#thoughtstherapy

[thoughtstherapy]

[lostfirefly]

I'm drinking tea wine right now. Watching One Piece (still can't stop laughing at myself.. I haven't watched it ~6-7 years). New episode! Here we go! ❤️‍🔥

It's really good to be a part of a huge fandom.

20 y.o me is happy inside of me 😂 She apso pokes at me and laughs a lot 😂

It's very funny to remember how I was arguing with my friend when we were 20-23 years old.

Friend: Buggy is cool!

Me: NO! HE'S NOT!

Friend: You understand nothing..

Me: Oh, come on! He's funny sometimes but not cool. I hope he will never find the one piece..

Dear Buggy, sorry me for hating you 😂😂😂 I hope you'll find the one piece! 😂

Special thanks to all of you, nakama! Thank you for your stories, drawings etc. You are all talented!

My dear @laurasoretta, I'm glad I met you :)

@rorywritesjunk, I'll never shut up about your stories!

@gingernut1314 you rock! Your Songbird is 🔥

[sometimes-i-just-wanna-die]

A letter to her

“Is it cruel to be kind?”

I ask her,

with the gloomiest eyes

And the softest cry.

“Is it cruel to be kind?

Is it a crime to be blind?”

Her reply was buried

In her choked sobs,

And stained hands.

Playing with the vines on her neck,

Trying to tug them off.

I ask,

If my eyes would mirror hers on an ill-fated day

I ask,

If I would suffer the same fate

I ask,

If I would weep to my daughter

When the clock hits the night.

And as her tears stain the clothes,

She warns me,

to not trust the sea

Or the sun.

To not fall prey to the whispers of the men

Or the stars they promise.

She warns me,

To not be kind to the whims of their youth

Or to hold onto the praises they adorn,

To not let go of the fear.

Because fear-

Fear binds us all strays.

Soon, Her tears turned grey,

And her heart withered away.

Her fate unchanged.

[memeuplift]

@thoughtstherapy

[positiveseed]

Hey everyone, we have changed the number on our youtube channel (previously positiveseed) to Thoughts Therapy! What are your thoughts on our new name?

If you didn't know we had a youtube channel you can check us out HERE :)

[m-eagain]

Love note to my younger self:

My love, I see you. I see your pain, I see your hurt, I see your fear, I see your panic, I see how you love so desperately, how you give, how you help, help you try to please, how you do everything you can to be love, to be seen, to be held, to be acknowledged. I see your fear of being left being, pushed out, sidelined, unnoticed.

I see how you notice everyone else’s pain, how do empathize with their pain, how to try to lessen their pain by helping, pleasing, fixing, solving, over extending yourself. I see how you abandon yourself to help others that have been abandoned. I see how you so desperately want others to do the same for you.

But my love, it’s not your job to fix them, and it’s not their job to fix you.

And my love, you don’t need to be fixed. You are not broken. You are beautiful, you are kind, you are generous, you have good intentions, but you need to focus all that love on yourself first. You need to be there for yourself first.

When you abandon yourself, you just make it easier for others to abandon you. And actually they aren’t abandoning you - YOU - they are abandoning the version of you that doesn’t love herself, that doesn’t see herself, that tries so hard to be loved that she becomes overwhelming and actually pushes people away, they are abandoning the version of you that’s not truly you, they are abandoning the fearful, desperate, terrified, needy, overwhelming version of you that is just too much to be around, that sucks energy, that drains. And that’s not who you truly are.

So my love, my baby girl, my younger self, please know that I see you, I love you, I’m here for you, I’m extending my hand to you, I am you, I’m the future version of you, and I know that you have it within you to love yourself and let your true self be known.

Take my hand, walk forward with me, become me again, because you always have been me.

All my love,

Megan

[purplefloor]

Schau dir das mal an

From @thoughtstherapy

[personalpages]

EUPD & Suicide

I know I've been quiet recently. I've been trying to figure some stuff out, including a new job and a new relationship I don't even know if I'm ready for. We've spoken about our pasts briefly and I've explained I have high barriers. I've told them I have autism, ADD, EUPD, PTSD, anxiety & depression and they've been great with it all, been really supportive. However, I did find out they'd been lying about a couple of things and it REALLY hurt me because I even explained I had suspicions and asked them to be completely open and honest with me because I'm not the judgmental type of person. They lied to my face about it and it that was the final push I needed to give up. Even after explaining why I despise lies and why it hurts having someone who "loves" me to hide something like they did from me, even after me confronting them about it. We argued, they got angry which frightened me and they left for a fag.

This is where shit got real.

Whilst they were outside having a fag, I overdosed. I took all the medication I had with me which ended up being over 30 pills of high dosage antipsychotics, antidepressants & painkillers. I remember feeling dizzy, sick, high, light as a feather, somewhat drunk-like. I don't know how long my partner was out of the room but I wasn't conscious when they found me. I was rushed to hospital and I woke up hours later with my family around me. I was in and out of it for at least 24 hours and I really can't remember a lot of it, I had to be caught up on events after I was home and they realised I couldn't remember anything with all the questions I was asking. There's been a lot going on and everyday is a damn battle in my head and I feel like I'm losing. No one here fully understands because they don't know and they can't see how much I'm struggling. They see me making jokes and laughing about things and being light-hearted about everything but they can't see the darkness within me, taking over my body like venom. It consumes me everyday, everynight, while I'm out, while I'm alone.

