#'we handle our cookies manually because our web app framework doesn't have anything for that' is an unsettling statement to start with

[rabbiteclair]

I cannot physically express the fuckery I just had to deal with at work

so instead, let's metaphorically say that I am a mechanic instead, and somebody calls me up and complains that their car always says that they're speeding

so I spend hours trying to help them through this, trying to rule out basic stuff. Except their responses to a lot of my questions and instructions are kinda hard to parse, until finally, they start letting very strange things slip

like when I ask their speed, they say it's "six". when I ask what units that's in, they don't know what a 'unit' is

and after much questioning they're like "oh yeah haha my car didn't come with one of those 'speedometer' thingamajigs" like that's a completely normal thing to say, and it comes out that they are gauging the speed by leaning out the window and eyeballing the tires now and then

but also they aren't sure how the math works, so they approximate the tires as squares.

and to simplify the math more they drop a brick on the accelerator and try not to touch the brake too often