#i wasn't looking at any references of rise backgrounds and it shows

[grey-viridian]

Aaand a little bit of process

[nrdmssgs]

A heart full of pity (part 2)

Masterlist Part 1

Part 3 Part 4 (final)

Angst, hurt/comfort

Pairing: Nik x unnamed afab OC

Summary: He wishes there was another way to make her not give up and fight on. He wishes, he could make it better. But there are habits, that proved being effective. Habits and patterns that make him harm even those, he deeply cares about

TW: Mention of physical injury (burns). Inaccurate description of military operations. Swearing. Mental abuse (manipulation. none of characters is left happy with it.)

Authors note: I still don't try to praise Russian culture. This time I tried to show, how FSB background can make someone cold, unsettling even cruel in a way. FSB in real life is still bad. Nikolai is a unique character, he does not represent any realities of life in Russia or work in the FSB. I don't romanticize Russia or FSB in real life. This is just fiction. I don't intend to harm anyone with it.

Thanks: @homicidal-slvt is still an absolutely incredible person, who helped me start this all. But there is also @sofasoap who created Lastochka series. If you have time for only ONE work to read today - please go and read Lastochka.

She woke up in another life, distant and long forgotten. The light shone even through her closed eyelids, turning the darkness into a bright red. Some familiar scent tingled her nose, muffled but also strangely familiar sounds echoed somewhere deep in the flat. It was as if she was again just twelve, caught up cold and had to stay home. No school for her today, no worries - just a slow lazy morning, loads of tea with honey and lemon, and if she's lucky enough to have a fever - unlimited raspberry jam. Her peaceful slumber was distracted only by a strange pulling sensation, sending waves of pain from her ankles along both sides of the hips to her waist. But she yet couldn't decide if the pain was worth of any worry: it wasn't that bad anyway. 

That was until she heard a soft rumbling voice from somewhere above. “I like it when you smile.” And just like that the illusion is gone: she gradually recalls everything, that happened prior. Now, when her mind traced all the way back to the reason behind the pain - it washes over her body again, making her wince, opening her eyes. “My oh my… and I remember times, when women kept happy expressions, seeing me beside their beds.” Nik tilts his head and raises eyebrows. “How many of them were in my condition?” She watches him rise, move the stool to the bed, and leave the room.

“None that I can recall…” He comes back in a minute with a lightly steaming bowl. “So you say, if it wasn't for your condition, you'd be beaming?” “I say…” She slowly rises on a bed with Niks help. “If it wasn't for my condition - I wouldn't end up in this bed.” “Ouch. Breaking my heart right there.” Nikolai chuckles softly. Of course, he is joking deliberately, and it's a good sign, she reacts. Although her motions are slow and shaky - she manages to eat almost the whole bowl, so he can give her ‘the desert’, which consists of a good pile of analgesics. “How much time do I have?” She doesn't need to explain any further - Nik knows exactly what she's referring to. “I've talked to Price this morning, you have about an hour. And… the whole operation is just your call now. I'm ready whenever you are.” Her face changes as if she's just stumbled upon something, hit against an invisible wall. She closes her eyes, slowly breathes in and answers, ‘don't be ridiculous. I'm done for. I'll admit, I've fucked up, and he'll send someone better to lead the whole thing’. Nikolai gives her a heavy long look. Suddenly, all the jokes and playfulness are drenched from the room. She feels smothered with a guilt building up inside and can't make herself look back him in the eyes. “I'm sorry in advance.” Nik leaves her wondering, what was he actually meaning. After some time, he brings a big mirror from the hallway. It's covered with dust and has a few chips on the edges. She tries to find out, what is he up to, but he exits the room once again and comes back with another mirror - a much smaller one, that he gives her.

“I was wondering, why did they leave us be?” Nikolai gently guides her to rise and sit on the edge of the bed, facing him. It doesn't happen in one swift motion, because her wounds are still fresh, so he proceeds “We were such an easy target, when this all happened, it must have pained them to not hit us…” As Nik speaks, she leans on his shoulder and slowly straightens her back, finally meeting his gaze fixed on something behind her. “And as much as I want to believe, It's because they don't want to become my personal targets, I must admit - their reasoning goes far beyond that.” He tucks under the bandages covering her torso and starts undoing them gently. “Nikolai, don't bother, I can change those by my-” He cuts her out by just glancing down in her eyes. His gaze is cold, distant. “Sit still for me and listen. Those bastards put Molotovs in children hands not to end you.” Nik reveals her bare back from under layers of the bandage and guides a small mirror in her hands so that she can see every detail of what exactly she now looks like. “They wanted to make a point, send Price a clear message. ‘Mess with us and this is what happens. You are powerless here, your people are nothing but meat to be roasted. We'll make them suffer so hard, they'll forget, who they were, they'll return to you broken only for you to blame yourself for that. It will hurt even to glance at them’. Now, as I said, it's your call. But you should ask yourself if their message is to be delivered.” She listens to him, seeming calm, not tearing her eyes from a little mirror. But Nikolai knows very well, what his words are doing to her: her heartbeat rose, her pupils slowly widen. It isn't the first time he has to manipulate someone, but this time it leaves him with such an disgusting aftertaste, that he is genuinely grateful when she asks him to leave her alone for the call.

Out on the street, he desperately searches for anything to distract himself: first, he checks the backyard of the house where they took refuge, then leaves it, blends with the crowd and wanders forward aimlessly. It's strange, he used to manage it much easier, but now he had a heavy heart. It was a really long time, since he felt that bad for hurting someone. Was it in her interest? Probably. Was it worth it? That he would find out later. Would he do such a thing to her ever again? Not even if she begs him to.

Nikolai keeps roaming around, his mind is fogged, but his body seems to find ways across the town automatically. In a couple of hours he finds himself leaning against the door of their flat, looking down on a small bag of tangerines, which he brought for some reason. He questions himself, what was his idea behind that. “Hey, I know, you are down, in pain and you can't leave a bed. And it was cruel to say all the things, I have, but I needed you to not give up on this mission, and I only had this one shot to make things right. Anyway, here are some tangerines, please don't hate me”? Nik winces of a mere thought of such an explanation.

He leaves a bag on the kitchen counter and heads to the bedroom. It is silent there, rare sunbeams are swaying and flickering along the faded wallpaper above the bed. She scribbles something frantically in a little notebook and doesn't even look at him, until he gets down to meet her gaze. “We have two weeks. I've convinced Price, we can pull this through.” She knows what Nikolai was hoping to hear and doesn't make him wait for it, but he doesn't leave right after he got the news. “Prosti*.” He reaches out to her, but his hand freezes as she answers. “You did the right thing, so no hard feelings, Nik.” She smiles, but her gaze is hollow, lacking of any emotion. He wishes, she instead slapped him in the face, shouted at him or at least told him go fuck himself for being like that to her - at this point anything would be better than her empty eyes and fake smile.

For a first couple of days, she is working on a plan constantly, not leaving her bed. Nikolai practically has to drag notebooks, printed charts and maps out of her hands every night just to make her sleep a bit. He still helped her here and there with bandages, cooked for her, and just tried to always be somewhere around in case she needed him. But little by little her strength returns, and the movements cause less and less pain. 

One evening, Nik is sitting in the living room, half asleep to the blaring of the TV, when he hears shuffling footsteps behind. She comes in  holding notes in one hand and a pencil in the other and sits down on the couch next to him. Nikolai immediately reaches for the remote control to turn off the TV, but she stops him. "Let it mumble. I don't understand the language anyway, so it doesn't distract me." She looks over her notes for a while, then sets them down on the coffee table and tries to concentrate on a show instead, constantly shifting her weight, trying to get into a position where her back wouldn't touch the back of the couch. He watches her for a while, and then in one motion he puts her legs over his knees, so she leans sideways on the back of the couch. “Better?” She smiles at his question. ”This way I'm going to break my neck trying to enjoy what ever is going on there.” Nik chuckles, extending one arm and cradling her lightly, so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and watch the show in peace. “Stop acting like a piece of furniture. You are not a cushion to rest on.” Her voice is sleepy. “I was aiming more for acting like a gentleman. And your head doesn't turn me into a pillow.” They keep watching the TV in silence for some time, but then Nik starts explaining her, what is going on and why the audience is laughing. At some point, he looks down and meets her gaze. “Thank you, Nik.” She didn't look away and, noticing his puzzled expression, added. “For saving my useless ass.”

“Still trying to be a gentleman here, little one… So you are not dragging me into commenting on your ass.” 

***

She towers over the table, dragging fingers down a map and cursing under her breath. Line after line, she draws invisible ornaments along the streets. But it seems that every path keeps failing her. Nikolai understands, it's not safe to interrupt her right now, but he can't stand another minute of her desperation. “Show me where are we stuck.” He leans down to the table besides her. “It's not that I practically have to orchestrate a street riot here. It's that there are just the two of us.” She irritably touches the tip of her pencil to several intersections. "I'm barely moving, I won't have time to intercept them in these places. And you can't do it alone." Nick covers his face with hands and hisses. "C`mere." He takes her hand and leads her to a chair. "Sit down. And please listen to me." She limply sinks to the edge of the seat, Nikolai leans closer. “Price sent me to help you, not because of my pretty eyes. He said you needed a fixer, remember? Well, great news: you have a one now. I’ll get you anything you need, arrange any meeting. You need people? I'll gather you a fucking army. Need arms? Name it and I'll have it wrapped in a gift paper for you by the morning. Need to burn this nest of filth? I'll get you matches. Now stop thinking about what we are lacking and use me for gods’ sake!” His deep, rumbling voice sounds menacing: it's high time she found a place for him in this operation. “Tell me then, fixer…” A small, vague smile appears on her lips. “Are you up for a ride?’

***

This is yet one of the strangest scoutings, he has ever taken part in. Their car creeps in silence along the central streets past dark windows. The city has long fallen asleep, and at this late hour the two of them do not meet anyone on the streets. She occasionally taps his shoulder - a sign to stop the car. Then she exits on the street, claps her hands loudly for a few times and stands there still, listening to the echoes. But it didn't bother Nikolai, since every time she returned with a satisfied grin. When they are back at home, curiosity gets the better of him. “What sort of gig are you planning?” “A little song for my fixer to sing along. Don't worry, I'll take you on a soundcheck.”

Days and nights of preparation followed. They hardly saw each other: Nikolai gathered reliable people, prepared locations, and she kept working on her putting together mechanisms, mixing substances and correcting their plan.

***

Nik wakes her up in the middle of the night before the operation. They silently drink coffee in the kitchen, get ready and leave for the improvised intel center, he arranged for her to lead the operation from. 

“Nikolai, this hardly fits the definition of a secluded place, away from prying eyes.” She looks around the spacious, empty room, with a panoramic view of the city center. In other circumstances, she wouldn't be bothered by working in an unfinished skyscraper in the center of the city. But this building is literally in full view of everybody. “Saved the best seat for you. Besides, you know what they say: the best place to hide something is in plain sight.” Nik helps her to arrange remote controls and checks the room once more. Despite still having troubles moving around much and suffering from pains, she looks surprisingly content, walking along a huge window. 

“I'm leaving you my jacket in case it gets too cold.” She didn't answer, so Nikolai comes closer. “You ok?” Something disturbingly jolly flickers deep in her eyes. Something unkind. Something sadly familiar to him after many battles. “I'm fine. Go, we have a nest to burn there.” “Just promise me to sit here and don't get reckless, ok? I want to come here, when it's all over and find you right in this room, safe and sound” He lightly pats her shoulder, trying to get any answer.

“I'll be safe and sound, that's a promise.”

***

From the outside, it might look like a pure chaos: angry shouts, tossed stones flying forward, an irritated crowd growing every minute. But a few people in the crowd know that what is happening on the street isn't the result of a combination of random circumstances. This is a trap set by the hands of an invisible hunter, snares placed in the path of prey. An invitation and a dare.

Nikolai isn't sure that the 'crackers' would have the desired effect, and gradually rounds the perimeter of the crowd like a shepherd. But when the first one goes off behind him with a deafening crack, his first instinct, overtaking common sense, is to duck. A series of loud pops really resemble the echo of shots. His people in the crowd, knowing that this was a signal for them, hurry, dragging the crowd forward with them. Every time the crowd reaches a new intersection, another batch of crackers drives people in the right direction. The first rumors that civilians were being shot at spread almost instantly. Nik couldn't help but grin at the ideal timing and effect her little sound traps had on the crowd. In a way, this really feels like a song. A quite sinister one, but it still reminded him, they are together in this.

When the crowd rounds up the building, that she and Nik called ‘the nest’ - he knows exactly what is she doing right now. Forehead pressed to a cold window, fingers clasping around her elbow in anticipation, eyes glued to an outline of the building, he is standing in front of. He can swear on his life, he almost feels her pulse picking up, her lips forming silent pleads. “Come on, come on…”

Her planing almost didn't leave him any job until now. Angry crowds gathered around the fence, blocked surrounding streets, raised the tension to the point of no return. All Nik and his people are left to do is just to wait patiently, till civilians distract the security. But once it actually happens, he feels his heart rushing. He can finally break in, take place in the game, she tinkered so intricately. Nikolai takes one last look at the skyscraper darkening in the distance and smiles as he passes the fence and disappears into the shadows of the building.

“Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya.*”

***

She doesn't celebrate too early, when some footsteps echo in the back of the stairwell. It could be him, could be anyone else as well. While the sound is still far, she sits down on a chair facing the only entrance to the room and cocks the trigger. Her position is open, vulnerable - Price would kill her by himself if he has ever seen her like that. But at the end of this day, that seemed to last forever, she is powerless: her limbs are trembling, her mind is fogged. She was clearly not in the right condition to lead the operation.

Nikolai finds her clutching his jacket to her chest with one hand and holding the entrance to the room at gunpoint with the other. At this point she can't even sit straight and he feels sorry. He stops and lifts both hands.

“Eto ya, ne perezhivai.*” His voice makes her loudly exhale and slowly lower the gun. She bends over and buries her face in the heavy folds of his jacket for a few moments. His hand covers her back, careful enough to not touch the blisters formed on the scorched skin.

Nik gives her time to calm down and doesn't speak till she lifts her face once again to him. “Are we happy?” To have him back in one piece can already be counted as a success, but she needs to make sure, the mission is not failed this time.

“Oh, you don't have an idea…” Nikolai smiles enigmatically and hands her a folder. "You closed that jar of spiders and shook it so well that they began to rip off each other's heads. The main gift for the captain is on the way, and this is a small bonus. We'll give it to him personally."

She quickly looks through the folder and her eyes slowly widen. “Nik… Did you read it? Do you know what it means?..”

“M-hhm, the plot is fun, but overall style… not to my liking.” He says this with a completely deadpan face and sinks to the floor by her chair, quietly relieved that she, albeit silently, is laughing at his joke. “Anyway,” he adds, “What do you think: a red or a golden one?”

“W-what?” She stops reading and looks back at him, as he pulls out two dusty cheap plastic ribbons tied in bows: one red and the other - golden. “Wanna bring Price that fancy gift? Might as well pack it.” She looks from the ribbons, he put in her free hand, to his face. “Considering the specifics of our team… red would be somewhat vulgar, Nikolai.” He closes eyes, leans his forehead against her knee and his shoulders shake with muttered laughter. “You have a point there, little one. God, it reminded me of an old dumb joke, they've told us back when I've worked in Copenhagen.” Nik cuts himself off, understanding, that she probably won't find it as funny, but she encourages him to go on. “Ok, so, a tourist from the USA walks down the street in Moscow. He looks around and doesn't notice a huge hole right on his path. Naturally, he falls down. A policeman pulls him out and the tourist asks why they didn’t surround the pit with a red tape, or at least didn’t mark it with little flags. The policeman answers him: ‘Comrade, when did you cross the border of the Soviet Union - did you see those freaking huge red flags?’”

For some time she just sits there and watches him, but after a few very long moments, she leans down, cups his face smeared with dust and speaks deeply serious. “This is the worst joke, please never tell it to anybody.” And before he finds the right words to answer her - she busts out laughing, hugging him tightly. There is so much in her embrace: highly-strung nerves, hidden pain and sorrow, untold fears - so many things, one shouldn't contain in an embrace. But Nik doesn't mind it at all as long as it makes her burden bearable: in fact, he is happy to be there for her.

*Prosti. (Russian) - Forgive me, please.

*Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya. (Russian) - This is for you. Look, my dear.

*Eto ya, ne perezhivai. (Russian) - Don't worry, it's me.

[shayerathals]

honestly been wanting to rant about this for a while but I truly do think the john stewart/shayera hol ship ended up damaging their characters rather than helping them.

to start, john was originally an architect before the justice league show gave him the military background. since geoff johns worked on one of the episodes in jlu, it was clear he was a jlu fan & basically incorporated that into comic john. by doing so, we ended up with one of the worst written john stewarts in history, a john that was so patriotic and explicitly said that he was willing to kill people for america. while gj does get backlash for how he was written from john fans, I do think jl + jlu should be incorporated in that too as it was what started the military origin in the first place. it's true that the show led to john's popularity but outside of that, it didn't really benefit him in the comics. plus the main reason the origin was given was because they wanted him & shayera to have something to relate to in the show which was very stupid considering john was already apart of the glc. but apparently that wasn't enough? and then there's bruce timm being the weirdo that he is, he apparently didn't like john's origin in the comics cause it addressed racism like one time. as if anyone was even asking him to do that???

despite her rising popularity from the shows, dc instead decided to kill shayera off while jlu was airing during pre-n52. I do think this also links to jl + jlu having shayera go by hawkgirl instead of her comic alias, hawkwoman. i was actually surprised when I first read that comic shayera despised being called hawkgirl & I will never understand why the show proceeded to call her that. all it did was confuse people since kendra had arrived to comics two years before the show aired. it was clear that kendra had taken all the hawkgirl hype as she was the person who actually went by that alias in the comics.

now I'll actually dissect the ship. for the record, I am well aware that this is an alternate universe, but despite this, I still think the ship did more damage than good to the gp's perception of these characters.

like I said, the build up towards john/shayera was genuinely good. it was the classic slowburn between partners, then friends, to lovers. but the problem is, they had to retcon a lot of shayera's background in order to make the relationship actually work. you see, the jl crew was originally planning on making katar hol (hawkman) the villain who initiates the invasion & physically abuses shayera. anyone who has read hawkworld + any comic of katar/shayera altogether would know how insanely out of character this would have been for him, and for the sake of this post, I'll be referring to his hawkworld characterization. the crew ended up pushing the idea back not because of how ooc it was, but because they were scared of the backlash from comic fans. in the comics, shayera was assigned as katar's partner in the thanagarian force, except that the thanagarian government wanted shayera to specifically spy on katar prior to their plans for an invasion. the thanagarian government knew katar would most likely resist their ideas & wanted shayera to tell them everything she finds out about him. when the betrayal was revealed, this obviously hurt katar. shayera ended up disobeying due to her developing feelings for katar & together, they stopped the invasion. the invasion in question was also being initiated by shayera's corrupt father and when you look back at it, the show was kind of bland in comparison. the show CONSTANTLY reduced shayera's character in regards to her being a love interest, not once did we ever get a moment where we actually discovered what her life on thanagar was like. which is what the hawkworld comics did. my point is: if you have to ruin a character to make a relationship work, then maybe the ship just isn't good.

and honestly this is me being nice in my analysis because nothing about john/shayera was even original writing wise. most if not all aspects of their relationship were stolen from katar/shayera relationship in the hawkworld comics and anyone who actually read them would agree with me on this.

one key point that bothered me in regards to jlu was the origin they had given shayera regarding her reincarnations. while dwayne mcduffie revealed that bashari doesn't actually exist & that it was john/shayera's feelings messing with the asbsorbacron, it's obviously not the case for the eyes of the gp. the irony is that jlu stans tend to complain about hawkman/shayera, talking about how boring it is since they're reincarnations when jlu ended up doing the same thing for john/shayera, by having chay-ara cheat on katar with bashari. this + their son, rex stewart, was jlu's way of saying john/shayera were always destined for each other. this isn't any different from the reincarnation cycle regarding the hawks, but for some reason, it is to some. what I find funny is that people genuinely believe that john/shayera pushes shayera in a 'solo spotlight' by keeping her away from the reincarnation process. when all it did was tie her down to it again but with a different man. the inclusion of bashari + rex stewart basically got rid of what could've made john/shayera's relationship interesting for shayera as a character. john's motivations to possibly get back with shayera suddenly weren't his own, which was why he stayed with vixen. it's also ironic that shayera was upset about this because like I said, jlu stans were saying that john/shayera pushed her in a solo spotlight despite the show tying her down to another reincarnation cycle.

i don't know if I can even stomach what they did to katma, that's literally his WIFE in the comics but the gp just considers her a fling now.

what's frustrating to me about john/shayera as a ship is that the ship altogether was done for nothing in the end. people might be wondering why john/shayera are never included for comics in main continuity. the answer is simple. dc editorial doesn't allow comic writers to include them. the irony is john/shayera was the only couple on the show that had the crew arguing with each other because not even they knew what to do with them lol. it was actually confirmed that a lot of the crew turned their back on the ship after the ancient history episode was revealed and that was when they began to despise the couple because they believed the comic reincarnation backstory being massacred was unnecessary (which is completely valid tbh).

comic writers have spoken about their love for the couple but being unable to write stories for them. wonderbat gets some content in main continuity so it's clear that dc editorial specifically has beef with john/shayera, which is why I think the ship was such a waste in the end. the ship is clearly popular with the gp but what was the point of pushing aside their canon love interests to the point where the gp's perception of their love lives is also skewed if the editorial in question doesn't even want to acknowledge them? as a comic fan, I'm simply annoyed that they couldn't have just been with their canon love interests instead of this mess.

*also i was confused in where people had gotten the idea that hawkman himself is egyptian (as aldis hodge was receiving backlash for being casted as carter hall) & it turns out that jlu was also responsible for this lol. I want to add that comic katar hol post-crisis was not egyptian, he had a native american mother & a thanagarian father. he wasn't even egyptian in the show, jlu had given the hawks an extremely racist/orientalist background where they were white passing thanagarians who crashed into earth and had taken over an Egyptian civilization of Black & brown people. and yes i say white passing cause they were still a different skin tone from the actual Egyptians and not even Bruce Timm's art style could hide that. just so many unnecessary changes when the comics were never like that.

this video also perfectly explains why their relationship went downhill: https://youtu.be/LgCjhZfJ704

[manjeeth-salian]

Studio Lighting in Unreal. Part – 04

The first shot would be wheel of the car. This introductory shot introduces the brand of the car so the viewers know exactly which brand, However, we will not show which exact model it is until the end. The first of the animations would be just a zoom out shot of the wheel. It would have lighting, which would help to make it easier to focus on, and the logo.

Second shot is once again about the brand name. This time I wanted to showcase more of the titanium tipped exhaust system of the car and the rear carbon fiber diffuser with lil bit of lens flare at the end of the shot.

Third shot is to show the side body line of the car but I wanted the light to move from the back to the front to highlight the body line. I used Rect light to animate the light movement.

For the fourth shot the main focus was on the head lamp. The result was that the other areas were a bit darker and the focus wasn't lost.

The fifth shot got somehow interesting, and I wanted to keep the camera movement as per the music, but music had this sound effect so I moved the camera accordingly. I moved the camera so that you can see the scoop. It’s not easy to achieve this shot. This is the kind of shot where the focus is on the hood scoop. I didn't want any other parts to get lit up, so I lit the part with a light behind the scene to make it look deep and interesting. That way I could add directional lights to highlight the scoop edge.

Sixth  shot is to showcase the beautiful rear wheel arch. I added a rim light to highlight the curve. There is some light movement with lens flare to show the rear wheel arch.

Seventh shot is to showcase the interior. This shot has the lighting that is neutral, but I added a bit of lens flare at the top right corner.

Eighth shot is again the interior of the car but this time focus is on the seat with leather texture. For the McLaren logo on the head rest I used decals in Unreal.

The composition of the 9th sounded similar to the composition of the 5th piece. Therefore, the 9th was created by the camera movement from back of the car to head rest area as per the music.

Tenth shot is a very important shot. In this shot, we see car is fully revealed. I kept my camera at front left 3/4th angle and moving upward. The idea of lighting design was to make the car body line more visible and make it easier to understand the shape of the car. Since the car has a dark green color and dark colored floor, there would not be an obvious edge of the car visible. I used a blue color rect light on the floor so that the car would stand out.

In the eleventh shot one of the main things in this scene is to show the front of the car and the front end of the car. Since the previous ones had been shot under blue light, I'm using that lighting again for the very same reason as the previous shot.

Twelfth shot is to showcase the rear with a really complicated-looking bumper with diffuser, and lighting was done to showcase these elements. The light movement was done as per the music.

Thirteenth shot once again is more about the brand showcase at the front of the car.

The fourteenth shot of this video is to showcase different colors of the car. In total, there are 7 different colors changing in this shot. These colors were rendered separately and then composited in After Effects. In the end I switched off some lights, only kept the one that was used to emphasize the body lines.

In this project, I used mostly directional lights and a few rect lights.

The video shows that all of the lights were separately added for each scene. After each scene all the lights used in that particular scene were switched off and new set of lights were added for the next shot. It was intended, so if there are edits to be done later, they will be much easier to do then.

Here is the final output video.

references: materials:

www.youtube.com. (n.d.). Tension Trailer No Copyright Background Music for Video / Rising Darkness by soundridemusic. [online] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIYG9pgwjdg [Accessed 12 Jan. 2023].

Unreal Engine. (n.d.). Material Collection Bundle (2021) in Materials - UE Marketplace. [online] Available at: https://www.unrealengine.com/marketplace/en-US/product/material-collection-bundle.

Jones, E. (2021). 2021 McLaren Elva for Sale in XP Green. [online] duPont REGISTRY Daily. Available at: https://blog.dupontregistry.com/for-sale/2021-mclaren-elva-for-sale-in-xp-green/ [Accessed 12 Jan. 2023].

