#//it's both a lore dump and an IC reason why i'm not helping out there (the OOC is because mental health lol)

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

[Video post and all reblogs are blocked from Fuchsia, Cerulean, and Den.]

[Saffron is standing with a tall man in a striped shirt - the Anguished One - outside the house, out of earshot of even Fuchsia's ridiculous hearing.]

Saffron: ...so, what you're telling me is - that after that whole thing about communication - you want me to keep a secret from the others?

AO: Regrettably, yes. For their own safety. If they knew---

Saffron: Let me get this straight, then. Sprite has run away, you aren't telling me anything more than that for my own good, sure. But you want me to not tell the others, because Fuchsia and Cerulean would spiral out of control and it would tear us apart. To aid in this, you will be adding hidden clauses to the firewall to make them think that everything is okay. And if---when. It has to be when. When Sprite is back okay, you'll catch them up gently with an apology. ...logically, I understand. It just hurts. The one person it's worst to lie to is yourself, I believe - and even being separate like this for now, I'm... as Saffron, I'm not, but as a part of Blackthorn, I am lying to myself here. Even though I know the alternative---

AO: What do you know about the Sinnoh lake guardians?

Saffron: I would ask why this is relevant, but I know we have... what's the word. Similarities. Okay. Uxie is knowledge, that's me. Mesprit is emotion, that's Fuchsia, though Cerulean has aspects of that too. Azelf is willpower, that's Cerulean - though that seems to be a weaker link for them. The three pixies can balance out one of the legendary dragons Dialga or Palkia, but not both. In the theoretical situation where both were summoned, Giratina may emerge to help balance the scales. All three have similar movesets, as normal for a trio, with some moves differing. They have the same abilities, typing, and base stat total, although in a competitive sense they aren't equally used due to playing different roles that may or may not be obsoleted by others.

AO: One relevant point you missed - as part of the moveset, each of them has a self-destructive move. I'll be explaining this next bit to the others as well, so don't worry about them not having the same self-insight, but you'll see how it's relevant to this particular situation.

You, Saffron, are as you said, most similar to Uxie. Your relevant self-destructive move is Memento---

Saffron: ---which sucks---

AO: ---which is generally less effective as the affected can just switch out. But in the same way, it means you have less of an incentive to use that move, which fits with both Uxie's more defensive nature, and you being the most stable of you three.

Fuchsia is most similar to Mesprit. You're right in that Cerulean also embodies some emotion, but their emotion is more passive, while Fuchsia's is more active, and so more fitting for Mesprit. Her self-destructive move is Healing Wish, which I'm sure you can see how it's relevant.

Saffron: ...yeah. Fainting oneself to heal another - I absolutely see it.

AO: And you know that she'd do that just trying to help even if there's nothing she can do. Like in this situation.

As for Cerulean - while they might feel like the weak link here, think about it. They are pain, and fear, and cowardice - and yet they, yet you all succeed anyway. They are the willpower to push you through it. Their move is Explosion. One that's born of so much pain could become desensitised and cause it without meaning to. Or could lash out.

Saffron: ...the cornered rat will bite the cat.

AO: Exactly. So, you see, if any of you get fully separated from the whole, you're all at risk. Saffron, you balance out the other two with working on logic rather than emotion, and they vice versa for you. They balance each other out with active vs passive. If any of you were lost, the imbalance would cause the others to spiral out of control. As for Den - while in theory she could survive without you three, she would be much less of a person. You're essential to her function, and she's essential to your existences, being the origin. And as you three balance with her...

Saffron: In this analogy she's one of the dragons... That has to be Giratina.

AO: She doesn't see herself as such, so this is more supporting evidence, but - yes, she is effectively Giratina in this situation. You three take over subconsciously a lot more often than you think, and she's banished to the other side of her own mind - which is, of course, torn and distorted. If her mind splintered, it would damage both sides. Any of you three separated or lost to the void, and none of you would be able to function properly. This is also why we can't just, 'layer merge' I believe was an analogy used - data would be lost in the process.

Saffron: ...so, to sum it up. We have certain traits due to an analogy that works out too well to be a coincidence, and those traits mean that I have to keep a secret from my... ah, what is a good name for us, anyway? Siblings? Doesn't matter. What you're saying is I'm the only one stable enough at present to be able to handle this... barely. And that I have to pretend that everything is okay over there? It makes sense. But it doesn't mean I like it. And what if, if---WHEN things work out okay and you tell them, they're distrusting of me as a result? I'm worried Cerulean will internalise it... like so much else...

