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may i say

may i fucking say

john price getting worshipped right here

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Imagine being in high school and introducing your first boyfriend to your dad, an intelligence officer in the military.

Your dad leans in close, smiling a vaguely threatening smile. "You better treat her right. I know how to make people disappear."

Unsurprisingly, your boyfriend doesn't stick around long after that. When you complain to your dad, he just gives you an innocent look.

"What? If he's that easily intimidated, he's not worth your time."

Over a decade later, you introduce him to John Price.

Your dad's old line hasn't changed. But when he says he knows how to make people disappear, John only raises his eyebrows.

"So do I."

The minute John excuses himself to use the bathroom, your dad turns to you with unfiltered glee.

"When's the wedding?"

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cw: creampie in both holes, overstimulation, breeding kink?

simon ghost riley is determined in his way to make sure you'll be sated enough when he's filling you, spread wide over his lap, sweaty, sharp curving back slotted where it's need to be, against the firm, brawny expanse of his tense chest, one leg tugged close by his arm thrown over, twiney muscle wound tight from wrist to bicep, bulging over the spread of tattoos there, and the other you hold close to your own body, arms coiled around tightly, feeling each tremor.

you're barely in your right mind, fogged to the point of being just a mess of strewn thoughts and molten arousal, filling every crevice until you can't think, can't speak, just hold your legs spread and taking his cock in your pulsing, gooey cunt, letting cum and slick dribble out in filthy, tacky globs from both of your holes, coating his choppy thrusting shaft in layers of glistening fluids, squelching loud, ringing in your ears, muffling the words you can't register, too fucked out.

simon makes sure so you'll just stay here and take, wheezing, mouth parted, drooling with a muted whine on your tongue, as he fucks his cum out of your fluttering, spasming cunt with precised, striking thrusts against every sensitive spot, nudging in deep, as if even deeper than he's been, cock slippery with amount of drooling pre, of how wet you are despite how much you already came, how much he already filled you, plump ass dripping the same seed that's pumped in your creamed pussy.

heat in his blood pools to his cock, you're struggling to catch your breath, gulping aloud, every movement, grunt and gravelly moan shooting straight to your stomach, warmth coiling in an almost feverish way, simon's cock inside you throbs, fast and hard as it thrusts forward, rapid and throbbing with another impending release, making simon's eyebrows crease, muted red skin sticky and shiny with perspiration, hair wild, plastered against his forehead, thrusting again, rougher, once, then twice and then coming with a coarse, voluptuous growl against your burning ear

— “at this rate you're going to ge' knocked up, sweethear'”

and you feel the wave of orgasm run through your quivering, loosening limbs, heartbeat in your cunt, in your ears, in your throat, in the tips of your fingertips and curling to the point of hurt toes, making you slump useless and almost unconscious, chest expanding with panting breaths and jumping breasts, nipples pebbled as simon gives them a rough pinch, and this time, the sound escaping you is nothing but a sob, his softened cock stirring inside in renewed interest, but for now, he presses his mouth against yours with sloppy, gnarling kiss.

main masterlist. quidelines.

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cw: fluff, afab reader x price, grumpy x sunshine, older man x younger woman

HEADCANON: The team meets Price’s missus. Not expecting it to be a sweet little thing like you

PAIRING: John Price x reader

Captain John Price was a lot of things.

Gruff. Sharp. Tactical. A man who could disarm a room -- or a bomb -- with the same deadpan focus. So when he finally, finally, agreed to let the team meet his wife at a casual pub night, everyone had… expectations.

Soap pictured someone tough -- maybe military herself, someone who could handle the Captain’s brand of grumpy affection. Gaz bet five quid she’d be ex-SAS too. Ghost said nothing, but even he imagined someone stern, serious, maybe with a scar or two.

They were not prepared for what actually walked through the door.

She was wearing a pink sundress. A little cardigan. And carrying a fucking tote bag with a bloody cartoon duck on it.

Bright smile, eyes sparkling, practically skipping over to Price -- who visibly softened the moment he saw her, like someone had pulled the batteries out of a bomb.

"Hi, darling," she chirped, throwing her arms around his neck.

Price -- their Captain Price, grizzled and grumbling and terrifying to entire warlords -- bent down and kissed her forehead like he was the bloody Prince of Wales.

The entire team stared. Mouths slightly open. Brains short-circuiting.