ArtStation. (n.d.). David Baylis. [online] Available at: https://href.li/?https://www.artstation.com/davidbaylis [Accessed 12 Jan. 2023].

ArtStation. (n.d.). Damian Bilinski. [online] Available at: https://href.li/?https://www.artstation.com/plasti [Accessed 12 Jan. 2023].

Artstation.com. (2018). [online] Available at: https://cdn-animation.artstation.com/p/video_sources/000/833/209/02-f122-ann-ultra-1.mp4 [Accessed 15 Jan. 2023].

‌ Artstation.com. (2023). [online] Available at: https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/051/451/613/large/damian-bilinski-918-04-as.jpg?1657314647 [Accessed 15 Jan. 2023].

Artstation.com. (2023). [online] Available at: https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/048/325/560/large/damian-bilinski-cam-3-0001.jpg?1649769711 [Accessed 15 Jan. 2023].

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[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Shades of Winter - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You finally get to meet James Bucky Barnes. You two are an instant click but would this eventually lead to something good or something bad?

Word Count: 3140

Warnings: The reader talks about past memories such as: kidnapping, torture, starvation, violence. A bit of angst. Also If you like the Hobbit movies, I'm so sorry (yes this is tw) Also if there is anything else let me know.

Author’s Note: A little bit more in-depth on who y/n is in my Bucky fics. Other than that this has been in my archives for a hot minute so.

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! But please, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

It has been a couple of years since you returned to the Avengers Quarters. You had been on the run before the blipped happened. But you have finally told yourself that enough is enough. You always knew that the Avengers would be your family, so you decided to go back to them.

The first person you were excited to see after a while was Sam. So, you decided to go to his hometown and give him a visit.

When you arrived, you notice that there was a party. You felt a little bit left out. But you pushed those feelings aside since Sam didn’t know that you were coming along as well.

Once you laid your eyes on Sam, you knew that you needed to sneak up on him and scare him.

There was loud music playing in the background, so you took that as an advantage. You quietly sneak up to Sam, getting on your toes as you try to cover his eyes.

Sam turns around, putting up his guard. When he notices that you tried to sneak up on him, you could see the relief on his face. He didn’t think twice but to hug you. “Where have you been? You go incognito mode and don’t visit me. I’ve been worried about you.”

You hug him back, “I just needed a break from the world and traveled a bit.” You chuckled a little bit. “But I’m back and better than ever.”

He starts to ramble as you two catch each other up on everything that has happened the past couple of years. You two start to walk up to the docks. You notice how beautiful it was with the sun setting how the sun reflected on the water. You were amazed.

“Hey, I’ll be back. Do you want anything to eat?” Sam pointed to the table that had nothing but plates of food in it. Your small smiled formed on your face as you shook your head.

Walking around, you notice so many little kids running around and having fun. It was such a positive place to be. You could feel the aura around you just filled with joy.

Without noticing where you were walking, you bump into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ you look back at him. The first thing that you noticed was his ocean blue eyes. You could stare at those eyes for hours.

Breaking the eye contact, you took a few steps back so that you wouldn’t be close to him anymore. “I’m Bucky.” He places his hands in the pockets of his black jean jacket. There was a smirk on his face.

“uh, y/n” you had a confused smile on your face.

“y/n,” Bucky says in a deep flirty tone of voice, he looks around, and that smirk became a smile. “I’ll see you around y/n,” he winked as he walked away.

Why did your name sound so much better when he said it. Something about him made you curious. You were on the fence if whether or not you wanted to know more about him or just let him be a mystery. But either way, you knew the moment you bumped into him, Bucky was going to become a trouble.

During the blip, when you helped, there would be moments that Steve would tell stories of Bucky when they were younger. In those stories, Steve would describe him as the most caring friend and always attached to a book such as The Hobbit.

Throughout the day, you would occasionally interact with Bucky. He would ask you random questions such as what your favorite color was? What flowers did you like? He wanted to get to know you.

“So, you are telling me that I should watch the movies and how there are three of them.” Bucky takes a sip of his drink.

You chuckled a little bit “yes, I like the book versions better. But it’s so nice seeing them come to life.”

“I’ll make a note of that, Doll.”

Going back home, you never expected to talk to Bucky again. You didn't have any of his contact information either way, and he didn't have yours.

A couple of days pass by when you receive a message from an unknown number.

10:38 AM "hey there, are you busy this afternoon?"

You decided to ignore the message; it might have been sent to someone else instead of you.

10:45 AM "shit, sorry, It's Bucky."

The moment that you read that, it was Bucky that sent you that message. You wondered how he got your number. Could it have been Steve? Sam? Nat? That gave him your number.

These thoughts were running through your head and were interrupted by that number calling you.

"So, are you busy this afternoon?"

"No, Hi, how are you? How is life? Just going right to asking me what I'm doing this afternoon, what a great start James." You said in an annoying tone of voice.

"Hi, Doll. How are you? There is that better," he said in a mocking voice. Even though you couldn't see him, you could tell that he was rolling his eyes.

You wanted to hang up, but a part of you didn't want to do it. "So much better, thank you." You said sarcastically. "I'm doing nothing later. I'm probably just going to go home and make some dinner."

"You can always say no. But I just bought the three Hobbit movies, and I wondered if you wanted to watch them with me? And Tony is throwing a party tomorrow, and I thought if you wanted to go."

This took you by surprise, it hasn't been an entire week of knowing him, and he is already asking you over to his apartment. "Yeah, that would be fun," you said once again sarcastically. You didn't mean to sound it like that.

When you agreed that you would watch the series with him and to the party, a part of you knew that you had done something you might regret in the long run, but the other part you wanted to see where this would take you, and you wanted to explore it. Something about him made you curious, and you wanted to know why. Why, out of all the people that you had met, he is the one that sparks curiosity in you.

Once again, these thoughts are interrupted by him "I didn't hear a no, so I'm assuming you said yes. I'll send you my address. Meet me here in two hours." He hangs up.

Two hours pass by, and you were unsure what to bring, so you brought a couple of snacks. Walking into Bucky's apartment, there weren't many decorations. It seemed like he had just moved in. There wasn't much besides a small sofa and a tv. It was a very dark place with little to no light coming through.

Bucky notices that you were looking around "sorry if I had more time, I would have cleaned a bit better."

Your eyes widen as you were confused. You look around once again. His place was way cleaner than what your apartment looked like. "you consider this dirty. You should see mine" Bucky goes near the light switch and turns on the lights of the kitchen.

The instant he turned on the lights, that's when you notice what he was wearing. He was wearing a white muscle shirt with a pair of gym shorts, and his hair was messy, and you were able to tell that he had a couple of curls.

If heart eyes were a thing, you would have had them at this exact moment. Bucky was way more handsome than he was when you first met him. As the thoughts continued through your head, you knew that you needed to stop them before you ended up drooling over him.

He points to his bedroom. "I'm going to go change. I have to hide this." He was referring to his left arm. He wasn't sure how you would react to it, and he thought that he should have worn something to cover it before you decided to show up.

You grab the wrist of his metal arm. "It's okay. I don't mind. Besides that, I think it makes you more attractive" the moment that the word attractive escaped your mouth, you could feel your cheeks turn red and your body heat rise. Why did you say that? Especially towards him. Your mind was full of regrets, but at the same time, you didn't care because he was truly attractive.

Bucky covers his mouth with his right hand, trying to cover his laugh. You playfully hit his arm "this isn't funny, Bucky. I'm so close to turning around and making you watch the Hobbit alone." You crossed your arms together. You were getting annoyed with him. All you wanted to do was come over and watch movies with him.

"Fine, I'll stop. But it doesn't mean that I'm not going to hold this against you." Bucky chuckled.

Bucky goes to his bedroom, brings a blanket, and tries to ensure that his place can be as cosey as possible, even though it was dark.

Halfway through the third movie, you could see that he was extremely disappointed. If he could rate the movie, you would 100% be sure he would give it a -1000 rate. "Why the fuck did Peter tell me that these were great. They are complete garbage" Bucky raises his voice. Deep down, he did enjoy the movies. He just wanted to see a reaction out of you. But you were calm since this was your 5th time watching these films.

You couldn't help but laugh at how disappointed Bucky was. He turns to face you and notices the face of amusement you had on "this isn't a joke, Doll. I thought they would be great." He rolls his eyes.

When the movie ended, he put on the sports channel and started to watch it. As much as you loved watching sports, you slowly went to sleep. You felt comfortable around him. It had only been a couple of days that you had met him, so you found it odd.

You fell asleep on his right shoulder. When Bucky felt that you placed your head on his shoulder, a small smile formed on his face, he was unsure why he felt comfortable with you. But he knows that you were going to be one heck of trouble from now on.

Bucky looks at you and notices that you were fast asleep. He can't help but to carry you in his arms and take you to his bed. He made sure to tuck you in.

After he tucked you in, he went back to the living room and continued to watch his sports.

------------------

Around midnight, you woke up. Not because you had a nightmare, but because you felt like you were in an unknown location. As soon as you woke up, you panicked and started to look around. You immediately went into fight or flight mode in case If you were in danger. Walking outside of the bedroom, you notice Bucky was sleeping on the floor.

Seeing him on the floor, you drastically put your guard down. You sighed in relief that you were with him and no one else. You go into the kitchen to grab a mug to make yourself tea. When you prepared your tea, you went back to Bucky's bedroom and opened the window outside to let some fresh air in. You wrapped yourself with the blanket Bucky gave you, and you held your knees up to your chest as you drank from the mug.

This was the first time you had ever woken up without having a nightmare. You wondered why was it because of Bucky? As your thoughts were running, you could hear someone come into the room. You turn around and notice it was Bucky. "Someone is up early." He chuckled.

A smile formed on your face. "It looks like you are up early too" you rolled your eyes.

There was silence between you and him. You hated being silent, but with him, you didn't mind.

"Is everything alright?" Bucky whispered. You turn your head towards him, and you nodded. "you can tell me anything, you know." He places his hand on your shoulder.

You lift your eyebrows, unsure if he was messing around with you. "I just met you, like yesterday. Why would I-"

"Five days ago, to be exacted." He said in a snarky tone of voice as he interrupted you.

"Fine, you want to know.” You looked away from him because you knew you would start being vulnerable, and you didn't want to see Bucky's reaction or what face he was making. “For the longest time, I've had nightmares back-to-back. But oddly enough, tonight I didn't have any."

"if you don't mind me asking," Bucky takes a big gulp before saying anything. He knew that you were a bit uncomfortable, and he didn't want to push you. "Why do you have nightmares?" "I used to have them constantly because of who I was. It took me time to understand that the winter soldier wasn't me, and jeez, till this day, there would be moments where I doubt myself, but I'm getting better."

Hearing him tell you a little bit of himself made you feel more at ease. You take a big breath before you start telling him why you would have these nightmares. "At a very young age, both of my parents were killed. My brother died as well, trying to protect us. One of the Hydra agents forcefully made me go to one of their camps. I fought for the first couple of months, trying to get out. But eventually, I gave up. I thought they provided me a roof to stay under, and even though they barely fed me, I was somewhat grateful. I could have it worse. They taught me how to fight, how to hold a gun, etc. When I was a teen, I was tortured, starved more than before, and experimented on."

He grabs your hand and tries his best to comfort you. He knew that this was a lot for you to tell him. "They wanted to see if they could make me into a mutant but with every little alternation of genetics. Nothing worked. Even if it did, I didn't want them to know about it. At that point, I just was numb; I didn't want to live anymore. So I let things happen to me. Hoping one day my body just gave up. Till this day, some of those things that they did I don't remember, nor I want to." You take a small pause as you heard yourself. You felt so comfortable telling him about your past.

Your voice started to crack as you thought more about your past. You tried your best not to cry. "After I escaped, I moved to Washington, Nat found me there, and I started to work at SHIELD. Nat was the only person that knew me and helped me get better."

Bucky was unsure how to react to what you had just told him. He had mixed emotions. He didn't know why he felt anger, sadness, grief, and disappointing feelings towards you. But he knew that it took you a lot of courage to tell him all of these things. He sits on the floor next to you and hugs you. The second that he hugged you, you couldn't help but cry. He was the second person to know your story. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I shouldn't have told you. You've been through much worse, and I wish you didn't-"

"Doll, don't apologize. None of this was your fault. I'm glad that you told me. We both didn't deserve anything of that." he held you for a couple of more minutes and let you cry. He wanted to tell you more, that he was glad that you left when you had the chance. That he hated that you were in that position, he wanted to comfort you. He couldn't find the words. So all he did was hold you.

After a couple of minutes, you were grateful that he listened to every word you said. But you were mentally exhausted, and you just wanted to go to bed. You got up and placed the cup on the nightstand, and started to get ready to leave. When Bucky grabs your arm, "stay the night, it's already late enough to walk around." His voice was small and a bit shaky. "You can stay in my bed, and I can sleep on the floor. Please stay."

