateful that they were able to share what they truly feel and what they went through with us fans and viewers. This is going to impact so many people in many postive ways.

So pls guys, I encourage for you guys to see it. They have created their own organization called #LoveFromSean w/ all the money they raise, they are going to be helping MULTIPLE cancer organizations. If you have the chance to even donate a $1 PLS do bc even a $1 makes a difference.

Heres the link to donate ♡

[xplicitgrayson]

[xplicitgrayson]

reputation part five

“Of all places for a clandestine meeting, you’ve outdone yourself, y/l/n.”

He speaks in hushed tones, the rasp of his voice barely hovering above a whisper. They’re alone, save for the man sat behind a seemingly oversized wooden desk, typing softly on his computer. The air feels cold; the high ceiling looming overhead and the rounded curves of the timber framing leave no room for warmth. Books are packed tightly into glass cases, saved from the damaging effects of exposure and time, and yet the room smells like dog-eared pages and temperate paper.

“I figured we wouldn’t be seen,” she shrugs, gazing intently at the brass bust of Shakespeare, her fingers itching to run themselves over the intricate carving of his ruffled collar. “Sadly, the gossip forums don’t think I’m a reader,” Ethan hums, turning to acknowledge the bard. “Yes, that is sad.”

He hasn’t seen her in almost three weeks, not that he’s been counting. It was as if she’d vanished off the surface of the earth the night she had left his apartment in Tribeca. After they had kissed. He knew better than to try and contact her afterwards, he tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach as he came to realise that maybe they would never cross paths again. Y/n had said that she would not let Howard Benson publish her first draft, the article that should have been printed if Ethan Dolan had not read it before it hit newsstands across the city. Y/n y/l/n is a determined woman. Consequently, the ties between them had been cut as quickly as they had been knotted. As their lips left one another’s she’d uttered something along the lines of an apology and hurried to the elevator, avoiding his eyes as the metal doors slid closed.

Ethan had received a text message from her this morning, as her name flashed across the screen of his phone his pulse had picked up its pace and his palms became damp. Y/n wanted to meet him in the library, in room 302 of the Stephen A. Schwarzman Building which he later found out was housing the Berg Collection of English and American Literature. He wants to laugh at how fitting their meeting place is, how well she’d thought this all out, but he’s occupied with the sheer wonder of being in her presence again.

Keep reading

[xplicitgrayson]

reputation part four

There’s something about living in a city that only those with experience can truly understand. Its disquiet is unending, each hour spirals into the next without any time for composure or evaluation. Sensory overload is a regular occurrence; sound and light and smell and feeling all rage into incessant cacophony.   Life never ceases its movement, at least not until an apartment door is slammed shut on the outside world.

Y/n presses her back against the cool wood, closing her eyes and exhaling a sigh of relief. The elevator has been broken for the past month and having to take the stairs is a task that one would assume gets easier with practice. Sadly, that is not the truth. She doesn’t have the energy to take off her coat or her gloves, so she rests against the door as she tries to regain her breath. Her eyes scan the apartment; her dishes are still in the kitchen sink from her rushed breakfast, the faux fur throw hangs off the arm of her velvet sofa in an utterly unattractive manner and the magazines scattered across the coffee table and dog-eared and worn with age. Y/n tips her head backwards allowing a small painless thud from its contact with the stained wood. She doesn’t have the energy to tidy up, the day has extracted every tiny ounce of motivation to achieve or accomplish anything she has.

LIFE Magazine has been buzzing with activity for the past month, y/n, in particular, getting the most attention as a writer. Of course, this is extremely flattering and brilliant for her career, but juggling multiple projects at once has proven to be harder than she’d anticipated. Y/n loves working; it’s what spurs her to roll out of her paisley duvet set every morning, it gives her life structure and she didn’t struggle through four years of college to give up her dream job now. It seems that every journalist on her floor is coming to her for advice, asking her to proofread articles for their website or offer ideas on points they should discuss. Again, this is all very laudatory, considering she’s the youngest published writer the magazine has ever housed, but reading has become tiresome and strenuous rather than enjoyable and writing almost insufferable.

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[xplicitgrayson]

reputation part three

It’s a frosty morning in New York City. The air feels crisp and fresh, in a way that burns your cheeks as blood rushes to their surfaces in an attempt to warm you up. Each windscreen of stagnant cars is opaque with a thin layer of ice, hiding empty coffee cups or opened notebooks on backseats from the night before. Despite the chill, New York couldn’t be more awake. The city moves at its relentless pace; taxi cabs weave through streets, commuters pace the sidewalks with phones pressed to their ears, dog-walkers are out in their force at the early hour. The energy is ceaseless.

Y/n grips her cup of tea tighter in her hand, willing the warmth to seep through the cardboard and into her numbed fingertips. Her nose tingles and with her free hand, she pulls her beanie over her ears. The park bench beneath her is cold so she begins bouncing her thighs up and down to try and generate some warmth. She takes her time to people-watch, observing the clusters of people that pass her and taking in the scenes around her. Even in the heart of Central Park, everyone has a determined sense of direction, only tourists seem to dawdle and take their time immersing themselves in the early light of the day.