AO: ...that we will have to work out at the time. I'll take the blame though, of course - none of this was your idea. And though you'll have to jump through a few hoops - if you think it's best you do have the means to check on the situation.

Saffron: ...okay. It'll hurt---it already hurts. But I'll do what I have to. Fuchsia would burn out trying ineffectually to help. Cerulean would be eaten by self-loathing. And Den would shatter beyond recognition.

I know that all I can do is look after the others, and hope. So that's... what I have to do.

...

...please. Whatever poke-gods are out there listening, who can hear me. Keep it safe.

[ayearlaterletters]

july 26th - august 1st

Writing this on July 30th and it's currently 4:07 pm. I'm waiting for you to make your way here to pick me up so we can have our late afternoon read at the park and boba session date.

July 26th Friday: I believe we went on a boba date together at Feng Cha. Also, we both felt our feelings that day. I was on the phone with Maryanne crying all day about everything and anything. I took your tone and attitude personally like talking to me as a friend and I don't know why it hurt but I guess it's because I love it when you talk to me sweetly. After our venting session and boba date we went to Armando's then you drove me home so I can attend work tomorrow morning. You dropped me off at home at a reasonable time in order for me to get some rest before my "Monday". I also admitted my adoption in the Mexican families and the gang I've established, "vato locos" New character unlocked haha

July 27th: Saturday was your only day off and as I got home you messaged me if I would like to attend Marcus volleyball game in mission valley. Absolutley yes of course I'll love to spend time with you both. We went to 85 degree bakery and all got drinks. you and I got food items. i showed Marcus my magic trick for the first time and he enjoyed it. i failed the second time, but oh well. after boba, we took Marcus home because he really wanted to take a nap from a his first week back at school. After we dropped him off, you and I went off to do our own little adventure at the beach. we read on verity on the beach, walked the pier, and you were feeling quite naughty but I had to go home to troopie. our day ended but we continued talking throughout the night.

July 28th Sunday: You went to work and I attended a movie date with my family to see deadpol & wolverine at the LOT in La Jolla, which we seriously need to attend because it's so pretty and bougie like adults only theater. We didn't see one another so it was body day for the both of us. (body day: Michael's term for rest day. My new favorite term)

July 29th Monday: We both went to work. I ate really good and had a food coma. Musa counting down the next 6 days until I'm single and you learned cocaine is from a plant called the coca mixed and cut with baking soda to be stretched out. My lover boy was my passenger princess for the lovely evening. I drove 100 miles to come see you. I picked you up and I wanted to do a spontaneous trip to Coronado. We went to Vons and got another can of Mike's hard, no ice cream, and no mc donalds. it's ok, we found yellow roses finally. Monday you touched me at the park with other people around, very naughty. drove 100 back to your place so we can finish our business on our dark street. i didnt' get home until midnight but you helped me called in for work for the very first time because trooper fell and injured himself. his breathing was heavy and he was limping. unsure if I had to take him to the vet the next morning but I stayed home to make sure trooper was okay before the vet was needed. you were very supportive along the whole way and I appreciate your gestures.

July 30th Tuesday: Our days off from work - yours officially and I called in for trooper. Luckily trooper was good in the morning, he was a bit sore because he fell on his elbow so he was limping but he was his happy self still. my mom and I took turns taking care of trooper that day. Trooper in the care of my mom for the rest of the day, you scooped me up and took me to Marcus' volleyball practice. You actually came and got me because I lore dumped about my brother and family relationship. you witnessed me angry screaming and cussing for the first time. you picked me up earlier that day and we went to get some boba at Feng Cha in Chula Vista and read at the park for a little bit. I started reading Nail Gaiman's The Ocean At The End of The Lane. After practice, we went to Luigi's and got pizza and beer together. We both were feeling the beer, walked the pier, and then tried to get busy but your mom lectured you about drinking and bringing me over. The night was shortly ended and I had to take an uber home because your mother didn't want you to drive me home. it's ok I knew I would see you again on Thursday.