Soap recovered first, elbowing Gaz hard enough to almost knock his beer over. "That's nae his wife, aye?," he whispered, scandalized. "That’s his — his niece. His... his fairy goddaughter, maybe."

Price gave them a look over her head that very clearly said: say one more word and die.

Introductions were made. She was sweet, bright bloody decades younger than Price, asked about their hobbies, and listened earnestly even when Soap described "this absolutely sick drift he pulled in an APC."

But as the evening wore on, something strange began to happen.

She asked Ghost if he liked lemon drizzle cake -- and then pulled out a homemade one. Wrapped in that same floral-patterned foil that they've seen Price carry around in meetings despite Ghost's insistent shake of the head. Said it was “a little treat for the boys yeah? Just a taste love”

She scolded -- gentle parented -- Gaz gently for leaving his pint too close to the edge of the table. “You’ll knock that over, darling. Move it here, where your elbow won’t catch it.” She pulled a crossword puzzle out of her bag, a newspaper crossword, and started muttering about how “they just don’t make them like they used to.”

Soap caught her humming along to a 70s soul track that only Price ever put on the pub jukebox. Ghost watched her separate her chips from her mushy peas with the same quiet care his gran used to.

And suddenly, despite the pink sundress and the tote bag and the glowy, Disney-princess energy -- they all realized:

She was old at heart.

She might’ve looked like she belonged on some cozy campus or fairy-tale book cover, but she moved through the night like someone who’d been here before. Patient. Observant. Steady. She had Price’s tea order memorized ("two sugars, no milk"), reminded him to take his vitamins -- "m'serious John you have to stop missing your medication dear" -- with the same tone one might use to scold a naughty golden retriever.

Price. Captain John fucking Price. Grumbly. Growling. Feared by half the globe, didn’t argue. Just muttered, “Yes, love,” and obediently took the tiny chewable multivitamin she pressed into his hand like it was ammunition.

Soap nearly choked on his beer.

She fussed over Ghost’s sleeves being damp. Asked if Gaz was getting enough fiber. Told Soap she’d found the cutest mug that looked like a little sheep and bought it for him -- “because you always remind me of a sheepdog, with all that energy!”

They were under siege.

By the end of the night, Ghost. Big bad, massive, hulking, and brooding Ghost -- who once broke a man's wrist for looking at him sideways. Cleared through a room with just a pistol. Battered through a man in half -- was sitting very still as she gently lint-rolled his hoodie. Tutting about the pub cat’s fur.

When they finally left, Price tucked her under his arm, pressed a kiss to her temple, and shot the team a look over her head that said, without words: She’s my peace. Touch her and I’ll bury you under the bloody barracks.

And every single one of them -- elite, seasoned, hardened soldiers -- nodded in perfect silence.

Soap leaned in to Gaz, still stunned. “Mate,” he whispered. “She’s got 'im on a leash, nae doubt about it”

Gaz nodded back, wide-eyed. “Pink. Fluffy. And bulletproof”

Even Ghost, unflinching, unbothered and stoic Ghost, gave them the sharpest, most solemn nod of agreement in his life.

Because clearly, Captain Price didn’t command that squad.

She did.

masterlist

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"si."

"doll."

"what's this flower called?"

simon looked at the billionth flower you showed in just twenty minutes, sighing. "im a soldier love, not a gardener." though he took the pink colored flower from your hands, and placed it in the small box you bringed, just to turn them into a sticker later and put it in your notebook.

"makes sense," you murmured. "though i thought you'd knew since you guys are always on the forests or mountains."

"we don't really have time to search which flower is which doll." he said softly, moving everything that was sharp in front of you, in the small forest you two discovered in your hike. you liked getting lost in nature walks with your husband, who was as useful as a swiss army knife in your eyes.

"shame." you murmured, holding his hand when you felt like you were stumbling. though you liked to be a little dramatic sometimes. as you both continued to hike, and pick flowers, you occasionally liked to touch big tree's. "how fast you can climb this?" you asked curiously, looking up at the big oak tree.

"three minutes, max." he said with a casual confidence that made you remember why you falled for this man. he could do anything, and it was impressing you embaressingly enough.

"wanna test it out?" you asked with a mischief smirk on your face. simon mirrored.

"what do i get in return?"

