yourinnertroll

[yourinnertroll]

A while back, I was scrolling through the YouTube comment section when I noticed someone doing their best to defend slavery in the United States. Usually I wouldn't bother with these kinds of people, but the way he was talking really triggered something in me. For a while, me and one of my friends went back and forth with this guy until it became very clear this man had some sort of superiority complex and was spouting things along the lines of "Look, the kid stopped responding! So ignorant!" So, after he went off insulting me and my friend, I just said, "If only your wife could love you as much as you love typing absolute bullshit on your keyboard." It took a while for him to respond again, but when he did, he said something along the lines of, "I don't need anyone to love me, I have myself, and facts!" It was at this point that I was starting to think this guy was a troll, and I investigated his YouTube channel. Essentially, he uploaded videos of himself playing chess against historical figures, which was just a playing against a bot he slapped the picture of Benjamin Franklin over. Despite all of the horrible comments he made, I felt kind of bad for what I said, because this guy was clearly a very lonely grown man, but then I reminded myself that his attitude had definitely put him in this situation in his life. Either way, I didn't really enjoy any of the debate, and have never engaged in an anonymous online debate since.

[yourinnertroll]

Thoughts on Lanier

When individuals think of trolls their minds immediately go to those cute little toys that have been around since the 1960’s with assorted colors combed up hairs, many different appealing outfits, and adorable faces. These toys were known as good luck and were collected for years made by a craftsman named Thomas Dan. Unfortunately, as time moved on into the 21st century, the word troll turned more into a negative than a positive for many in the new social media created world. It was a word that had now been created for social media users intentionally or unintentionally to be an asshole.

As we read more in to the chapter “Social Media is Making you into an asshole” Lanier feels that even though some platforms have nice people, the assholes give the platforms more flavor and trample over the nice people and are even waiting right outside so the nice crowd of people can feel the pressure. (47)

One of the stories on this Tumblr states that the individual was trying to use their platform for positive reinforcement and even so it turned out to be something that still ended terribly. This person was being forced to be an unintentional asshole on a social media platform. Unfortunately, they had to watch the ones they were trying to assist from the outside spiral down because the audience did not understand what the individual's intentions were. Unless worded perfectly people will go on with their own opinions and will have trouble distinguishing what is and what is not when something is set upon their minds and it cannot be changed.

Even though an individual could mean well a misunderstanding is bound to happen if the other person already has it set in their minds what they want to believe. Even if it makes someone else out to be the bad guy. This goes on with social media daily, simple words of encouragement given out to someone could be flipped into someone saying the person is being sarcastic because they do not believe in themselves. I agree with Lanier, it is always possible for some asshole to apply pressure unnecessarily even so they could be the person you are trying to encourage.

Kozicka, Patricia, Global News, Lifestyle, “ Is social media turning us into insincere jerks?” https://globalnews.ca/news/2033988/is-social-media-turning-us-into-insincere-jerks/ , Posted 3, June, 2015.

This article relates to social media impacting users' minds so much that they can’t even accept a simple compliment from someone or encouragement without it having to be more than what it needs to be. Instead of a person just enjoying themselves and one like, things are now being forced to be more likes, more comments, more “oh he/she may like me?, more am I beautiful/handsome enough?, or why am I not good enough? Forcing unnecessary issues with others and self to be looked upon as assholes.

[yourinnertroll]

The inevitable asshole-ification of normal people through online anonymity

In Jaron Lanier’s essay Social Media is Turning You Into an Asshole, Lanier discusses his idea that inside every regular person is an “inner troll.” Lanier writes that in the past, it was easier to discern when your inner troll came through rather than your regular persona, presumably a reasonable person with kindness and empathy. But with the advent of social media, and the newfound accessibility of anonymity that these websites provide, we are able to post, message, and otherwise plague others with our thoughts with relatively little filter. There is little thought put into something before hitting publish, and behind a screen and a username it is remarkably difficult to view those on the receiving end as a human person, just as feeling and complex as yourself. 

In The Ungovernability of Digital Hate Culture, Bharath Ganesh writes of their research on extreme right-wing forums. Ideas in these forums such as “taking the Red Pill” and discussions of genocide are ones that present themself after groups of people fester in spirals of confirmation from others who share the same beliefs. There is a level of hate in online spaces like this that transcends the ‘inner troll,’ and is a living testament to the degree of lawlessness that develops with the abuse of anonymity. 

Behind every post spouting extremist ideas online, there is a living person who has a family, a life lived with as much detail as your own, a job, or a school they attend. The part of themself that enters anonymous hate spaces online is not the same part that you might meet in the street. Far more dangerous than an “inner troll” that lives inside of people who sometimes post passive aggressive instagram comments, one must beware of what that inner monster could be nurtured into. This is the true danger of online spaces: the absolute worst parts of people being propagated into foul and hateful beasts. 

Ganesh, Bharath. “THE UNGOVERNABILITY OF DIGITAL HATE CULTURE.” Journal of International Affairs, vol. 71, no. 2, Journal of International Affairs Editorial Board, 2018, pp. 30–49, https://www.jstor.org/stable/26552328.

[yourinnertroll]

I probably ruined someone’s school binder

When I was in middle school, my best friend and I spent a lot of time on pinterest. I have never really been the type of person to actually comment on posts, but I remember seeing a post someone made on that site years ago  essentially announcing that whatever anyone commented on the post, OP would write that comment on their school binder for the upcoming school year. Being shithead tweens that we were, my friend and I saw this post with absolutely no comments and decided to “troll” this person who was already at our whims of writing essentially whatever we wanted on their binder. 

