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it’s the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.

you can only reblog this today.

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u will never have gf u are just a portly boy in a sailor suit carrying a huge lollipop

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Shikamaru didn't realize he had a problem until he had already fallen down the rabbit hole with no way out. He hadn't really been interested in alcohol growing up. His experience watching his dad drink instead of going home to a loveless marriage turned him off, not to mention that the taste was awful.

However, he saw the appeal of it the night after his sensei almost died in his arms. That night spent huddled in Kurenai's apartment getting sloppy drunk with Ino and Choji was the first time he had ever drank in excess. It had been a good distraction, though sitting under megawatt florescent bulbs in a hospital waiting room the next day had almost fried his hungover, dehydrated brain.

Asuma pulled through, but the damage was already done.

Opportunities to drink started popping up everywhere. Kurenai had the baby? Gotta pop the biggest bottles. Surviving a deadly attack on your village? Cheers, I'll drink to that. Going into battle? You need to fortify yourself with alcohol. Lost both your parents? Have a toast in their honor. Helped save the world? You know you gotta get blitzed for that.

Drinking for a good reason, became drinking with dinner, then having a beer while working from home, and before he knew it, it had snowballed into perpetually existing in a hungover/shitfaced state.

No one knew, or at least Shikamaru thought he did a good job hiding it. He still worked as hard as he did before the war, if not harder.

He didn't hide it well, of course. The rest of Team 10 and Kakashi knew something was terribly wrong. Ino realized it first, noting Shikamaru looked so haggard all the time, constantly smoked, and insisted on getting whiskey every time they ate dinner together, which was frequent. She suspected he stayed hungover, and shared her concerns with Choji and Asuma.

They agreed, but Asuma insisted that he handle it. Asuma tried to broach the subject during a game of Shogi, but Shikamaru bristled, and left after mercilessly defeating Asuma, not sticking around to let himself get nagged.

Ino and Choji tried too, but Shikamaru barked something about being fine before stalking off.

Eventually, they tried to approach him about it so many times, that Shikamaru started actively avoiding them, staying primarily inside his house save for missions and sojourns to the store for food, smokes, and alcohol.

Kakashi didn't need to be told. He noticed that Shikamaru had been reporting to his office hungover and in a foul mood over an extended period of time.

At the end of a mission debrief, Kakashi had Shikamaru stay while the other chunin left.

Kakashi waited for the door to close before he began, "Shikamaru, what you do in your spare time is not any of my business," he kept his tone friendly, "but if you report to me hungover one more time, we are going to have a serious problem."

'You're absolutely right, it isn't any of your business,' a nasty part of Shikamaru's conscious snarled, but he outwardly remained neutral, "Having a beer or two doesn't effect the quality of my work, sir."

Kakashi placed his elbows in his desk and steepled his fingers, "I don't give a rat's ass about your work quality. I'm worried about your wellbeing."

"I'm fine."

"You're a liar," Kakashi stacked the papers and books that cluttered his desk into neat piles, "I'm reassigning the rest of your missions for the next two weeks--"

Shikamaru protested, "What? Wh--"

"Because, Shikamaru, you need to take a break and get your head on straight," he gestured to the large report Shikamaru had handed him, "Clearly, I've been overworking you. I need you in tip-top shape, not hungover and barely present." Kakashi pointed a pen at him. "You take this vacation, and if you report to me hungover again, we won't be having another friendly chat. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Shikamaru answered through gritted teeth before turning heel and stomping out of the office.

Kakashi sighed, then grabbed his phone to called Asuma.

***

"That's the long short of it," Asuma finished.

"Hmm..." Kakashi stared out of his office windows at the afternoon sun, "And none of you were able to talk to him about it?"

Choji was dejected, "He's been ignoring us since we brought it up."

"He's completely shut himself away," Ino sighed.

Kakashi nodded, "He wasn't happy with me either..." He surveyed the trio in front of him. It was clear that they were extremely worried. "Who else knows?"

"Besides us and Kurenai? No one," Asuma replied.

"Good. Let's keep it in this room." Kakashi leaned against the front of his desk, arms crossed, "That being said, I feel we need to involve one more person."

"Do you think that's necessary? What makes you think that we can't handle this ourselves," Ino demanded to know.

Asuma was picking up what Kakashi was putting down, "That could work, or it could horribly backfire."

Choji looked confused, "What?"

"Oh, I think it'll be the key to figuring this out," Kakashi sat down behind his desk again. He picked up his phone and dialed a number. The person on the other end picked up after the second ring.

"Gaara? I need a favor."

***

Temari walked into the Kazekage office as Gaara was finishing up on the phone, "I'll send her along. Don't worry about it. Goodbye."

"Something the matter, Gaara?" Temari asked, not liking the pensive look on his face.

"That was the Hokage just now," Gaara pulled a file folder out of the neat stack on his desk, "He's asked for me to send you to assist on a top-secret mission."

She arched an eyebrow, "Why?"

"He said you were the only person equipped to help, so I've reassigned your missions to Kankuro in the meantime," he opened the folder and scanned over the contents inside, "You'll be in Konoha until the mission is complete."

Temari was at a complete loss for words. "I was requested specifically?"

Gaara looked into her eyes, "Yes."

"And you weren't briefed as to why?"

"I was. I agree with Kakashi's assessment."

There was an uneasy feeling in Temari's gut. She didn't know the parameters of the mission, but already, she had a headache. "When do I leave," she asked while rubbing her temples.

"As soon as possible."

'Must be serious,' she sighed inwardly. "Alright. I'll head out after I throw some stuff together."

Gaara nodded, "Good. Be careful."

"I will." She opened the door and made to walk out.

"And Temari?"

She turned back towards her little brother, "Yes?"

His face was unreadable as ever, "Call home if you need anything."

That uneasy feeling in her stomach increased, but she merely nodded at him before heading off.

***

It was early the following morning when she reached Konoha. Usually, Shikamaru would be the one who greeted her at the gate to escort her to the Hokage's office, but to her surprise, he was nowhere to be seen.

Temari passed through the gate, starting to feel a little anxious when a voice called out to her, "Yo."

To her left, leaning against the guard shack was Sixth Hokage, reading one of his smutty novels, "Let's walk and talk."

***

"And that's where we are at."

Temari's gut feeling had been correct. Anxiety twisted inside of her like a knife. "So, he's on a bender and no one can stop him."

"That's the gist of it."

"Then why call me?"

Kakashi shrugged and looked up at a particularly interesting crack in the ceiling tile, "You've been outside the situation and can come in with a neutral, fresh pair of eyes. Him arguing with Asuma, Choji, and Ino is similar to him fighting with family, and I am also too close to the situation for him to take anything I say seriously."

He met Temari's eyes, "He respects you and your opinion. You have a very 'tough love' approach, whereas everyone else has been handling this with kid's gloves. Besides..." he looked outside the window as a messenger hawk passed, "you deeply care about him. He needs someone to lean on."

Temari blinked, "Those were good points, but if he needs a shoulder, why not have Choji or Asuma be there. They care about him too."

Kakashi gave her a look that read something close pity, "You know what I'm getting at."

She did. She hated it. "...Fine. I'll do what I can."

"Good to hear," he gave her a crinkled eye smile.

"Where is he?"

"As far as I know, he hasn't left his house. I'd start there."

It was embarrassing to get read by someone who barely knew you. Temari compartmentalized what Kakashi had said, and focused on the task at hand, which was getting the story straight from the horse's mouth.

[zonaseeker]

Colors

It was raining in Konoha. The week long heatwave had finally been broken by a nasty thunderstorm that was threatening to wash the village away, and Temari found herself sitting against a post on Shikamaru's porch, watching the rain and wind pound the yard.

Shikamaru himself was laying with his back against her chest (head right between her tits), napping away as lightning raced across the sky, followed by a boom that made the world feel like it was shaking. Did it impress her that he could sleep through all the noise? Yes. Did it surprise her? Not in the least.

She rested her arms against his chest, checking both of their phones to make sure no urgent email was awaiting them. Thankfully, nothing had come up in the 15 minutes since she'd last checked.

They really did work too hard. During their not-dates and first couple of actual dates, the conversation had been primarily been about work and work-related things until finally, they both agreed that every time work was brought up, they would take a shot. (They got hammered the first time, and ended the night by making out like teenagers on Shikamaru's bed before passing out with their clothes still on). They'd gotten better about not always talking about work since.

And life had been made easier by both Kakashi's and Gaara's insistence that they "take a breather for like, a week, damn", complete with Hideo sending them a prescription that only said 'RELAX' on it. Still, old habits died hard, and both Temari and Shikamaru checked their emails regularly. Except when eating or focusing on one another. That was a ground rule.

The rain was finally petering out; big fat drops were still falling, but not as hard as before. Temari studied the sky; it was a weird greenish gray color. It reminded her of the outfit Shikamaru used to wear when he was younger. It never really suited him, and to be honest, was kinda ugly. Not that she would've ever told him that because he was still super cute, and she had still been infatuated with him. Also he dressed much better now.

'Why did he choose that color,' she asked herself, 'there's no way that's his favorite color...'

Temari realized that she didn't even know her man's favorite color.

"Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?" He answered her like he hadn't been out cold for the better part of two hours.

"What's your favorite color?"

"...Why?"

"What do you mean why," she pulled his cheek, "just answer the question."

He slapped her hand away, and fished out his cigarettes, "It's just an out of the blue question, damn..." Shikamaru placed an unlit cigarette in his mouth and flicked his lighter. He took a drag, blew out smoke, shaking his head in mock disbelief, "You mean to say you don't know my favorite color?"

Temari was starting to get impatient, "It's never come up! I bet you don't know mine."

"Purple," he guessed correctly.

Now she was aggravated, "How do you know that?? I've never told--"

He took another puff, "You've almost exclusively worn some shade of purple since we've met. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

If his noggin wasn't between her boobs, she would have slapped the side of his head. "Lucky guess," she harumphed, "Is your's that awful green/gray you used to wear?"

"One, it's not awful. Two, no."

"Black?"

"No."

"Shit, I don't know. Blue?"

"Nope. I can't believe you don't know my favorite color...I'm hurt..." he said, pretending to be wounded.

"You can be such a little twerp, you know that?"

He snorted, "Do you just want me to tell you?"

"No," Temari grumbled, voice cross, "I'm going to guess it."

"Suit yourself," Shikamaru finished of off his cigarette and stood up. "Let's go get dinner," he yawned while stretching, "The rain's about over." He held out his hand to Temari.

She begrudgingly let him help her up, "I love you, even if you aggravate the tits off of me."

"Now, we wouldn't want that," he said gravely, following up with a kiss on the top of her head.

***

"Maroon?"

"Nope."

"Grass green?"

"No, but that's a pretty good guess."

They were walking back from the BBQ place, takeout in hand. Choji and Aiko had been there, competing in the monthly team eating contest. Though it was nice to see them, something about watching them eat like that had turned Temari's stomach, so they got their food to go.

Temari kept drilling Shikamaru about his favorite color. She had gone through the colors of the rainbow, and was now listing off colors of crayons.

"Goldenrod?"

"No."

They passed Ichiraku's, where they could see Mayu and Mamoru out on a double date with Kiba and Reiko. Mayu lifted his leg when he noticed them and called out, "Hi guuuuys, you going home to eat that food off of each other? Now that's sexy." The old man running the stand looked like he had heartburn. Mamoru waved apologetically, and Kiba refused to make eye contact.

"LOOK, THEY HAVE MATCHING SCOWLS, Reiko hollered, pointing at Temari and Shikamaru, "THAT'S PRECIOUS."

With good judgement, they just kept walking.

***

Temari stared at the neat rows of nail polish in the drug store. They both wanted snacks, Shikamaru needed cigarettes (as well as condoms and lube since they had run out the previous night). He was over near the candy while Temari looked at all the colors thoughtfully. The polish on her nails was chipped, and she had left all of her manicure stuff back in Suna.

Creamsicle, Daffodil Field, Moonless Night. They were all very pretty, but Temari was feeling indecisive for whatever reason. It was unlike her. She blamed Shikamaru and his bullshit color guessing game, ignoring the fact that it was all her idea and she was the only one perpetuating it.

"Still picking out a color?" Shikamaru approached her from behind, the chips, condoms, and candy bars in hand.

"Mhm. Should I get," she picked up a fierce red, "'Demonic and Loving It' or," she grabbed a delicate pink, "'Angel Cake'?"

"Those seem diametrically opposed..." He gave the wall a once over and grabbed one, "This one's nice."

It was a pretty sky blue with glitter in it. "'Ocean Stars', huh..." Temari cocked an eyebrow at him.

"It's a nice color, but not my favorite," he smirked at her squinting, "Come on, let's checkout."

***

The sun was setting as Temari put away her strap-on and Shikamaru wiped semen off of his chest with a towel. She stood up to look at the sliver of sky she could see through the small gap in his curtains.

"Is it sky blue pink?"

"Is what what," he asked absentmindedly, throwing the towel in the floor.

Temari jerked her thumb at the sky. The rain clouds had broken up in time to reveal a beautiful pink and blue sky, "Your favorite color. Is it sky blue pink?"

"I've literally never heard of that color in my whole life"

She rolled her eyes, "It's the color of sunsets, duh."

He sat up, "Now you're just making up colors."

"I am not, you can ask Kankuro. He'd back me up."

Shikamaru muttered something under his breath. Before Temari could call him out on it, he patted the bed, "Come on, you nosy woman. It's your turn."

She did was she was told; she laid down beside him and scooted towards the middle of the bed when he moved to get in between her legs.

"Is it blood orange?" Temari asked as he laid on his belly to get in the proper position.

He scowled up at her, "That's just red."

Before she could argue that it was in fact a real color, Shikamaru went down on her, and made her forget what she was about to say.

***

They took a long bath together, as they always did when she stayed with him.

Temari had finally exhausted all color names she could think of, but she was sure there was one she was forgetting.

"I give up," she groaned as they toweled off, "You win."

Shikamaru squeezed the water out of his hair, "Do you want me to tell you now?"

"Yes, because this will plague me until I go crazy."

"You go crazy? You've driven me batshit nutso all evening over this."

Temari snapped a towel at him, but he jumped out of the way. He snatched it out of her hands, and wiped the foggy mirror clean, "Come here." She walked over and stood in front of him; he took her by the shoulders and had her face the mirror. He held her from behind, resting his head on her shoulder, "I want you to look in the mirror, and tell me what my favorite color is."

She wanted to say something smart ass about his color being 'flesh', but she had already guessed that. Temari stared at herself long and hard. It wasn't her hair. He had said he loves the color, but it wasn't his absolute favorite.

What the fuck, what was it?? This was driving her crazy. The only thing left was her eyes and--

Oh.

Temari's face went blood red. She cleared her throat, "Teal."

"Bingo." Shikmaru kissed her flushed ear, and shook her shoulders a little, "The one color you never guessed."

She placed her head in her hands, "I'm a damn fool."

"No, no you're not. You're just..." he cast around for a word to use, "Charming." He spun her around to help her towel off her still soaking wet hair, "I figured you would have guessed it eventually, but I guess you just forgot."

How embarrassing. Temari looked up and was met with a gentle smile. "Let's go finish those leftovers, and watch a movie," she suggested.

"Sounds good, lemme smoke first though."

***

This time when they were outside, Temari rested against his chest while he puffed away. Shikamaru used his free hand to wrap his arm around her torso.

The moon and stars were out against the black night sky.

"Hey Shika?"

"Hm?"

"I love you, you troublesome man."

"I love you too, you charmingly foolish woman."

[zonaseeker]

Bedrest

Gaara loved profoundly dense men. He knew this, his siblings knew it, everyone save for the objections of his affection knew it.

Lee was too wrapped up in training to notice, Naruto was just dumb as hell. It would be exasperating if Gaara hadn't already accepted how they were.

Now there was a new man. The doctor at the free standing clinic, Hideo. God help him, he was beautiful. Brilliant doctor. A little too positive. Oblivious as they come.

Gaara was smitten.

He found himself thinking about Hideo in his little clinic, helping the ill and injured. Reassuring young mothers pregnant with their first child. Talking with his elderly patients so they wouldn't get lonely. Giving kids lollipops for being so well-behaved and brave.

"Gaara!" Temari hollered, breaking him from his reverie, "Are you even paying attention?"

"Oh. Sorry."

Temari sighed, "As I was saying, this report sums up everything regarding the Chunin Exams on our end. I'm heading back out to Konoha to speak with the Head Chunin Examiner to go over things again."

"Chunin Examiner?" Kankuro snickered, "Don't you mean Shikamaru? You don't have to make excuses to see him, Temari, we all know you wanna ki--YEOUCH" Kankuro howled in pain as Temari gave him a merciless titty twister.

"Speak again, and I'll rip it off," she snarled.

"You're so brutal! It's not my fault that you won't tell him you lo--OW MY NIPPLE."

At this point, Gaara zoned out again and found himself in deep thought. He wanted to go see Hideo, but couldn't think of a good reason. They had already went over funding for the clinic last week, and it had been finalized. How could he get there inconspicuously? All this thinking about Hideo made his chest ache....

An idea struck him. He knew what to do.

Gaara stood up, "I don't feel well."

Immediately, Kankuro and Temari ceased their bickering. "What's wrong, Gaara?" Temari asked, face creased with concern.

"My chest hurts."

Kankuro was alarmed, "Let me call for someone--"

"No need. I'm going to the clinic. I will be fine."

"Wait--" Temari started, but Gaara cut her off.

"Go ahead and make for Konoha. You don't want to keep Shikamaru waiting long. I'm sure he's missing you," Gaara was already heading out of the door, "Be sure to give him and the Hokage my regards."

He didn't wait to hear Temari's red-faced sputtering, or Kankuro's cackling followed by another pained howl.

***

Hideo's clinic was calm for once; Gaara was the only person in the waiting room. The receptionist had seen him come in and rushed back to get Hideo.

"Lord Gaara!" Hideo greeted him, smile belied by eyebrows knit in concern, "Is there something wrong?"

"I don't feel well."

"I hate to hear that," Hideo put his hand on Gaara's shoulder, "Let's get you checked out.

Hideo lead him to an empty exam room, "What seems to be the problem?"

Gaara placed a hand over his heart, "My chest hurts."

"Hm. I don't like to hear that. Let's do some tests."

Hideo began examining Gaara: feeling his pulse, checking his eyes, ears, uvula, blood pressure, reflexes, how his lungs sounded. 'He smells good,' Gaara thought to himself. He stiffened up when Hideo began feeling around on his neck, checking lymph nodes.

"Is it a sharp, stabbing pain, or burning?"

"It feels like my heart is being squeezed."

"Hm." Hideo stepped back, taking a seat in front of his laptop, "Your blood pressure is elevated, I'm a little concerned." He keyed in some notes in Gaara's medical record, "I'd like for you to stay for the rest of the day, if that's okay. Keep you under observation."

Gaara nodded, "I can have Kankuro drop off some of my work--"

"No, I wanna rule out stress. No work," Hideo gave him a megawatt smile, "Doctor's orders."

Gaara's heart skipped a beat.

Oh, he had it bad.

***

Gaara found himself in a pair of Hideo's pjs, laying on a bed in a quiet corner of the clinic. His clothes were soft and smelled fantastic. Hideo said he wanted his favorite patient to be comfortable and relaxed, so he donated some clothes to make that happen.

Of course, Gaara couldn't say no to such a polite request.

Hideo dropped off a book to Gaara, "I figure you'll get bored laying there with nothing to do. Here's something I picked up the other day. I'll let you have first crack at it," he said with a wink.

It was a book on cactus care Gaara hadn't read.

Seemingly reading his mind, Hideo pointed at the book in Gaara's hands, "I bought that after you gave me that cacti."

"Really?"

"Of course!" Hideo beamed, "She's in my office, soaking up the sun in my window. I really appreciated the gift, so I wanted to make sure I took good care of her." The receptionist called out to Hideo: more patients had came in. "I'll be back to check on you, I promise."

He was off before Gaara could say anything. Not that he had any idea of how to respond; he had been left speechless. He groaned a little before leaning back on his pillows.

The rest of the day was mildly eventful: a couple found out they were expecting much to their joy, Hideo applied aloe to a teen boy's sunburn while scolding him over not using sunscreen, some children crying over some boo-boos, a sneezy old man fighting allergies.

Gaara's view was blocked off thanks to hospital screens, but he could hear everything. There was something oddly comforting about the hustle and bustle.

His phone buzzed; Temari had texted the sibling's group chat that she made it to Konoha in one piece. Kankuro demanded a picture of her and Shikamaru together, probably to annoy her. He got his wish; Temari sent a selfie of herself making a stupid face, with Shikamaru looking very cross that Temari had him in a headlock in order to get him in the picture.

'Seems like she's having a good time,' Gaara mused. He hoped that they eventually worked out.

The day wound down. Hideo had popped in periodically to see Gaara, even at some points sitting on his bed to eat between patients. Hideo had excellent beside manners.

"How's your chest?" Hideo asked as he sat beside Gaara. The clinic had closed and it was getting late.

"More or less the same."

Hideo sighed, "Well, I don't see any other signs emerging that you're having some kind of heart issue--"

'You have no idea,' Gaara groused to himself.

"--So I think it might be stress." Hideo pulled up Gaara's medical record to type some more notes, frowning slightly, "I'm gonna give you a prescription." He whipped out a prescription pad and wrote in it, "Here you go, Lord Gaara."

Gaara looked down at the prescription note. In big letters, it only said one word: RELAX. If he had eyebrows, one would've been raised.

"I want you to take tomorrow off. You work yourself too hard, Gaara." Hideo scolded him very gently, rubbing Gaara's arm as he did so. "No excuses."

"...On one condition."

"Name it."

"You meet me for dinner tomorrow evening."

Hideo beamed at him again, "Deal. Now let's get you to your room.

***

Hideo walked Gaara back to his quarters. Kankuro was there, ready to breathe fire over Gaara, but his younger brother's firm face gave him pause.

Once Gaara was safely home. Hideo bid Gaara and Kankuro goodnight, reiterating his promise to meet for dinner.

When Hideo was out ofearshot, Kankuro turned to Gaara, "Nice jammies."

"Hideo let me keep them."

"Why are you even--"

"The doctor said to get some rest. I'm going to go lay down. Good night Kankuro."

His brother sputtered while Gaara went into his room and closed the door.

Gaara rarely slept, and sleep proved illusive this night. Not that he minded. It gave him time to read the book Hideo let him borrow, and to plan for tomorrow's date.

[zonaseeker]

Sleep

It had been a such a boring day in Suna. Gaara had a tedious amount of paperwork, the meeting with superiors was dreadful, and nothing else going on. Kankuro knew he stared at the same dent in the wall for hours on end while Gaara assigned missions and delegated tasks.

Mercifully, Gaara let him go earlier than usual, so the sun hadn't quite set by the time Kankuro had eaten dinner and sat down for his nightly task of puppet maintenance.

Clothes? Off. Work boxers? On.

Though maintenance was tedious itself, it was the one monotonous task Kankuro enjoyed doing. They all had one. Gaara had his cactus tending, Temari had her...

Well, she had Shikamaru, and they probably snarked everyone in Konoha to the point of madness.

Kankuro thanked god every day he wasn't there. He was also grateful that she couldn't shame him for being mostly nude while working.

He just wanted to work on his puppets in peace.

Gaara was good about not coming to physically disturb him. Kankuro may get a text from Gaara asking him a question, but otherwise he was largely unbothered. Honestly, it was probably because everyone learned the hard way to not pester Kankuro while he was in his room.

Kankuro got into the zone, turning out all distractions while Black Ant's joints were being checked for wear. Time flew by, and before he knew it, it was close to midnight.

He turned and looked out the window, frowning. Harue had been radio silent for the last two weeks. Got assigned big stealth mission, she said. Might not be able to contact him until she was back in Konoha.

Kankuro was fine with it, or as fine as he could be. Harue was a jounin, and a talented kunoichi. An asset to the village. He knew she got a lot of dangerous, secret missions. She knew how to handle herself.

Didn't stop him from worrying about her.

He sighed. He missed her terribly. Slightly depressed and lonely, Kankuro decided he should turn in for the night. "Another boring day tomorrow," he muttered to himself while standing up to stretch.

Before he could click off the light at his desk, a loud banging on his balcony door caused him to shriek. He was shirtless and vulnerable, completely unprepared to defend himself. It took him a minute to get over his terror and recognize the figure who was now leaning against the door to support themselves.

"Harue!" Kankuro exclaimed. He ran to the door and opened it, causing Harue to stumble into his arms, "What's wrong?? Are you okay??"

She gave him a wane smile, "I'm fine now. Just been going hard for four days. I'm a little tired."

Kankuro helped her over to the bed to get a good look at her. She looked ghastly, like she hadn't slept for a week. Without saying a word, he started taking off her clothes, squawking when he saw the state she was in.

"You're covered in bruises and cuts! What the hell happened!" Kankuro demanded to know, hands on his hips.

Harue gave him that wane smile again, holding up her hands in defense, "You know I can't tell you that. I'll just say there were no casualties on our side and the mission was completed."

He knew better than to ask that. He knew she would tell him if she could. Guilt nagged at him, "Sorry, I've just been really worried..." Kankuro brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

Harue pressed her face into his hand and kissed it, "It's okay." His heart stuttered. She was so good.

"Come on. Let's get you washed up."

He heard no argument from her. Kankuro corralled her into the bathroom, filling up some warm, soapy water for her. When it was ready, she eased right in. They were silent while Kankuro washed her back and hair. If she hadn't been so exhausted, he would have joined her, but he really wanted to take care of her. Harue deserved it.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. Kankuro rested his arms and head against rim of the tube, watching her. Harue was so damn pretty. He loved her so much.

When the bath was done, she let Kankuro help her up and wrap her up in a towel like a child. He carried back into his room, laying her back down on his bed. Harue crawled under the covers, and was out in minutes. Kankuro turned off the lamp on his desk, shucked off his boxers, then got in after her. Her hair smelled so good, and her skin was so soft. For awhile, he laid there, holding her until eventually sleep won out.

***

Unsurprisingly, Harue was still knocked out come morning. Kankuro got dressed, then headed to the Kazekage office, intent on soliciting a favor.

"Hey Gaara?" Kankuro knocked on the door before letting himself in.

His brother was sitting at the desk, computer and mission books in front of him, "Yes, Kankuro?"

Kankuro shifted from one foot to the other. Sometimes Gaara could have a really intense stare. "Uhm, Harue just got back from her two week mission," Kankuro rubbed the back of his head, "I haven't even gotten talk to her since then, and she's injured, so I was wondering if I could, uh, have the next couple of days off? To spend with her?"

Gaara had an inscrutable gaze. Kankuro could never tell what he was thinking. He felt sweat trickle down his back.

"Hm," Gaara clicked around on his computer, looked at the mission books in front of him. He was clearly in deep thought. "God this is intense," Kankuro thought to himself.

After a minute, Gaara nodded, "Granted. I will just request Baki's help while you're off."

"R-really? Thanks bro..."

"You've been working really hard lately," Gaara met Kankuro with that enigmatic stare, "Take the time to spend with her. Before the Leaf summons her back."

"I will! Thanks again, Gaara!"

***

"You didn't have to do that for me, love." Harue was laying on her belly, head supported by a pillow.

Kankuro reclined back on his own pillow, "I haven't seen you in two weeks, and you're injured. Of course I'm gonna take time off to look after you."

Harue smiled at him, this time it was genuine. "You're so wonderful. I love you."

"I love you too," he scratched his cheek in embarrassment, "It's the least I could do for you..."

"You're too good for this world," she put her hands on both sides of his face and gave him a soft smooch. Her boobs pressed against him, and he hated that he immediately became hard. Apparently, having a lonely jerkoff in the shower to her every night did nothing to stave off his horny.

"Ahh ahh, none of that," he grabbed her south-traveling hand and kissed it, "You are far too injured for anything sexy." The horny toad that lived inside him wept, but Kankuro was resolute.

She pouted, "I haven't seen you in weeks..."

"If you're feeling better later, then we can. But for now," he wrapped his arms around her, "let's just hang out okay?"

"Okay, okay. But after I've rested up, your dick better be ready for the onslaught I'm going to put it through."

Though terrifying, Kankuro liked the sound of that.

[zonaseeker]

The Hug

The first time Temari and Shikamaru ever hugged was right after the Great War had been won.

Sense would have dictated that hugging before the battle had taken place would've been a good idea too, but really, all they had managed to do was awkwardly clap each other on the shoulder, saying "Don't die" to one another before heading off to their respective fronts. It was par the course for their relationship, or lack there of.

When Temari woke up from the genjutsu, Shikamaru wasn't the first thing on her mind and neither were her broken ribs and bruises: her thoughts were centered immediately on her brothers and how she needed to find them. She scrambled to get moving, not even knowing what direction to head in, but desperate to start somewhere.

"Temari!" a choked voice called out. To her right came Gaara and Kankuro, floating toward on a bit of sand. Gaara was being supported by Kankuro, who's makeup was running due to tears. Temari took off running in their direction, and when they landed, she ran into their open arms. Kankuro's tears became sobs; he buried his face against her right shoulder, smearing his makeup and tears against her cheek. Gaara stood against her left, leaning against her with an arm wrapped tightly around her back. "It's okay, we're okay," he said over and over.

She wanted to cry too, but she wouldn't let herself. That would come later when she had a moment alone. "Thank God," was all Temari was able to croak out.

They stood like that until Kankuro's cries turned into sniffles; Temari took a step back to get a good look at them both. They both looked like hell, but were alive and not gravely injured. That's all she could ask for.

Two of the people she loved more than herself were okay, and she was okay, and that meant things were Okay. Temari almost breathed a sigh of relief when a thought struck her like a thunderbolt.

"Shikamaru" she blurted out before she could stop herself. Kankuro looked at her like she had grown a second head, but Gaara nodded, "I know his general location. I can take you there."

Off they went, a few clicks to the south of where she had been. Gaara dropped her off at the edge of the battlefield, where get could see a mass of shinobi gathered in celebration. "We have to go meet with the other Kage. We will be back," Gaara said before he and Kankuro headed out. Kankuro hesitated, but called out, "Good luck!" as they floated away.

She waved, then took off running, looking for any sign of Shikamaru. It was a mistake because her chest started hurting immediately. Temari was so tired and in so much pain. If it hadn't been for pure adrenaline, as well as a single, driving thought, she would've passed out right there.

She was too busy for anything like "pain" or "exhaustion".

So she went, running with whatever she had left inside of her, trying to find him. What felt like an hour passed, and before she knew it, Temari felt the beginnings of despair clawing it's way inside her. She had ran the entire length of the battlefield and hadn't seen him yet. What if he was dead? What if the last thing she ever told him was "don't die"? That was so stupid, she should have told him to be careful, that she would be thinking about him the entire time (which she did, almost to the point of distraction), that she really cared about him, and hoped to see him when it was all over.

Like a light beaming down from the heavens, a crowd of people dispersed, and there he was, standing with Ino and Choji. He looked like he had aged 10 years, but he was in one piece.

Temari couldn't run anymore. "Shika-" she tried calling out to him, but she was so out if breath, she couldn't manage it. Ino noticed her, and elbowed Shikamaru hard. When he turned to scowl at her, she pointed in Temari's direction, who was bent over trying, and failing, to catch her breath.

He stared for a moment before jogging over to her; Temari made herself walk towards him, exhaustion be damned.

At the exact same moment, they both opened their arms and embraced each other.

He held her tightly, too tightly. She hissed in pain, and he jumped back like he was shocked, "Are you okay? What's wrong??"

"It's okay, just my ribs. Be a little more gentle."

He nodded, but took a moment to silently look her over. Temari figured she looked as bad as he did. His expression went soft; he reached up and gently wiped Kankuro's makeup off of her cheek, before pulling her back into another hug.

A powerful urge to tell him "I love you" was so strong, it brought tears to her eyes. 'I love you, I love you, I'm so glad you made it alive out, I would be lost without you' she thought to herself.

Instead of saying all that, she whispered, "About your dad--"

"It's alright," he cut her off. It wasn't alright. No amount of his dodging would change that. Temari let it go. A conversation for another time. She merely pulled him closer, and rested her head against him. They stayed like that for a long time before she got the presence of mind to say something.

"I'm glad you didn't die," she spoke into his shoulder.

He half-chuckled, his chest shaking, "Had some close calls."

She leaned her entire body against him, to the point he was the only thing keeping her upright. She was so tired and he was so warm, so alive, so comfortable; Temari felt like she could stay there forever. Her vision started to get hazy.

"Temari?"

"I'm okay," her words were slurring, "Just tired."

With that, she was out. She didn't get to hear him call her name, then for a medic, voice wrought with panic.

***

When she came to, Temari found herself in a tent on a bed roll. She sat upright too fast, causing her head to swim. "Woah, easy," Kankuro put his hands on her shoulders and tried to ease her back down. She slapped his hands away, getting settled into a sitting position.

She bombarded Kankuro with questions, "Where am I? How long have I been out? I thought you were with Gaara? Where is Shikamaru??"

Kankuro raised his hands in defense, "You're in a medical tent. Apparently, you passed out and had to be carried here."

Temari wanted to die from embarrassment. She laid back down wishing for death to come take her.

Kankuro continued, "You've been out better part of a day--"

"A DAY?"

"Yeah. We already met up with the other Kage. Gaara is checking on some of the injured sand-nin, and I came to sit with you."

Kankuro pulled out some kind of power bar and started eating, "Shikamaru had to do a lot of running around, but he would come check on you when he got a smoke break, which was frequent." He made a face, "Someone should really get him to stop chainsmoking."

With a flourish, Kankuro finished his food, "He left the area a little while ago. Naruto is missing, and he's a part of the squad looking for him," Kankuro handed Temari a folded piece of paper, "He left this for you and told me to give it to you when you woke up."

Temari sat up back, taking the square from Kankuro. She opened it, and read Shikamaru's neat handwriting:

'I'm glad you didn't die too.'

A small smile spread across her face. With extra care, she folded up the paper and stuck it in her pocket. "...Let's go meet up with Gaara."

She managed to get to her feet. Kankuro almost started to protest, but she was already out of the door, her brother hot on her heels.

***

Years later, Temari found herself being woken up from a very enjoyable nap by a kiss from Shikamaru, "Wake up, babe. We have to meet Naruto and Hinata in an hour."

She groaned and nestled into his pillow. It smelt like him, and it gave her butterflies. "Tell them we died and can't make it."

He rolled her onto her back, "Sorry. You're the one who agreed to this double date. This is your punishment." Shikmaru leaned down and kissed her in the lips.

She returned the smooch, "You try telling Hinata no. She's too nice.".

Shikamaru stood upright to put some clothes on, "Yeah, well." He had nothing else to say to that.

Temari snorted and stretched out on the bed, trying to wake up. "Your bed is so comfortable. It doesn't wanna let me get up."

"I spent a few weeks picking it out. It's objectively perfect."

With a grin, Temari rolled over onto her side again, propping her head up with her hand, "Did you make another spreadsheet to help you decide?"

He scowled at her, "Make fun of me all you want, but it's the best way to collect and compare data."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," she hopped up and went to grab her chapstick out of her purse. Finding it was proving to be difficult. In irritation, she dumped the contents of her purse on his bed, not even noticing the worn, folded up piece of paper that had fallen in the ground until Shikamaru had it in his had.

"What's this," he asked before opening it.

"That's--!" Temari went red in the face before trying to grab it out of his hands.

He put it out of her reach, tilting his head up so he could read it while keeping it away from her. A look of realization crossed his face. "This is that note I left you after the war..."

Temari was so embarrassed, she couldn't say anything.

Shikamaru looked at her, eyes soft, "You kept it all this time?"

"Of course. I love you, and it meant a lot to me.."

He said nothing to that. Carefully he folded up the piece of paper, placed it on the desk behind him. Before Temari could get it back, he pulled her into a tight hug.

"I love you, you sentimental woman."

"I love you too, you big lazy oaf."

She pulled back and kissed him right on the mouth, "I need to get ready, sweetheart."

"Not yet." He pulled her face close and kissed her again, and one more time for good measure, "Now you can," he smiled at her.

"You big softie," she teased

"Don't tell anyone that, it'll destroy my cred as an aloof asshole."

"Your secret is safe with me. Now let me get ready."

It didn't take her long to put clothes on. As they left, Shikamaru pulled her into yet another hug.

"Someone is huggy today."

"Can't I hug my beautiful girlfriend? Damn...."

Temari rolled her eyes and laced her fingers with his. Naruto was going to give her heartburn, but Shikamaru was there, and he loved her, and that made it okay.

[zonaseeker]

josuoku, keijo was a shitty brother but oku still cared about him, josuke helps him with his Feefees

you are a son of a fuck

Having nightmares is never a good time.

Okuyasu wasn’t sure how long he’d been in thebathroom. Typically after a bad dream, he would manage to take a walk aroundthe block a time or two, chain-smoking until the tightness in his chestlessened and all of his muscles dully throbbed from being so tense. But whenthe panic attack was this paralyzing, this overwhelming, the only thing hecould manage to do was lay down, ride it out, and try to remember how tobreathe.

So, there he was, stripped down to boxer briefs,laying on the cold ass linoleum, trying to count the striations on the ceiling.It kept him present. Usually. It wasn’t working tonight. Not when he couldstill hear Keicho’s voice echoing in his ears, shrieking about hisfailures as a brother and human being; a voice that was akin to nails on achalkboard and the deafening ringing of pipes being hit. Not when he still sawhis charred burnt corpse laying there, mouth gaping open in an unnatural way.

Not when he remembered the feeling of hundreds of hotknives slicing down his face.

It took a tremendousamount of effort, but Okuyasu fumbled around for his discarded phone. He neededJosuke.

In the event thatcalling was impossible, they had come up with a code for ‘I need you’; thethumbs down emoji. It was to never be used for anything that wasn’t itsintended purpose, which was to alert the other to go where the sender was andcomfort them. It was especially never to be used while flirting (Josuke justpreferred sending the eggplant emoji with a bunch of water droplet emojis, toppedoff with a skull and coffin emoji anyways).

Okuyasu startedsending Josuke text after text. He was on his 27th when hemercifully got a response:

You: 👎

You: 👎

You: 👎

J✰☮♡: omw

He spared aglance at the time, and groaned when 3:23 am peered back at him. Both of themhad class tomorrow, but he knew for a fact Josuke had to be up at 8 am to makeit to his literature class. Okuyasu felt like a dickhead, but he knew Josukewould be pissed if he found out Oku just laid on his bathroom floor all night,unable to fucking breathe instead of calling him like he promised.

After whatfelt like an eternity, but in reality was only about 10 minutes, Okuyasu heardthe front door open. Someone quietly padded up the stairs, turning down thehallway and towards his room, before coming back and gently knocking on thebathroom door.

“Babe?”Okuyasu could only respond with a strangled noise. His eyes were still glued tothe ceiling when the door slowly swung open, “Oh, Oku…” was all Josuke said.

A harsh sobtore out of Okuyasu; he quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, ashamed at hissudden outburst. Josuke navigated the tiny bathroom carefully, as to not step onOkuyasu, before plopping down cross-legged beside him, pulling his head intohis lap. Oku pressed his face into Josuke’s hands as he wiped away his tearsand stroked his hair. They sat like that until Okuyasu was able to get controlof his breathing. “Thank you,” he murmured, feeling exhausted.

“S’what I’m herefor. Do you feel okay enough to sit up?”

“Yeah, can Iget some help?”

With a littlemaneuvering, Josuke got him up off the floor, and sat him on the toilet. As hisboyfriend busied himself running cold water on a washcloth, Oku got a good lookat him. Josuke was wearing an old band shirt he pilfered from him, on top of fadedgrey joggers. His hair was in a messy bun; stray hairs held back an adorable purpleheadband dotted with gold stars that Okuyasu bought for him forever ago. He lookedlike he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep; he was the most goddamned beautifulthing Okuyasu has ever seen.

Humming,Josuke pressed the cold washcloth to Oku’s face, “Hold this for me, I’m gonnago make you some tea.”

Okuyasu did what hewas told, “I love you.”

“I love you toosunshine,” Josuke smooched the top of his noggin before walking out of thebathroom.

He came back a fewminutes later, mug of tea in hand, “Come on, let’s go lay down.”

Okuyasu’s room was anightmare; his blankets were strewn all over the floor, everything on hisnightstand had been knocked into the floor from his panicked flailing uponwaking, water all over the floor from a knocked over cup. He felt like cryingagain. Josuke placed his mug on the desk, ushering Oku into a chair. “I’ll getthis picked up,” he snatched up blanket and the ever-faithful Mr. Whiskers fromthe floor and handed them to Oku, “Drink ya tea.”

If Tomoko knew herson was cleaning a bedroom without being told to, she would probably faint. Blanketwrapped around him, sipping his tea, Okuyasu started to feel a little better. Hewatched Josuke mutter cuss words under his breath as he wrestled with thecovers, sopped up the water, and felt so goddamn lucky.

After everything gotcleaned up, Okuyasu dropped down stomach-first onto the bed. He felt Josukestraddle him, then cool hands kneaded lotion onto his back. “You are one bigknot, sunshine…” he could hear the frown in Josuke’s voice.

Oku loved back rubs,especially when they led to other kinds of rubbing. This particular one wouldlead to nothing sexy, which was more than fine, because he was tired and justwanted to feel Josuke’s touch. Nothing was more comforting than Josuke puttinghis hands on him. Between the tea, Josuke’s soft humming, and his hands on his back,Okuyasu felt himself relaxing, until sleep enveloped him.

“Sorry about lastnight.”

Okuyasu was still layingon his stomach, his head resting on Mr. Whiskers. Josuke sat beside him, innothing but his underwear, eating a bowl of Cheerios. He hadn’t checked thetime, but Oku figured it was about 10 am. Looked like neither of them was goingto their classes.

“Dude, don’tapologize. I want you to call me when ya feel like that. Don’t care how late itis.”

“I gotta, we’remissing class because of this horseshit.”

“Sunshine,” Josukeplaced his finished bowl on the nightstand, “I’d rather be here taking care ofyou, than learning about some dumbass Shakespeare shit.”

As it always did whenJosuke used his pet name, Okuyasu went pink in the face. “Don’t deserve howgood you are to me,” he responded.

“Yes you do, I don’tgive a shit how many times I gotta say it until you believe it,” Josuke laiddown, pulling Oku into his arms, smooching his face, “I’ll say it until you’reso goddamned sick of hearing it, you’ll have no choice but to accept it.”

They laid like thatfor a while, with Okuyasu’s head resting on his boyfriend’s chest. Josuke ranhis fingers through his hair, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Not really was what Oku thought.Instead he answered, “Same nightmare I always have. A dead Keicho justreminding how big of a piece of shit I am.”

“You’re not a pieceof shit.”

Okuyasu didn’t haveit in him to argue. He was just too exhausted. They sat in silence for a littlebit before Oku managed to speak again, voice choked with tears, “I loved him,you know?”

“I know.”

“He was such afucking asshole, but he was the only thing I had.”

“I know he was.”Josuke stopped running his fingers through Oku’s hair long enough to wipe histears away.

“Every time he’d tellme how fucking worthless I was, or hit me, I’d hate him for it. But, then I’dremember all those times he was good to me, and it just made me feel sick.”Okuyasu paused to gulp down a shaky breath, “I know Keicho deserved what hegot, and I know he was a super bastard, but there’s part of me that misses him.Or misses the good parts of him, I guess. There wasn’t any of that left in theend…”

Josuke kissed the tophis head, “You didn’t deserve how he treated you—“

“I know.”

“He super didn’t deservea little brother that still loved and forgave him despite all the fucked upshit he did.” Okuyasu could hear the underlying heat Josuke was trying to keepout of his voice. He was always thankful that Josuke did he best to not fly offthe handle when they talked about Keicho. Josuke shifted down so he could lookOku in the eyes, “Okuyasu, I love you. You are a good person, you’re notworthless or an idiot. You deserve everything good in life.” After Josukemanaged to kiss away all of his tears, he hopped up, “Let’s go get you somefood, then shower because my hair is a tragedy.”

Okuyasu followedsuit, “I guess I could go for some Honey Nut Cheerios.”

“They don’t call itHoney Nut Cheerios anymore,” Josuke bent over to pick up his shirt, “It’s justHoney Cheerios now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, now you gottaadd your own.”

It took him a fewseconds to get it. When he did, Oku shoved him, “You fucker! Don’t talk aboutmy cereal like that!”

Josuke cackled andslid his shirt on, “Don’t worry baby, I got you covered—“

“EW!! STOP TALKINGABOUT JIZZING IN MY FOOD!!”

All he got was a slygrin, “Who said I was talking about food?”

Okuyasu startedsputtering; Josuke gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek then an obnoxious winkbefore skittering downstairs. Struggling to pull his clothes on quickly, Okuyasugrumbled to himself, “We’ll just have to see about that…” before following hislovely, pesky boyfriend downstairs.

He really was a luckyguy.

[zonaseeker]

KUWABARA AND YUSUKE, “Can I kiss you?”

im baying like a basset hound

“You need to calm down.”

“I CAN’T, THEY J-J-JUST L-L-LOOOOK SO SAAAAD!! NO ONE L-L-LOVES -TH-THHEEEMMMM!!!!!”

Allowing Kuwabara to go into Petco was always a mistake. He always lost his ever-loving shit when he walked by the adoption center. It was the same song and dance every single time: “We need cat food and it’s on the way. Stop being an asshole.” “I’m NOT going to cry again! I just wanna see if someone adopted Petunia yet!” “URAMESHIIIIIIII, I HATE THIIISSS. LET M-M-M-ME TAKE THEM HOOOOOMEEEEE!!!!!”

Yusuke should be embarrassed. Kuwabara looked like a thug, but there he was, his face scrunched up like a toddler’s, tears rolling down his face, his lips at maximum pouting, and the godawful wails he was letting out. All over the cats that lived in the adoption center. Yeah, some part of him was extremely embarrassed by the stares they were getting, but mostly, he could only think about how cute it was. When Kuwabara pressed his fountain of a face against the glass, making awful gurgling noises, was when Yusuke decided it was time to take him home.

“Come on, you’re making a scene. We need to check out.”

“B-b-b-b-ut–”

Sighing, he placed an arm around his groaning friend, pulling him close, “Kaz,” Yusuke’s voice was shockingly gentle, “Let’s go home. I’ll buy you ice cream on the way.” 

“……Okay.”

Yusuke pretended to be oblivious to the gawking the pair got, and the cashier avoided their eyes when they were checking out. It’s like they’d never seen a grown ass thug type get emotional over cats.

Kuwabara was quiet on the way back to the apartment. “H-hey. Uh. Sorry I cried. Again. After saying I wouldn’t.”

“Not like I expected you to not cry. You just love your cats–”

“Shut up!! I can’t help it–”

“Not saying it’s bad, just saying I think it’s cute.”

Kuwabara’s face turned the same color as his hair. He grumbled under his breath, “I’ll show you cute, you short fucker.” They pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, “Alright, get your scrawny ass out of my car.”

Yusuke grinned at him, “Before I do that, can I kiss you?” Kuwabara squawked, turning purple, which was not a very flattering color on him. He swallowed loudly, managing a quick nod. After getting the affirmation, he grabbed Kuwabara by the collar and mashed their lips together. Then before pulling away, gave him a more soft smooch. “I think you’re cute when you get emotional over cats. Don’t get embarrassed by it.”

Kuwabara only grumbled under his breath more, huffing and puffing exaggeratedly, “Yeah, yeah. You tell me that every time.”

“Only because it’s true, ding-dong.”

“Fuck you.”

“Only if you ask nicely~”

“ARGH!!!!” 

Yusuke popped out of the passenger side before Kuwabara could land his punch. 

[zonaseeker]

i will be respectful of u now sit on my d -- Gladio and Rose

a mess

Rose Lalonde is strong. Too strong, if Gladiolus had to be honest.

It was maybe their third time getting down to sexy times, but Rose was already comfortable with taking the lead. Which was fine, Gladio was happy to be able to sit back and watch her work, and let’s be real, there was something incredibly sexy about being climbed like a tree, while his small ape of a girlfriend shoved her tongue down his throat.

It was super late when they rolled up to Rose’s gothic victorian mansion (still spooked him out at night), both fairly inebriated. Getting through the door was a hassle, since both of them were trying to shove their hands down the other’s pants/skirt. Thank god Dave fucked off with John, so he wouldn’t have to see this sloppy mess.

“Gladio,” Rose always sounded clear as a bell, despite the fact she was real lit, “We’re not going to be able to make it to the room.”

“You got that right, sweet ass.” He slammed the door shut, lifting her up by her ass to carry her, “I’m thinking the couch?”

“Read my mind. Also, don’t call me sweet ass.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and proceeded to leave hickies on any part of his neck that she could get to. The big squashy couch in the living room was the destination. Gladiolus knocked errant dildos out of the way and dropped her onto the couch; not bothering to take her skirt off, he all but ripped her panties off to get at her. Ladies come first, as they say.

After the 2nd time, Rose gripped his hair and pulled him up towards her, “Inside me. Now.” He lived to please. Too many layers of clothing separated them, so they ripped and tore until both were flushed and nude, 

“Sit on the couch, I’m going to ride you until you die.”

“Aye aye, sugar tits. Go get the lube.” Gladio smacked her ass like a horse. She gave him her coldest stare, before sauntering off. When Rose returned, he held his arms out, “Come ‘er, Rosie Girl.” He grinned like a fucking asshole.

“Gladiolus,” even while naked, Rose could be terrifying, “if you want to get fucked, you better cut it out with the nicknames.”

He threw his hands up in defense, “Alright, alright. I will be respectful of you,” Gladiolus gestured at his boner, “Now sit on my dick.” He caught the lube bottle Rose threw, then herself when she pounced on him.

Gladio woke up the next morning with a splitting fucking headache. He felt his face being poked with something....dull? Cracking his eyes open, he wasn’t prepared for the sight of Dave, inches away from his face, dildo in hand. Gladiolus shrieked, and fell off the couch.

“So, you horse-dicked bastard, you wanna tell me why I find you spread eagle, naked as a colt that just dropped from an experienced brood mare, or is that something I’m going to have to figure out for myself?”

He didn’t even bother with his discarded clothes, he hightailed it back to Rose’s room, squealing like an escaped piglet.

“The audacity,” Dave said, biting into an apple, “Having his dick out on my couch without giving me the courtesy of an answer. Rude.”

[zonaseeker]

rose and sabin + outing

this is gonna be vexing anyways, i love to die and be murdered

It wasn’t unusual for Sabin to ask Rose to meet him somewhere. Normally, it was to meet up for food where Jade would be joining them at some point; or maybe to ask her for help on getting rid mysterious stains (usually Zell’s doing), which Rose had extensive knowledge about for reasons unbeknownst to him (he would never ask, and she would never offer an explanation). The two of them hanging out wasn’t awkward or unpleasant, it was just something that never happened much without Jade, or at least someone else, being on their way to hang with them too.

There was an explicit purpose why he asked her to hang out. He knew that she knew what the reason for them hanging out was, but thankfully, Rose hadn’t called him out on it over text. So Sabin sat on a park bench waiting for Rose to show up, the spring sun warming his back. He’d been there for a while; anxiety was eating at him, and so he did what any normal person would do: shove his facehole full of walnuts.

“I’m surprised to see you eating those out here where the squirrels could get you,” Rose said from right behind him.

Sabin damn near choked in surprise. “Holy shit,” he gasped, “I could have choked to death.”

Rose sat beside him, “We both know that if you choked on ‘deez’ nuts, I wouldn’t let you die.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

She waved her hand, “Don’t deny me my right to make nut jokes Sabin, you dragged me out into natural light.”

He sighed, “Yeah yeah, sorry.” Sabin shook the bag at her, wordlessly offering her some. Rose took a handful out, and they snacked in silence for a few minutes.

“So, you wanted to talk about asking Jade to marry you, right?” Rose asked nonchalantly.

“I—Uh—“ Sabin hadn’t been sure how to bring up what he wanted to ask Rose. An internal struggle had been raging inside of him, and Sabin was so wound up in trying to get his question out that when Rose brought it up, he felt like the wind was taken out of his sails. “Have you known this entire time?”