"a big kiss."

he started climbing that moment, finding bumps to step on or using his big knife to help him climb, going all in for a kiss. you chuckled as he sat on one of the sticks, looking at the time. "two minutes and a half, lieutenant!"

as if it was nothing, he jumped down from that tree, landing on his feet with a loud thud. "my reward." his hands immediatly reached out and you happily hugged his neck, giving him the biggest smooch.

the next time he returns from a deployment, he has a bunch of squished mountain flowers on his gear pocket, a few of them losing their leaves but it mattered to you nonetheless. because he thought the weird and rare flowers would look great on your little notebook, and you felt special that he remembered that while fighting for his life.

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Simon Riley is a loverboy warnings: established relationship, mentions of pornography, very fluffy Simon Riley blurb

He loved you, that much was obvious. Your initials were carved onto the handles of his guns— messy handwriting, all passion and longing— and a wrinkled polaroid of you accompanied him everywhere he went. He'd stick it to the wall beside wherever he slept, stick it to the ceiling if he got to sleep in a bunk bed (one of those with the loose springs that shriek at every movement, that poked into his back and made him miss your touch more than ever).

Johnny had asked him about it one day, half mocking Simon, he was just in disbelief that their closed off lieutenant had found someone, and reasonably so. It was late at night, they'd been sitting still for hours, the target had yet to exit the building they were watching— Price had told them to wait.

So, he tried to make small talk, gossip a little. He said he'd seen that old polaroid in his quarters, seen it get tucked away in his pocket, tacked to walls and ceilings. He'd seen Simon hold it in his hands when he sat in bed— his breathing leveled, face hidden by his mask, mumbling something under his breath before he laid down to sleep. He'd made some stupid comment like what porno she sneak out of?, a comment that would usually earn him a chuckle and a tap on the arm, but that this time earned him a slap to the back of his head and a grumble.

"Respect my bird, Soap." He'd said, deep voice coated in annoyance, almost venomous.

It was obvious he loved you when, you came to pick him up after he got back from being deployed. Obvious in the way his gloved hands immediately found yours, in the way a weight seemed to lift off your shoulders; in the way his gaze, concealed with a balaclava, was so soft, so loving.

They all heard it in his voice, sweet, almost saccharine; saw it in the way you'd touch him, and he'd let you. You could poke his side after making a joke, and he wouldn't flinch, wouldn't bend your arm back or slap it away; he'd laugh, he'd hold your wrist in his big, calloused hand and laugh lightheartedly.

Soap and Gaz watched, enthralled, as you completely took over Simon's personal space, your hands moving up and under his t-shirt, your face settling in the crook of his neck as you held him close, squeezing him tight "to make up for lost time". They watched as Simon grunted out complaining, but lifted up the lower section of his balaclava and kissed your forehead, then your lips.

Ghost was their closed off lieutenant, but Simon Riley was completely wrapped around your little finger, and he loved every second of it.

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tags:@laceyfaeryy @cherrycolaheartss

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You ever think abt Ghost casually adjusting his dick in his jeans bc I do

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Johnny who makes it everyone else’s problem that he hasn’t got laid in weeks, that he’s so fucking pent up he can feel it in his teeth. Won’t stop his Scottish whining that his hand isn’t enough, needs a warm cunt to fuck or he’ll go insane.

So, you take one for the team, let him fuck all his pent up cum inside of you because you don’t think you can hear another description of how sad his hand feels. Hope to get him to shut the hell up.

But now he just won’t stop whining about needing to fuck your cunt.

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Roommate!Simon Riley who learns the names of your stuffed animals. Quietly sitting on your bed as you introduce them, gaze locked on the soft stuffie in your hands. every time you pick a new one up his eyes stay on the previous one for a few seconds before trailing back to you. he gives the occasional nod, a gruff hum when you tell him where you got it from. he forgets to speak sometimes, seemingly dull gaze boring into you. he sits up a little straighter when you start to glance away thinking he’s lost interest, but no, “Does tha’ one get along with the big fella?”