I'm confused with my emotions and I'll fully admit that I don't really understand EUPD and the things that come with it. I feel so empty but heavy. I feel alone but smothered. I feel angry, upset, pathetic, useless and all the negative emotions you could possibly feel but I still feel so empty. I sit in my car after work in silence just staring at nothing and I have no desire to go anywhere, not even home. Especially today. I may have already lost my job. I got sent home half way through the day but I didn't go home. I just sat there for ages in silence wondering why I'm such a fuck up. After a while, I left a note in my pocket with my ID explaining who in my family gets what of my most prized valuables, turned my phone off and I drove. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't know what I was going to do, hence the note & ID. I ended up 60 miles away from home before I turned around again. 6 hours later I turned my phone back on and explained what had happened to my partner but they just got upset that I hadn't turned to them or spoke to them. Basically made me feel even worse than I already did, so I turned it off again. Who can I turn to when I eventually feel like I can when the person I want to be there gets upset with me about it? I know I can't expect them to understand when I don't really understand myself but when I try to explain, I do expect them to listen. Or is that not how it works in the other person's eyes? I've never really had a supportive relationship so I don't really know what I should expect and what you just find in books.

[theonethatdidntgetawaysblog]

[thoughtstherapy]

[sometimes-i-just-wanna-die]

For those alluring skies and the bewitching smiles,

The times I walk those miles.

The orange hues of the sky so high

As The day hides behind its veil

The water casting the moons white,

As the stars settle to the twilight.

The imprints we leave behind

On the golden sand.

As the rocks recite the old lovers tale,

The distant lights sail.

The twinkle in the eyes

And echoes of delight

The waves crashing on the shore

Filled with the birds uproar

Amazed with its beauty,

I sat by.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Sunday, December 17th

Lololol I'm acting totally crazy rn.

Pros of telling her:

She might break up with him leaving him to be a single POS

I would feel like an evil queen who rules the land

I would get some revenge on that pos (both)

Possibly help her from wasting her time (nice)

Cons:

They would both hate me probably forever

Trauma bond is real and it might make them closer together bc they're both so fucked up

His family might hate me for being a crazy bitch and possibly making him lose his mind which would effect them negatively because they would have to take care of him full time (ok actually this is the winner, I'm glad I wrote this out)********

****** this is the right answer bc on God I want that poor woman and her cranky sweet old man husband to just damn retire already, retire from having to raise their adult children AND grandchildren. Let them rest please this is what I pray for ❤️

Also:

I really don't have to do shit, he is fully capable of fucking this shit up himself it is simply a matter of time (if she has half a brain)

I really don't have to do this shit bc I have no intention of getting back together with him (for the aforementioned reasons in other posts) and have lost all respect and trust for him (he is literally a fucking joke)

If she has literally 0 no brain: then they are perfect together! I hope that one day I stalk his page and see them having 4 babies in a crack shack on W street, because they are "just chill like that" and being a ghetto dickhead is still cool when you can't do anything actually interesting or meaningful with your life, blissfully in love while they teach their kids to roll their weed, never take them to the aquarium or museums or on trips bc they were so self-centered when they were young that now they are dealing with the consequences 10 yrs later. Trust me, I don't think less of these ppl who are forced into these situations, but when you're given multiple chances to do better and you just don't, then I just don't respect your choices and truly think you must have rotted your brain out with shrooms or LSD or Xanax or fucking whatever.

Let's sayyyyyy they actually are great people (they aren't) they get engaged, get married, start a family, move into their own home, love each other unconditionally, admit to their past mistakes, agree to couple's counseling, put their kids in the best schools, have the best jobs, and go on regular date nights..... They have the perfect life. What's the con, you ask?

There is no con, I'll be living my best life rarely giving them a thought, like a random drop of rain on a perfectly sunny day, I'll have a thought, and then, right back to status quo 😎

Edit: 12/26/23

Remember what Faith said: Do you want to raise children with him? Do you want your kids to act like him when they grow up? Because he would be their role model. 😶😳🤯

Literally my best friend in the whole world I love her

[lakben-blog]

15 psychological facts about love #psychology #love

[personalpages]

RIP Twenties?

Today I spent my last day in my twenties. For a while I've been wondering how I would feel when this day would enevibilty happen. When we're in our twenties it feels like it's going to last forever, so what's the rush? Thankfully I decided to do everything I could whilst I could and I've achieved a lot on my personal bucket list. However... I am NOT where I wanted to be as I step into my thirties. No how. I still live with my parents, I work part-time in a job I don't want and I'm single with no kids. By this point in my life I thought I'd be in a whole different chapter. Own place, married, at least one kid if not 2 & a full-time job I love.

Because of my past traumas, I lost myself somewhere in my twenties and I became someone I didn't recognise and I had to learn how to be this new me. It was like becoming a whole different person but not wanting to let go of who I was. I felt like I was trying to be someone else, like this other person isn't me but someone I envied. Looking back at photos and social media memories I wonder if I'm really lost or just evolving like a Pokémon. I have so many stories and memories from my twenties and so many experiences to share that you have to ask yourself, "is this a funeral for my twenties?" because those moments will always live on and they will probably be recreated in some way. Maybe this is a refresh button?

It's only the end of another chapter... Not the book.

[skippyv20]

Skippy, thanks for reposting from ThoughtsTherapy blog. Just when I feel down and out, you are on point with the inspirational readings and prayers. Keep my anxiety in check. Thank you and the beautiful people out there for reaching out to invisible strangers. ❤️

Oh you are so welcome!  I have just started following that blog.  I am so happy you find it helpful.  🙂❤️❤️❤️❤️