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❛ it was real for me. ❜

It’s sad that her first thought is not something warm, but ‘too little, too late’.

Lux hates the way it feels like an afterthought, and yet is still one of the most impactful things she’s ever heard. Talon had hardly said anything - to an outsider, it was nothing.

To Lux, it was validation to all of the hope she’d harbored for him. For them.

But her answer is a bitter, surprised laugh. “You tell me this now? You knew what you meant to me.”

A hundred times he’d told her he could not stay, or she couldn’t, and a hundred times she had denied him; now, with years of tense slinking around and unmet expectations, Lux had seen reality in light that was not rose colored.

She had told Talon what he already knew, and then this. The soft part of her exulted - the bigger, resentful part bared its teeth, because she could not stay, and he knew it.

“It was always real for me,” she says. Lux tries not to sound pathetically sad, and does not succeed. “And I wish you would have realized that sooner.”

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99 starters inspired by lorde’s album ‘melodrama’   ——   alcohol tw / car crash tw / suggestive tw /  *  feel free to switch up the pronouns or the wording.

PERFECT PLACES.

❛ every night, i live & die. ❜ ❛ it’s just another graceless night. ❜ ❛ i hate the headlines & the weather. ❜ ❛ when we’re dancing, i’m alright. ❜ ❛ this is how we get notorious. ❜ ❛ we are young & we’re ashamed. ❜ ❛ all of our heroes are fading. ❜ ❛ now i can’t stand to be alone. ❜ ❛ let’s kiss and then take off our clothes. ❜ ❛ all these nights spent off our faces, trying to find these perfect places. ❜ ❛ what the fuck are perfect places anyways? ❜

THE LOUVRE.

❛ our days & nights are perfumed with obsession. ❜ ❛ half my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor. ❜ ❛ i drink up your movements, & i still can’t get enough. ❜ ❛ i overthink your punctuation use. not my fault, just a thing i do. ❜ ❛ but lover, you’re the one to blame. ❜ ❛ can you hear the violence? the megaphone in my chest? ❜ ❛ i call & you come through. i’d blow all my friendships to come & sit in hell with you. ❜ ❛ we’re the greatest. they’ll hang us in the louvre — down the back, but who cares — still the louvre. ❜ ❛ i know that you’re not my type. ❜ ❛ just move in close to me. ❜

LIABILITY.

❛ he says he made a big mistake dancing in my storm… says it was poison. ❜ ❛ play at romance, we slow dance in the living room. ❜ ❛ you’re a liability. ❜ ❛ i understand, i’m a liability. ❜ ❛ i’m a little much for everyone. ❜ ❛ the truth is that i’m a toy that people enjoy, ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore, then they are bored of me. ❜ ❛ i know that it’s exciting, but i’m better off alone. ❜

SOBER.

❛ oh, god, i’m clean out of air in my lungs. ❜ ❛ it’s all gone. ❜ ❛ it’s time we danced with the truth. ❜ ❛ i’m acting like i don’t see every ribbon that you used to tie yourself to me. ❜ ❛ my hips have missed your hips. ❜ ❛ will you sway with me? ❜ ❛ but what will we do when we’re sober? ❜ ❛ we pretend that we just don’t care. ❜ ❛ i know you’re feeling it too. ❜ ❛ i know this story by heart. ❜ ❛ in the morning, you’ll be dancing with all the heartache. ❜

HOMEMADE DYNAMITE.

❛ don’t know you super well, but i think that you might be the same as me. ❜ ❛ let’s let things come out of the woodwork. ❜ ❛ i’ll give you my best side, & tell you all my best lies. ❜ ❛ we’re dancing with our shoes off! ❜ ❛ you know i think you’re kinda awesome, right? ❜ ❛ our rules, our dreams. ❜ ❛ we’re blowing shit up with homemade dynamite. ❜ ❛ we’ll end up painted on the road, red & chrome. ❜ ❛ now you really know it’s gonna blow. ❜

SUPERCUT.

❛ in my head, i play a supercut of us, with all the magic that we gave off, all the love we had & lost. ❜ ❛ when i reach for you, there’s just a supercut. ❜ ❛ we keep trying to talk about us. ❜ ❛ i’m someone you maybe might love. ❜ ❛ in my head, i do everything right. ❜ ❛ in my head, when you call, i forgive & not fight. ❜ ❛ we are wild & fluorescent. ❜

HARD FEELINGS / LOVELESS.

❛ please could you be tender? ❜ ❛ let’s give it a minute before we admit that we’re through. ❜ ❛ it’s late & this song is for you. ❜ ❛ i remember the rush, when ‘forever’ was us, before all of the winds of regret & mistrust. ❜ ❛ now our love is a ghost. ❜ ❛ well, i guess i should go. ❜ ❛ these are what they call hard feelings of love. ❜ ❛ the sweet words & fevers leave us all out here in the cold. ❜ ❛ god, i wish i believed you when you told me this was my home. ❜ ❛ i care for myself the way i used to care about you. ❜ ❛ why even try to get it right? ❜ ❛ when you outgrow a lover, the whole world knows but you. ❜ ❛ it was real for me. ❜ ❛ this is my favorite tape! ❜ ❛ bet you wanna rip my heart out. well, guess what? i like that. ❜ ❛ i’m gonna mess your life up. ❜ ❛ we’re a loveless generation. ❜

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❛ i understand, i’m a liability. ❜

melodrama. / accepting.

     "Yes, you are.” She didn’t expect him to say otherwise, did she? If there was one thing Talon thought he could depend on her for, it was her to not be stupid. 

     “You’re a liability,” Talon said, taking a step forward, a hard line across his forehead. “You’re a risk.” A step. “You’re a burden.” 

     He was about a step away from her, but there was still considerable space between them. Enough space for her to turn and walk away. Enough for him to have time for his logic to catch up to his actions. His jaw tightened, his arms crossed, his brow furrowed. A liability. A liability. A liability. 

     In one quick, thoughtless motion, he closed the gap, placed one hand on either side of her head to pen her in, and leaned down to kiss her. Soft, warm, a distant taste of something sweet and clean that was comically Demacian …

     He pulled back, but only just. His expression was still stony, his eyes searching. 

     He straightened fully and turned away. “If you understand,” he said over his shoulder, “then stop coming.” 

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I have always thirsted for knowledge, I have always been full of questions.

Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha (via wordsnquotes)

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I’ve always had a terrible weakness for beautiful but sad things.

Sylvia Plath. (via sublimequotesilove)

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i'm here to be heterosexual

I would like to introduce everyone to my heterosexual boyfriend, Talent.

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x

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“Lighting the way.”

Spellthief Lux  ||  requested by kittyhonoka