yallternitive

[yallternitive]

Kerosene

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: physical, emotional abuse from a past relationship. If this triggers you, read at your own risk.

Summary: Your work for freshman congressman Bucky Barnes as his secretary. You’ve always kept to yourself, to the degree of making Mr. Barnes suspicious.

Work had started like any old day. Grabbed your coffee at the local coffee shop just down the street from your bosses office. While there, you picked up one for him too, though he never asked for one, he always appreciated it. Today they also had a new plum blueberry pastry they were trying out, so you bought two of those. One for you, one for your him.

It was a quiet morning, but that never stopped you from looking over your shoulder, you could never be too careful.

Making your way into your office, you were early. Lights still off and window blinds still drawn shut. You flicked on all the lights and opened the blinds, it was partly cloudy with a 50% chance of rain. You almost hoped it did.

“You’re early today, (Y/N).” You nearly jump out of your definitelytootall stilettos, turning to look at the one responsible for scaring the wits out of you. So much for always looking over your shoulder.

“Mr. Barnes! You nearly made me spill my coffee!” He just smiles softly, walking up to take both cups from you and placing them on the table.

“Good thing yours was cold then.” You just roll your eyes. “And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Bucky.” You hold your hands up in surrender.

“Sorry, Bucky. Never had a superior tell me to call them their government name let alone a nickname.” You smile softly while making eye contact.

“I understand, but don’t call me your superior. Makes me feel gross….and old.” He takes a seat at his desk and takes a sip of his coffee, noticing the pastry placed neatly on his desk, something you had managed to do before he scared the crap out of you. “What’s this?” He asks, looking at it like it might be poison. You chuckle and take a bite of yours.

“I got it for you today at the coffee shop. It was something new they were trying and I thought it both looked and smelled delicious. Plum and blueberry. I hope they add it to their permanent menu.” He raises an eyebrow and takes a decent bite out of it. His eyes nearly roll into the back of his head.

“I’m not usually one for sweets, but this is delicious.” He takes another bite before a sip of his coffee. “Thank you, (Y/N). You always know how to take care of me. Truly I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He smiles and you just laugh.

“Probably starve.” He shakes his head with a smirk.

“I know how to eat when I’m hungry.”

“Right, not like you haven’t been hungry for 8 hours at that point, cranky and blood sugar plummeting, old man.” The way he looks at you has you slightly concerned you’ve gone too far. You’ve worked with Bucky for a year now and have always had sweet playful banter back and forth. Every time you think you go too far he always makes you laugh.

“Damn, doll. Sounds like you didn’t just wake up on the wrong side of the bed you plum fell off of it.” You roll your eyes and just laugh.

“I’m kidding I’m kidding. We have a big day today, quite a few meetings and hearings happening in the next few days.” He sits at his desk and sighs, very much looking like he doesn’t even know where to begin. He usually didn’t, but that’s what he has a secretary for. You always kept him on track.

***

A few days had passed.

To say you were afraid to leave the house would be an understatement.

You’d left home in Louisiana about a year and a half ago, the only place that seemed safe enough to go at that moment was DC, you had family there but unfortunately you should have known that would have been the first place he would have looked. You started looking for a place to work, hoping for a place that would be able to help you should you ever need it. A “shoot first ask questions later” type of place. Police department, fire station, anything to make him question if you were even worth it anymore.

You settled for a government building, but you could have never had guess just how lucky you’d get. To work with the one and only Winter Soldier. An Avenger in his own right. You knew you’d have to tell him someday. You just hoped it would be because many years had passed and you didn’t fear for your safety anymore. You never wanted it to be because you were in danger.

“Doll?”

You nearly jump out of your skin, after having been frantically pressing the ‘up’ on the elevator button repeatedly. You knew immediately it was Bucky, no one ever called you ‘doll’ before, it was only ever him. And it seemed to be a nickname he reserved only for you.

You adjusted your sunglasses, pressing them tight against your nose.

“Oh-Bu-Bucky. You scared me.” You chuckled nervously, looking down.

That wasn’t you. No quick retort. No sly roll of the eye. Not that adorable side smirk he lived for, secretly of course.

Bucky’s face drops. His position becomes erect. His eyes sharpen, you swear he just grew about 2 inches in height.

“What’s wrong?” He asks intensely, staring down into your soul you know you couldn’t lie to him if you tried.

“I-I’m scared.” You whimper, just as the elevator door behind you dings. Bucky reaches out and gently places his hands on your shoulders, walking you backwards and stepping into the elevator himself. He pressed the button ‘5’ without even turning look at the wall, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Tell me what happened. Who did this to you.” His breath smells like mint and tobacco, it’s a comforting element.

“Bucky I…I ran away from home. My fiancé…he, he used to abuse me. I-I couldn’t take it anymore. He was gonna kill me. I-I left and came to the only place I could think of. My-my aunt and cousins live here and I-i didn’t even think that he’d look here first and I-I’m I’m so stupid I should have kno-“

“Shhh doll. Hey. Come on now. Don’t say that. You are not stupid. You are never stupid. You did it. You got out. You found me. I will never. NEVER let anyone lay their hand on you again. I swear to you. I will protect you.” He cups your face and lets you fall into him, sobbing uncontrollably.

