yowling-honeybees

[yowling-honeybees]

im so stupid stressed i hate this place everything is breaking and mold infested and i hate to admit it but im resentful that we got this place bc i was less sold and now we have all these issues and i! hate! it! id rather deal w austin!!!!!!! then have to call another fucking plumber or hvac person or ac person or mold remediation company or electrician or whatever the hell we have coming down the barrel. i have never been resentful about anything except for right now this moment

[yowling-honeybees]

[yowling-honeybees]

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

[yowling-honeybees]

donating my heavily annotated copy of house of leaves to the local library so that the person reading it gets a 5th layer of narrative to be confused by

[yowling-honeybees]

I can't take this guy seriously

[yowling-honeybees]

ERIN VEST All The Horses Of Iceland

[yowling-honeybees]

ITS DOECHII BITCH MISS D-O-E DON DADA BITCH YOU NOTICE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yowling-honeybees]

in another life you would have been more than just a dream

[yowling-honeybees]

Arctic Tern (Sterna paradisaea)

© Bryan Calk

[yowling-honeybees]

he could've just named the horse. seems like they weren't doing a whole lot in that desert. he had time

[yowling-honeybees]

[yowling-honeybees]

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little

[yowling-honeybees]

They just don’t assassinate politicians like they used to anymore

[yowling-honeybees]

I need life to be so good to sufjan stevens right now

[yowling-honeybees]

donald trump should get into reading tarot it should be like his next big investment “The tower. very very bad. very bad stuff about to happen. but the changes. they’ll be big. it’s important stuff. but very bad stuff. like 9/11 with your friends. maybe your boyfriend will cheat on you with a lovely gorgeous woman even more gorgeous than you and look at you. i don’t know. big disaster”

[yowling-honeybees]

“Your ‘found family’ was ‘found dead’ outside my junkyard last night, face down and ass up— the lot of them, with a red foam coming out of their mouths and anuses. It seems they were rifling through my dumpsters for some ‘Venezuelan Cigars’ as the kids call them nowadays, but since we don’t generally get organic waste like tampons, they had to make due with a couple of thermal fuses they found inside an old refrigerator. What they did next really defies logic, but the police lady told me it involved some sort of ass to mouth douching ritual. You can go ID the bodies at the morgue since literally none of these freaks had a next of kin, but I see you hanging out with them at the laundromat every fucking Thursday when I go in to do my loads. I get it kid. I see the pins on your little denim jacket. I know what it’s like, to not have a family of your own. So you have to make one. Out of the roaches and rats and dogs which crowd around you to lick at your sores. My mother died during her own birth. Then she missed mine, and my poor father passed away from the stress of bearing a child alone. He just didn’t have birthing hips like those women in musical.ly. All my siblings died during 9/11 despite none of them being within 250 miles of New York. Left little old me all alone, so I took my pansexual ass straight to Newark to follow my dreams of opening up the state’s first demiboy run junk yard. Every mook and mechanic you see lunking around here is 100% certified grade A demiboy. We screen them upon application and run them through rigorous Meyers brig testing to make sure they’re compatible with the kinds of toxins you can only find around broken down appliances and people who exist outside the gender spectrum. They’re my found family. And I would do anything to protect them.”

*turns around to unload an entire magazine into a stray dog that only just started to round the corner*

[yowling-honeybees]

sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken