#'it'll affect the resale value!'

[canongf-archive]

I’m super sorry to send in for advice, but I’m kinda in a weird bind that I know is my own creation, yet I can’t seem to come to a conclusive resolution on.

I have a lot of F/Os. Like, even if I were to just talk about romantic ones, I’ve got a lot. And I thought I’d be fine about it because I’m okay sharing any that aren’t OCs.. but now I’m more aware that I’m losing chances at real online friendships because I have so many. My F/Os give me so much comfort and help me feel okay, and I’m too selfish to cut down on my list or truly stop adding more when I do end up falling in love again.

It’s just… now I feel like *at best* I’m going to be friendless, and at WORST someone is going to see my blog and be hurt because someone they love so dearly and more exclusively is on my long, long list. I don’t want to cause anyone pain, but I’m too scared to be alone and lose the comforts of my F/Os.

Do you have any thoughts? Even just some kind words or assurances that I’m not doing bad by loving so much?

💗 oh anon, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!!!!! 💗

i'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this, it can be really hard!!! but i want you to know a few things!!!

self shipping is for you. i think it is so wonderful that you care so much about the feelings of other people!!! but ultimately!!! this self shipping experience is yours and yours alone. which means you gotta do what makes you happiest. it means you gotta ship with the characters that you like in whatever way that feels best.

and yeah, there is a possibility that someone will see your blog and they'll see that you ship with a character that they love and they'll be bothered or they'll be hurt by it! and that sucks! but that's not your responsibility. you don't have to tone yourself down or give up what makes you happy in an attempt to accommodate the feelings of someone you don't know just on the off chance that they might find themselves uncomfortable. that's not fair to you!!!

sometimes people get uncomfortable when we live our truth. no matter what it is. whether it's self shipping or it's something else entirely. but that doesn't mean that we're doing anything wrong, or that we need to change. people will get uncomfortable regardless of what you do. we just have to be kind and do what's best for us, and everything else will fall into place.

it's kind of like... you know when someone buys a house and they decide they want to paint the walls pink, but everyone says "that'll affect the resale value!" ? but it doesn't make any sense, because why would you compromise and live in a house that you don't like and you don't feel like you can get comfortable in just because you might decide to sell it one day and there's a chance that the person that will buy it hates the color pink?

this is about you. this is your place. paint the walls pink!!! ship with as many characters as you like!!!

it doesn't make you a bad person!!! and it doesn't mean you'll be friendless either!!! there are so many people that love to share F/Os!!! there are so many people that love to gush about characters that you both enjoy!!! there are so many people that only ship with characters in a platonic or familial way, so they won't be hurt by someone shipping with them romantically!!! there are so many people that have such niche F/Os that there's no way you'd share them!!! there are people that ship with their own OCs like you!!! there are so many people that you might bond with over something that's completely unrelated to self shipping altogether!!! there are so many options for you. there are so many people who would fucking love pink walls.

so keep doing what you're doing, anon. you're good. everything is okay. it's all gonna work out just fine for you!!! 💗💗💗