July 31st Wednesday: It's Oscar's birthday! We talked later in the day because I fell asleep on the couch with trooper while I read a few chapters of my book. i woke up at like 2pm. received a phone call from Sharon Powell and spoke to her for like 50 minutes. After the phone call, then we finally spoke. I witnessed you getting ready for the first time and this time you weren't the one needing to pick me up. It was a process seeing you bouncing up and down room to room getting ready but I enjoyed being you on the phone. I also bought movie tickets to see the new movie, it ends with us in theaters which I'm really excited for because I've been waiting for this movie to happen since the beginning of this year and the wait is finally over! we will watch it together, i do not care if i rewatch it because i highly enjoyed the book series. I worked out, ate some good dinner, read more of my book, and watched some youtube before i fell asleep. you didn't get home until like almost midnight but by the time you called me i was asleep. i called you at 3:32 a minute before 333 so it was a sign of waking up and needing to be on the phone with you. you and i both woke up a jolt of energy between the both of us feeling one another distance away. perfect timing.

Hi baby, im writing this section on August 2nd at 8:11 am. I need to continue before I forget our days together. I don't want to forget. i want to treasure our moments because I lose my sense of time and direction when I'm with you. everyday feels like a new day to me. it's like my memory has been wiped away and you help me understand why I fell for you everyday. it's like my version of 50 first dates. i don't get tired of you telling me the same thing because I love hearing your point of view. being with you is like a dream, a repetitive dream but a good one, one I'm not scared to be in because I feel safe with you. you were once a dream an imagination a thought in my head but I look at you and think wow like seriously this man right here wants to spend time with me but before we didn't even talk or text barely just moments of hellos and goodbyes at work. you are special to be given to me in my space and energy and the universe blessed me with you. you gained the courage to just ask me. my prayers have been answered - for someone like you. please don't ever forget that you need to be more confident in yourself. give yourself more credit because you deserve it. when we all say you're the best we seriously mean it. we as in your kids. once my trainer, but you were the best in my eyes. i liked your training style. reminds me of mine when I train others. very kind and friendly also patient which I appreciate. also very knowledgable and helpful. Forgot to add that you also simplify the mumbo jumbo into one easy understandable sentence.

Jumping to first impressions which im very shy to tell you but I'm pretty sure in due time I will tell you just I haven't told you what my first impression was of you besides how I thought u were seriously cute and how I thought u were as a trainer but this description goes deep in my inner mind.

the first day i noticed you, you wore a suit. a nice button-up your coworkers were complimenting you on. i think the first couple days you had your hair pulled back into a pony tail. i don't remember what day you wore your suit but I was checking you out and thought oh damn he looks really fucking good in his suit. i find out it was your uniform and thought damn I'm going to be working next to this guy in this suit... what a nice view to start my day. I liked Michael with this ponytail but you showed up to work with your afro out and I complimented your hair on how voluminous your hair is. you wore your hair natural so I hardly saw ponytail Michael again. i like both hair pulled back, braided - which took my breathe away because its a different hairstyle I havent seen you in before, and of course natural Michael. i like all versions of Michael. i really seriously do. i told you to always be yourself don't change and I dont plan on changing you because I like you for you! you is what made me fall in like for you!!!

Resuming our days now (time 8:27am)

August 1st Thursday: You went to work and it was still my day off. I went on a nice walk with trooper, got some coffee and veggie plate, finished my book, and got ready to see you for Marcus' volleyball game. National Girlfriend day and we celebrated by just being with one another I didnt ask for anything special or anything was planned specifically we just did our usual after dropping Marcus off at home. but we actually got fast food for the first time Mcdonalds and burgerking. once we gathered our meal we head to the beach and ate together, talked, and kissed. our kissing always leads to us being intimate. i love having a partner that is attracted to me. it's a feeling only you've given me and I appreciate you for making me feel seen and admired. i mean what I say that my feelings for you is new to me and something I've never felt before for anyone else, truly. i make you feel good verbally, emotionally, and mentally and in return you pleasure me to show me how good I make you feel inside. you love making love to me, you're inside me and I feel like heaven to you. together we feel at home. just right.

I will continue August 2nd another day another time. now it's time for me to go get trooper and walk him around the block, eat some breakfast, read, drink plenty of fluids, think about getting some more of that delicious coffee I had yesterday, work out, and await for your call. i pray and hope today is a good day for both of us. it is truly another blessing to wakeup again and see you another day. hear from you again. i am so blessed to have you in my life. i appreciate you and I value you. i see my life with you.

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<3 angel your girlfriend.