#[[ you really had to unleash him didn't you x'DDD ]]

[countlessrealities]

@misstantabismuses​​ sent:  ☀ Does the mun have other muses beside you? What is your opinion on them? (I need Rick to answer this XD) Muses talking about the mun || Accepting !

Ice blue eyes linger on the question for a moment, before Rick scoffs, but under the annoyance that curls his features there’s a little smirk. It’s not every day that he gets given free rein to speak his mind. Oh, he always does it anyway, but right now? He won’t face any consequences for it.

“I-I’m going to assume that t-the first part of this fuckin’ question is rhetorical, b-because fuckin’ duh. F-Fuckin’ multi-muse, i-it’s written everywhere. I-I’d have shit to say about that too, but eh. I-I guess I’ll leave it for the next rant.”

He shrugs, leaning against the workbench in a way that’s only apparently casual.

“Let’s get fuckin’ started.”

“Summer an-and Morty. Sum-Sum is cool, w-we have a lot of good parties an-and shit together. S-She annoys the hell out of me at times, b-but she makes up for it because she’s useful an-and I can always have her running errands for me. A-As for Morty...we have a complicated relationship, b-but he’s my little buddy. M-My adventure partner. S-So, I guess he sort of is my favourite...b-but if you tell anyone, I-I’ll fucking deny it. H-He’s also a pain in my ass w-when he gets too cocky or too stubborn, but...W-We work well together. W-We’re a fuckin’ good team. An-And he always includes me in his threads, one way or the other, s-so I fuckin’ appreciate that.”

“T-Then there’s Stan and A-991. W-We’re pals, he’s really fuckin’ fun to hang around. An-And it’s great to play cards with someone w-who’s almost as good as me at cheating. A-AR is one of the few Ricks I can stand. I-I guess we’re friends, kind of? S-Scotty has their canon for us, b-but it doesn’t apply to all my verses, s-so it’s mostly something they keep in their head.”

“An-And then there’s Jinx an-and Blitzo. O-Our Jinx is okay, I guess? S-She mostly keeps away, s-so I don’t really engage her. B-But it’s fun to see her playing pranks on the other muses...n-not so much when she targets me. B-Blitzo is fun to have around. W-We butt heads a lot an-and he’s a fuckin’ idiot and g-goddammit, you should see his room in the mindscape...N-Never seen that much horse stuff in the same place, holy shit. B-But I like his sense of humour, s-so we can have a laugh.”

“M-Millie and Stan’s great grandkid? N-No opinions. I-I’ve never talked to them, an-and I don’t really care to. I-I think Mabel is friends with my Morty, b-but it’s hard to tell. I-I don’t pay any attention to her at all.”

“T-The other three Ricks and the other Morty...T-They are basically fuckin’ useless. I-I don’t fuckin’ get why Scotty keeps them on the blog. I-I mean, they take up space an-and nothing else. I-It’s not like they get to write them, s-so they could just throw them out. N-No one wants to write with them, so w-what’s the goddamn point?”

He finally pauses for a moment, his expression slowly shifting into a scowl. And now for the grand finale. He has let the three people he can’t stand as the last for a reason.

“N-Now that all this is out of the way...t-the fuckin’ evil trio. I-I don’t even fuckin’ know where to start from. J-Jesus, have you fucking seen them? T-The demonic nacho, President Psycho an-and his Rick feral pet? W-What...Ho-How could anyone like them? T-They are fuckin’ creepy, fuckin’ annoying an-and just as fuckin’ pleasant as a cactus shoved up your ass w-without lube.”

He throws his hands in the air before crossing them on his chest.

“I-I have never seen tha-that fuckin’ triangle being normal, n-not even for five seconds. H-He just hangs there, making shitty deals an-and constantly finding loopholes an-and just staring at you with that one eye of yours...An-and don’t get me started on how he drinks or eat. O-Or on that goddamn monster tongue an-and teeth he grows out of his eyelids. S-Shits, he makes killer martinis an-and he’s really good at the piano, b-but everything else? He’s fuckin’ terrible.”

“T-The little freak is just...f-fuckin’ unbearable. W-What fourteen years old is that creepy? I-I swear, he’s supposed to be a version of Morty, b-but he’s a race on his own. H-He has this polite exterior, all empty smiles an-and elaborate words. I-It gives me the chills every time b-because I know it’s fake, b-but it’s so good that I-I almost thing it’s not. I-It drive me insane. An-And, worst of all? He’s smart. H-Here I say it and here I deny it, but fuck. Tha-That makes it even more dangerous. N-No empathy, ruthlessness an-and intelligence? I-I don’t give a shit about it, b-but damn. Keep him away.”

“An-And Evil Rick...I-I can see whom the little creep take after. T-The guy doesn’t have a hint of sanity left. H-He speaks just a few words an-and when he does...He’s fuckin’ scary. An-And I don’t scare easily. H-He lingers in the mindscape with this cold gloomy aura all around him an-and ruins my vibes all the time. An-And when he isn’t? He’s cooped up i-in his lab of horrors d-doing shit that would make Freddy Krueger shit himself. I-I had a few...not so pleasant experiences with him an-and let’s say that I’ve learnt to leave him alone.”

“An-And you know what’s worse than President Psycho an-and Psycho Senior? T-The two of them together. I-I’m not fuckin’ touching that. Nope. B-But Scotty has this fucked up verse where they ‘make up’ or-or whatever an-and it’s one of the most messed relationships I-I’ve ever seen.”

He shakes his head, as to chase away whatever image has popped up in the front of his mind.

“B-But yeah, I’m done. T-To sum it up? T-This place is an overcrowded zoo w-with some pleasant moments.”