#''the song of time. erasing everyones minds-- everybodies except mine''

[monpalace]

zach boucher loz raps being an integral part of my childhood is detrimental to my life bc why do i remember bar for bar a song i havent heard in almost 6yrs.

[wanna-rock-n-roll-in80s]

I don’t wanna annoy you or anything but would it be possible for you to write a soulmate au with bill please?

Oh, please, don’t think it’s annoying! Yes, I write from time to time, but requests are fun and it’s a nice experience, so let’s go :)

So, as you didn’t specified details, it came out like this, the first vision of it I got, hope that’s not too shitty! 😂

No special warnings, just some swearing. Photo credits to the owner.

Bill Skarsgård x Soulmate!reader SFW

You catch yourself at sorting out a stack of old papers. Automatically, unprompted. Third time in a raw. “This is it, dear” - you think, - “what a mess”. You should do other stuff. Yes, that idea of collecting all scattered things in your room sounds rather good. Suddenly you have an urge to find your flash drive with your favorite movies on it, but it’s not anywhere. “What the fuck” you curse trying even harder but unsuccessfully. “What the fuck again!” you hiss as you come across an unknown lighter “What is it doing here?! Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s a total crap”. You stop for a second and shout out loud to let off steam, luckily nobody’s home except of you. A phone ring interrupts your dramatic acting, “Oh hello Ash” you answer in a little husky voice “Yes I’m ok.. Yes.. Listen, I mean.. Shit, I’m not ok! Yes, again. Those frigging spats keep taking a life out of me, I can’t. Of course this is my friend, but sometimes she can be such an asshole screwing it up that I literally CAN’T” you sniffle “Yea you’re right, fuck it all, I’ll come tonight, I really need a change of scenery now. See ya!” definitely it was the best decision of today that you accepted your good friend’s offer to join them at the upcoming party. You close your eyes and rub your forehead as if meditating but then look again at that lighter angrily pointing a finger at it “Screw you! We’ll deal later.”

The closer you come to the venue, the better you feel, that’s your favorite bar and nice buddies hanging out there. Yeah, that’s the real deal! You slow down at some distance from the door and take out a cigarette, your usual little ritual. It’s rather dark already, you take your first puff, leisurely blow smoke and then accidentally see silhouettes of two arguing girls, you can’t hear them but that’s obviously pretty heated. You wince as those two painfully remind you of your own episode so you shut your eyes and hurry to turn away. Oh, that new sight fits much better! Some girls with glasses of wine dancing in place and laughing, mixed company merrily discussing something with barman and there is a tall man leaning his side to the wall and smoking kinda nervously. “Huh, here’s another poor creature with a crappy mood tonight” you smirk and are about to flick your cigarette butt and enter when your mobile bursts out buzzing in the guts of your backpack. “Hey! You rushed a little, I’m coming in!”.

An atmosphere inside devours you immediately, so you run up to hug Ash and thank him for inviting you. “You’re welcome, sis!” he smiles and hands you just opened bottle of beer “Relax!”. What you absolutely love about this bar is music playing here, almost each song of that old 80s Rock gives you nice vibes. You have a word with your friends who are here and there, there’s few times you notice that tall man whom you’ve seen outside. When you observe him once again, and he’s as nervous as he was before, it crosses your mind that maybe you should come up and ask what’s happened. But not right now, ‘cause in this very moment everybody hears some riffs of the next song and cheers up, and you’re no exception. No, you’re not too drunk, that’s just one of those moments when you try to reset yourself and not to think about anything. It’s definitely one of total favorite songs here and maybe not every single person dances, but absolutely everyone sings along “She cried more, more, more!”. Of course, you sing and dance like there’s no tomorrow with a beer in your hand till the very end of the song, when it’s over you see Ash and squeeze his shoulder and jump “God, that’s what I need!”. You shake empty bottle “Oh, I’ll go to get one more, more, more” you sing to the same tune and turn around so fast that you have no time to realize that you’re really too fast and bump into someone risking to fall.

“Uh, dude, so sorry! Thanks for catching me!” you blurt before rising your eyes at your spontaneous savior and freeze for a second. You seriously see sparkling flames into his beautiful green eyes, it’s that tall guy, he doesn’t look nervous already, but a little bit worried.“ Hey, is everything okay?” you ask gripping his sleeve, “It’s okay now after all day that I’ve been afraid I could miss something important, but now I feel I’m where I need to be” he says still not letting you fall. You stare at these sparkles for one more second but the dose of beer still works “Ohhhh don’t tell me you’ve devoured your lighter, pretty boy!” you burst with laughter at your dumb joke. Ash looks at you two with confusion “Sis, I was going to introduce my good friend Bill, but I see you make it on your own” he giggles. “Nooooo you don’t understand, Ash!” you chatter “look at his eyes, what’s happened? It’s glitter lenses, right?”. Ash’s incomprehension grows bigger when Bill interrupts you “Wait, I wanted to ask the same about her? What is it?”. “I think, guys” Ash says looking at you and at him by turns “that it’s enough beer for you, go outside and breath some fresh air” he guffaws and walks toward bar.

