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leilanihours · 9 hours

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i love you too 🤍🤍🤍

COMMIT • PAIGE BUECKERS

pair : paige b. x reader

word count : 528

warnings : very lightly hints to homo erotic friendship (friends to lovers type shit, but it’s never actually mentioned), swearing, angst, use of y/n (sorry!!)

notes : um hi. i didn’t think id ever write but heyyy i got motivated 🤗🤗 anyways idk if i like it but mwah hope u enjoy.

“And who’s fault was that, Paige? You got your hopes up. Nobody committed anywhere.”

The words you spat out rolled off your bitter tongue in frustration. What you were referring to was how Paige Bueckers, your childhood best friend, had fostered up all her hope for you to follow her to UConn, a school she had only dreamt of committing to, wanting to follow her aspirations of making it to the W. Ever since you two were freshmen in highschool it was truly one of her only longings was to be offered a scholarship there. This was a dream that Paige had, not you. You wanted to become a lawyer and go to harvard. You could admit that you pro-longed telling Paige the truth about how you felt about committing to UConn but put it off, the conversation needing to be talked about at a more ‘appropriate time’. Unfortunately, time flies when you're having fun so graduation came around the corner faster than expected and that meant telling Paige the truth about your applications and where you were going to commit.

So here you two were, sitting in your room, criss cross legged and fiddling with your nails, occasionally putting the nail between your teeth in your anxious tendency, in which Paige responded by holding your hand in hers. She soothed it as she rubbed her on your soft hands, her face was etched in concern and mild confusion. The simple gesture almost made you break out into tears right on the soft matte pink comforter neatly placed beneath you two. But instead, you looked up at your ceiling, using your thumbs knuckles to dab at the eyes that threatened to drown you in tears.

You exhaled, “So, uh- graduation is soon. And-” You were cut off by Paige’s face that heightened in excitement, “UConn! Y/N, was it UConn!” You bit your lip, colour fading from your face. It almost gave away everything you were going to say without words. “So did- Did you get in?” She inquired.

“Well, yes. But-” A shaky breath escaped your lips, “So.. We get to go to uni together?” She offered a comforting smile, her brows still slightly furrowed.

“Paige, no. I’m- I’m not going to UConn.” The air turned thick. The room fell silent.

“But I-” She let out a breathy laugh, “I thought you said we were going together. We were going to continue, together?”

“Paige, I’m sorry. I- I really am. I got accepted into Harvard law, dude. I love you with my whole heart but I just can’t- I can’t pass up this opportunity.”

“I get that, Y/N. But that's not what you told me, this wasn’t our plan,” she looked stunned in the words that spilled out of your mouth.

“Our? Paige, I told you that UConn was your dream, not mine-”

“Then you should’ve told me? Instead of leading me on, like, what the fuck?”

“I told you this freshman year in highschool. We’re seniors. Come on, Paige. You have to understand. I told you how much Harvard meant to me. Look around,” Paige looked around the room, little trinkets of Harvard's merchandise scattered around the all too familiar room. “Look down, Y/N,” Your eyes roved towards the UConn sweater clad to her body, silenting cursing to yourself for being stupid enough to forget that she, too, had a dream. “You're not the only one with a dream. Even then, I thought we shared the same one.”

Paige’s tongue poked the inside of her mouth, nodding in the disloyalty of the whole situation, she looked away from your eyes. You tried to reach out for her hand, anchoring you both to the bed, afraid if you didn’t she’d fade away into a distant memory, far from reach. She pulled away, now shaking her head in resentment. “Please, Paige, I never meant to tell you like this.” Your voice begged to break as it was only slightly above a whisper, “You lied, Y/N, I really don’t have to understand shit,”

“Okay, how's this fair to me, Paige? I have to drop everything that I’ve worked for because of something I told you three years ago? Give me a break,” You scoffed, the apologetic feeling toward her now sour, “ I’ve done nothing but support you through everything.”

“Bullshit. You're just a bad friend. I can’t believe I got my hopes up,”

“And who’s fault was that, Paige? You got your hopes up. Nobody committed anywhere.”

“‘Ight. That’s how you wanna be, fine. Be like that.”

“Like fucking what?” You hit back, “Like a bitch.” She then got up, pulling up the left sleeve of the blue sweater, she roughly pulled the bracelet off, bitterness clearly evident in her actions. She tossed it on your bed, you weren't sure where as your tears clouded your vision.

“Real mature, Paige, get up and leave like you always do, can’t even talk like mature adults.”

Discomfort heavily weighed upon your chest, you wanted to stop her from leaving, pull her down and swoon her in your arms, stroke the once blonde roots of her hair and reassure you everything would work out. But you couldn’t. One, you couldn't bring yourself to break down the walls so carefully placed around yourself to shut her out, and two, she would’ve rejected the gesture in every universe. So instead of consoling your best friend's soft spirit now stained with malice, you let her abandon the whole situation.

“Yeah, fine, I will.” She slams the door, the echo repeats in your eyes and you hear the front door close. She starts her car and you watch her drive off. The conversation replayed in your head, the bitterness and out-of-character feelings towards each other, the way it escalated so quickly, the way your message was never fully conveyed. It all struck so deep within your heart.

The realization hit, you let your true soul tie walk away.

#leilanihours #lanismoots

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leilanihours · 10 hours

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cel im bawlin out here pls this was too good 😭🫶