zero-orion

[zero-orion]

growing up I always wanted to be poorly understood by science

[zero-orion]

*sees smooth digital art* what a kickass style i want my art to be like that

*sees effortless watercolor art* what a kickass style i want my art to be like that

*sees sketchy, angular art* what a kickass style i want my art to be like that

*sees bubbly, stylized art* what a kickass style i want my art to be like that

*sees blocky, bright art* what a kickass style i want my art to be like that

*sees realistic, detailed art* what a kickass st

[zero-orion]

One of the worst feelings is when you feel a hyperfixiation slipping.. Like no.. Youre so sexy pls keep giving me happy chemical

[zero-orion]

If everyone's death is a part of "Gods plan" then why is murder a sin if God planned that

[zero-orion]

All of my lava lamp illustrations so far. Which is your favorite?

[zero-orion]

[zero-orion]

I'm going to lose

[zero-orion]

[zero-orion]

A Lifeless Flower (Acanthe AU)

············································································································································

𝘈𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘦, 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘴 “𝘈𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘴”

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘦, 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺.

𝘐𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 “𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦”.

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧… 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴?

⭐Main Tags: Acanthe AU, angst, major spoilers!! ⭐Other Tags: past valkyrie mentions, what if...?, bad ending ver. ⭐Main Characters: Shu Itsuki, Mika Kagehira ⭐Other Characters: Hajime Shino, Izumi Sena, Natsume Sakasaki ⭐Words: 1,413

(MAJOR SPOILERS!! Please do not engage until you finished reading the event story.)

Follow me on AO3!

············································································································································

Shu went back to Japan to work on a new song, a new music video, alongside Mika as Valkyrie.

Mika was in charge of the outlines this time. Even if his ideas were still vague, the concept expanded into a better story with Shu's help.

The pieces were all lining up.

An artist with an obsession for beauty that locked their beloved person within their art; a theme of loneliness and the eternal pursuit for beauty.

A gothic fairytale, an unexpected concept from someone like Mika. Despite the surprise, Shu still accepted the idea; it followed the aesthetics of the old Valkyrie.

It was a good start. 

Shu created a storyboard, one that still followed Mika’s ideas.

The “artist” created a “doll”. Out of all mediums of art, this was the best fit.

A doll fits, because humans tend to relate more to things that resemble themselves.

All Mika had to do was become a doll, become the former self that he was back then.

That’s all he needed to do to create this art into a masterpiece.

────────────────────

The first practice was disappointing.

Mika was not “doll-like”. He was not like the ‘Mika’ that he was years ago.

There was still life from his fingers up to his toes that no blank expression he makes can cover.

The second practice was a huge leap.

Mika improved greatly. He stated that he practiced hard the previous night.

It was all coming so smoothly that they made a few more runs.

The third practice was already the best that it could be.

Mika did fantastic. Even with his sudden blankness from breakfast, Shu saw drastic improvements.

The demonstration of the character was better than the last.

And then… He was disturbed.

Hajime and Izumi, two people that do not usually go together, rushed to see Shu in his dorm.

“Mika is acting strange.” Hajime said with worry, as Izumi started boiling up to get Shu rushing.

Mika was, indeed, acting strange.

No response, no major reactions, nothing.

It was like the Mika in front of him was not… Mika.

“Doesn’t it seem similar to hypnosis?” Izumi suggested. The idea was the only plausible reason they had that time, leading to consulting another person Shu knows could help him best.

────────────────────

“WelL, in shorT, yeS.” It is possible to fall into self-hypnosis, according to Natsume.

Hypnosis depends on the target you’re trying to hypnotize; it isn’t something you do to someone, but rather the effect to the receiver.

Those who are naive, sensitive, or quick to trust are easier to hypnotize.

Hypnosis is easier to break when it’s the hypnotist themself that undoes it.

It was evident. No matter how many methods Natsume used, Mika wasn’t returning to his normal state.

Nothing worked, so they all decided to call it a night.

As Shu saw Mika’s emptiness, and heard Hajime’s remark that “he really looks like a doll.” He realized that the doll he brought back home might have something to do with it.

“Showing kindness to the doll would trap me” as Shu remembered.

Mika had always been kind to anything. Heck, he may not even kill a centipede if he sees one with fear in his eyes.

It sounds uncanny, but are there any other explanations?

After reassuring Hajime and Izumi that he’ll watch over Mika, they both left.

Shu was in Mika’s shared dorm with Ritsu; he had one chance to make things right.

He talked to the doll sitting on Mika's nightstand, telling her that he wanted Mika back.

He reassured the doll that Mika would love her despite her conditions, her state, and her past.

That she did not have to take Mika away, hurt Mika, trap Mika,

Because Mika won’t abandon her -- because he’ll love her.

That’s how Mika is…

…

But nothing happened.

Mika never woke up from the “hypnosis”. He was never returned to his life, of his human qualities.

No matter how much Shu tried to negotiate with the doll, Mika was not waking up.