“It’s alright Doll, hey sweetheart you’re alright. I’m here. We’ll get you sorted out. You can come live with me until you are safe. I promise.”

You have Bucky everything he’d need to find your ex, also named James.

“Of course he is.” He rolls his eyes.

“You’re Bucky. I’ve never looked at you and saw him. Your name doesn’t scare me.” He smiles and tucks your hair behind your ear.

“I will spend my life protecting you.”

You knew this was going to be an interesting period of time, from coworkers to roommates. You knew James only had to show himself, and it wouldn’t take him long to reappear.

***

This will be a multi part series!

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Backstabber PT. 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Synopsis: Bucky and Yelena kiss while on a mission. You may have overreacted to the news.

Takes place during Thunderbolts, no spoilers so you’re safe.

Small angst, minorly depressing backstory, suggestive humor and fluff.

I may rewrite this chapter with more depth and clarity, admittedly I do this in my free time and I don’t have much of that. I’m a wife with 3 kids but this is fun for me to do!

If your brain didn’t prevent you from feeling every single heartbeat in your chest, you’d very likely go insane. For some reason, your brain decided to show you how…painful, a beating heart could be. It pounded against your chest. Suddenly you forgot how to breathe.

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask, panting, and at this point you’re unsure if it’s from the training or the news that just knocked the wind out of you.

“Uh, yeah…I’m sorry man but it’s killing me that no one has told you. I’m not sure why this is a secret. Bucky and Yelena kissed. On their mission. I know it was for-for a reason? I guess you could say. It didn’t mean anything. But that’s not the problem. The problem is they didn’t tell you. But…somehow we all know.” You nod, hands on your hips as you clear your throat. Your chest feels so heavy, like an anchor you’re trying so desperately to outswim before it pulls you down.

“Right. If they have nothing to hide, I don’t see why they wouldn’t have told me. Do they know you’re telling me now?” You ask, taking a sip from your water, trying not to cry even though your eyes are stinging, just on the brink of defeat.

“No, no I don’t think so. If it wasn’t gonna be me it would have been Bob. He’s…distressed, you could say.” You nod, wiping your hand down your face.

“I knew it. I knew you were all acting strange. Bucky just told me I was paranoid.” John chuckles, shaking his head.

“Unless he genuinely doesn’t think he did anything wrong.”

“What about Yelena?” He shakes his head.

“Haven’t really talked to her. She clearly isn’t bothered. Probably not the first time she’s had to get close with a coworker on the job. I truly don’t think they think anything of it. Just another day at work. Well, if it’s another day at work, why can’t you know about it?” You nod, pacing back and forth and point at him.

“Bring them here. Training session.” You put your attention back to the punching bag, letting your thought run wild. Everything that lead you here. How you met Bucky. The Thunderbolts.

You were the only success from years and years of hydras attempt to make a natural born super soldier. Both your parents were subjects to receive, at the time, the highest grade Super Soldier Serum. Your father a mad scientist, not a fighter by any means. But his body accepted the serum. Your mother, you never knew her name. She was killed a year after you were born, only kept around long enough to breastfeed you. Your father said she was nobody. You could only imagine what she went through. You didn’t know her name, but you gave her enough respect to call her your mother. You thought, you were a disgrace. A failure. No super powers. Not special by your father’s standards. First, you were a girl. And as a scientist, at least he understood that was his fault and not your mother’s. You quickly discovered as a young teenager you had a photographic memory. You could also see what your opponent would do before they themselves even knew. You always had the upper hand. You weren’t super strong, you weren’t super fast or resilient. You had natural gifts likely due to the serum your parents each had, but you were still a failure. A failure.

“-N)!” You snap out it it, turning to look at Bucky who was trying to pull you out of the trance you had found yourself in.

“Doll, are you alright? What-what’s going on?” He asks, looking down at you with such concern. His hands wipe away the tears that were spilling over your cheeks. You shake your head and push him away.

“Fight me Barnes” he steps back and holds his hands up. “Whoa what, come on. I’m not going to fight you. Not when you’re in such an emotional state. What’s going on?” You toss a knife in his direction and he turns his head, catching it.

“(Y/N). Come on.” His eyes become focused and serious. “I don’t know what the deal is, but we can talk about this.” You charged him and launched your knee into his chest. He just took it, stumbling back. He turns to look at John. “What did you do?” He asks and John just laughs and holds his hands up.

“Only what you should have done when you got home.” Bucky’s eyes soften and he sighs, looking down and you.

“Doll. Please.” You push him away. “We were about to be made. Things would have gotten much worse had they seen us. It didn’t mean anything.” You laugh, shaking your head.