Roommate!Simon Riley who wants you to talk about your plushies and knickknacks. he likes listening to you talk, listening to your voice, watching the way you gently handle your stuffed animals. it reminds him of the rare plush or two he had growing up, gnarly and hidden away somewhere forgotten, tucked away in a dusty box. they made him feel safe when he was little, something to hold onto, and seeing you carefully arrange yours makes his chest feel lighter. heart a little achy when you let him hold one in his calloused, rough hands. soft, thumb grazing over the fabric, smoothing over stitching

Roommate!Simon Riley who brings you a stuffed animal after he goes to the store alone. he’s learned your preference towards them, too plush, too firm, not the right material - a texture you can’t hold for long, he knows what to avoid. he doesn’t feel embarrassed standing in the kids aisle sifting through brightly colored toys, but he does feel some eyes on him. but it’s for you, and a little bit for him. “Simon, you didn’t have to—”, he silently loves when you say that, gives him the opportunity to respond, “Wanted to.”. he wants to make your day, add to your collection, see you smile and love on it. gives him an excuse to go back to your room and introduce the newbie

Roommate!Simon Riley who misses you when he has to leave on deployments. he knows you miss his presence, even when he scares you by not making himself known. that you miss the way he fills your apartment, bulky figure padding around from room to room. “Got ya this. Don’t miss me too much.”, as he hands you a new stuffed animal before he leaves. one that feels holdable, something you can cuddle with and squish. one with a recorded message, Simon’s gravely voice coming from the comically cute stuffie. he doesn’t look you in the eyes, hands shoved in his pockets as he stands in the doorway, “And don’t think that’s replacin’ me.”

“Thinkin’ of you, lovie.”, a small pause in the recording, his voice a little softer, “Take care of yourself.”

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more roommate simon!

i love the idea that simon thinks he's super open and available with his emotions and reader thinking he's really cold and disinterested. is he ooc? yeah. do i care? no. if you want cannon ghost, play the game!

simon riley doesn't know when you became so important to him.

the only reason he even put out the ad for a roommate was because his landlord though he'd moved out while he was away and he'd rather have some bird in his place than deal with that again.

you were just so easy; showing up to the coffee shop (where you requested to have your first meeting just in case he was some crazy murderer) face flushed, strands of hair all over the place, and sweater a mess; rushing to explain how you got sprayed by a sprinkler on your walk over then chased by a dog. and just as you repeat sorry for the 30th time simon thinks he's in love. you're officially his roommate 30 minutes later.

but it's so out of character for him. he hasn't been around anything other than hard ass military men since he was a teenager. fuck, he's killed hundreds of men in his line of work, tortured thousands more. (he doesn't like to think that that's why he's so drawn to you. that you're so different from who he has to be, someone he's been for so long, that being around you lets him breathe. that he feels like he can actually sit and enjoy his moments away from the field in your tiny manchester apartment.)

he thinks it actually started with the decorations.

the small trinkets you let around the common spaces when he was away. it starts with your room obviously; fairy lights above your bed that spills light into the hallway when he comes home in the early morning hours, paintings on the wall that eventually flow over into the living room, the small plants in your window sill that you ask him to water one day after you leave for work.

then the dinner table suddenly has checkerboard placemats and a vase of flowers that change with the season. and his run-down couch has decorative pillows and a throw blanket (both words he learned from you when he questions what the fuck is on his couch). then the bathroom in the hallway gets a new soap stand, and a mat is placed at your front door, next to the shoe organizer and coat rack.

so he starts buying things too; the penguin plushie in the supermarket window, the vase that matches the curtains in the living room, and a small skull magnet to rest on the face of your fridge.

and before simon knows it his dreary, cold apartment actually looks lived in. and instead of coming home to a dark hallway and an empty fridge, your flower lamp is on, some random show from the 90s is playing, and there's food on the table.

he gets to know you more than he thought he would; he knows what foods you don't like, the books you're reading and the ones you refuse to read again, and even that dick from work he promises to take care of if he bothers you again (it's evident that you think it's a joke and not something that he would genuinely do but simon doesn't think he's ever been more serious).

but he never lets you know too much about him, you don't need to know about it and the less you find out the better.

then came dinners, actual dinner not just him showing up while you already had food ready. you would ask if he wanted whatever you had made ( 'i'm already making food and i normally don't eat is all anyway, so i might as well share' ). so suddenly he was spending his nights at your table with a homecooked meal and simon doesn't think he could ever let this go.

then he gets sent away again, for way longer this time. he makes sure to update his paperwork, changes his emergency contact, your name swirled onto the spouse line. you were probably as close as he'll ever get to one and if you're there they'll tell you if anything happens to him faster. he doesn't want to think of how nice your first name looks with his last name. and you'll probably never even know, simon's never gotten that injured before and he doesn't plan on it now.

