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Gotham does a Batman lookalike contest and there's no way the Batkids don't participate along with like, half of Gotham. It is simultaneously their boon and bane

Dick, staring at a Batman suit Tim brought him: What am I supposed to do with that?

Tim, in an identical batsuit: There's a batman lookalike contest in crime alley! We have to participate.

Dick, now staring at the suit in disgust: Wear that? Again? I'd Much Rather Die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, in another batsuit, staring in the mirror, close to crashing out: Why do I actually look like him?

Damian, in an identical, smaller batsuit: It is because you are nearly the same height and weight as Father.

Jason, immediately tearing the arms off the suit so it looks like a tank top: There. That's better.

Damian: It is not.

Duke, in an identical suit with gold highlights, now covering Damian's ears: You look like Batbabe the stripper

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephanie, in her robin suit, standing beside cass, who's in a batman suit: We'll win easy

Duke: You realize it's a batman lookalike competition, right?

Steph: There is no batman without robin, duh

Dick:... you're the only fucker in this family I respect

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: This is incredibly irresponsible of all of you. This could give away major clues that we are-

Duke: Don't you wanna look at your kids cosplaying you, without the danger and responsibilities?

Bruce:

Bruce: Carry on

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Cass, holding the 20$ prize money she got from winning third place:

Dick, grudgingly holding the 40$ he got for second place, glaring at Bruce:

Tim: Wait, if even Dick's second, who the hell won first?

Clark, holding 100$ and a 'Batman forreal!' certificate: Hi Guys

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Batman dog owner vs Superman cat owner

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They’re fighting over custody 😔

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after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

[ID: A fancomic featuring Batman and Superman in a diner. Superman sips coffee while saying, "You know... I DO show off sometimes, only to impress you." Batman looks shocked before he narrows his eyes at Superman. "Impress... me?" Superman smiles, says "Mhm," and takes a long sip. Batman, frowning: "You're Superman." Superman throws up his hands and replies, "RIGHT? It shouldn't be this hard. Why are you making this so difficult?" End ID] described by @nebulations

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Every tender shrimp needs a soft space to recuperate, amiright?

tho having an alien being your blanket might not be so good sometimes

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Clark: "Hey, B, are you okay, you look a little--"

Bruce: "What ever you are about to say, don't say it."

Clark: "Why?"

Bruce, in a whisper: "Because Dick has taken it upon himself to impress me with backflips should I appear upset."

Clark: "And this is a problem because?"

Bruce, still whispering: "Because whilst in all other ways he is a gifted acrobat, every time he does a backflip, without fail, he falls on his face and fighting back the urge to laugh everytime is starting to wear on me."

Clark: "Aww, Bruce. Sounds like he messes up on purpose to try and make you laugh, 'cause I've seen him do backflips lots of times."

Bruce: "Oh..."

---

Bruce, later as he tucks Dick into bed: "If you really want to make me laugh, you should do that thing where you jump onto Clark..."

---

Dick, the next morning leaping from the chandelier: "SKY ATTACK."

Clark, scrambling to catch him: "Jesus, Dick!"

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bruce finds out that he owns 20 acres of land in upstate new york but doesn't remember buying it. he's had a lot of hits to the head ok? upon investigation he finds that a crew has been hired to build barns? fencing? coops? stables? did he buy clark a new farm?

he goes to check it out and when he gets there he finds his oldest and youngest sons both there. dick is talking with people and damian is "testing the integrity" (kicking and shaking) of the fences

turns out damian wanted a sanctuary for abused farm animals and dick thought it was a wonderful idea. they go up there whenever they're free and bruce has never noticed until now

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Gotham Gazette: Reporter Clark Kent spotted wearing t-shirt stating “I fucked him before he was a himbo”

Gotham Gazette a few days later: BREAKING NEWS: Red Hood has issued several death threats against Clark Kent

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Superbat

Bruce: your disguise is a pair of glasses?

Clark: yours is being stupid?

Superbat identity porn my beloved

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doors exist and someday batman will learn to use them but today is not that day 🙂‍↔️

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He’s really committed to the whole “bat” thing

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Superbat

me: I ship them

friend: oh like romantically?

me: no. like cursed object passed between hands for centuries, they are cosmically linked, probably bonded by blood ritual, I think they’ve fought in a war together in at least three lifetimes, and their souls make direct eye contact every time they breathe in the same room

friend: so… romantically?

me: yeah. like. with kissing.

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Superbat

"go ask your dad" infinite loop

was thinking about them today (when am i not) and decided to draw them

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Superbat

stupid textpost sketches

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Clark Forgets He’s Not On a Farm

He calls Batman “darlin’” on a League call. Diana chokes on her coffee.

Bruce doesn’t react.

Thirty minutes later, he shows up at the Kent apartment with zero explanation and says, “Say it again.”

Clark: “…What?”

Bruce: “You know what.”

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By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families

Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh

Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am

Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist

Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!

Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:

Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?

Bruce: Yes

Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(

Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?

Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:

Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.

Jason:...no

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Superman #76 - “The Mightiest Team in the World” (1952)

written by Edmond Hamilton art by Curt Swan, Stan Kaye, & John Fischetti