“You think I don’t know that, James? You seriously think I’m mad BECAUSE you kissed? Of course not! I’d make out with John if it meant we left our mission with our lives! I’m MAD because you didn’t tell me! And on top of didn’t tell me, literally everyone else knew EXCEPT me, how does that happen, Bucky?!” He gulps, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N) truthfully I don’t know how anyone else knows. We weren’t going to say anything. As far as we were concerned it never happened. Had I known everyone else knew I’d have gone out of my way to make sure you heard it from me before anyone else.” He sighs, hands on his hips and looking over at John. “How did you know? Who told you?”

“Bob.”

“Uh huh. And who told Bob.” We all look at each other.

“Val.” We all say in unison and roll our eyes. “She has eyes everywhere.” You look at Bucky and sigh.

“I’m still mad.” You smirk and he chuckles.

“If you still wanna spar, you can let that anger out on me. I’d never win anyway.” He shrugs. You laugh.

“I can think of a different way I’d like to let my anger out.” You smirk.

“Yuck. I’m out. Good luck with that.” John leaves, you can feel the cringe leave his body as he exits.

“I’m gonna kill Val.”

“Get in line, Doll.”

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[yallternitive]

Backstabber.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Synopsis: You’re dating the infamous Winter Soldier. Bucky and Yelena go on a mission, to save themselves from being made, Bucky kisses Yelena. Everyone knows, except you…

Just some fluff and angst. Not in that order.

Takes place during Thunderbolts. I don’t believe there are any spoilers? Let me know if you see any.

Everyone had been acting…strange. More so than usual. Alexei even was quieter than usual. When you were around, he’d stop laughing about whatever he was talking about and start sweating bullets.

Bobs Adam’s apple was more prominent than usual due to how often he was gulping while looking at you.

Walker was clearing his throat a lot more than usual, adjusting his uniform as if it were a tie, choking him out.

Ava just grinning ear to ear.

What was going on? Buck and Yelena were acting like their normal selves. They had just gotten back from a mission yesterday, and everything seemed fine until you reunited with the rest of the team today.

“Is everyone alright? You all look like you’ve seen a ghost. No pun intended.” You point to Ava and she just smiles.

“Good one.” She says with a grin.

Alexei stumbled over his words, waving his hands around a little too animated like.

“Da! Everything is fine don’t you know silly girl? Why why would you think there is something wrong? No one would be hiding anything from you no no no why would you think somethi—oof” He is quickly cut off by Bob elbowing him.

You look up at Bucky, having just walked into the room with him, his hand gently placed around your waist. He shrugs, clearly not at all surprised by Alexeis response. Bob clears his throat.

“N-nothing (Y/N), don’t worry about it. Just…you know how it is. Right?” He asks shrugging and you just roll your eyes, gently pulling yourself from your super strong boyfriend and heading to sit next to Yelena who has her feet propped up on the coffee table, watching the news. Yelena too seems entirely unbothered.

Soon enough everyone walks out, but you can’t shake that feeling they know something you don’t. Bucky comes to sit next to you, a cup of coffee in his hand. He offers it to you before taking his spot.

“Bucky, I can’t shake this feeling. We’re trained assassins, you can’t tell me you don’t feel the tension. And why is it directed at me?” He raises his eyebrow and shrugs.

“Possible you’re just being paranoid?” He asks before taking a sip of his piping hot cup.

“I mean I guess that’s possible but I was hoping you’d have some answers because I’m definitely not.” You chuckled and he just smirked, looking down at you with admiration in his eyes. Like you were the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. The one person he’d rather die then lose. He leans in, cupping your cheek with his flesh hand, taking his sweet time, like he’d forgotten every time his lips had ever met yours before. Fireworks were always welcome, your face flush, your stomach on fire. You never got used to it.

“I love you, doll.” You can’t help but let the feelings of paranoia go, looking at him. He calmed your soul. Somewhere so deep inside of you that no one could ever heal, Bucky could. Because that same, deep soul crushing hurt that plagued you also tortured him, and only you could calm the storms in his heart. You were quite literally designed for each other.

“I love you too Bucky.”

Several hours had passed, Walker had found you training alone.

“Hey uh…(Y/N)…can we talk about…something?” He asks, waving his hand around like he does when he has something on his mind.

You, sweating and breathing heavily, nod and sit on the mat.

“Sure, what’s bothering you Walker?” He walks in and sits on the stool a few feet in front of you.

“Damn it. This isn’t gonna be easy, and I know it isn’t my place, if you don’t hate me after this everyone else will. But I guess that makes me the perfect one for the job because what else is new?” He chuckles, shaking his head. You raise your eyebrow and nod.

“Okay, go on John.”

“Bucky and Yelena kissed.”

******

AUTHORS NOTE;

It’s late, my husband just got home from work and I’m tired. I will write part 2 to this tomorrow, in the mean time, let me know what you think. Enjoy that cliffhanger 😉

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Credit: IG-@ blackthorn_la

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Maila Nurmi aka Vampira in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

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reblog this if your blog is a safe space for poc

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