“Yes.” Rose actually hadn’t known that Sabin was going to propose soon until earlier that very day. Luca had texted her that he saw Sabin and Edgar going into the jewelry store across from Hot Topic in the mall, and that he could clearly see Sabin picking up a ring. But Rose certainly wasn’t going to tell Sabin that.

He groaned and rubbed his face, “Am I that transparent?”

“Yes,” Rose popped a couple more nuts into her mouth, “but Jade has no idea.”

Sabin sighed, “Well, I guess her being so busy with school work finally has its silver lining.” He paused for a moment, turning towards her, “Would you like to see what I chose?”

“Absolutely.”

He reached into his left pocket and fished out a white velvet box, and handed it over to Rose. She lifted the lid; inside was a simple pear shaped stone on a white gold band. Rose took it the ring out to get a better look at it.

Sabin fidgeted, “What do you think?”

Rose was quiet, inspecting it closely, “What kind of stone is this?”

“Oregon Sunstone.”

“Will it need to be resized to fit her?”

“No, Zelda managed to figure out her ring size for me. Should be a perfect fit.”

She nodded, and put the ring back into its’ box. Her lips quirked upwards, “She will adore it.”

A breath Sabin hadn’t realized he had been holding in exploded out of him, “Thank god.”      

She patted his arm, “You did well, it’s very ‘Jade Harley’”

Sabin rubbed the back of his neck, “Edgar really gets a lot of the credit because he helped me narrow it down. I would have been stuck there for days, indecisive as hell.”

“Regardless, she will think it’s perfect. When are going you to propose?”

“The day she graduates.”

Rose nodded approvingly, “Good.”

“So…” Sabin seemed unsure, “you’re okay with this? Me proposing to Jade?”          

“Isn’t that the reason you called me here? To ask me that?”

“Well yeah, but—“

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Rose asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

At that, Sabin didn’t really have an answer. Rose liking Sabin, when she hated most people, had been something he hadn’t expected when he and Jade started seeing each other. It was a very pleasant surprise, but having her approval for this was important to him.

When he didn’t answer, Rose inhaled, “I’m going to talk about feelings, so if you tell anyone this, I will have to change my name and leave the country to live the life of a humble river goblin. Also don’t look at me while I do this.” Sabin was too used to this kind of thing to be surprised, so he just looked straight ahead.

Rose took a deep breath, “Jade Harley means more to me than any other human on this planet. I would die for her, and I mean that in the most literal sense. Her happiness comes before anything else on this entire hell planet. She loves you, and has expressed to me many, many times how much you mean to her. Jade has told me time, and time again that she would marry you in a heartbeat, and she wanted, quote, ‘to have all of your babies’. If she didn’t want to marry you, I would put a stop to it right now.”

“Not to mention,” Rose continued, warming to her subject, “I genuinely like and care about you too. I think you are a good person, with a good heart who only wants to make the people he cares about happy, which for some godforsaken reason, also includes me. You make Jade happy and you both have an incredibly healthy relationship. There’s no reason for me to oppose this at all. I want you both to be happy, because I love you guys.”

“Wow, Rose I—“

“Don’t say anything,” Rose interrupted him, “I just wanted you to know that. And also that I want to be right there when you propose.”

“Yeah, of course.”                                      

“Good, now we can go back to pretending I don’t know what feelings are.”

Rose tried to hand the ring back to Sabin, but he held up a hand and shook his head. “Another thing I was going to ask, will you hold onto that for me?”

“Why?”

He grimaced, “Jade would end up finding it if I kept it at our place.”

“Alright, I can do—“ Rose’s phone started going off, “It’s Jade.” She picked it up, “Hello Jade. I ran into your boyfriend at the park, we were about to call and see if you were done with tutoring and able to meet up for dinner.” Rose was quiet for a moment, “Okay. We’ll be waiting here for you. Bye.”

Rose returned her phone to her jacket pocket, “She said her brain hurts, she needs a bowl of pho immediately, and that she will meet us here in a few minutes.”

Sabin nodded, “Thank you, for the save.”

“Give me some more nuts out of your sack, and you can call us even, Figaro.”

“Stop saying it like that.”

Of course, Rose didn’t stop making nut jokes, even when Jade showed up. Especially when Jade laughed like a loon and started making them too. Sabin was vexed, but in a good humored way, and dinner tasted extra good that night.

[zonaseeker]

i cant think of titles

“This is a bad idea” Locke said, twirling a dagger in the front seat of the inconspicuous black sedan they had borrowed in Narshe.

Edgar couldn’t help, but inwardly agree. Aloud, he said, “Not like we have much choice.”

“We do actually,” Celes supplied helpfully from the backseat, pushing herself forward to get a better look at Edgar as he drove them to Hyrule, “This is idiotic. A simple phone conversation could take care of this.”

“Asking another country to potentially put themselves at risk isn’t something you do casually. I would like to at least do this in person.”

“And put a country who has no involvement in this at risk by just showing up? Letting the Empire think the Royal Family of Hyrule is personally aiding and abetting the Returners?”

Edgar made an uncomfortable noise in his throat, “Figaro and Hyrule have been allies for decades, if not centuries. They haven’t gotten themselves involved at my request. I’m not going to ask them to fight the Empire, but there are somethings that Figaro, and the Returners for that matter, cannot do right now. I trust the king and princess enough to ask them for help.”

Terra remained silent, watching the landscape streak by. Celes threw her hands up and settled back in her seat.

The car got uncomfortably quiet, which Edgar was grateful for. The migraine that had settled in his temples five days ago after he, Terra, and Banon had gotten to Narshe showed no sign of letting up. Sabin had managed to call Edgar after they got separated, his voice sick and filled with grief and anger. The principality of Doma had been all, but decimated by the Empire. Those who had survived the onslaught were wiped out by Kefka poisoning Doma’s only water supply. The entire royal family, army, countless civilians were lost. The only person left in charge was the royal retainer Cyan Garamonde, who lost his wife and child. Sabin promised they would be in Narshe as soon as possible, but made it clear that the small amount of survivors would not make it unless they were provided aid.

Then Locke showed up soon afterwards with the former General Celes, which complicated things since most of the Returners were tempted to run a sword through her. Edgar also shared that sentiment, but he kept his mouth shut.

When he announced that he was going to Hyrule the following morning to formally request aid for Doma, Locke volunteered to go with him. Banon insisted that they take Terra with them as well. And Edgar wanted to keep an eye on Celes himself, so she made up the fourth member of this ragtag team.

Locke broke the silence, “You called ahead right? To let them know to expect us.”

Edgar blinked, then rubbed his face in irritation at himself, “No, I completely forgot. Here,” he fished his phone out his pocket, “Call Zelda, put her on speaker.”

Locke did as he was told, and held the phone close to Edgar. Zelda picked up on the first ring, “Imagine my surprise to see your name pop up on my caller ID, after repeatedly calling you when I heard that Figaro Castle had been set on fire, only to get a terse text messaging saying ‘I’m alive’.”

Edgar grimaced, “Yes, sorry for not calling back. Things have been rough.”

“That’s the understatement of the century, if the reports I’ve been getting are to be believed.”

“They’re most likely all true. I need to speak with you and your father in person. Are you both at the castle?”

She was silent for a moment, “I’m in Kakariko for the day. Dad is at the castle, something came up. It would be better for you to meet me here.”

“I need to speak to you both. It’s important.”

“Meeting me is your only option.”

Something in her voice tipped him off. Edgar furrowed his brow, “What’s happened?”

“You won’t like it.”

“Tell me.”

She sighed, and he could hear her shifting, “Emperor Gestahl sent one of his sons to meet with dad and the counsel on a supposed diplomatic mission. A wave of Gestahlian soldiers and ministers came with him.”

Edgar gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, and sucked on his teeth, “Goddamnit.”

“I knew you wouldn’t like that.”

He sighed again, “Okay fine, I’ll meet you in Kakariko. What are you doing there?”

“Visiting mom. It was the quickest thing I could come up with that would prevent me from having to deal with those monsters.”

“Alright, we’ll be there in an hour. Is Impa guarding you?”

“Of course she is. Is it just you or did you bring friends?”

“Locke is with me—“

“Hey princess,” Locke said, the verbal wink evident in his tone.

Edgar rolled his eyes, “As well as Terra Branford and Celes Chère.”

“The Imperial Witch, alongside Imperial General Chère?” Zelda’s voice was carefully neutral.

He could feel Celes and Terra shifting behind him, “Yes, though they’re no longer members of the Empire.”

“Impa won’t be pleased, but I’ll let her know to let you all through.”

“Thanks Zelda. See you soon.”

“Drive safe.”

At that, Locke hung up the phone. The car fell back into uncomfortable silence until Terra spoke up for the first time since they left, “Where are we going exactly?”

Edgar turned off at the exit, “Kakariko Village. It’s roughly an hour from the Figaro/Hyrule border. It’s closer than the castle, which would be a three hour drive from where we are currently.”

Terra nodded, satisfied with his answer. Locke, on the other hand, put his feet up on the dash and placed his hands behind his head, “So… you plan on no longer being a coward and finally confessing your undying love to her? Since, ya know, we could die fighting for freedom and all.”

Edgar fixed him with such a cold stare, Locke involuntarily shuttered, “Jeeze, sorry! Just wondering.”

Edgar didn’t dignify him with a response and everyone remained silent until they passed through the gates of Kakariko and up a steep, winding road. At the top of the hill, there was a high fence and archway guarded by a surly looking woman wearing a purple flower crown. Edgar parked beside a silver BMW, “Alright, everyone out.” The four of them got out of the car and started walking toward the entrance.

Edgar was the first to speak to the towering figure blocking their way, “Impa, it’s lovely to see—“

“What brings the Fugitive King of Figaro here?” Impa’s tone was cool and business-like, using titles to place boundaries.

Edgar rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected a warm welcome, “I need to speak with the princess, it’s grave.”

Impa’s scowl was burning a hole through him. The flower crown did nothing to lessen her hard appearance. “Obviously. I’ve never taken you for a thundering fool, so I imagine that you would have a damn good reason for showing up here with a thief, and not only one, but TWO war criminals.”

“Wait just a minute—“

“I wasn’t aware of what I was—“

“FOR THE LAST TIME, I’M A TREASURE HUNTER—“

“I suggest you three shut your mouths.” Impa snarled at them. Celes opened her mouth to retort, but Impa was quicker, “Especially you. I know what you did to Maranda. You will find no sympathy here.”

Impa turned to Edgar, “You are allowed to pass through, but your companions stay here with me.”

Edgar nodded, but Locke protested, “Why, so you can kill us?”

“If I must.” Impa said coldly.

