#[[ also he technically didn't really reply to the question in the end xD ]]

[countlessrealities]

@evilmcg sent: “Do you want to kiss me?” for E-Morty

It was supposed to be a simple question with a simple answer, right? Morty was almost certain that Meg saw it that way. She was probably seeking reassurance and some ego-stroking, a quick way to pamper her ego knowing that she was the only girl he would have ever kissed.

The desired answer, the one he was expected to offer, was clear. There was no reason for him to hesitate or think too hard about it. All he had to do was to spell out a one-syllable word, a straightforward "yes" and she would have been happy...and out of his hair. After all, he had important work to do, he shouldn't waste time on such an issue that had such an obvious solution.

And yet, in spite of all that, he still found himself stalling, the question bouncing around his skull. A painful reminder that, while the anticipated reply was evident, the truthful one wasn't as uncomplicated.

Did he want to kiss her right now? Not really. She had interrupted him while he was in the middle of something and he was struggling not to lose the train of thoughts he had been following when she had barged into his office without a warning. So, he mostly wanted her gone, quickly, so that he could go back to his work.

Did he want to kiss her in general? Now, that was a more complex reply. He wanted to say "yes" and "no" at the same time, because of the too many feelings battling on the subject. On one hand, he refused to acknowledge an urge that could show how she had some power over him. Wishing to kiss her meant wishing for her presence, for her company, and also admitting to have developed an attachment towards her. All things that weakened the position of power he had made sure to put himself in when it came to the girl.

On the other hand, however, he would have been lying if he had said that the desire wasn't there, at least in the right moments. It was undeniable, just as the fondness he had developed for her was. While choosing to date her had been a tactical choice, he would have never done it, if he hadn't developed some sort of interest in her.

It wasn't love, and it would most likely never be. Love was hard for him, so much that he would have said "impossible", if it wasn't that he had found one, unplanned and unexpected, exception in his other self.

But Morty was special, unique. Meg was different, enough for him to be sure that he could never fall for her, not in the same way he had fallen for his mirror image. Though, once again, that didn't stop him from developing some emotions for her.

Did that mean that he wanted to kiss her? Right now, in general, often, whatnot? Good question.

"I'm your boyfriend," was what he said in the end, his tone borderline patronising. He was acting like the question was a stupid one, as if it hadn't just caused a storm in his mind. "I'm supposed to kiss you. So, if you want me to, just say it and I'll deliver."

Let her decide, let this be her choice. It was the easiest, less compromising, less thought-provoking option.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

A clip of haru and rin popped up on my youtube feed, it was the -haru gets angry- scene of eternal summer (another heated rinharu argument, I couldn't say no XD) and while I was rewatching it, idk why but when haru said "I swim for myself and for my friends" and rin replied "then swim for those friends, and for your own sake!" the expression rin made made me feel like he didn't even consider himself haru's friend or close friend, but still encouraged him to find a dream for haru himself because that's the only way they can swim together again

Haha I can't say no to all the rinharu scenes lol

Idk, I watched it a bit differently. It's definitely not the fact that he didn't consider himself Haru's friend, it's just the fact that Rin thought that he wasn't gonna be enough to make Haru's future a happy one after all the points Haru made in his yelling about 'why he swims'.

It was before the time they confessed that for them both the best team is the one when they're together. So when Haru started with his "I don't swim for this assholes to stare at me and for the records or smth" you can see Rin starting to putting it all together, he was like "okay, what for then?" and Haru goes "I swim for myself and my friends", it's like... Rin knows Nagisa, Makoto and Rei won't go for the national team xD, he can't give him that, and he certainly doesn't have enough self-esteem to think that he alone is enough to inspire him to move forward, when everyone else is not there anymore, he also doesn't know yet, that for Haru being on one team with Rin makes it apriori the best team, nevermind who are the other two aparently, bc they weren't at the point of their relationship yet to admit that at this point, cause hey, insecurity, hey.

Just loving swimming is not enough to make someone want to turn it into profession, just bc it can potentially make you hate it later on. If he doesn't want medals, glory, fame and achievements doesn't excite him, then it's even more complicated. "For friends" is also not an option, bc you can't form a national team yourself. So of course Rin was a bit lost there. Because he didn't really know what to offer him. He couldn't quite go and say "And if it's only me?"

Utsumi said about this scene that for Haru it was the moment he could finally let go and yell his true feelings out, just bc it was Rin (awwww), but for Rin it was the moment he started to think just about what Haru himself really wanted, for the first time hearing his real feelings out loud. Thinking that he should shove his own wishes away to help Haru find himself.

Basically as we know Rin automatically assumed that Haru will go with him "to the world" since like 13, bc he wanted to be with him, so from his own point of view since he didn't know about Haru wanting the same thing, it looks like all this time he pushed him into that (I guess u can say selfishly) bc he finds it hard to "go on without him".

So what Rin was going through during Haru's outburst was partially self-loathing, bc it was the moment that he realized that he put his selfish wish to be with him over Haru's own wishes (which was also to be with him, but that's well.. they love their misunderstandings) and didn't even know what was on his mind all this time.

But then he was also hurt, bc that was also a moment that he realized that there was in fact a possibility that his and Haru's dream might just not be the same one, and that's why "what dream? what future? it's only you who cares about that!" was so painful.

So like... true about the fact that he just wanted to help him, even if it meant things won't work out the way he wanted, that's why he phrased it like that in his talk with Sousuke in Yakusoku like "I'll just show him how it can be" but if he doesn't want this (me), that's okay. and that's what he said in Australia, too, when Haru turned to him already after realizing that he can have that with Rin, Rin said "we can just try it out, that's all" and if you don't like it, then fuck this and that was when Haru stopped feeling pressured and feeling like a circus monkey.

And that's why I find Rin's behavior during Australian trip twice as sweet, bc I don't know how dude was even holding on there, I'm guessing it was extremely hard for him to shove it all away and don't accidentely say smth that will make Haru feel like he owns him smth, you know. That's why he always stopped himself after "I've always admired you" for example, he goes "ahh no, can't do that", but then he slips in bed again. He like tried to tell him without this sounding obligatory like when Sousuke went "well, if you quit, he quits, haven't you thought about that?" making Haru feel quilty. Rin went like I won't lie, without you it's hard for me, but it's just bc you're so amazing and you make me feel like I can do anything, but the question he ends his speech with is whether he makes Haru feel the same way or not?

Rin's just the person who always always just GOES for the thing he wants and loves, so it was clear that he was like "I can't let you go, I just can't let you go, I'm sorry. but it also kills me to see you that way, so please please say you want this with me too". That's why it was so AAAAAA cause it's like technically both of their futures were on the line there, so the way he was holding on so well and made this about Haru is just really sweet. He was like we can travel the world together, watch oceans and fountains and fishies, eat mackerel sandwiches, swim together, be together, do illegal stuff together, I won't let the system imprison you, spread your wings, babe xD He was like really considerate, but also fought for their happiness, so it's like two for two for me.

But yeah, 2x09.. I fucking love that scene, bc of reasons, but also I always get extemely angry, too, bc I'm like.. I hate when they leave half of the stuff unspoken and then their insecurities like add some absolute bullshit to the blank spaces and it all leads to me facepalming, bc I'm like... I know what one wants and the other wants and they want the same thing, but they think they don't and just... kill me pls lmao

Anyways, I'm so glad this is finally over and we won't have to go throught his ever again. Fucking finally, now just confess that you don't just want to be in one bed with him, but to fuck him too and we're ok xD