Well, long story short, my friend and I pretended to get into a huge fight in the comment section of this pin. Like, name calling, friendship ending, knock-down-drag-out fight. It was all fake, and I remember at the time thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Imagining some poor person I didn’t even know writing all that all over their school supplies was so tickling, but looking back, there’s honestly no chance they really did end up writing all of that. It was a pretty shitty thing to do, and something I never would have felt comfortable doing if not for the anonymity the internet provides. 

[yourinnertroll]

Entangled

I was just trying to enjoy my new found security in myself on the new social platform i discovered (Instagram). Taking pictures finding my angles, feeling great about myself, not really caring about likes or comments, followers, they were coming but whatever. As time went on a young lady that I could care less about decided she wanted to call me out on her Instagram page and because she was very popular the pressure of all eyes started to pile upon me. Supposedly the girls boyfriend liked me for years and I had no idea about this and she wanted to make a fool out of me and bully me to make him not like me anymore at the time. It was torture, I had no idea what or how to handle the situation but to eventually turn into an asshole myself on the platform. I truly didn't like that I had to come out of character to entertain this popularity train this girl was trying so hard to maintain, but I didn't want to look like no weak bitch either. So I spewed her deep dark secrets I found out about her, I even hung out with her boyfriend took pictures and posted them just to piss her off and to have the upper hand. Eventually I got tired of the games and just let her feel like she won the Instagram battle, the girl went on to another horrible route with another bigger bully and got her ass handed to her for trying to go against her, and the boyfriend well he reached out and apologized to me about his actions and everything that happened, so in the end I guess I did win idk, but I'll never come up off my throne again for anyone it was so immature and I hate that I let her bring that character out of me because I truly do not like being an asshole and confrontation. 

[yourinnertroll]

I was a bad person but I’m trying

I was probably the worst person you’ve ever met. It all started when I was relentlessly bullied in elementary school, nobody liked me no matter how hard I tried to make friends. This continued for about 6 years until I got the chance to start new once I moved to Texas. I completely remade myself, started wearing makeup, shaving my legs and arms and did skincare to make myself prettier. It made me have a god complex in a way because I was suddenly wanted and people did whatever I said. I started hating people because of it, they were so clingy and annoying, constantly wanting my attention or to be hang out all the time. I only made friends to get me through school, only dated people to get through my boredom. Once I was tired of them, I would dump them and move on quickly to my next person. This gave me a reputation in school even though I never did anything with these people, the relationship would last a week tops, no outside communication, just hand holding in the halls, occasional hugs but that was it. Nobody would believe me if I tried to explain myself but I don’t blame them for thinking that way. This continued until my sophomore year. I stopped dating, stopped making friends and stuck with people that I kinda liked. I started dating again my senior year and I’m currently still with him. Which surprised people bc I wasn’t the type to be held down for a long time. As for my friends, I knew I would just ditch them once I graduated because I would no longer need them around since I plan to just stick by myself. And I did just that, I only kept 3 people out of maybe 30 people I talked to in school. I honestly couldn’t tell you the names or what they looked like if i tried because they were that irrelevant in my life. Even now, I’m guarded, I still have a hard time making friends and being consistent with talking to people. I have the mentality that I just need my family and my boyfriend. I guess I’m still an asshole in a way but I’m a lot nicer now and Im still learning everyday to be better.

[yourinnertroll]

I accidentally led a double life as a bachelor, collecting a harem like the people I knew were quarter-machine prizes. The way I was an asshole was not through actively demeaning other people, saying terrible things, “canceling”, or bullying them. It was through genuine support. I wanted to make friends, and as I do with people who need it, I wanted to help them. I tried my very best to give them friendly advice on positive values and self esteem- being affectionate and giving them a care they’d never gotten. With all but one, this tremendously backfired. They didn’t understand. They thought my helping hand was the suave beckon of a mysterious gentleman. These developed feelings for me just because I was nice to them, but the sentiment of “romance” soared over my head. Everything I had been trying to teach them crumbled, and had a negative effect- instead of bettering themselves, they spiraled further down, convinced that I had been feeding them lies to take advantage of them. I watched them struggle in silence through a window for months, too afraid to speak to them for fear I would make things worse again. I have to live with it, knowing they will never understand. It seems superficial for something I experienced on social media to be that permanent, but knowing how badly I hurt these people is something that will forever haunt me.

[yourinnertroll]

I trolled my entire grade by making posts reminiscent of gossip girl

It wasn't for anything that mattered, in fact most of it was blatantly made up and exaggerated so people knew it was made up. But if someone tried to guess who it was I would make a post with them edited into like a really obscure kids show. The following year I made a fan account for pitbull so they were always on their toes.lost the login for that so the evidence is there forever. @mrworldwide_comeback I lost the login almost immediately, and it never became big enough to bring him back. wish I could've kept up with it.

[yourinnertroll]

Welcome to Your Inner Troll where our mission is to find the assholes that social media created. This is a safe place to share your stories anonymously (or not) for all to learn from. Please read below to learn how to participate in our virtual artifact.

We are collecting stories of times that social media brought out your inner troll/asshole. Any time that your keyboard made you say things you regret. Submit your stories here, anonymously or not. When submitting these stories please know that there is no shame, we are all learning and growing. Feel free to scroll through the stories and share them to add your own comments.

Please share this post and follow our account to spread awareness. This project only works with the help of you.