You agreed to stay the night with him, and he goes to his closet and grabs you some clothes to sleep comfortably. They fit all baggy on you, but you didn't care. You didn't want to sleep uncomfortably. The moment you got out of the bathroom, Bucky chuckled as he looked how big his clothes looked on you. You ended up rolling your eyes.

Bucky laid on the floor next to his bed. As you were closing your eyes, you felt some guilt, so you look to where Bucky was lying. "Buck, come up here." You whispered.

"Nah, I'm comfortable sleeping on the floor." He turns around, facing away from you.

You grab a pillow and throw it to him "well, I'm not. So get your ass up here before I drag you."

"I would like to see you try, Doll." He chuckled. Once again, you threw another pillow at him, accidentally hitting his head. "Fine, I'm going." He grunted.

Lucky enough Bucky had a queen bed. So you had enough room for yourself and him. "One thing, don't invade my bubble, and we won't end up fighting. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go to sleep."

Within minutes you two were in a deep sleep.

-------------------------

When you two finally arrived at Tony’s Party. Bucky couldn’t help but be curious about what was happening between the two of you.

He couldn’t help it anymore. He decided to ask you, “So, what are we?”

“What do you mean what are we, Bucky?” there was a confused smile on your face.

“yeah, like are we friends, or I don’t know?” he nervously laughed, unsure if he should be asking this.

You laughed a little “Friends is a bit too much. I don’t think we are there yet.” You teased him. You gently punched his arm.

“Are we acquaintances?”

“I like that. We are for sure acquaintances.” You chuckled.

“you think it’s funny, but I can live with that, Doll.” He shrugs his shoulders.

And just like that, two strangers who never planned on caring for one another became the most inseparable pair.

[sailingintothenight]

“WANNABE.” T.H. Imagine.

And what if after years of chasing each other like a cat and mouse, you and Tom started to wonder if you wanna be something else in each other's life?

A/N: I am posting a one shot after weeks of writer's block. I hope you like it. It's 9:30 pm in Peru and it's still April 28, so it's still my birthday! Give it a try. Pleaseeeeee! And yes, I borrowed a scene from Mean Girls (Because I loveeee that movie)

“Hello God, it's me again, (y/n). What's up? I know we haven't talked much lately, but, hey, listen, I have a favor to ask you- I have behaved well, I haven’t gotten drunk at any crazy party of any Hollywood star and I haven't accepted drugs, ever: I'm afraid my grandmother will appear in my room as a ghost and pull my blankets in the middle of the night, plus, I haven't make out with any Stone-cold Hollywood hottie, and trust me, I've had more than one chance. Anyway, about the favor–”

"Yes, but (y/n)'s grandfather invited us to his birthday party..."

Tom's voice startles you and cuts off your internal dialogue, turning you back to the reality.

It’s 6 am. The sun shines in the clear sky, and you are on a flight back to England in a luxury privet jet that is about to arrive at the airport, while Haz, Harry, Tom and you are sitting in comfortable velvety seats, with the view of morning sky on your left side. 

The exciting memory of your last recording still seemed to run through your veins, too exciting to let you sleep. Because that was the end, the goodbye after incredible months. All your efforts from the past months were hidden behind that last performance that looked like a fantasy, except for the kiss, ugh, you had to erase it from your mind. But now, you're going back home, ready to take a break away from the set-up bridge and blue and green backgrounds, away from the makeup artists who gave your face the final touches of the magic of Hollywood, far from the suit of a superhero who had just won her last battle and who got the cute boy, Peter Parker.

But not far away from Tom Holland.

Because evil takes a human form in Tom Holland, your lifelong neighbor.

How do you even begin to explain Tom Ho– Stop, people say that if you pronounce his name 3 times a curse falls on you.

But fans say Tom Holland is flawless, you heard his curly hair is insured for 10,000 dollars, his favorite movie is “Spider-man Homecoming”, duh, and very soon, “far from home”. One time he met Robert Downey Jr. in his own village and he started hyperventilating, and once he threw a fan's phone on the floor and she said it was awesome.

"Please don't tell me you're going to his birthday party." You complain, because you can't help it.

"Would that bother you that much, darling?" Tom smiles, tilting his head back so that his tender smile fits perfectly with his tender face. “Then of course I will go. Also, your grandfather still has the hope his granddaughter would get a man like me.”

"Ew. Why would my dear grandfather want me to be with someone who enjoys keeping a frog in his mouth?" You ask, earning yourself an Oscar for best actress with the innocence you exude and the seriousness you manage to put on your face, even when Tom's eyes narrow from the attack you just launched, while, enjoying the show, his friend and his younger brother laughs, shaking heads with a familiar expression on their faces because of the familiar discussion between you and him that happens, every two or three days. "Seriously, Tom, give the poor Henry a break."

"Henry?" Tom asks with real confusion, his accent thick, while the other male voices ask it in a collective whisper too.

"I named your frog Henry, hope it doesn't bother you." And you laugh, victorious to feel how Tom exhales the air through his nose.

“Seriously, (y/n), when will you confess that you are in love with me? You don't have to be so shy, darling.” Tom laughs too, using his finger to tap your nose, because he knows perfectly well that you don't like that, just as you don't like being called darling anymore. “Ray is a wise man, you should listen to your grandfather."

"Yes, if you like skinny ones."

"I'm not skinny. I have the perfect body.” Tom defends himself.

"For now, but in a couple of years you will named your big belly as your dad does after drinking with mine." You laugh like a little girl because you love Dom, because he's warm and funny, because he loves his wife and children, and because of how funny he is when he and your dad have had too much alcohol, like the time they started a cartwheel contest in the middle of the street. "Who's there? It's Dom Junior.”

"Shut up! My dad is still sexy!” A heavy silence falls over the small place as everyone looks at Tom with furrowed brows and true confusion, but that's when he realizes the choice of words he used to refer to his dad. "That's not what I meant!"

You raise your hands in a sign of peace, your gaze avoiding his as you stop yourself from laughing and mocking him.

"That's so wrong, Tom." Harry says, with a certain bittersweet taste on the tip of his tongue. "Now because of you I won't be able to see dad's belly the same way."

Harry and Haz chuckle at Dom's expense.

But when the jet landed smoothly on the headlight-lit runway in the early hours of the morning, the heavy hours from the past months feels now as if they weighed the same as a feather, pain and exhausting sleepless nights disappeared in the blink of an eye, and now, there is no oceans that could make you feel far away, because in the end, you always came back home.

"Besides..." You say to finish that conversation, your backpack on your shoulder before making the victory path towards the stairs to get off the plane. "I would like a boyfriend who can grow a mustache, not like the failed attempt on your face. Thank you very much."

"Hey!" Tom frowns as you pass him by, and his voice rises even higher than it already is. "My doctor says it's just a hormone problem."

"Damn, bro..." Harry laughs as he puts an arm around Tom's shoulder, giving him a brotherly hug before walking out to the car waiting outside. “(Y/n) will be hard to catch, you know? But try it, maybe you will make it in this century."

Harry laughs, and then, walks out of the plane.

"What does that mean?" Tom asks Harrison, who is still waiting by his side.

"I think he meant that you are in love with (y/n), but you haven't noticed it yet."

Harrison chuckles, but after patting Tom on the back, he rushes to place a hand on his best friend's shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, mate… you, uh…” Tom's eyes soften, almost to the point where his brown eyes resembled the gaze of a little 5-year-old boy, sad, and lost. “You haven't told anyone why we came back, right?”

“Of course not.” Harrison says, and his gaze smiles just like his lips. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? We are home, you are home. You can take the time you need to rest.”

Tom nods, unsure, but tries to be strong as they both get off the plane. 

The gray autumn clouds hang with invisible strings in the sky as Tom Holland, actor, handsome, wealthy, and the loneliest person in the world, releases a deep breath that is lost among the sounds of the world, because his world is no longer sparkling or velvety thanks to the cameras or a red carpet, and while his new movie is a box office hit that never in his best dreams he would have imagined, something wasn't right for him.

That’s why he is back home.

The car ride is silent as some sleep, except you and Tom, because your eyes seem to recognize the streets you grew up in, because your hearts recognize your home. But for Tom, he recalls tilting his body to the left and a camera captured his best actor pose a week ago, but since then, his body has felt null, as if floating in the air and no longer responding to his orders. He was crystal clear, but a few people seemed to see clearly through him. Tom tries to convince himself that the tickling in his hands is his body's response to tiredness and not his anxiety, because he suffers it too, but he feels that something is eating his soul.

"Are you okay, Tom?"

Among a sea of ​​people, Tom Holland has always pretended to be an interesting person, but now, he takes a deep breath and looks at you, nervous, lost in the middle of that huge world, but you, looking back at him gives him peace, because he doesn’t feel alone anymore. 

What did you think? That someone is interested in knowing if you are really okay? Of course they care, right?

“Of course, darling.” Tom smiles, as if in a snap of fingers, everything is fine.

But there, he catches a movement of yours.

You tilt your head to the side, like his beloved Tessa when she is curious about something, but he doesn't say it out loud because you would take it the wrong way, but the movement in slow motion worthy of a Hollywood scene and the serenity of your gaze makes Tom hold his breath, that breath that previously didn't fit his chest with so many problems that he carried inside.

But suddenly he can breathe again, finally.

“Okay.”

The minutes pass until the car stops on a street that you two recognize perfectly. When everyone is out, the car leaves, but because your favorite boys are about to leave, too, you hug everyone as the promise to celebrate Harrison's birthday next week hangs in the air. You love them so much, because they are beautiful people who helped you to save yourself from the storms of doubts and fears, each of them in their own charming way, and for that, you were grateful.

"My friend Danielle is coming so I would like you to meet her, Haz." You chuckle adorably before leaving, noting that Harrison's smile is as real as his desire to meet her.

"I'm looking forward to it, darling."

"Wait, why he can call you darling?" Tom says, and for a second, you see a sparkle in the brightness of his eyes, but as the door of his house opens and his beloved Tessa runs to receive him, the confusion disperses like the morning haze.

"There she is the only darling you will ever get, Thomas."

And the moment you turn around, because the door of your house opens too, you lose sight of Tom's honest smile and the question that he hides behind his sweet eyes. Was he in love with you all this time without realizing it? And what if he wanna be your boyfriend? 

Oh, right. The favor that you were going to ask God for? To get you a boyfriend, a cute one, a hot one... maybe like Tom. Weird, isn't it?

Tag list: @galaxies-of-the-heart​

[keunayuya]

Hanggang sa Huli MV in Details

October 11, 2020 (Saturday) | 3:30 PM

It took me a lot of time to compose my thoughts about the production of Hanggang sa Huli MV because I really wanted to slice every detail I have seen after watching the MV for several times (for the stream counts!), and to put them together for a solid explanation why the MV was a bomb. You might get a little bored by reading this, but hmm.. I hope you give me time 🥰

So, should I start now?

SEQUENCING

The Hanggang sa Huli music video a kind of a short story cycle, focusing on 5 different love encounters. The clips are sequenced based on who sings the part of the song. It is intented to make the viewers arrange it into 5 independent stories with each of them having their own rising, falling, and conclusion sections.

This dynamic technique has beautifully made the whole MV interesting because it created another puzzle to the story: the timeline.

TIMELINE

If you had a hard time focusing on the sequence of the 5 stories, it's because there were three timelines: the years 2009, 2019, and 2034. The love encounters of the boys took place in different times but the MV portrayed them as if they were at the present and happening at the same time. HSH MV Timeline details were put in numerous parts of the stories.

Justin and Sejun were Junior High classmates in 2009. In 2019, Sejun and Josh rode the same bus. Josh encountered a kid at the playground, who was actually the daughter of his childhood friend. In 2034, that same daughter became Ken's love interest, whom he found out to be in a relationship when he saw her at a cafe where Stell worked.

The different timelines only shows that LOVE is timeless and eternal. It can happen anytime, anywhere.

ALAB REFERENCE

Let's go to the obvious one. The association of the song Alab in the MV can be seen in each plot:

Josh - Red ropes = Red string bracelet

Justin - Green background and frame = Blackboard

Sejun - Crumpled papers = Crumpled papers in the trash can

Ken - Metal cage = Metal fence

Stell - Signboard 'THIS WAY, START HERE' = Signboard with same words

In those specific clips, their love interests were also shown at the same frame:

Josh - He first saw the daughter of his childhood friend, Athena; the time when he gave the red string bracelet to the kid

Justin - Allyssa Kristine was about to tell him the news about the scholarship while he was about to confess her feelings to her

Sejun - Photo of Constantine in a photo frame on his bedside table showing love for her even after several years

Ken - His first close encounter with Athena's daughter when he defended her from a guy who was about to harrass her

Stell - The lady customer's frequent visit in the cafe which made him excited everytime the cafe door opened

Meanwhile, the color association can be seen through their attires (except for Stell who was wearing a brown shade instead of yellow. But cafe crews most of the time wear brown or black uniforms, so his case is an exemption)

GO UP REFERENCE

So what about the song Go Up? Is there any association in the MV? Yes, of course!