His patience running very thin and head pounding, Edgar started walking past her, not bothering to wait for Locke or anyone else’s response, “It’s fine, she’s not going to murder you. Just wait here.”

Kakariko’s graveyard is where most of Hyrule’s dead were laid to rest. The very back of the cemetery was the final resting place for all of the royal family, where he could see the Princess of Hyrule with flowers in her hair, kneeling in front of a flower crown-laden grave. As he approached her, he could make out snippets of the song she was singing under her breath. Edgar stood a few feet behind her, listening. She never sung in front of others. “Good to know your voice is as lovely as ever.”

Zelda squawked in surprise, turning around to see who addressed her. When she saw Edgar, she sprang up, dropping the flower crown she had been working on, and launched herself at him, catching him in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank the Golden Goddesses” was all she could manage to say.

It was at the exact moment of physical contact that Edgar was once again reminded how deep his feelings for her were. He returned the hug just as fiercely, welcoming her touch. “It’s good to see you.”

After a few moments of hugging, she let go and took a step back to get a good look at him. Her face creased with worry after studying him, “Oh Edgar…”

“That bad huh?”

“You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

He shrugged, and said nothing. Zelda bent down and picked up her basket of flowers and unfinished crown, gesturing for him to follow her over to a large tree, “So what did you need to ask me.”

With a sigh, he plopped down on the ground, back leaning against the trunk, “Have you heard anything about Doma?”

Zelda sat beside him, “Only that they were forced to retreat to the castle, and were holding out against the Empire.”

Edgar shook his head, taking a moment to find the words, “Doma fell yesterday. Doma River was poisoned, killed nearly everyone.”

She gasped, a hand fluttering to her mouth, “No!”

He nodded, “The royal family, the army, most of the civilians; all gone. Cyan Garamonde is the only person with rank left.”

The hand covering her mouth clutched her chest, “Goddesses, those poor people.”

“I’ve come on Cyan’s behalf to request aid for Doma.”

“Of course. Hyrule will help in any capacity it can.”

“And since Figaro was officially invaded, I had to withdraw my troops from Eblan. They were helping with the rebuild and also protecting the border. I’m afraid Gestahl will seize this as an opportunity to invade them as well. Will you send some soldiers in our stead?”

Zelda nodded, “Consider it done.”

He rubbed his face with one hand, “I hate to ask this of you. I know Hyrule just got back on its feet, and I don’t want you plunged into this mess. But, with Eblan and Baron still rebuilding, Lucis going through a war themselves, and Figaro in peril—“

“Edgar,” she placed her hand over the one he was resting on his knee, “This is what allies do for each other. And more importantly, we are friends. I’d do anything for you. You only have to ask.” Zelda cupped her hand in his and squeezed.

He smiled softly, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles and squeezing back, “Thank you, it means a lot to hear that.”

The silence that settled between them was comfortable, in contrast to the awkward car ride there. She leaned her head against his shoulder, as she always did when it was just the two of them. Her presence eased his anxiety over the looming threat, if only for the moment. He leaned his head against her’s. He was so tired. The wind was blowing gently, it was the perfect weather. Edgar’s eyes felt weighed down by sandbags. It was a terrible idea, but he closed his eyes for a minute, just to rest them. Sleep took him almost instantly.

When he opened his eyes, his head was resting in Zelda’s lap, looking upwards towards the sky. She was softly humming, running gentle fingers through his hair. It felt amazing. It was the most relaxed he’d been in months. Zelda was busy looking at her phone in her free hand, having not noticed that he was awake. “How long have I been asleep?”

Zelda squawked again, dropping her phone and quickly withdrawing her fingers from his hair. She coughed, “About an hour and twenty minutes.”

He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands, “God. Sorry for falling asleep on you.” Edgar would be embarrassed if he had any fucks left to give.

“It’s fine. When was the last time you got a decent amount of sleep?”

“I’ve had a total of maybe five hours of sleep in the last week. That’s if I’m being generous.” It took a herculean effort, but Edgar willed himself to sit back up. Zelda worried at her lip, so he changed the subject to this first thing that came to mind, “So, were you playing with my hair the entire time I was unconscious?” It took him a few seconds to register what he had just said; when he did, Edgar started internally screaming.

Zelda went bright pink, which made him want to die. “W—well, you passed out and I moved enough so you would be more comfortable. Your hair got in the way, and—“ she stammered out, “you just have such gorgeous hair and I. Couldn’t help myself. Sorry.” She finished lamely.

This whole conversation was making him feel some kind of way. “Don’t worry about it,” he waved it off, “It felt nice. I was actually thinking about having all my hair cut off and donated if I died in this stupid war. It’d make some old rich guy a nice wig.” It was meant as a dark joke, but Edgar could tell that he had said the exact wrong thing by how stricken Zelda looked. She hauled off and punched him as hard as she could on the shoulder. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Don’t you dare joke about something like, Edgar Roni Figaro!”

He winced at both her using his full name and the sharp pain in his shoulder that he was sure would turn into a bruise. “Sorry! It was just a joke.”

She turned to face him better, clearly upset, “Jokes like that aren’t funny, and they never will be.”

“I have no intentions on dying, Zelda. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She cupped his cheek with her hand, “Edgar, I’ve been worried sick about you. I have laid awake at night, wondering if you were okay.” With terrible gentleness, she brushed his cheek with her thumb, “I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.”

It would have been less painful if she had just stabbed him in the chest. Edgar knew he had to tell her he was in love with her right then and there. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. Edge Geraldine’s voice was echoing in his head, ‘Stop being a coward and tell her.’ The time to take the shot was now.

He put his hand on top of her’s, pressing his face into her touch and closed his eyes. With a deep breath, Edgar reached down inside himself and got a stranglehold on his courage. It was now or never. “Zelda, I—“

Her phone started ringing. His eyes snapped back open, all courage lost. She looked at the screen, “It’s Dad. Hang on.” She let go of Edgar’s face and turned away slight to answer, “Hey. Yes, I’m still in—Yes,” she looked back at Edgar, “yes he’s right beside me…okay.” She offered him her phone, “Dad wants to speak with you.”

Edgar took it, “Hello?”

Daphnes spoke quietly, “Edgar, I cannot speak for long, but I must warn you. The Empire is aware you are in Hyrule. They are mustering forces to march on Narshe within the next twelve hours. They think they have the Returners cornered, and are planning to take the city.”

He felt the blood draining from his face, and Zelda gripped his forearm, worried. “Thank you for the warning. I’ll make for Narshe immediately.”

“You’re welcome. Goddesses keep you safe.” With that, Daphnes hung up.

Edgar stood up, “I have to get back to Narshe. The Empire is coming.”

Zelda, collected her things and followed him out of the graveyard. Locke, Terra, and Celes milling around outside of the entrance under Impa’s watchful gaze; Locke’s head shot up when he saw Zelda approaching with Edgar, “Princess, it’s been too long.”

Locke got a quick hug from Zelda, “It’s good to see you again Locke.”

Edgar gestured to the other females, “This is Terra and Celes. They’re both defectors of the Empire. Terra, Celes, this is her royal highness, Princess Zelda of Hyrule.” Celes saluted, while Terra half-heartedly waved, unsure if she was greeting Zelda properly. Zelda inclined her head at both of them in acknowledgement. Impa hovered behind Zelda, not taking her eyes off of Celes or Terra.

Edgar fished the car keys out of his pocket, “The King of Hyrule called, the Empire is moving on Narshe. We need to head back immediately.” He tossed them to Locke, “Go ahead and start the car, I’ll be there shortly.”

Locke nodded and gestured to Terra and Celes to follow him to the car. As they walked, Zelda turned to Impa, “Go ahead and start my car too. We’ll go visit Link and his family for a little bit.” Impa said nothing in goodbye to Edgar, but gripped his shoulder as she passed. It was her way of saying ‘Be safe.’

Zelda watched her walk away; when she turned back to Edgar, there were tears in her eyes. He was alarmed, “Don’t cry, it’ll be alright. I’ll be okay.” At that, she buried her face in his chest, arms wrapped around him tightly. The temptation to kiss her tears away was dangerously strong, but he merely returned her tight hug, rubbing her back to soothe her.

Her voice was watery and muffled, “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

He nodded, because he felt the same way, “It’s not goodbye, which sounds too final. It’s more of a…see you later?”

Zelda sniffed, “Edgar, don’t make me have to bury you.”

“You won’t have to. Things will work out.”

They stood there, holding each other for a bit before Zelda pulled away, trying to compose herself. Edgar gently wiped away the tear streaks on her face, “Do you want to see something that will cheer you up?” She nodded; he pulled out his phone and start scrolling through his pictures.

“What are you going to show me?”

“The only good thing that’s come out of this godforsaken war.” He stopped scrolling and tapped a picture, his lips curved upwards, “Are you ready?”

She nodded again, and he handed her his phone. It was a picture of a muscular, bearded man laughing at something, sitting at a table and not looking at the camera. Zelda studied it for a moment, “Edgar, who is this?”

“Look at him closer.”

She stared at the picture with her brow furrowed before the realization hit her. Zelda looked at Edgar, then back at the picture, then back at Edgar again, “Is this—“

Edgar’s smile turned into a real grin, “It is.”

“There’s no way—“

“You’re not the first person who’s said that to me.”

“He doesn’t even look the same.”

“Ten years of training on a mountain will do that to you.”

Zelda gasped, “So THAT’S where he was??” Edgar nodded at her. She looked back at the picture, “I can’t believe this.”

“Neither could I. But,” he shrugged, “That’s Sabin alright.”

She was shocked into silence. It took her a moment to speak again, “Where is he now?”

“In Doma. He’s the one who called and told me what happened.”

“Is…is he—“ She wasn’t sure how to ask her question.

Edgar knew what she trying to get across, “He’s not as insecure or quiet as he used to be. Curses a lot more too, he’s become very informal. Clearly, he’s no longer scrawny and weak, puberty hit him and he killed it in revenge. But,” Edgar got a soft, faraway look in his eyes, “There’s a lot that’s still the same. Still as blunt and honest as ever, still a terrible liar. Same sense of humor. Sometimes when we talk, it’s like he never even left.”

“What about other times? Have you guys talked about…everything?”

He shook his head, “Not yet. There isn’t much time to talk about hard, raw emotions when there’s chaos all around you. We will, eventually. For now, I’m just glad to have my baby brother back.”

Zelda handed him his phone back, “I’m glad he’s back too. Send me that picture, so I can show it to Impa and Dad. Does Edge and everyone else know?”

“You’re the first one I’ve been able to see, let alone talk to since this whole mess started, so I haven’t gotten the chance.”