It must be about eight thirty by now, rush hour slowly coming to its close. Yet the park is still bustling with life as artists set up their canvases along the perimeters of the footpaths, displaying their oil pastel masterpieces for the public to gawp at. Y/n sips her tea and flicks her wrist so she can check her watch.

“Early bird catches the worm, y/l/n,” she looks up at the sound of his voice. There he stands, a few feet from her, smirking despite being red-faced and breathing heavily. “Nice of you to join me, Mr Dolan,” y/n rakes her eyes up and down his figure, taking in his grey sweatpants and maroon Harvard hoodie. “Figured I’d get a run in before our meeting,” he takes a few steps forward and then flops onto the bench beside her, “please call me Ethan, this isn’t formal.” “Any meeting with you is formal, Mr Dolan.”

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reputation part two

“Here’s to y/n, New York’s new Carrie Bradshaw!” “To y/n!” the three young women chorus, clinking their frosted glasses together. Y/n flushes and bows her head graciously, mumbling a thank you to her friends. They sip on their cocktails, humming in delight at the syrupy sweetness. “Let’s be honest, I’m not quite Carrie,” she laughs. “No! You’re a proper journalist, a fully-fledged writing powerhouse!” Lily, her oldest and closest friend cheers, placing a palm on y/n’s bare shoulder and giving it a slight shake. “Totally! I’m so proud of you,” says Charlotte, her grin dazzling. “As am I,” Diana chimes in, “I keep telling everyone I meet that I’m friends with the y/n y/l/n!”

The bar they’ve chosen for their celebratory drinks is one of the fanciest in town. Lily had reserved them a booth at Delevigne’s as soon as y/n had called to let her know that the article is now LIFE Magazine’s most read. Y/n couldn’t quite believe it then and she’s having a little trouble comprehending it now. Her last-minute waffle about the award-winning manipulator that is Ethan Dolan is the magazine’s most famous article. 26 million reads within the first twenty-four hours of publication, including online readers of course. It’s astounding, unfathomable and the figures have only climbed, it’s been a week since it hit the press and it seems to be getting more popular by the second. It makes her wonder if the response would be the same if they’d printed her original piece. The world does love a scandal, anything juicy and shocking is bound to attract some attention. New York doesn’t seem to like praise, as far as she’s concerned, but this is definitely an exception.

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[xplicitgrayson]

reputation

Y/n writes something that Ethan doesn’t like

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“This is preposterous! Totally and utterly absurd! It’s almost laughable!” “Mr Dolan, I’m terribly sorry-” “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Howard! This is my entire reputation we’re talking about here. This is slander!” “Again, Mr Dolan, if there’s anything I can do-” “Don’t publish the damn article, Howard!”

Ethan Dolan slams a tight fist onto the desk in front of him before pushing himself out of the worn leather chair. He grunts in frustration when his eyes meet his brother’s, sending him a look of warning. Rage pulses through him; he feels his forehead pound with stress. Ethan likes to think he’s untouchable, but this article might just be his downfall.

“I’m afraid, Mr Dolan, that the decision of whether or not the article should be published lies in the hands of its author,” Howard Benson, editor in chief of LIFE Magazine says calmly. Ethan takes a deep breath and walks past his brother towards the floor length window of the office, his eyes scanning the skyscrapers and seemingly tiny reflective pieces of glass. He chuckles in incredulity, knowing that if push comes to shove he could end the publication entirely. But he doesn’t want to destroy them just yet. “Forgive me, Howard, but aren’t you in charge of the final draft of the magazine? Surely this is all under your control?” “I wish I could do something about it, Mr Dolan. LIFE Magazine puts all responsibility in the hands of our journalists, that’s what makes us so unique.”

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[xplicitgrayson]

reputation

Y/n writes something that Ethan doesn’t like

—-

“This is preposterous! Totally and utterly absurd! It’s almost laughable!” “Mr Dolan, I’m terribly sorry-” “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Howard! This is my entire reputation we’re talking about here. This is slander!” “Again, Mr Dolan, if there’s anything I can do-” “Don’t publish the damn article, Howard!”

Ethan Dolan slams a tight fist onto the desk in front of him before pushing himself out of the worn leather chair. He grunts in frustration when his eyes meet his brother’s, sending him a look of warning. Rage pulses through him; he feels his forehead pound with stress. Ethan likes to think he’s untouchable, but this article might just be his downfall.

“I’m afraid, Mr Dolan, that the decision of whether or not the article should be published lies in the hands of its author,” Howard Benson, editor in chief of LIFE Magazine says calmly. Ethan takes a deep breath and walks past his brother towards the floor length window of the office, his eyes scanning the skyscrapers and seemingly tiny reflective pieces of glass. He chuckles in incredulity, knowing that if push comes to shove he could end the publication entirely. But he doesn’t want to destroy them just yet. “Forgive me, Howard, but aren’t you in charge of the final draft of the magazine? Surely this is all under your control?” “I wish I could do something about it, Mr Dolan. LIFE Magazine puts all responsibility in the hands of our journalists, that’s what makes us so unique.”

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[xplicitgrayson]

to be young and in love

[xplicitgrayson]

things that my owns my ass - Grayson Fucking Dolan.