The viewers missed to notice that the background is also a very important part of every film. In HSH MV's case, the Sky was frequently used usually being highlighted in many video frame. We know that Go Up is associated with reaching for dreams and the phrase 'The sky is the limit'.

The use of ample amount of Sky as background also tells us that we usually look up to the sky to remember that a lost loved one looks down on us from the heavens.

Aside from the background, if you may have noticed, cameras are positioned at a lower level, shooting the subjects in an upward angle, which is another Go Up reference.

GITZ REFERENCE

I got this reference from a comment on YouTube which really made sense so I put it here.

The independent stories of the boys can be mirrored in the 5 songs in GITZ album and we couldn't agree no more:

Stell - Tilaluha (Coffee shop at the MV)

Justin - Go Up (Aly reaching for her dreams)

Ken - Alab (Athena's daughter catching his attention)

Josh - Hanggang sa Huli (His eternal love for Athena)

Sejun - Love Goes (Lost loved one)

NAME USAGE

Names are widely used in the MV which are close to our hearts.

Allyssa Kristine S. Bernardo - A'TIN x SB

Allyssa - Alay sa (dedicated to)

Constantine Hermosa - Constant Beauty

Athena - A'TIN

The words A'TIN and SB were also used as names for locations, organization, and transportation:

SB National High School

A'TIN International Scholarship Committee

So Brewed Coffee (Cafe)

SB Transit (Bus)

SBalita (Newspaper)

FLOWER SYMBOLS

Flowers are also used in the MV to depict subliminal meanings:

Peruvian Lily - Friendship, Devotion

Tulip - Happiness, Affection, Caring, Good wishes, Love

Daisy - Innocence, New beginning

SOCIAL TOPICS

The music video also flashed some of popular topics in our society. As an influential boygroup, it is refreshing to see that their stand in these social topics are being incorporated in MV.

Mental health issue - Sejun's character portrayed as a depressed and traumatized person due to a tragic accident and death of his lover

Sexuality topic - Athena's daughter as a lesbian and in a relationship with the same sex

Harrassment / Assault issue - Depiction that anyone can be assaulted despite your sexuality or clothing or status

Bullying topic - Poster at the school's bulletin board, saying 'DON'T BE A BULLY!'

CAMEO ROLES

It is fun to see some people close to SB19 who played some roles in the MV:

Keith (@bboykillmo) - the guy who assaulted Athena's daughter and who was punched on the face by Ken

Don (@donvarin) - Athena's husband

OTHER SYMBOLS Part 1

The music video not only mentions social topics but also it is a personal story of SB19 on how everything led them to where they are now.

SUCCESS - Josh's corporate attire

HUMILITY - Going back to hometown (roots!)

PASSION - Athena's daughter dancing and Sejun's music player

ART - Ken's spray paint

FRIENDSHIP - Group photo of friends

PERFECTION - Coffee being slowly brewed

OTHER SYMBOLS Part 2

Other than that, the MV includes the following symbols which are also serve as significant elements of what is SB19

Sunny day / Sky - God at the center of everything

Rigid heart symbol - Strong foundation of SB19 x A'TIN

Carvings on the tree - SB19 x A'TIN forever

Grafitti - A'TIN

Brand - Endorsement

ETERNAL LOVE

During a past interview, SB19 shared their views on love and sacrifice. They unanimously agreed that true love is not measured by how much you can receive but by how much you can give to the people you love. They believe that it doesn't matter that you don't end up with that person. The important thing is you fought and you learned. Not everything happens in your favor and happiness is the root of acceptance.

HANGGANG SA HULI (Story of Acceptance)

The story of Hanggang sa Huli portrays the reality of 'almosts', 'what ifs', 'timing', 'grief', and most importantly, ACCEPTANCE. Love has no shape but has different colors. It can be a chemical reaction, but Science can never explain the emotion.

Hanggang sa Huli teaches us to love freely, to love everyone, to accept if something is not meant to happen, and to move forward for the better future.

----

Personally, I wasn't expecting too much symbolism in the music video but we all know that the magic of SB19 x A'TIN will forever be special and meaningful, so symbols are significant.

To the whole team of this production, I was very glad and thankful for them for releasing such kind of satisfying story-telling in a 5-minute video.

To Director Justin de Dios, who mainly came up with the concept and directed the MV, you are one of the best writers I have encountered.

To SB19, thank you for giving everyone happiness and hope. You deserve all the best.

SB19 x A'TIN hanggang sa huli. 💙

--Fin--

[silent-era-of-cinema]

Jean Arthur (born Gladys Georgianna Greene; October 17, 1900 – June 19, 1991) was an American Broadway and film actress whose career began in silent films in the 1920s and lasted until the early 1950s.

Arthur had feature roles in three Frank Capra films: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936), You Can't Take It with You (1938), and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939), films that championed the "everyday heroine". Arthur was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress in 1944 for her performance in The More the Merrier (1943).

James Harvey wrote in his history of the romantic comedy: "No one was more closely identified with the screwball comedy than Jean Arthur. So much was she part of it, so much was her star personality defined by it, that the screwball style itself seems almost unimaginable without her." She has been called "the quintessential comedic leading lady". Her last film performance was non-comedic, playing the homesteader's wife in George Stevens's Shane in 1953.

Arthur was known as a reclusive woman. News magazine Life observed in a 1940 article: "Next to Garbo, Jean Arthur is Hollywood's reigning mystery woman." As well as recoiling from interviews, she avoided photographers and refused to become a part of any kind of publicity.

Arthur was born Gladys Georgianna Greene in Plattsburgh, New York, to Protestant parents, Johanna Augusta Nelson (1871–1959) and Hubert Sidney Greene (1863–1944).[7] Gladys' Lutheran maternal grandparents immigrated from Norway to the American West after the Civil War. Her Congregationalist paternal ancestors immigrated from England to Rhode Island in the second half of the 1600s. During the 1790s, Nathaniel Greene helped found the town of St. Albans, Vermont, where his great-grandson, Hubert Greene, was born on September 1, 1863.

Johanna and Hubert were married in Billings, Montana, on July 7, 1890. Gladys's three older brothers—Donald Hubert Greene (1890–1967), Robert Brazier Greene (1892–1955) and Albert Sidney Greene (1894–1926)[8]—were born in the West. Around 1897, Hubert moved his wife and three sons from Billings to Plattsburgh, so he could work as a photographer at the Woodward Studios on Clinton Street. Johanna gave birth to stillborn twins on April 1, 1898.

Two and a half years later, Johanna gave birth to Gladys Georgianna. The product of a nomadic childhood, the future Jean Arthur lived at times in Saranac Lake, New York; Jacksonville, Florida, where George Woodward, Hubert's Plattsburgh employer, opened a second studio; and Schenectady, New York, where Hubert had grown up and where several members of his family still lived. The Greenes lived on and off in Westbrook, Maine, from 1908 to 1915 while Gladys's father worked at Lamson Studios in Portland, Maine. Relocating in 1915 to New York City, the family settled in the Washington Heights neighborhood – at 573 West 159th Street – of upper Manhattan, and Hubert worked at Ira L. Hill's photographic studio on Fifth Avenue.

Gladys dropped out of high school in her junior year due to a "change in family circumstances". Presaging many of her later film roles, she worked as a stenographer on Bond Street in lower Manhattan during and after World War I. Both her father (at age 55, claiming to be 45) and siblings registered for the draft. Her brother Albert died in 1926 as a result of respiratory injuries suffered during a mustard gas attack during World War I.

Discovered by Fox Film Studios while she was doing commercial modeling in New York City in the early 1920s, the newly named Jean Arthur landed a one-year contract and debuted in the silent film Cameo Kirby (1923), directed by John Ford. She reputedly took her stage name from two of her greatest heroes, Joan of Arc (Jeanne d'Arc) and King Arthur.[citation needed] The studio was at the time looking for new American sweethearts with sufficient sex appeal to interest the Jazz Age audiences. Arthur was remodeled as such a personality, a flapper. Following the small role in Cameo Kirby, she received her first female lead role in The Temple of Venus (1923), a plotless tale about a group of dancing nymphs. Dissatisfied with her lack of acting talent, the film's director Henry Otto replaced Arthur with actress Mary Philbin during the third day of shooting. Arthur agreed with the director: "There wasn't a spark from within. I was acting like a mechanical doll personality. I thought I was disgraced for life." She was planning on leaving the California film industry for good, but reluctantly stayed due to her contract, and appeared in comedy shorts instead. Despite lacking the required talent, Arthur liked acting, which she perceived as an "outlet". To acquire some fame, she registered herself in the Los Angeles city directory as a photo player operator, as well as appearing in a promotional film for a new Encino nightclub, but to no avail.

Change came when one day she showed up at the lot of Action Pictures, which produced B westerns, and impressed its owner Lester F. Scott Jr., with her presence. He decided to take a chance on a complete unknown, and she was cast in over twenty westerns in a two-year period. Only receiving $25 a picture, Arthur suffered from difficult working conditions: "The films were generally shot on location, often in the desert near Los Angeles, under a scorching sun that caused throats to parch and make-up to run. Running water was nowhere to be found, and even outhouses were a luxury not always present. The extras on these films were often real cowboys, tough men who were used to roughing it and who had little use for those who were not." The films were moderately successful in second-rate Midwestern theaters, though Arthur received no official attention. Aside from appearing in films for Action Pictures between 1924 and 1926, she worked in some independent westerns, including The Drug Store Cowboy (1925), and westerns for Poverty Row, as well as having an uncredited bit part in Buster Keaton's Seven Chances (1925).

In 1927, Arthur attracted more attention when she appeared opposite Mae Busch and Charles Delaney as a gold digging chorus girl in Husband Hunters. Subsequently, she was romanced by actor Monty Banks in Horse Shoes (1927), both a commercial and critical success. She was cast on Banks's insistence, and received a salary of $700. Next, director Richard Wallace ignored Fox's wishes to cast a more experienced actress by assigning Arthur to the female lead in The Poor Nut (1927), a college comedy which gave her wide exposure to audiences. A reviewer for Variety did not spare the actress in his review: "With everyone in Hollywood bragging about the tremendous overflow of charming young women all battering upon the directorial doors leading to an appearance in pictures, it seems strange that from all these should have been selected two flat specimens such as Jean Arthur and Jane Winton. Neither of the girls has screen presence. Even under the kindliest treatment from the camera they are far from attractive and in one or two side shots almost impossible." Fed up with the direction that her career was taking, Arthur expressed her desire for a big break in an interview at the time. She was skeptical when signed to a small role in Warming Up (1928), a film produced for a big studio, Famous Players-Lasky, and featuring major star Richard Dix. Promoted as the studio's first sound film, it received wide media attention, and Arthur earned praise for her portrayal of a club owner's daughter. Variety opined, "Dix and Arthur are splendid in spite of the wretched material", while Screenland wrote that Arthur "is one of the most charming young kissees who ever officiated in a Dix film. Jean is winsome; she neither looks nor acts like the regular movie heroine. She's a nice girl – but she has her moments." The success of Warming Up resulted in Arthur being signed to a three-year contract with the studio, soon to be known as Paramount Pictures, at $150 a week.

With the rise of the talkies in the late 1920s, Arthur was among the many silent screen actors of Paramount Pictures initially unwilling to adapt to sound films. Upon realizing that the craze for sound films was not a phase, she met with sound coach Roy Pomeroy. It was her distinctive, throaty voice – in addition to some stage training on Broadway in the early 1930s – that eventually helped make her a star in the talkies. However, it initially prevented directors from casting her in films.[19] In her early talkies, this "throaty" voice is still missing, and it remains unclear whether it has not yet emerged or whether she hid it. Her all-talking film debut was The Canary Murder Case (1929), in which she co-starred opposite William Powell and Louise Brooks. Arthur impressed only a few with the film and later claimed that at the time she was a "very poor actress ... awfully anxious to improve, but ... inexperienced so far as genuine training was concerned."

In the early years of talking pictures, Paramount was known for contracting Broadway actors with experienced vocals and impressive background references. Arthur was not among these actors, and she struggled for recognition in the film industry. Her personal involvement with rising Paramount executive David O. Selznick – despite his relationship with Irene Mayer Selznick – proved substantial; she was put on the map and became selected as one of the WAMPAS Baby Stars in 1929. Following a silent B-western called Stairs of Sand (1929), she received some positive notices when she played the female lead in the lavish production of The Mysterious Dr. Fu Manchu (1929). Arthur was given more publicity assignments, which she carried out, even though she immensely disliked posing for photographers and giving interviews.

Through Selznick, Arthur received her "best role to date" opposite famous sex symbol Clara Bow in the early sound film The Saturday Night Kid (1929). Of the two female leads, Arthur was thought to have "the better part," and director Edward Sutherland claimed that "Arthur was so good that we had to cut and cut to keep her from stealing the picture" from Bow. While some argued that Bow resented Arthur for having the "better part," Bow encouraged Arthur to make the most of the production. Arthur later praised her working experience with Bow: "[Bow] was so generous, no snootiness or anything. She was wonderful to me." The film was a moderate success, and The New York Times wrote that the film would have been "merely commonplace, were it not for Jean Arthur, who plays the catty sister with a great deal of skill."

