zahlenfreak

[zahlenfreak]

not putting my whole pussy into it today lads. you're getting my left labia at best

[zahlenfreak]

this is Bernd of Fortune. Ignore him and everyday will be a „Mist-Day“ for the rest of your life.

[zahlenfreak]

my favourite way to react to something is saying "das ist wie dosentomaten" because then the response usually is "hä?" and THEN my answer is "passiert" :)

[zahlenfreak]

Victorian child: Hm, my scrapbook is missing something. What would complete this page?

Victorian scrap printer: How about frog in a speedo and slippers. Everyone loves frog in a speedo and slippers

[zahlenfreak]

They really need to put Oscar Van Rhijn in a Steampunk movie

[zahlenfreak]

Buster with actor and comedian Richard Hearne (aka Mr Pastry) practicing for their television episode in England 1955

[zahlenfreak]

equal rights for women will never truly be achieved until we have more female noir detectives

[zahlenfreak]

Common People - Pulp (1995)

[zahlenfreak]

[zahlenfreak]

Oh hi.

[zahlenfreak]

the fuck you lookin at keep scrolling

[zahlenfreak]

Big Guy is too Big

It's a little sad that the cat who LOVES laptime, who would sit in my lap for hours, is a giant* who cannot fit in my lap. When I am on the sofa or an armchair, he can manage by sprawling half on and half off, but when I am in a regular chair, no dice. Which is why there is a second chair by my computer desk, where he is now lounging widely and rumbling like a motorcycle. He has one paw near my leg. It's enough.

(photo taken in a different setting, but, as you can see, he FILLS it)

'* Ragdoll and Main coon breeds are bigger, but this guy is just a random feral born in a maintenance shed in a state park. As domestic shorthairs go, he's huge.

[zahlenfreak]

Fire up the Spudmobile, we're going on a road trip!

[zahlenfreak]

An appendix for my friend who had an appendectomy the other day pattern

[zahlenfreak]

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

[zahlenfreak]

You draw hats so well and im like so amazed by it because every time i try it looks like they're wearing buckets?? how do you draw them?? :o

pringles

[zahlenfreak]

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’