months in the heat of the middle east return him to hard shell of a man he was. coming home caked in dirt, blood speckled on his clothes; he doesn't want you to see him like this, he doesn't want you to know this version of him. and for the first time he regrets letting you come into his life.

you are home when he gets back, 2:30 in the morning and every light is off, he opens your door to make sure. you're asleep, not shocking, cuddled into the giant octopus you won at an arcade. he tries not to move, he just wants to look at you for a little bit.

he wakes up the next morning to breakfast and a new pair of combat boots. he's only home for a week this time, not that he's ever home for longer than a month, and he tries to soak up all of your time. you complain about your car, he's on it. the heater started being testy, that's fine he'll take care of it. he's going grocery shopping with you, he watching that weird hospital show, and he enjoys his time in domestic bliss before getting thrown back into some random country.

somehow that all led him here. laying in a hospital bed with two bullets lodged in his shoulder with you sitting in some shitty chair pulled as close to the bed as you could.

"so uh, i'm mrs. riley now?"

"yeah, ya are. 'av been for a while."

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Simon, tits or ass question

Simon never understood the whole ass or tits debate.

It was the kind of question that got tossed around by the younger recruits, the loud, cocky ones who acted like they’d never touched a woman—probably hadn’t—let alone knew where to find a clit. He’d hear it in the barracks, in the gym, during downtime on base, always the same brainless conversation.

And every damn time, his mind went straight to you. His fiancée.

Sure, Simon liked your ass. Liked the way it felt in his hands, the way he could squeeze it in public just to hear you scold him, swatting his arm and hissing about other people being around—like he gave a shit. He liked resting his head on it, treating it like a pillow when you laid on your stomach, liked feeling it press up against him in the middle of the night when you shifted in your sleep.

But he also liked your tits.

Liked watching them bounce when you ran on the treadmill in that little sports bra and shorts. Liked sinking his face into them after long, brutal days, letting himself get lost in your warmth. Liked sneaking up behind you while you got ready, pressing his hands over them just to hear you sigh, half-exasperated, half-amused.

But then there were your eyes.

Simon fucking loved your eyes. Loved that he could stare into them whenever he wanted because you were his and that meant he had that privilege. Loved the way you squinted when the sun was too bright, how you’d complain about it getting in your face while he just stood there, mesmerized by how it made your irises glow. He got grumpy whenever you wore sunglasses. Not that he’d admit it, because it meant he couldn’t see them, just his own damn reflection staring back at him.

And your hair. Jesus.

Then there was your hair—your sweet-smelling hair that he could sit for hours just breathing in. He loved the way it felt against his skin, whether it was soft, loose or styled with care. Loved when you let him play with it, even if he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing half the time. And when you slept, he didn’t mind if it ended up in his face, didn’t care if it tickled or got in the way. he’d just bury himself deeper, content in the warmth of you.

Then there were your legs.

Simon liked them no matter what. He liked the slight prickle when your hair started growing back, liked running his hands up and down your thighs just to feel the texture. But he also liked when you let him shave them, taking his time, careful and precise, making sure not to nick you. Didn’t matter if they were smooth, stubbled, or fully grown out—he just liked you.

Your hands. Your belly. Your arms. Your face. Every part of you.

So no, Simon never really understood the whole ass or tits question. It was too small, too simple.

Because he didn’t just like your ass or your tits.

He liked you.

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Simon knew you. You were never the jealous type, not least because you trusted Simon completely. The man would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked him. There was no reason for you to be distrustful of him.

In fact, it was never implied that you were in a relationship with Simon, but just by looking at the two of you together, it was obvious that Simon couldn't hide his feelings.

Well, it was clear to almost everyone.

Every now and then recruits arrived at the base, and Simon was one of those responsible for training them, everything always went well, however this time a certain recruit thought it was a good idea to flirt with the Lieutenant.

Simon obviously didn't reciprocate in any way. He was loyal to the person he loved. But even so, it seemed that this particular recruit still didn't understand Simon's cues.

You were obviously upset, even a little jealous, and Simon couldn't leave it at that, could he? So what better idea than to give you a ring?

You were already engaged. Why not get married right away?