Following a role in Halfway to Heaven (1929) opposite popular actor Charles "Buddy" Rogers (of which Variety opined that her career could be heading somewhere if she acquired more sex appeal), Selznick assigned her to play William Powell's wife in Street of Chance (1930). She did not impress the film's director John Cromwell, who advised the actress to move back to New York because she would not make it in Hollywood. By 1930, her relationship with Selznick had ended, causing her career at Paramount to slip. Following a string of "lifeless ingenue roles" in mediocre films, she debuted on stage in December 1930 with a supporting role in Pasadena Playhouse's ten-day run production of Spring Song. Back in Hollywood, Arthur saw her career deteriorating, and she dyed her hair blonde in an attempt to boost her image and avoid comparison with more successful actress Mary Brian. Her effort did not pay off: when her three-year contract at Paramount expired in mid-1931, she was given her release with an announcement from Paramount that the decision was due to financial setbacks caused by the Great Depression.

In late 1931, Arthur returned to New York City, where a Broadway agent cast Arthur in an adaptation of Lysistrata, which opened at the Riviera Theater on January 24, 1932. A few months later, she made her Broadway debut in Foreign Affairs opposite Dorothy Gish and Osgood Perkins. Even though the play did not fare well and closed after twenty-three performances, critics were impressed by her work on stage. She next won the female lead in The Man Who Reclaimed His Head, which opened on September 8, 1932, at the Broadhurst Theatre to mostly mixed notices for Arthur, and negative reviews for the play caused the production to be halted quickly. Arthur returned to California for the holidays, and appeared in the RKO film The Past of Mary Holmes (1933), her first film in two years.

Back on Broadway, Arthur continued to appear in small plays that received little attention. Critics, however, continued to praise her in their reviews. It has been argued that in this period, Arthur developed confidence in her acting craft for the first time. On the contrast between films in Hollywood and plays in New York, Arthur commented:

I don't think Hollywood is the place to be yourself. The individual ought to find herself before coming to Hollywood. On the stage I found myself to be in a different world. The individual counted. The director encouraged me and I learned how to be myself.... I learned to face audiences and to forget them. To see the footlights and not to see them; to gauge the reactions of hundreds of people, and yet to throw myself so completely into a role that I was oblivious to their reaction.

The Curtain Rises, which ran from October to December 1933, was Arthur's first Broadway play in which she was the center of attention. With an improved résumé, she returned to Hollywood in late 1933, and turned down several contract offers until she was asked to meet with an executive from Columbia Pictures. Arthur agreed to star in a film, Whirlpool (1934), and during production she was offered a long-term contract that promised financial stability for both her and her parents. Even though hesitant to give up her stage career, Arthur signed the five-year contract on February 14, 1934.

In 1935, at age 34, Arthur starred opposite Edward G. Robinson in the gangster farce The Whole Town's Talking, also directed by Ford, and her popularity began to rise. It was the first time Arthur portrayed a hard-boiled working girl with a heart of gold, the type of role she would be associated with for the rest of her career. She enjoyed the acting experience and working opposite Robinson, who remarked in his biography that it was a "delight to work with and know" Arthur. By the time of the film's release, her hair, naturally brunette throughout the silent film portion of her career, was bleached blonde and would mostly stay that way. She was known for maneuvering to be photographed and filmed almost exclusively from the left; Arthur felt that her left was her best side, and worked hard to keep it in the fore. Director Frank Capra recalled producer Harry Cohn's description of Jean Arthur's imbalanced profile: "half of it's angel, and the other half horse." Her next few films, Party Wire (1935), Public Hero No. 1 (1935) and If You Could Only Cook (1935), did not match the success of The Whole Town's Talking, but they all brought the actress positive reviews. In his review for The New York Times, critic Andre Sennwald praised Arthur's performance in Public Hero No. 1, writing that she "is as refreshing a change from the routine it-girl as Joseph Calleia is in his own department." Another critic wrote of her performance in If You Could Only Cook that "[she is] outstanding as she effortlessly slips from charming comedienne to beautiful romantic." With her now apparent rise to fame, Arthur was able to extract several contractual concessions from Harry Cohn, such as script and director approval and the right to make films for other studios.

The turning point in Arthur's career came when she was chosen by Frank Capra to star in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. Capra had spotted her in a daily rush from the film Whirlpool in 1934 and convinced Cohn to have Columbia Studios sign her for his next film as a tough newspaperwoman who falls in love with a country bumpkin millionaire. Even though several colleagues later recalled that Arthur was troubled by extreme stage fright during production, Mr. Deeds was critically acclaimed and propelled her to international stardom. In 1936 alone, she earned $119,000, more than the President of the United States and baseball player Lou Gehrig. With fame also came media attention, something Arthur greatly disliked. She did not attend any social gatherings, such as formal parties in Hollywood, and acted difficult when having to work with an interviewer. She was named the American Greta Garbo – who was also known for her reclusive life – and magazine Movie Classic wrote of her in 1937: "With Garbo talking right out loud in interviews, receiving the press and even welcoming an occasional chance to say her say in the public prints, the palm for elusiveness among screen stars now goes to Jean Arthur."

Arthur's next film was The Ex-Mrs. Bradford (1936), on loan to RKO Pictures, in which she starred opposite William Powell on his insistence, and hoped to take a long vacation afterwards. Cohn, however, rushed her into two more productions, Adventure in Manhattan (1936) and More Than a Secretary (1936). Neither film attracted much attention.[44] Next, again without pause, she was re-teamed with Cooper, playing Calamity Jane in Cecil B. DeMille's The Plainsman (1936) on another loan, this time for Paramount Pictures. Arthur, who was De Mille's second choice after Mae West, described Calamity Jane as her favorite role thus far. Afterwards, she appeared as a working girl, her typical role, in Mitchell Leisen's screwball comedy, Easy Living (1937), with Ray Milland. She followed this with another screwball comedy, Capra's You Can't Take It with You, which teamed her with James Stewart. The film won an Academy Award for Best Picture with Arthur getting top billing.

So strong was her box office appeal by now that she was one of four finalists for the role of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind (1939). The film's producer, David O. Selznick, had briefly romanced Arthur in the late 1920s when they both were with Paramount Pictures. Arthur re-united with director Frank Capra and Stewart for Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939), with Arthur cast once again as a working woman, this time one who teaches the naive Mr. Smith the ways of Washington, D.C.

Arthur continued to star in films such as Howard Hawks's Only Angels Have Wings (also 1939), with love interest Cary Grant, The Talk of the Town (1942), directed by George Stevens (with Cary Grant and Ronald Colman, working together for the only time, as Arthur's two leading men), and again for Stevens as a government clerk in The More the Merrier (1943), for which Arthur was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress (losing to Jennifer Jones for The Song of Bernadette). As a result of being in dispute with studio boss Harry Cohn, her fee for The Talk of the Town (1942) was only $50,000, while her male co-stars Grant and Colman received upwards of $100,000 each. Arthur remained Columbia's top star until the mid-1940s, when she left the studio, and Rita Hayworth took over as the studio's biggest name. Stevens famously called her "one of the greatest comediennes the screen has ever seen," while Capra credited her as "my favorite actress."

Arthur retired when her contract with Columbia Pictures expired in 1944. She reportedly ran through the studio's streets, shouting "I'm free, I'm free!"[46] For the next several years, she turned down virtually all film offers, the two exceptions being Billy Wilder's A Foreign Affair (1948), in which she played a congresswoman and rival of Marlene Dietrich, and as a homesteader's wife in the classic Western Shane (1953), which turned out to be the biggest box-office hit of her career. The latter was her final film, and the only color film in which she appeared.

Arthur's post-retirement work in theater was intermittent, somewhat curtailed by her unease and discomfort about working in public. Capra claimed she vomited in her dressing room between scenes, yet emerged each time to perform a flawless take. According to John Oller's biography, Jean Arthur: The Actress Nobody Knew (1997), Arthur developed a kind of stage fright punctuated with bouts of psychosomatic illnesses. A prime example was in 1945, when she was cast in the lead of the Garson Kanin play, Born Yesterday. Her nerves and insecurity got the better of her and she left the production before it reached Broadway, opening the door for a then-unknown Judy Holliday to take the part.

She did score a major triumph on Broadway in 1950, starring in Leonard Bernstein's adaptation of Peter Pan, playing the title character, when she was almost 50. She tackled the role of her eponym, Joan of Arc, in a 1954 stage production of George Bernard Shaw's Saint Joan, but she left the play after a nervous breakdown and battles with director Harold Clurman.

After Shane and the Broadway play Joan of Arc, Arthur went into retirement for 12 years. In 1965, she returned to show business in an episode of Gunsmoke. In 1966, the extremely reclusive Arthur took on the role of Patricia Marshall, an attorney, on her own television sitcom, The Jean Arthur Show, which was canceled mid-season by CBS after only 12 episodes. Ron Harper played her son, attorney Paul Marshall.

In 1967, Arthur was coaxed back to Broadway to appear as a midwestern spinster who falls in with a group of hippies in the play The Freaking Out of Stephanie Blake. In his book The Season, William Goldman reconstructed the disastrous production, which eventually closed during previews when Arthur refused to go on.

Arthur next decided to teach drama, first at Vassar College and then the North Carolina School of the Arts. While teaching at Vassar, she stopped a rather stridently overacted scene performance and directed the students' attention to a large tree growing outside the window of the performance space, advising the students on the art of naturalistic acting: "I wish people knew how to be people as well as that tree knows how to be a tree."

Her students at Vassar included the young Meryl Streep. Arthur recognized Streep's talent and potential very early on and after watching her performance in a Vassar play, Arthur said it was "like watching a movie star."

While living in North Carolina, in 1973, Arthur made front-page news by being arrested and jailed for trespassing on a neighbor's property to console a dog she felt was being mistreated. An animal lover her entire life, Arthur said she trusted them more than people. She was convicted, fined $75 and given three years' probation.

Arthur turned down the role of the female missionary in Lost Horizon (1973), the unsuccessful musical remake of the 1937 Frank Capra film of the same name. Then, in 1975, the Broadway play First Monday in October, about the first woman to be a Supreme Court justice, was written especially with Arthur in mind, but once again she succumbed to extreme stage fright, and quit the production shortly into its out-of-town run after leaving the Cleveland Play House. The play went on with Jane Alexander playing the role intended for Arthur.

After the First Monday in October incident, Arthur then retired for good, retreating to her oceanside home in Carmel, California, steadfastly refusing interviews until her resistance was broken down by the author of a book about Capra. Arthur once famously said that she would rather have her throat slit than do an interview.

Arthur was a Democrat and supported the campaign of Adlai Stevenson during the 1952 presidential election.

Arthur died from heart failure June 19, 1991, at the age of 90. No funeral service was held. She was cremated, and her remains were scattered off the coast of Point Lobos, California.

Upon her death, film reviewer Charles Champlin wrote the following in the Los Angeles Times:

To at least one teenager in a small town (though I'm sure we were a multitude), Jean Arthur suggested strongly that the ideal woman could be – ought to be – judged by her spirit as well as her beauty … The notion of the woman as a friend and confidante, as well as someone you courted and were nuts about, someone whose true beauty was internal rather than external, became a full-blown possibility as we watched Jean Arthur.

For her contribution to the motion picture industry, Jean Arthur has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 6333 Hollywood Blvd. The Jean Arthur Atrium was her gift to the Monterey Institute of International Studies in Monterey, California.

On May 2, 2015, the city of Plattsburgh, New York, honored her with a plaque in front of the house where she was born (94 Oak Street).

On October 9, 2019, Plattsburgh unveiled a large commissioned mural of the actress by artist Brendon Palmer-Angell on a wall behind the bank building at 30 Brinkerhoff Street.

As of 2019, the Adirondacks Welcome Center near Exit 18 on the northbound lanes of the Northway (I-87) in Queensbury, New York, featured a ground plaque of Jean Arthur, among other famous persons connected to the Adirondacks region, as part of the Adirondacks Walk of Fame, similar in style to the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles.

[definealetheia]

Note to self when I feel like I'm going insane (unfinished)

STOP OVERTHINKING!

Sit back, relax, and take deep breaths.

Listen to chakra tune up meditation music. Unblock your chakras and let the energy flow through your body.

Don't intentionally block your heart chakra. Stop suppressing your feelings, whether it is good or bad. You have to deal with them and heal your wounds. The more you suppress your feelings, the longer your agony will get.

Do you still have doubts about the connection?

Remember that you have already let go of the label Twin Flame. The question whether he is your Divine Masculine or not is not important anymore. The Universe may or may not give you the answer after all. BUT you can honor what you feel is true. You love him. This is your truth. You don't need the Universe to tell you that.

It is okay to doubt the connection sometimes. It is normal to experience doubts and fears in this journey. It is scary and full of uncertainties.

