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Video of Tama

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It's 2020 and I got nothing better to bet on

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and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

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teef

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reblog to receive $10000  

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Happy Halloween!! Eat lots of candy and stuff!!!

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There is more...

When I tell you I screamed, I actually screamed 😭😭😭

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Namazus

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the namazu so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON THE PLANET but I seriously fucking hate them. THE WALKING FISH FUCKS (OR NAMAZU) They are the world’s largest walking fish, weighing up to 50 ponzes. And since they have ridicilous girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking fish cylinders that the Gods must have accidentally dropped while playing bowling one day and shrugged their shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY PONZE OF THAT IS A WASTED PONZE AND EVERY FULM OF IT (3 FM BY 1 FM) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scholars even debate about how they live. They have little control other than some minor wiggling of their limbs. Some say they must just push air out of their asses for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW LARGE ENOUGH. It just stops growing, so this piece of walking garbage just has a useless appendage.

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the world or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE FATTEST MOST BARREL LOOKING FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this world that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scholars have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn barrel of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

“If they have legs, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a hyur. And in the seventh umbral era it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a lalafell. Luckily Nanamo sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking round, it has to eat a tonze of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it framed for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said painting) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that the Gods have abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Namazu. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

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Yes. Good.

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pipe wrench mousey 🐭🔧

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🌇

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Absolute Unit

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My Agent Black cosplay in full action! 

Some canon poses and silly poses included.

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Y’shtola from Final Fantasy XIV

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I was there. It was very yes. Very good.

My friends built a hackerspace for a larp :D

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Sounds like a load of horseshite.