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dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

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I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

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STOP CENSORING SUBTITLES/TRANSCRIPTS/CLOSED CAPTIONS

LET DEAF AND NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE READ “FUCK”

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Honestly the potential possibility that there is even a 1% chance that a confused cis person mistakenly gets a gender surgery they'll later regret should not be a reason to make gender-affirming surgeries harder to get. Not just because trans peoples' lives should be easier, but also because I find that thought to be fucking hilarious.

Like dude how do you accidentally sign up for get-your-dick-inverted-and-your-balls-removed surgery and now you're shocked that you got your dick undone and balls removed? The fuck did you think that was gonna do. lmao fucking idiot.

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the problem with buying food is after you eat it you have to go buy more food

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BURN THE WITCH BURN THE WITCH BURN THE WITCH

"I know a spell that can summon hot lesbians"

RELEASE THE WITCH RELEASE THE WITCH RELEASE THE WITCH

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i do kinda think whoever started the trend of requiring customers to ask an employee to let them into the bathroom should be executed Tbh. i dont care how much crack people are doing in your bathroom i shouldnt have to track somebody down and ask for permission to go potty in a public establishment

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🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

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i really do believe that the answer to a lot of people's self hatred is not to try and reassure them that they are wonderful and okay and enough, but instead to remind them theyre a completely unremarkable regular ass person who is not the center of the universe or especially important so why would they expect themselves to be some superhuman savior. like there really is a kernel of out of control self importance at the heart of thinking youre an evil lazy piece of shit. because why would you expect you be anything but just like some guy. if you wouldnt expect the guy who works at the vape shop or your mailman or whatever to be able to do something then why would you expect yourself to? youre just some random ass person. its fine

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

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Musical about a guy who is the only one who doesnt know it's a musical.

The actor isn't taught the choreography to the songs so their desperate attempts to dance along are real

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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Male presenting the same way the shitty medieval manuscript animals represent the creatures they are. It is easy to assume it looks like shit due to a lack of skill, but in truth looking like shit is a deliberate stylistic choice.

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I don't know if this is a toxic trait but I just have no fucking patience for people who play coy about not letting people help them. Like I don't care if you think it's cute and demure and think people should chase you down and make you do the safe and healthy thing, because I sure fucking won't. Like if people are going out of their way to try to make you keep yourself alive and you start going "nooooo I don't wannaaa you don't want to make meeeeeeh uwu" and cutely wiggling away, then frankly I think you should die.

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Looking at urban animals has become a lot more fulfilling after learning to not anthropomorphise them. Like the sparrows in the underground section of Helsinki railway station. I used to look at them mildly saddened, thinking that the poor things must have flown in here by accident and now can't get out. But they aren't trapped, really. They're smart birds, surely if they can find their way in, they could find their way out if they really wanted to. They don't care about human concepts of freedom, or manmade vs. natural environments. They are just as free wherever they are.

Here they are safe from the elements, safe from predators, clearly unbothered by the people. There's plenty of odd random scraps for food, and other sparrows to hang out with, and considering the way they sing, this is a place worth marking as territory. If they were trapped and distressed, I don't think that one would be yelling "THIS IS MY HOUSE. IF YOU'RE ANOTHER MAN AND YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE, FUCK YOU FOR BEING IN MY HOUSE."

They're here for the same reason as I am: less noise, wind, and cars, and easier access to deli ham.

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@satan-offical my inbox is blowing up because of you make it stop