I don't get why other twins refer to someone they meet as "catalyst" who will activate your awakening and you believed as your twin but ended up as otherwise. Same logic goes for false twin. I don't get it. I don't think there is a false twin or a catalyst. That person is either your twin or not. Why would you need a catalyst to activate you? Your twin can do that himself. It doesn't make sense to me. People who started their spiritual journey even before they met their twin were awakened due to several possible reasons. May be because of traumatic experiences or they come from a spiritual background. As for those who were not awakened until they met their twin, I don't understand why the person who activated them ends up only as a catalyst. What for? You will only recognize that person as a catalyst once you meet your true twin. And then it would be like you're restarting your twin flame journey with your true twin! Wth.

Remember the reasons and synchonicities that lead you to believe he is your twin.

He activated my spiritual awakening.

It was August 29, 2018. I met my twin online right after I graduated from grad school. I finished another milestone in my life. I finished a job contact and ready to start a new life. I was optimistic about the future. I've been single for years and thought it would be nice a start a new one. But I didn't want to start a relationship just for the heck of it. I wanted to find the one. I've been saying this to the Universe for a quite some time. I might have manifested it when I met your twin without knowing it.

I've been suffering from MDD and GAD for years. I was in medication and went in and out of hospitals after every suicide attempt. For a long time I was suffering from an existential crisis. I did not know who I am or why I am alive. I did not have dreams of my own and was just living to fulfill the expectations of my family and society. I did not have any goals nor did I have reasons or motivations to pursue anything except meeting others' expectations of me. I needed to finish school and establish a good career, help my parents, and then have my own family. As good as those things were, I did not have the right motivation to do that.

I have always felt I don't belong anywhere. I was bullied in school and even at work. It made my depression even worse. Everywhere I go, terrible things always end up happening. I always felt uncomfortable, unsafe, and being wronged by people. I felt unlucky and miserable all the time. Everytime I try to turn my life around and gain a little hope, terrible things happen and that little hope I had get taken away from me.

I was never religious nor spiritual. Having a master's degree in Philosophy, I have an extensive experience on critical thinking and being skeptical. I don't label myself as agnostic. In fact, when it comes to my spirituality, I refrained from associating myself from any religious group or any spiritual belief. However, during one Philosophy class where we talked about religion where some of my classmates studied in Catholic seminaries, I remember sharing that I don't believe in (Christian conception) God but I do believe that there is someone or something, maybe it be metaphysical, divine, or a force that governs everything in the Universe.

I have always had the affinity to look at the sunset and the night sky. I has been part of my routine. My childhood dream was to became an astronaut or astronomer. But life happened. Part of my routine was talking to the Universe while watching the night sky. Whenever I feel suicidal I always tell them that I don't belong down here. I want to be among the stars. That's where I feel I belong, not here. I talk to the stars as often as I can. They saw me cry and all. They let me know they are listening by showing me shooting stars. I even saw asteroid Juno and other comets during one of my nightly routine. It always feels magical when they show me how beautiful the Universe is.

Recognizing the soul connection

I have been interested in Japanese culture and martial arts. I've been practicing a japanese sword martial arts since January 2017. Since I wanted to learn the language, I installed a language exchange application on my phone and that's where I met him. To be honest, I was open to the thought of possibly meeting someone online but I did not realize that I would actually meet someone like him. I met men who were more interested in flirting with me than learning another language. That's very common online. But I was not interested in them but when I met my twin, I did not know that from then on, my life will turn bat shit crazy. I was just following ramdom people on the app but I also made sure they did not look sketchy or suspicious. He followed me back. He suddenly commented on a picture I posted of me and my cat and then he sent me a private message. My first impression of him is he was very flirty and straithforward with giving compliments, unlike most Japanese I talked to who were polite and unsure of themselves. When I looked at his picture, I immediately felt something different about him especially when I looked at his eyes. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I never felt anything like it before. I felt like I knew him. There was a sense of familiarity and comfortabilitily. We started talking on Line, sent audio messages, and even talked on video call for hours. He send messages when he wakes up, goes to work, while working, coming home, and before sleeping. It like was a honeymoon phase of a relationship. I told myself it was too good to be true.

I needed to know more about him so I asked him if he was single. He wasn't. I felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. He was still flirty and acting like there's more to us than acquaintances. But because of that reality check, I kept asking myself where I stand. Sometimes he treats me like a girlfriend all then all of a sudden he acts like a stranger. When the conversation gets hot and he becomes more flirty than normal that's where I remind him that he has a gf and I don't want to be in a third party. He told me they haven't talked for a while and he felt lost. I felt worse. I felt like he was just bored and wants to use me to fill in the void. Since I knew I was falling inlove, I made it clear to him that if he wants to continue talking to me like we are in a relationship, then I want to be only one. There should be no other woman. He couldn't give me an answer. He always dodged the question to the point that I get frustrated and just drop it. Add the language barrier to the mix. During one of our arguments, I kept asking him how he really felt about me and his answer was that he wanted to meet. I did not expect that answer. Even if I agreed to that, I reminded him that he has gf and he just told me they hadn't talked.

When he came back to Japan from one of work trips, that's when things went downhill. He used to give me updates on where he was or what he doings but that time I did tell me he already came back. His messages became short. Sometimes just one word. It's obvious he didn't want to be bothered or he just didn't want to talk to me. There were even sarcastic messages. It was my cue to leave him be.

We stared with talking to each other all day everyday until it became more and more seldom. There were days when he wouldn't talk. Then a sudden message after days of silence. I did not chase him or beg him to talk to me. But I once told him how I sad was that he changed. I was crying a lot. My heart got broken so many times. October 2018 came and after over a month of the honeymoon phase, he finally ghosted me.

Kundalini awakening and rising

I became more and more depressed and desperate for answers. I kept asking the Universe: Why did this happen? What was the point? I closed myself off for years and stopped dating after experiencing traumatic relationships. Right when I finally decided to take a risk, open my heart, and love again, this happened to me? I did not understand the point of it all. Letting another person in and then he just breaks my heart? This was the last chance I gave myself to love and this shit happened. Before I met him, I told myself that if I ever meet someone and fall in love, it will be the last time. I want to me the one. I am tired of being hurt so many times.

I was so confused. I was hurt, angry, and frustrated. Wanting to find the answers, I started watching tarot readings on Youtube. I never believed in Astrology. I was too skeptical for that. But I watched hundreds of readings out of desperation to find the answers. I got mixed result on the readings. There were times that the readings resonated so much that my mind was blown so many times. But there were others that just made me more confused and paranoid. The best takeaway from those readings is that divine timing is at work. I have to trust in the Universe and give them space to work things out. I can't force things to happen. The only thing I can do is set healthy boundaries and don't let anyone treat me like a doormat.

I spent the next few weeks just watching readings, crying at night, and trying to cope with the pain. The readings said that there will be communication and it did happen. By the time happened, I literally said "this shit is real." I was surprised that he messaged me and asked how I was. But after the inital shock, I was overcome by anger and hurt. He wanted communication just when I was starting to gain balance and not think of him that much. I was torn between telling him off and just accept that he is back. I replied 2-3 days later telling him I'm doing good.

The communication started again but I was seldom. He called me on 11/11 but I couldn't answer. He just randomly sends a message after a few days of silence and or calls all of a sudden and then disappear again. So flakey! I got fed up and set my foot down. I asked him why he wants call or talk to me. He said he always wanted to call and enjoys being with me. I called out his BS. I reminded him that he stopped talking to me. He can't just come in and out of life as he pleases. He should stop playing mind games with me. He just said to me "Oh don't say that 😭." I told him I deserve an explanation and tell me why he disappeared. He said he did not disappear. I told him it hurts me that he's not being honest with me. He said he was being honest. See the pattern here? I asked him again what happened and he just answered "I don't remember." That was it. I told him I'm a very patient person (I'm a fucking Taurus okay) but he pushed me too far. I won't ask anymore. It's obvious he didn't wanna answer. I'm done.

I was livid. I'm done dealing with a player and emotionally unvailable jackass. That's the start of our separation. It was 11/12.

I spent the rest of November dealing with rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I'm angry, and them I'm in pain, and then lonely ect. It was a torture. There were times when I went into relapse. I thought I have officially gone insane. I just wanted to die.

The first time I came across the term twin flame was through watching tarot readings. I never heard of the time before even when I met my twin. I wasn't interested in learning more about it at first. All I know was that it was different from soulmates and it was rare. I have never thought of myself as special (just different) so I did not think I needed to know about it. But curiosity got the better of me and finally decided to do some research. Lo and behold, I resonated with most of the signs that were listed. The things that happened to me made more sense now. But that was not enough to convince me.

More and more meditation music started appearing on my youtube suggestions. It was December when I finally decided to try a guided meditation. It's my first entry. I felt the urge to do it more and more often until I came across a meditation to awaken my spirit. Before this entire journey I would never think of trying it but since I have been activated, might as well continue on improving myself. I played the music when looking at the sunset. When I came to opening the third eye, I started seeing particles in mid air. They look specks of light or little transparent bubbles floating around. As weeks went by I seem them clearer. I don't even have to concentrate or be in meditative state to see them. I see another invisible layer in my environment as well. I see rain or drizzle even if it's not really raining. I also see "rain" and particles even indoors now. As long as there is light. I tune up my chakra almost everyday. I don't feel right when I don't meditate in a few days.

10/13/2019 ~ 2:41 PM (this has been saved in my Drafts since Jan/Feb -- I'm not sure anymore)

[ba-hons-film-blog]

Film Narrative 2 - Fiction Project Critical Reflection:

Initial Idea, Story and Script:

The initial idea came from Euan, who had the broad idea of a door-to-door salesman trying to sell something. We then expanded the idea to have it follow a desperate, morally dubious salesman, who grows increasingly desperate in his efforts to sell his products to a vulnerable old woman. We liked the dubious morality of the idea, and the inner conflict this would give the (unnamed) Salesman. We also thought the two characters, who both had clear but conflicting objectives (the Salesman needs to secure a deal to provide for his family) and the elderly woman, Mrs Beale (who simply wants some company, and isn't interested in the Salesman’s pitch) would help to give the film some good narrative thrust, as Mrs Beale casually dismisses the Salesman’s pitches, and the Salesman then has to try a new, more dubious tactic to secure his sale.

I feel my main contributions were towards coming up with various story beats and character developments for the idea, and making some dialogue revisions to Euan’s second draft of the script. This is due to my interest in storytelling, and script writing. I personally feel like I made a good deal of suggestions for the plot which made it into the final script and feel my dialogue suggestions, while somewhat hurried and not overly polished, helped to expand certain beats where I felt the script rushed past a moment that could be used to create more tension or character. Overall, I feel happy with the final draft of the script, although I feel it was left slightly late, and would have liked to have had time to submit/review a few more drafts done by either Euan, myself or another member of the group, so as to fine tune each and every aspect of the script.

Pre Production Documents:

(For all pre production documents, go to this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15hR7u8XKGlIGuBE3ye0p2FvMvKXCiAJS)

While I did have some ideas for the films style (suggesting ideas like the tv show White Gold) and some ideas for certain shots which I shared with the group(like the opening shot were we see the Salesman who the neighbouring door slammed in his face), I feel I was more engaged with the story and script side of the project than I was with the production side. While that is more what I am interested in, I feel in the next project, I want to get more stuck into the pre production aspects, even if just for some variety and experience. I did do the logline and script synopsis, but that wasn't too far removed from my work with regards to the story and the script.

I think the group did a great job with their production documents, creating a clear sense of the film's style and cinematography. The only issue was sometimes a lack of communication between each person meant certain documents did not 100 percent lineup with each other (like the shot list and the storyboards feature differing shots) but overall, the documents weren’t too inconsistent with each other.

Editing:

I think the picture edit went well. This was my third time using avid (I had previously used it to edit a different scene from “Lethe” and a film of my own) so my this point I had more of an understanding of how to use the software. I tried to create a slow paced edit that generally stayed on the character of Eve as much as possible, as the story is told from her point of view. I feel I could have done a better job with regards to keeping the group up to date as my edit developed and getting their feedback, but I did get some good advice about my second edit from Zoe and group 4 in one tutorial that I took into consideration when working on my third edit.

I also attempted a sound edit using a free trial of Avid Ultimate, which was a good learning experience although ultimately I didn't feel too happy with my finished product. While I managed to raise the levels of the appropriate sounds, and avoided any jarring audio rises or any unnatural silences, I don't think I chose the best background sounds (I used the corridor and general hospital sounds for the whole video, as opposed to just using them at the end. This made the scene feel a bit too busy and overwhelming, and hearing some ambient room noise and beeping sounds throughout instead likely would have been a better choice). Ultimately, I felt the scene worked better before I added these sound effects. My edit didn't manage to export in time as well. We ultimately went with Rosie’s edit, although I still hope to rework mine at a later date.

Crit Feedback:

The logline and synopsis were praised for being intriguing (with regards to the logline), effectively summing up the events of the film (with regards to the synopsis) and overall being well written and well formatted. One shortcoming (or something that group 4 was complimented for having that we didn't have) was not making reference to the movie's style and genre. Additionally, while not necessary, a document describing the key characteristics of the main characters would have been a nice addition.