Mika stayed lifeless…

────────────────────

How could this happen? Mika was always full of life, always willing to correct his mistakes and promise to be better.

That if he woke up abruptly at that moment, he would continue to refine himself to make up for the inconveniences.

“He was as excited as always the other day, talking about the rehearsals for your new song…”

And Shu acknowledged that he was very motivated for it,

that he practiced every night for it.

Mika is cheeky, sometimes a nuisance, and even cries to Shu all the time.

He makes these sounds that normal humans wouldn’t make.

He sometimes has vague ideas, but he has an inquisitive mind.

He was in the process of becoming himself… How could anyone take that away from him?

How could Shu take that away from him?

He wished for Mika to be human, right? How could he ask for Mika to become “a doll” similar to how he was back in the old times?

It was all for the performance, for the music video, for the song as Valkyrie.

But was it right? 

From the very first practice, Shu spouted words that Mika still had life in him, not fitting the character that he is to play.

Shu called off the practice to give Mika time to digest the storyboard.

But he was human nonetheless. For him to demand his poor unit member to become a hollow being, to be someone in a state of emptiness, to present himself like his past identity from old Valkyrie…

Did he ever consider how Mika felt? 

Shu should know Mika the best. 

Shu knows he likes being received praise, especially when it's from himself as his leader, his teacher.

Shu knows how Mika wishes to be an artist like him, to be someone worthy for him.

Shu knows how Mika works hard, maybe even too much that he overdoes it and gets overly exhausted.

Mika even planned things to do with Shu while he was in Japan,

       but they had to be put aside for the work they have in their hands.

How could he miss the signs?

Mika already blanked out a lot of times.

Mika would be confused with how he got to places when he snaps back.

Mika left the practice room on the 3rd day with more silent treatment and limited responses.

And yet, he wasted his time and life away on the story, on the costumes, on the production sets,

        that he forgot to check on his co-member,

        that he forgot to check on Mika, his beloved.

He could only weep at the outcomes of his stupidity and carelessness…

────────────────────

Mika was sitting still on a chair in front of Shu as he was inspected from head to toe.

He was wearing the costume that should have been his to wear on the recording, where he is to perform his own creation. 

A costume of black draped with red ruffles on the outside and purple on the inside, partnered with gold accessories and patterns as white pants covered his legs to give him extra warmth. His right ear held a dangling earring of gold with a red ruby. 

Mika looked pretty. His eyes of gold and sapphire were pretty.

Sadly, it no longer glimmered like its usual shine.

It was empty, like one of a doll’s.

He was not moving an inch, not presenting any ounce of a reaction.

No matter what Shu does in attempts to get him back,

       shake his frail body,

       shout his pleas at his delicate ears,

       hold his cold and gloved hand,

       cry a waterfall of tears,

Mika does not respond.

────────────────────

“Kagehira never throws anything away. No matter how many times you fall from his hands, or even when his hands get cut, he will pick you up and love you even more for it. That’s the kind of person he is.”

Acanthe, more commonly known as “Acanthus”. It is a type of flower that means art or technique, perfect for an artist who is obsessed with eternity.  It also means “life”.

Shu pursued a dream of a world filled with art, spreading its beauty and magnificence to a mundane society.

But in the process of it, he lost a life; he lost his beloved.

He took Mika’s life away.

Mika Kagehira is human.

He always was.

But now,

Mika Kagehira, the fledgling artist of Valkyrie, is nothing but a doll;

       a product of Shu’s sinful obliviousness.

[zero-orion]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you’re at a low point:

If you were a fictional man right now, there would be *at least* ten people if not a large portion of the fanbase that would call you their wet beast poor little meow meow

[zero-orion]

My mom dumped a cluster of tangled necklaces and said "you like challenges right? Can you untangle these"

Anyways that was the most therapeutic five minutes of my life

[zero-orion]

if yall ever want like serious advice from me about how to solve burnout as a creative it's like...

literally ignore it. stop pushing. go do something else, enjoy your life, fill it with other things, do what brings you joy in the moment if you can.

go to the gym, take a walk to touch grass and look at dogs and smell flowers, cook dinner, watch tv with your friends, talk about your feelings as needed with ppl you trust, take a drive and blast your music, do the chores you need to do, the job hunting slog you need to do, read books that aren't for research, stop cordoning off your brain for The Craft or The Draft or whatever the fuck

forget about the project, stop thinking about it for as long as it takes to be excited again.

fuckin rest, basically

[zero-orion]

abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao

[zero-orion]

You know what I'm a slut for? When a character visibly drops a ruse. Like, the way their face changes the moment they give up a facade and reveal themselves.

This applies to revealing love, apathy, anger, evil intent. I mcfuckin love it.

[zero-orion]

Ok, but how about Virgil pushing Janus off of the roof?

There’s not enough room for two sides on this roof

[zero-orion]

i think i should post more doodles actually