He couldn't let his little bird get upset over a silly thing like that. So he quickly bought an expensive ring, with a big diamond in the middle, and it was as shiny as you. Simon didn't think twice before marrying you.

You deserved nothing less, and Simon was going to make it clear that you were his and he was yours. He didn't refrain from buying himself a ring either. His hands that were always covered with gloves were now bare, and he made sure to show off to display the wedding band on his finger.

And you think it was just the ring he gave you? Oh no, he also gave you a round belly that swelled more with each passing month, Simon couldn't have been prouder. What's better than having you married with him and full with his kid?

Now, every time you walk by the recruit, the signs are more obvious than anything Simon could say. And he knew you were doing it on purpose, putting your ring hand on your belly and caressing it. And to add fuel to the fire, Simon always stroked your belly when he was next to you, making it clear that he was very committed.

Since then, you haven't heard a single comment from the recruit. Apparently, Simon had made the situation very clear this time.

You were his pretty little thing, and it's going to stay that way.

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141, and their dirty mementos

soap is an avid panty stealer. wholeheartedly believe that man digs through your undergarment drawer before deployment and pockets them- or he steals them off you in the morning. eats you out to wake you up and then slips your panties back over your raw cunt, pressing it down so your spend takes to the cloth. it doesn't get washed until he returns, and by then he's licked and sniffed it enough times that its more him than you.

price carries photos of you. the tasteful ones are on display- in his wallet you're smiling while at dinner. the one behind it, however, is him splitting you over his cock that same night, your smile wavering with spit and stupor. he's got more, some you don't even know about, and folds them in various pockets of his flak jacket for the lonely nights where he misses his wife. god forbid you send him one while he's deployed, you're getting the most violent lay when he gets home.

the week approaching his departure, gaz records sex over an audio tape. doesn't matter when or where, that man is kissing your sweaty forehead and reminding you, "into the mic, baby," as he ruins your spent cunt. plays them back on particularly long stakeouts, or the evenings he can't sleep to remind himself of who's waiting home for him. especially loves fantasizing about how you're likely making the same noises now, alone in your shared flat, chasing what only he can give you.

simon has a tattoo of you on his thigh. now, it's not actually of you, but it's a collection of reminders- finger print, your favorite flower, kiss mark, amongst other small details that appear to be random tracings at first glance. but not to him- not when he's fucking his hand staring at it, enjoying the images his mind conjures. half an ego trip- to know you so deeply, more than anyone, that looking at self-curated paraphernalia of his wife bring a vivid picture of you to mind. you can tease him for his poetic approach all you want, but he knows you stare at it.

simon tattoo follow up

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Simon Riley has a picture of you in his wallet.

On one of the few occasions where Simon went out to the pub with the rest of the task force, he insisted he had to leave early. He had business.

He had you waiting at home.

So, he took out his wallet to pay for the two beers he’d allowed himself to have, not wanting to be drunk by the time he’d gotten home to you.

Johnny noticed it first.

“Who’s that?” Johnny asks, pointing to the picture of you and Simon, grinning like a cheshire cat.

Kyle looks over at the photo and grins. Price was curious too, but made no move to be as nosy as the other two.

“My wife.”

Simon puts the money down on the table, ignoring the flabbergasted look on Johnny’s face and the laugh Kyle gave upon seeing it, Price even gave an amused smile.

“What do you mean ‘wife’?!” “Why’d ya never say anythin’!”

Simon walked out of the pub, dead set on returning to his wife.

To you.

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just thinking about down-bad husband John Price.

when he drops to his knees as soon as he gets home, placing his face between your soaked thighs, wrapping his lips around your aching clit because it's been weeks since he's been home, and he can't wait another minute.

when he has to drag you back inside for an hour at a barbeque because your bathing suit hugs your ass perfectly.

when he sends you videos of his hand around his heavy cock mid workout because he can only go a few hours at a time without thinking of how well your cunt hugs his dick.

when he begs for just one picture of your tits so he can carry it around in his wallet when he's away. and so that maybe one of the boys will catch a glimpse of it and see what he gets to go home to.

when he finally lets you visit the base for some party they're having, and he gets a minute with you in his office so he fucks you over all of the paperwork he said he was grabbing.

he just loves you so much, maybe you should send him those videos of you bouncing on your dildo, just so he won't get lonely, y'know?