A next song thunders here and Bill leans to your ear asking “To be honest, I’m dying to go to smoke”, “Me too, and it’s too loud here to talk! Let’s go?” you ask in reply and you both finally walk out.

Bill pats on his pockets unsuccessfully searching for the lighter and you pull out yours and can’t hold from repeating yourself “You’ve actually devoured it, haven’t you?”, he smirks and brushes your shoulder like inviting you to take a seat on a bench. “But no kidding, it’s the first time I see such thing” he confesses touching a fire with a tip of his cigarette. “Same!” you say and you two continue to explore each other’s twinkling eyes. “I would look into them forever” Bill utters, mesmerized without stopping fumbling through all his pockets, and then he suddenly draws out a flash drive. Deep blue with three silver stripes and half-erased word. And with a little coffee cup key chain. And it’s the flash drive that you were searching for earlier this afternoon. “Shit, no way!!” you cry out and explain things to baffled Bill “it’s mine! But… How did it end up with you?”, he slowly puts it in your hand “Geez! I have no fucking clue but now I seem to guess where my lighter is!”

[maya20017-blog]

Reflection and Summary of weeks 2 and 3

Monday 17th

On day one of the drawing exercises we were introduced to the project and the medium that we would be using primarily, charcoal. I also named my plant Fergus. After doing a warm up to allow us to become familiar with the medium we drew our breath in a very freeing and mindful exercise. We then focused on using continuous line drawing to translate our plants for the first time on paper in a series of 12 short guided drawings. We ended the day by doing an A4 drawing with closer careful observation along with the introduction of the idea of annotative drawings.

Today I reconnected with charcoal and drawing. I was apprehensive at first but as soon as we started, I started enjoying myself. I found the continuous line drawing challenging in the sense that I was tempted to lift up my piece of charcoal and absentmindedly I did sometimes. I found it tough to stick to the short time constraints that were allotted for each of the 12 drawings. Through this though I learnt that I need to work faster, and that faster does not mean careless.

I chose the above drawing because I feel that it captures my growing confidence throughout the exercise. As time went on my lines got darker as I felt more certain of my mark making while still staying sensitive.

Tuesday 18th

Today we revisited our breath drawing from the previous day, working over it with more charcoal and then with our hands and erasers (reductive mark making). We then drew our plant quickly over the breath drawing. This was an introduction into drawing on top of a layer instead of a blank background. We then explored making tonal marks with the charcoal. Following on from this exercise we made an observational drawing using tonal mapping and no outlines. On the second half of the page we looked at composition and negative space. For our A4 drawing we had to start off with a medium tone across the entire page and then work additively with darker charcoal marks and reductively with an eraser.

I really found value in today’s class. Being introduced to working on a background of either previous drawings or a page of medium tone eliminated ‘the blank page’ that I find intimidating to start drawing on.

I have chosen my A4 drawing below as I really enjoyed working on a background and I found creating the highlights came across more effectively than previous drawings.

Thursday 20th

Today we started off blindfolded. We were tasked with exploring a piece of newsprint and work the page into something that embodies our plant. We were given the choice of removing the blind fold after a certain amount of time but I chose to keep it on and use touch as my way of exploring the page. I was playing with the idea that the newsprint used to be alive, as a plant while trying to incorporate my plant. We were then told (much to my dismay) that we now had to draw our creation with graphite.  I found this very challenging as I am not confident drawing man-made objects and I felt like I ended up with a formless blob. We then moved onto working with clay. I enjoyed getting my hands really dirty and immersing myself into ‘the earth’. We then had to give up control by drawing our clay creations with a clear glue stick. This I found both freeing as we could not see what we were doing but also tense for the same reason. Then using charcoal dust, we brought our drawings into the world of the visual. I was not entirely happy with how my drawing came out in the end.

I chose to show my ‘blob’ of a page drawing in graphite. This was a hard one for me and I felt like I really struggled and was constantly judging myself.

Friday 21st  

Today we looked at a new medium, ink.  We started off by creating a tonal scale with the three tones of ink we mixed. We then explored the types of marks that different tools could make. We then listened to the songs that we each sent through the previous night, interpreting the song through different tools, tones and mark making. At a point in the song we were then told to start looking at our plant and bring it across while still creating the same types of marks for that particular song. Initially I found it hard to vary the type of marks I was making but I got into it and found I particularly enjoyed using the stick. I started using my whole body, or trying to, which had been the instruction for the exercise. I ended up with ten across five pages. As time went on, I found that the results become more and more interesting.

