#'i'll get cardan something of his own' because ryan does care about onyx but it's in a sick and twisted and dehumanizing way

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

The Winged Servant - 7

cws: minor character death, panic attack, multiple whumpers, some comfort from whumper, let me know if I'm missing anything!

masterlist

I was outside.

Not outside outside. I was locked in the trunk of a van, because my wings hadn’t fit when I’d been put in the backseat. But it was still- I had left the house for the first time I could remember. And it had rained earlier, or I assumed so, because I could hear the wheels splashing in the mud and I could smell the earthy rain smell. Pet… Pet something. Peticore? That wasn’t right.

Regardless, I was grateful to be taken outside. I would've voiced my gratitude until my voice was scratchy if I hadn't been told to keep myself silent.

The princes, in the backseat of the van, kept whispering. They were quiet enough that I couldn't hear what they were saying, but occasionally I thought I heard my name. The princes discussed me frequently, but not usually… like this. Outside and on our way to god knew where—except, actually, they knew where.

The car rolled to a stop, and there was a lot more whispering, this time with plenty of voices I didn't recognize. There were more cars than the one that I’d been put in, I was almost sure, but no one had told me how many.

Eventually someone grabbed me and pulled me out of the car, onto the muddy ground.

Petrichor. That’s what it was. Petrichor, the smell of the wet earth after it’d rained. It’d been a while, but it smelled nice. I’d missed it.

"Focus, idiot," the Queen muttered in front of me, and I winced, nodding. Obviously I hadn't been brought here just to gawk; things needed to be done. "Do you see that doorway over there?" She gestured to an area behind me, and I blinked. I wasn't sure how I'd missed it before.

Two women stood in front of a stone arch—the entrance to something. A castle, maybe? There wasn't a door, but clearly whatever was inside was important. The women were guarding it. Swords and guns hung at their sides.

"I need you to go over there," Her Majesty continued, "and tell them that you're a scout from the angel negotiation team."

"The… what?"

"Angel negotiation team. You don't need to know what it is, so long as you can spit the words out at them. Say that you want to speak to King Kieran. Understand?"

"Yes, Your Majesty, but I thought this country didn’t have a king," I said, and she rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't matter, Onyx. You just have to memorize the words. Can you do that, or do I have to get someone else to do every little thing for you?"

"Angel negotiation team," I repeated, enunciating every syllable. "King Kieran. Yes, Your Majesty. I can do that." I had already been punished once tonight. I couldn’t take- I had to be able to do the rest of this right.

"Good." She pushed me away from the car, away from a tree that I hadn't noticed we were hiding behind, and into the eyesight of the guards.

"Hello?" one called, and I stumbled closer.

"Hello, Ma’am, I-" Was I supposed to give them my name? "I'm Onyx. I'm a, a scout for the… angel negotiation team?"

One of the guards had a long ponytail with purple tips. She looked pretty, and also she looked like she didn't believe me for a second. "Right. And why are you here in the middle of the night? By yourself?"

"I, um." The queen hadn't told me what to say if I was asked questions. "Can I speak with the king? King Kieran?"

Someone was behind her, someone that I could see but was out of the guards’ line of sight as long as no one turned around. It was a stranger, or- not quite a stranger, because they’d been there when I was being put in the van in the first place, but not someone I knew. The guard with purple hair stared at me, noticed my eyes fixed behind her, and started to turn around when-

The stranger ran a sword clean through the woman with purple hair. Her eyes widened for a moment before she fell to the ground.

I stood there, frozen, while the other guard tried to pull a weapon out. Her efforts didn’t matter. The stranger hit her on the back of the head with a sword, and she crumpled to the ground.

Prince Cardan seemed to materialize from nowhere, stepping out from behind something. He laughed, the sound echoing in the night, but the purple haired girl didn't stir at the noise.

I'd had wounds in my torso before. I'd bled a lot before, but I'd never had a blade go all the way through me.

The queen wouldn't use me as an accomplice to murder, would she? Without telling me what was going to happen?

(She would. She would, she'd do whatever she needed because she was more important than the rest of us and we all knew it, but she wouldn't really-)

A hand clapped me on the back, and only my training kept me from screaming. It was Cardan, just Prince Cardan, laughing and congratulating me on my part in the murder of this woman. Prince Cardan was happy, Prince Ryan was high fiving him—they were happy, right? This was a good thing, this was not immoral, even Her Majesty looked pleased with me.

(The guard would not look pleased with anyone, ever again.)

But it didn’t matter, did it? I would have died for Her Majesty, if she’d asked. I wouldn’t want to die, of course, but I would have, for any member of the royal family. And if the royal family was happy that this person was dead, then that was how it was supposed to be, and I should be happy about it too. Maybe she was a traitor. Maybe she was a murderer, or, or… something. Maybe she had done something to deserve this. And it didn’t matter even if she didn’t, because the royal family didn’t need excuses to justify carrying out their will.

“Onyx?”

Someone was saying my name. I should bow. I should respond and ask what I could do to help. I should- fuck. I couldn’t move. I had sat down on the floor, at some point, and I didn’t know when, and I needed to do my duties and I couldn’t move.

“C’mon, Onyx, you’re alright.” My elbows were grabbed, and I was pulled to my feet, and I tried to focus on the voice in front of me. “You’re fine.”

“I’m, I’m sorry, Your,” was that Prince Ryan?, “Your Highness.”

“Mhm. I know you can be… fragile, sometimes, but you need to get it together right now. Especially because the guns are going to be loud. We’re not using guns at the moment, because we don’t want them to know we’re here yet, but we’re going to, and they’re going to be loud, and you’re a good servant but you’re not exactly known for your quick and clever responses to things.”

“I’m sorry, I’m- my apologies, Your, Your-” I couldn’t focus and the words weren’t coming out the way I wanted them too and-

“Okay. See, this is what I mean. Breathe. Calm down. Just stay on your feet, okay? Stay on your feet, and stay behind me, and you’ll be okay. Can you do that?”

I nodded frantically, and Prince Ryan tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. He wasn’t shaking like I was, but his eyes were wider than normal, and I wondered if he was scared too.

“It’ll be better, once we’re done with this,” he said quietly, his voice slightly strained in a way I hadn’t heard before. “You’ll have a better room and an easier schedule and I’ll get Cardan something of his own so that you won’t have to deal with him anymore. But we’ve gotta get through tonight. Okay?”

Most of those words didn’t matter to me. All that could ever matter to me was finding where in the sentence the command was. Get through tonight. Get through tonight. “Yes, Your Highness.”

~

taglist (lmk if you'd like to be added/removed): @kaleidoscope-of-thoughts @toyybox @rainydaywhump