She nodded, “I’ll send it to them too. You need to get going, I’m sorry for distracting you.”

“It’s fine, you’re never a distraction to me.”

She cupped his hand again, and they walked to the cars together. Before opening her door for her, Edgar pulled her into another hug, “Drive safe, okay?”

Zelda wrapped her arms around his neck, “Promise me you will stay safe. And that you’ll call me to let me know you’re okay.”

“I promise to try.”

When Zelda pulled back, he was relieved to see she was clear eyed. She placed a flower crown on his head, “I guess I’ll have to take that.” She kissed his cheek in goodbye, as she had always done. Nonetheless, it still made his heart ache.

He opened the car door for her, and closed it when she was safely inside. She rolled down her window, “Edgar, be careful.”

All he gave her was sad smile, “I’ll do my best.” With that, Impa pulled out and started down the hill. He sighed, and went to their car. Locke spoke as soon as Edgar opened the door, “So did you tell her??”

Edgar, once again, did not dignify him with a response, “Just drive.”

“You’re a coward, Edgar. You always were.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m aware of that, Locke. Get us back to Narshe and stop talking.”

“Suit yourself.” Locke peeled out of Kakariko’s graveyard and hauled ass down the hill. With enough luck, they would get back to Narshe with enough time to plan a proper strategy, so Edgar could attempt keep his word to Zelda. He hoped to God that he was successful.

[zonaseeker]

zack and zell with the "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar AU"

zell dincht is a plague on my home and i need him to mcfucking leave

When Zell gets exceedingly drunk, Zack Fair is the one who is now tasked with making sure he doesn’t injure himself or others. Zell proved to be a slippery bastard at the bar, refusing to stop slamming shots and lifting his leggie in defiance. It was only when Zack managed to grab Zell and throw him over his shoulder like a sack of wriggling potatoes, that they were able to leave.

Wrangling a tiny drunk gremlin home was a time, but Zack was the strong and Zell was the small, so it wasn’t that bad.

Zack managed to get Zell in the bed, spooning him from behind tightly, until the small z tired himself out, and fell asleep. Even if he was vexed, Zack kissed Zell’s neck and loved him regardless. It was midnight, and Zack closed his eyes for only a moment, when he suddenly heard a loud crashing noise from the kitchen.  Jumping out of bed in a panic, only in his underwear, Zack burst out of his room and ran into the kitchen.

On the floor in the kitchen was Zell, naked, sobbing uncontrollably, covered in some red substance. Swallowing down his panic, Zack rushed to his side, “Oh god babe, are you okay what hap–” 

Zell was holding a broken jar of strawberry jelly, just babble-crying like a toddler, “I JUST WANTED A SANDWICH!!! IT FELL AND BROKE!!!! IT GOT ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND I SLIPPED IN IT!! THEN I ROLLED AROUND AND NOW I’M COVERED IN IT!!” 

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Zack spared a glance at the clock. It was 3:23 in the morning. He screamed internally, but didn’t allow the inner torment to show through, “It’s okay, no cry. Let’s just–” Zack took the broken jar out of his boyfriend’s hands and put it in the sink, “get you cleaned up and back to bed,” he scooped up the sobbing Mike Tyson looking motherfucker and took him into the bathroom.

A quick rub down with a wet cloth got the sticky jam off of Zell, who was groaning like a sad walrus, nodding off. Zack picked him up like a baby and carried him back to their bed. Zell passed out as soon as his fat head hit the pillow. 

Sighing deeply, Zack shot a DM off to Squall. “I can see how you get so damn vexed by Zell.” Zack settled in beside Zell, almost spooning him when his phone went off.

A message from Squall was waiting, “Yep. He’s your problem now. 👍”

Zack sighed yet again, before rolling over and cuddling his tiny z until he passed back out.

[zonaseeker]

jade and sabin with "you know it's okay to cry" ;)

i love to die and be killed

It was only when Jade saw Sabin’s stricken face that she knew the joke had gone way too far. He had a very good sense of humor about himself, endured the teasing from everyone about his fashion choices, his purported love of Shrek, people calling him Bigfoot. It was all taken with a grin and shrug, him being the first to laugh along.

So when he trembled, refusing to look at her, trying to hold himself together in the bathroom at Decim’s bar, Jade knew that he was hurt very deeply and they needed to leave.

She managed to get him back to his place without much incident; she drove his jeep while he attempted to curl up in the front seat, which would have been comical if the situation wasn’t so serious. Sabin hadn’t spoken since they left. When they got into his apartment, he walked straight back into his room and closed the door behind him. Jade gave him a little space; answering some concerned text messages from Lee and others, putting away dishes; really anything to keep her busy.

About twenty minutes passed before Jade quietly pushed the door to his room open. He was sitting on her side of the bed, facing away from the door, head in his hands. “Sabin?” Jade said softly. When he didn’t respond, she walked over to him; Jade placed a hand on his shoulder and felt him still trembling with suppressed sobs. Her heart hurting, Jade moved his hands and sat in his lap, pressing his face into her neck. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. 

With gentle hands, she pulled Sabin’s ponytail holder off and ran her fingers through his hair. “You know, it’s okay to cry. You don’t have to hold it in” Jade said, her voice still soft.

Her encouragement opened the floodgates. Deep, body-wracking sobs escaped him; a decade’s worth of grief and regret released. Jade played with his hair, kissed his face, and let him cry it out. She wasn’t aware of how much time passed before Sabin was able to get enough of a grip on himself to speak, his voice coming out haltingly, “He hates me, Jade. They all probably do. If they don’t, they should.”

She didn’t need to ask him to clarify, “No they don’t, no one hates you sweetie. Especially Edgar.”

“I fucked up. I’m a monster for leaving.”

“Shh shh, no you’re not. I know you think you are, but you’re not.”

“God, all I did was hurt him,” Sabin choked out, “all because I was scared, selfish kid.”

“It’s okay, you were just a kid,” She rubbed his back, “If you’re worried about how Edgar feels, maybe you should talk to him?”

Sabin shrugged noncommittally and went quiet. He kept his head rested on her shoulder, trembling less and sniffling. Jade wiped away his tears, planting gentle kisses on his face. “I love you Sabin, you’re a good person. You did what you felt was right.”

He nodded, and took a deep steadying breath. Sabin lifted his head, his face red and blotchy from crying, “I look like hell don’t I?” 

“You’re as cute as ever,” Jade kissed his nose.

His mouth quirked up, “You’re biased.”

“So sue me. Let’s get ready for bed, okay? We’ll watch Planet Earth until we fall asleep.”

They showered together; nothing sexy happened, the only thing he wanted was closeness. After getting out and dressing in pjs, Sabin crawled into bed exhausted, Jade following him after getting Netflix turned on. As soon as she was in the bed, Sabin curled up to her, his head resting the crook of her neck. Within the first twenty minutes of the episode, Sabin was fast asleep. Not that documentaries bored him, but Planet Earth relaxed him to the point where sleep came easy.

At the sound of his even breathing, Jade paused it and switched the tv off. After putting her glasses on the nightstand, she settled down beside him, letting his breathing lead her into sleep.

[zonaseeker]

WRITE ABOUT GARRETT AND ANDERS for the meme thingie.

shoulder kisses

Garrett Hawke is a mess Barbra.

“It’s late.” Anders muttered to himself, one eye peering at the clock on the nightstand. Garrett had been out all day and most of the night with Marian, performing his civic duty of killing monsters and helping the downtrodden. “I just want to sleep.”

Anders wasn’t much of a sleeper to begin with. There were nights he would lie awake, listening to Justice’s fiery rambles until the sun was up and his brain was tired, and he swore that he could smell burning rubber from it working over time. His days were a haze of wishing he was asleep or dead, with Justice grumbling about how back in the day, Anders didn’t mind only catching two or three hours of sleep. But it was fine, he had grown used to it, though now it wasn’t as much as of a problem.

Garrett was a good remedy to his insomnia. Anders always woke up to the big man’s arms wound tightly around him, to the point were it was a struggle to disentangle himself without waking Garrett. Which was a feat, since Garrett Hawke could sleep through a air horn being blown in his face from 2 inches away. At first, Garrett’s snoring kept him up, but after months of laying beside him, nothing else lulled Anders to sleep faster than the rumblings of his hairy dog man. Now he couldn’t sleep without Garrett’s presence. That suited him just fine.

Anders heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. The door gently swung open, and Garrett came in as quietly as he could, Dog tailing behind him. Garrett, moaning like a Frankenstein, walked around to his side of the bed before unceremoniously planting face first onto the bed. He proceeded to start flopping like a worm, kicking his shoes and pants off, revealing the troll face boxers underneath. Dog boofed at Pounce, who was resting on his bed, before gently picking him up with his mouth and getting comfortable, laying Pounce down beside him, licking the little cat with his big tongue. 

Still flopping, Garrett pulled his shirt off and managed to slither his way underneath the covers like a snail. He pulled Anders close to him and sniffed his hair deeply, sighing at the smell of peaches that was so familiar. A strand of Anders’ hair went up Garrett’s nose, and snorted like a bull to get it out. Sighing contentedly, Anders pulled one of Garrett’s hands up to his mouth and kissed it.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” Garrett whispered into Anders’ ear before planting little soft smooches on it.

“It’s fine, I was only half-asleep. What kept you out so late?”

Garrett’s smoochies trailed from behind Anders’ ears down his neck. “A family of goblins moved into someone’s recently purchased warehouse. They were nice and understanding, so we didn’t have to kill them,” he rubbed his face into the crook of Anders’ neck, “Felt bad about making them leave, so me and Marian went hunting for a new goblin home. Took forever to find them a suitable abandoned warehouse. As payment, the goblins gave me this sweet knife. I’ll show you in the morning.”

Anders’ couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Garrett’s beard tickled him as the larger man planted more kisses on the tops of his shoulders, “Goblins huh? I thought they stayed mostly out of city limits?”

“These guys wanted to set up shop. I took a look at what they had, and was impressed. Some of it was for vexing your enemies. They had this tin of powder that is odorless and tasteless. It causes the user immediate, uncontrollable diarrhea. I plan on lacing Ginti’s food and liquor with it,” Garrett chuckled darkly like a toadie.

“Presumably not when we’re up there drinking.”

“Right. Wouldn’t want to risk hurting my beloved cat man.” At that, Garrett turned Anders over enough to kiss him on the mouth, “Love you.”

Anders’ mouth quirked up and he kissed Garrett back, “I love you too.” Rolling back over, Anders wiggled to get more comfortable in Garrett’s arms. Not even 10 minutes passed before Garrett’s snores filled the room, and Anders fell asleep to his lullaby.