We reflected on the days session by doing an A4 drawing using ink and any of the tools we had used during the day. I wanted to use the stick again. I really tried to focus on using the stick to make marks rather than draw with it like a pencil. This was fun and I had the image of traditional Chinese paintings and the way the artists use paint brushes as mark makers rather than the way I’ve traditionally used paintbrushes.

I like how after the day’s exercises I was open to experimenting with the last A4 drawing in a way that I would not normally have felt comfortable to do.

Monday 24th

Today we continued our exploration with ink. We started with a quick drawing of our plant on the A4 multimedia paper that we’ve been using for our end of session drawings. We were looking closely at the shifts in tonal range. I struggled with the fastness that was expected for this drawing again. We then paired up with the person opposite us. We each had to bring a secret object with us to draw next to our plant. We sat back to back and then described our object in detail without identifying the object to our partner without them seeing it so that they could draw it. I found out I am a better listener that describer, as my drawing was more accurate due to my partners comprehensive explanation. Then in silence we had to tie our hands together and we had to navigate drawing both of our plants at the same time in silence while tied to each other (as well as using an unusual tool we bought form home). We the returned to our own work spaces and drew both our own plant and object as well as our partners.

I found this whole day very challenging. I was having personal problems at the time and felt very out of control in myself and therefore really struggled to let go of control on so many different levels in one class. My tool was giving me problems as a shell isn’t very good at hold ink. I felt very stressed while using it. As a result, the last drawing we did that day, the individual one, we were told to use our tool we brought from home and then only later incorporating a paint brush. I however couldn’t face that and so decided I would just use a paint brush for the whole drawing.

Tuesday 25th

I was absent on this day. I drew the still life of the plants together at home from a photograph. I found this difficult as the drawing ended up looking quite flat. I really struggled to keep motivated and interested while doing this drawing. I think that after drawing from life for the past two weeks drawing from a photograph was a bit dull. 

 Thursday 27th

Today we started with a flow of consciousness writing exercise. I found this exercise interesting as I got to see my train of thoughts and how fast they were flowing. We then looked at our three pages highlighting any words that jumped out at us. This was interesting to revisit our thought flow after a short break. We then looked through the contextual research we had to do for our plant doing the same thing, highlighting things which we felt were important. Up until that point I didn’t really take much notice of the research. I didn’t take any of it in except for a very surface level of understanding.

We then started working on a mind map using the three starting points of each of our conscious writing pages; drawing is, I am, my plant… we added the phrases and words we had highlighted and then expend on those ideas making connections between the three mind maps (on one page). After this exercise I felt like I had developed more of a connection with my plant.

We then chose the two song drawings we liked least from the 21st and had to rip them up as well as our conscious flow pages from earlier. At first I was hesitant but I learnt to just go with the flow after a while. We were instructed to piece together the torn-up pages into something that resembles our plant/plant life that seems to be growing and alive without giving it a fixed shape. This was fun and fast-paced and quite explosive in nature, and looking at the end result I can clearly see those dynamic qualities coming across.  I then worked more into mine with some writing and a bit of drawing to bring my plant into it.

 Friday 28th

The last day of the class exercises. We were asked to send a video clip that we wanted to share with our plant the night before. Today we were going to be drawing from fast moving image (videos) on a projection from everyone’s clips. The challenge was to work quickly. To capture something that caught our eye or left an impression. Layering up the drawings. I felt quite daunted by this prospect but as we started, I fell into the drawing. It was a constant balance between adding to something you had and losing what you liked about the drawing and then trying to find it again. It was interesting everybody’s different approach and I ended up falling in love with my finished drawing.

The idea was to create a background for us to then add our plant into. I found this challenging as I felt that my drawing was almost complete without my plant.

I was quite amazed at how much I enjoyed this exercise. I liked working bigger than we had been previously and the loose gestural lines that were created from drawing from a moving subject matter.

Artist that uses drawing as primary medium

Ellen Gallagher

Morphia, 2008

Ink, pencil, watercolour, varnish and cut paper on paper

I chose this artist because I respond well to the visual elements of her work. The overall mood that is created is very calming to me. I chose this particular artwork because the mixed media and sensitivity of the work that connect with me and the seamless integration of the added material is inspiring. This is something I would like to explore myself.

Artist who works with plants and or environmental concerns

Andy Goldsworthy

Pebbles around hole

1956

What first caught my eye was the absolute symmetry, order and perfect colour gradient in his work. in, normally, wild and untamed nature. Such clean lines are unexpected in nature and the result of them is very pleasing to the eye. There is beauty in that untamed wildness, however I think humans are also drawn to the flawless precision that comes with development and the pathological need to interfere and control. I feel that the message of enhancing the natural beauty of nature, not detracting from it is important but also contradictory to my feelings as I almost feel guilty for liking this work so much because humans should not be interfering with nature, trying to make it ‘more beautiful’. It I nature. It is natural. It is beautiful.