The rest of the pre production documents were well received. The storyboards by Cal were well drawn and gave a clear idea what the films cinematography would look like (although could have done with some text beneath each image), the costume/prop/set documents by Rosie gave a clear idea of the films style (as did the moodboard, although we were told some comments on each of the images would have helped) and the shotlist by Robbie was well formatted, and clear and concise with regards to what each shot would feature (despite some confusion over some of the abbreviations and the fact the storyboards and the shotlist did not completely line up).

Script Feedback:

(to follow. Apparently, Euan has not received this from Paul, which I will ask about and add once we have gotten the feedback)

Edit Feedback:

Here is the feedback Kieran gave me for my edit, along with my thoughts about it and how I would go about it differently in the future:

“Good professional practice with leader.”

“Atmospheric start, but the out of focus POV shot lasts too long.” - The reason this lasts for so long is to allow the character of Abe to slowly come into focus, to show how Eve is slowly waking up. However, I could definitely start the clip a few more seconds in and maybe cut of a second at the end, or just have a few seconds of a blurry Abe without a change in focus, although that might not be as effective.

“At 01:00:31:00 the scratching of the head doesn’t communicate tension and feels awkward.” - While I initially choose this part of the clip because I thought it would be interesting to have Kane doing something other than silently brooding, thinking about it again, I would agree with this, and would solve it by choosing a different part of the clip where Kane is simply standing still and looking ahead.

“It’s a good 40 seconds before anything really happens, which is too slow.” - I would agree with this - perhaps 20 seconds of build up could have been a good balance?

“Good reveal of the space at 01:00:47:04, using him turning around.” - Previously, this shot had been criticized for being too brief and seeming a bit random compared to the closer up shots used elsewhere. Despite this, I had kept it, as I felt it properly established the geography of the room and showed all the characters in relation to each other, so it was nice to hear Kieran liked this.

“The look at 01:00:59:00 is too short, allow the look to settle for a few frames before cutting to what someone is looking at to make it less jarring.” - I would agree with this. I'm not sure why I cut this so early, maybe the actor only looked over for a second and I worked with what I had, but I imagine more likely than not this was just an oversight.

“This whole section up to 01:02:13:00 is very good, but missing a reaction from him to her asking for the bed pan.” - I think I stayed on the shot of Eve instead of cutting to Kane purely because I liked his line delivery in that shot, but I could have either looked for a shot of Kane with line delivery of a similar quality or cut to Kane reacting to Eve’s line and then cut back to Eve and had Kane’s line.

“The watch pickup ECU is a little quick, as you haven’t established the watch previous to this and it is a key object.” - I would agree with this, and feel it could be solved by either having the watch appear earlier and only having it appear briefly here, or only having it appear here and holding on it longer to make up for that.

“Generally the pace is a little slow at the start and end, and this scene can’t sustain longer than 3 minutes.” - With a runtime of 3 minutes 23 seconds, and Kieran stating the scene couldn't sustain a runtime of over 3 minutes, this was understandably deemed too long. While I was going for a slower pace as opposed to a fast one, it may have been possible to have found a middle ground between the two. With the opening, I have already said that it could be whittled down to about 20 seconds. The ending might have been a bit more difficult to cut down, as it isn't just Eve lying in bed but going across the room and doing various things, but I still think I could have cut it down a bit. This could have been done by minimising the time Eve is simply crossing the room and looking through the bag, and giving a good amount of time to the more important beats, like the watch, the photo ID and the other bed.

Overall Reflection:

I think some more communication could have been a bit better, and we would have benefitted from a few more meetings, just to update each other, make sure we were on the same page and make sure there were no major differences in our work. I personally would have liked to have spent even more time fine turning the script, and getting in a few more drafts, but I am still quite happy with the submitted work. Despite this, I think everyone did a good job at their respective jobs and turned in work of high quality, and I look forward to working on the independent project with this feedback in mind.

[volunteerismandanarchy]

HARRISON BERGERON by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren't only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213 th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General. Some things about living still weren't quite right, though. April for instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime. And it was in that clammy month that the H-G men took George and Hazel Bergeron's fourteen- year-old son, Harrison, away. It was tragic, all right, but George and Hazel couldn't think about it very hard. Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence, which meant she couldn't think about anything except in short bursts. And George, while his intelligence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a government transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains. George and Hazel were watching television. There were tears on Hazel's cheeks, but she'd forgotten for the moment what they were about. On the television screen were ballerinas. A buzzer sounded in George's head. His thoughts fled in panic, like bandits from a burglar alarm. "That was a real pretty dance, that dance they just did," said Hazel. "Huh" said George. "That dance-it was nice," said Hazel. "Yup, " said George. He tried to think a little about the ballerinas. They weren't really very good-no better than anybody else would have been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags of birdshot, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful gesture or a pretty face, would feel like something the cat drug in. George was toying with the vague notion that maybe dancers shouldn't be handicapped. But he didn't get very far with it before another noise in his ear radio scattered his thoughts . George winced. So did two out of the eight ballerinas. Hazel saw him wince. Having no mental handicap herself, she had to ask George what the latest sound had been. "Sounded like somebody hitting a milk bottle with a ball peen hammer, " said George . "I'd think it would be real interesting, hearing all the different sounds," said Hazel a little envious. "All the things they think up." "Urn, " said George. "Only, if I was Handicapper General, you know what I would do?" said Hazel. Hazel, as a matter of fact, bore a strong resemblance to the Handicapper General, a woman named Diana Moon Glampers. "If I was Diana Moon Glampers," said Hazel, "I'd have chimes on Sunday- just chimes. Kind of in honor of religion . " "I could think, if it was just chimes," said George. "Well-maybe make 'em real loud," said Hazel. "I think I'd make a good Handicapper General." "Good as anybody else," said George. "Who knows better then I do what normal is?" said Hazel. "Right," said George. He began to think glimmeringly about his abnormal son who was now in jail, about Harrison, but a twenty-one-gun salute in his head stopped that. "Boy!" said Hazel, "that was a doozy, wasn't it?" It was such a doozy that George was white and trembling, and tears stood on the rims of his red eyes. Two of of the eight ballerinas had collapsed to the studio floor, were holding their temples. "All of a sudden you look so tired," said Hazel. "Why don't you stretch out on the sofa, so's you can rest your handicap bag on the pillows, honeybunch." She was referring to the forty-seven pounds of birdshot in a canvas bag, which was padlocked around George's neck. "Go on and rest the bag for a little while," she said. "I don't care if you're not equal to me for a while . " George weighed the bag with his hands. "I don't mind it," he said. "I don't notice it any more. It's just a part of me." "You been so tired lately-kind of wore out," said Hazel. "If there was just some way we could make a little hole in the bottom of the bag, and just take out a few of them lead balls. Just a few." "Two years in prison and two thousand dollars fine for every ball I took out," said George. "I don't call that a bargain." "If you could just take a few out when you came home from work," said Hazel. "I mean-you don't compete with anybody around here. You just set around." "If I tried to get away with it," said George, "then other people ' d get away with it-and pretty soon we'd be right back to the dark ages again, with everybody competing against everybody else. You wouldn't like that, would you?" "I'd hate it," said Hazel. "There you are," said George. The minute people start cheating on laws, what do you think happens to society?" If Hazel hadn't been able to come up with an answer to this question, George couldn't have supplied one. A siren was going off in his head. "Reckon it'd fall all apart," said Hazel. "What would?" said George blankly. "Society," said Hazel uncertainly. "Wasn't that what you just said? "Who knows?" said George. The television program was suddenly interrupted for a news bulletin. It wasn't clear at first as to what the bulletin was about, since the announcer, like all announcers, had a serious speech impediment. For about half a minute, and in a state of high excitement, the announcer tried to say, "Ladies and Gentlemen." He finally gave up, handed the bulletin to a ballerina to read. "That's all right-" Hazel said of the announcer, "he tried. That's the big thing. He tried to do the best he could with what God gave him. He should get a nice raise for trying so hard." "Ladies and Gentlemen," said the ballerina, reading the bulletin. She must have been extraordinarily beautiful, because the mask she wore was hideous. And it was easy to see that she was the strongest and most graceful of all the dancers, for her handicap bags were as big as those worn by two-hundred pound men. And she had to apologize at once for her voice, which was a very unfair voice for a woman to use. Her voice was a warm, luminous, timeless melody. "Excuse me-" she said, and she began again, making her voice absolutely uncompetitive . "Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen," she said in a grackle squawk, "has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athlete, is under-handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous." A police photograph of Harrison Bergeron was flashed on the screen-upside down, then sideways, upside down again, then right side up. The picture showed the full length of Harrison against a background calibrated in feet and inches. He was exactly seven feet tall. The rest of Harrison's appearance was Halloween and hardware. Nobody had ever born heavier handicaps. He had outgrown hindrances faster than the H-G men could think them up. Instead of a little ear radio for a mental handicap, he wore a tremendous pair of earphones, and spectacles with thick wavy lenses. The spectacles were intended to make him not only half blind, but to give him whanging headaches besides. Scrap metal was hung all over him. Ordinarily, there was a certain symmetry, a military neatness to the handicaps issued to strong people, but Harrison looked like a walking junkyard. In the race of life, Harrison carried three hundred pounds . And to offset his good looks, the H-G men required that he wear at all times a red rubber ball for a nose, keep his eyebrows shaved off, and cover his even white teeth with black caps at snaggle-tooth random. "If you see this boy, " said the ballerina, "do not - I repeat, do not - try to reason with him." There was the shriek of a door being torn from its hinges. Screams and barking cries of consternation came from the television set. The photograph of Harrison Bergeron on the screen jumped again and again, as though dancing to the tune of an earthquake. George Bergeron correctly identified the earthquake, and well he might have - for many was the time his own home had danced to the same crashing tune. "My God-" said George, "that must be Harrison!" The realization was blasted from his mind instantly by the sound of an automobile collision in his head. When George could open his eyes again, the photograph of Harrison was gone. A living, breathing Harrison filled the screen. Clanking, clownish, and huge, Harrison stood - in the center of the studio. The knob of the uprooted studio door was still in his hand. Ballerinas, technicians, musicians, and announcers cowered on their knees before him, expecting to die. "I am the Emperor!" cried Harrison. "Do you hear? I am the Emperor! Everybody must do what I say at once!" He stamped his foot and the studio shook. "Even as I stand here" he bellowed, "crippled, hobbled, sickened - I am a greater ruler than any man who ever lived! Now watch me become what I can become ! " Harrison tore the straps of his handicap harness like wet tissue paper, tore straps guaranteed to support five thousand pounds. Harrison's scrap-iron handicaps crashed to the floor. Harrison thrust his thumbs under the bar of the padlock that secured his head harness. The bar snapped like celery. Harrison smashed his headphones and spectacles against the wall. He flung away his rubber-ball nose, revealed a man that would have awed Thor, the god of thunder. "I shall now select my Empress!" he said, looking down on the cowering people. "Let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne!" A moment passed, and then a ballerina arose, swaying like a willow. Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear, snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask. She was blindingly beautiful. "Now-" said Harrison, taking her hand, "shall we show the people the meaning of the word dance? Music!" he commanded. The musicians scrambled back into their chairs, and Harrison stripped them of their handicaps, too. "Play your best," he told them, "and I'll make you barons and dukes and earls." The music began. It was normal at first-cheap, silly, false. But Harrison snatched two musicians from their chairs, waved them like batons as he sang the music as he wanted it played. He slammed them back into their chairs. The music began again and was much improved. Harrison and his Empress merely listened to the music for a while-listened gravely, as though synchronizing their heartbeats with it. They shifted their weights to their toes. Harrison placed his big hands on the girls tiny waist, letting her sense the weightlessness that would soon be hers. And then, in an explosion of joy and grace, into the air they sprang! Not only were the laws of the land abandoned, but the law of gravity and the laws of motion as well. They reeled, whirled, swiveled, flounced, capered, gamboled, and spun. They leaped like deer on the moon. The studio ceiling was thirty feet high, but each leap brought the dancers nearer to it. It became their obvious intention to kiss the ceiling. They kissed it. And then, neutraling gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long, long time . It was then that Diana Moon Clampers, the Handicapper General, came into the studio with a double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun. She fired twice, and the Emperor and the Empress were dead before they hit the floor. Diana Moon Clampers loaded the gun again. She aimed it at the musicians and told them they had ten seconds to get their handicaps back on. It was then that the Bergerons' television tube burned out. Hazel turned to comment about the blackout to George. But George had gone out into the kitchen for a can of beer. George came back in with the beer, paused while a handicap signal shook him up. And then he sat down again. "You been crying" he said to Hazel. "Yup, " she said. "What about?" he said. "I forget," she said. "Something real sad on television." "What was it?" he said. "It's all kind of mixed up in my mind," said Hazel. "Forget sad things," said George. "I always do," said Hazel. "That's my girl," said George. He winced. There was the sound of a rivetting gun in his head. "Gee - I could tell that one was a doozy, " said Hazel. "You can say that again," said George. "Gee-" said Hazel, "I could tell that one was a doozy." "Harrison Bergeron" is copyrighted by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., 1961.