#'doctor?? no they dont know what theyre doing here have some whiskey that'll fix it' and you have like a broken bone

[cinnamonest]

Yanderes that have the, “I will NOT let you interact with the outside world, especially filthy males!” mentality and a darling who doesn’t care about anything the yandere does, just really wants to go to the dentist cause they need jaw surgery and its incredibly painful. - 🍪

Okay this is more generalized but I actually really like the concept of "darling has a medical issue but to help you have to take them outside and interact with others", like what do you do? They're torn between wanting to keep you locked away, but not wanting you to get worse or be in pain.

Of those, though, a lot of it depends on how bad your problem is. If it's as simple as an ache like the mouth, or a minor wound or a common illness, well... you don't need to see a doctor or dentist or whatever. There's a good chance it'll heal on its own, right? You'll be fine. The problem is when sickness progresses to a more severe state, or more serious medical complications.

Of the core group fitting that descriptor, though, it's ultimately a matter of the resources available to them (as well as, of course, individual stubbornness). Diluc and Ayato both have a significant advantage that more or less ruins any opportunity you could have to fake an illness or wound and get away that way. Being wealthy and important, they can very easily just pay for a house visit from a doctor, dentist, pharmacist, any sort of medical professional. So basically it's a non-issue, as this way of taking care of it means that there's no chance for you to slip out of their grasp and go running off, but also, he can sit there and observe the entire time, ensuring nothing happens he wouldn't want. Even then, both have spent the entirety or the vast majority of their lives in their respective areas of residence, so they most likely have a few connections of individuals they trust to not ask too many questions and not say anything to anyone else. And even if trust isn't enough, doubling the payment will essentially ensure confidentiality.

Zhongli, Tighnari, and Albedo all have a similar approach: thinking they can take care of you themselves, and that there's no need for seeking outside help without first attempting to deal with it themselves. This is, obviously, a bit of an issue, as neither are really suited to be dealing with medical problems.

Unsurprisingly, this is most likely to work out under Tighnari's care, given he has an expansive knowledge of medicinal plants and the general ailments they're known to cure. However, this strategy is more likely to work out under Zhongli's efforts than Albedo's. See, while Albedo has more scientific knowledge, his is mostly in the realm of plants, inorganic materials, and raw chemicals. These are, as you can imagine, significantly different from people. Medical alchemy is one of the core subfields of the subject, but it's actually not his best area, he's much more inclined to synthesis and creation and chemistry and... you get the idea. Sometimes this ends up creating more problems than it solves. Zhongli on the other hand, despite not having any real medical background, actually knows a great deal about how to fix various ailments, cultural knowledge passed down over time. Think of it like how grandmas usually have little tricks of common items that work wonders, some even better than actual medicine. Aches and pains are cured with this, nausea with this, drowsiness with this... expect to drink a lot of various teas, too.

For something that isn't within their realm of knowledge, though, like anything needing to be removed or surgical procedure... they'd put it off as long as possible. But they're all three very realistic people, so eventually, they'd reach a point where they know they have to do something to spare you the pain or potential infection or rot. You'll be given a long, unsettling speech about the consequences of doing something you shouldn't, and you'll be watched like a hawk the entire time, but they will eventually let you go.

Xiao and Kaeya are in a similarly bad spot. Neither has any experience with medicine as a practice in any capacity, both are very strict on keeping you tucked away from the outside world, and perhaps both a bit inconsiderate in terms of prioritizing their imperatives over your discomfort. Xiao in particular also vastly overestimates the human body's capabilities, which is potentially dangerous for you -- what do you mean, you need to see a doctor for a broken bone? Doesn't it heal on its own in a couple of days? And a 106°/40° fever isn't really that bad, is it? You're probably making that up… at least at the opposite end, though, both will give you alcohol to help with the discomfort. Kaeya knows from experience, Xiao has heard that it helps human pains, both will procure it for you... but that can't solve the issue forever, of course.

In the end, similarly to the ones above, they'll take you to someone if it becomes bad enough, but it has to be like life-threatening bad, whereas the ones above would do it if you were just in a lot of pain. Not with these two -- pain is just something you'll have to endure… but hey, Kaeya will give you alcohol to numb it, so that's something.

Razor is by far the worst to be stuck with, though. In his mind, human medicine is unnecessary and useless. He's survived everything without it, so that means anyone can. You just need water and to sleep a lot. And if the condition of your issue gets worse? Drink more water. Infection of some kind? Clean it with water. Fever and chills? He'll carry you over to the river and set you down in it for a bit.

Your condition has to get really bad before he's willing to take you to a human medical professional of any kind. Like, verge-of-death bad. So unfortunately, if you have a minor issue like an ache, you're gonna be stuck with it for the foreseeable future.