#'you remind me of what i couldve been. but that reminder aint much help'

[thedeafprophet]

Reminders - Radical Face

Listening to this song on Alex's playlist again whilst ive been finishing off light fingers is just :,) 👍

[geee-three]

who wants loredrops/outline for my shizumafu actor au thats not about shizuku or mafuyu in the slightest (it is shuffle units. yes it is lovin beats and yes they live together

chapter one: the you i recall

shiho pov (wednesday)

minoshiho hanging out, chatting

mino playing project diva, shiho mostly watching (just being comfy in each others presence)

shiho remembers ichi

regrets being so preoccupied w/ someone who just went offline during the few times shizuku was home

winces at the mental mention of shizuku

between perfect grades, perfect looks on stage and camera, and a perfect personality, shiho's rough aggression and fading passion fell flat

not the best sister to have for your mental health

however hsihos also a shitty sister in return

rememebrs she hasnt called shizuku in months

decides to try and call her that evening

two hours later

mino attempting to help hona cook. failing.

shiho escapes the smoke and remembers to call shizukus private number (reminded by terrible cooking)

voicemail

fuck. try again

leave a voicemail this time. hey sis im sorry we havent caught up recently id like to talk if you have the time via text is ok too i just want to make sure youre ok yknow after you looked after me for so long and like i know were not as close as we couldve been and im sorry for that yeah? ok cool uh text me whenever i'll make it work around your schedule

fuck she rambled and got choked up

mizuki enter. heard all of it. you ok bud

no but its whatever because minori is burning down the kitchen

mizuki suggests heading out for the evening. shiho would like that but is expecting mizuki to suggest shopping (painful when you hate mirrors bc all you see is a flawed half baked version of your sister)

mizuki suggests live house instead. happens that its one of the ones they perform at sometimes. wink

ok alright lessgo??

chapter two (the regret i hold so dear)

shiho pov (wednesday)

standout performance.

shiho does NOT WANT them to see her

vbs performence.

shiho does NOT WANT saki to see her. mizuki wants to catch up with an and because they also perform here sometimes noone questions it when mizuki drags shiho into the performers area

mizuki and an chat, an and shiho exchange a few words

saki and shiho eye each other warily and keep their distance

unforch for everyone iori wants to get involved

tono twins agenda. iori gets into an argument w/ akito about arata. saki steps in and yells at iori for like. three minutes.

shiho very quickly and visibly remembers how hot saki is and proceeds to ignore that.

iori sulks off and spots shiho just standing next to mizuki w/ nothing to do

proceeds to pick a fight bc shiho wouldnt join standout

shiho Cannot Do This today and pretty much just takes it until saki comes along and points out mio is RIGHT THERE BABES chill out

shiho thanks saki and saki returns it with a "this doesnt mean i like you i still hate your guts"

why wtf did i do i thought we just drifted apart

do you not remember what happend to ichika. its like at least a third your fault.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ICHIKA??

ooooooo did you not know. fuck. uh bye toya save me (vbs drag an and haruka away from their gossip sesh w/ mizook)

they get back and minokoha are like yall went to a vbs live w/o us?? traitors?? but shiho shoves past them

shiho texts saki like tenma what happened tell me rn or i'll ask hoshino ans sakis like yeah babes u might have problems w/ that

they call saki cries shiho comes very close to it

they agree to keep it from honami which is kinda hard bc lvb practically live in the same house with three rooms and paper thin walls (they do all visit their parents still for like two or three weeks like yall they aint graduated) (theres more deets about this but its in a google doc somewhere)

chatper 3 (dead in the water)

kohane pov (thursday)

kohane figures something Is Up with shiho and goes to look for her

overly detailled description of The House (honakoha room, mizumino room, shiho room, kitchen, one bathroom one bathroom + shower) (shiho gets a solo room bc shes there pretty much full time. mizukis also there a lot and minoris not so they share)

shiho is Not In The House

kohane texts the gc all panicked and no-ones seen her

she runs around all nearby livehouses and cafes looking for shiho (it is raining though and also like 2pm)

finds shiho fucking drenched, phone dead, sitting in a bus stop. she looks like she hasnt felt an emotion in weeks

she sees kohane and looks like shes about to cry

they sit in the bus stop for a long while and talk about a lot of stuff and shiho doesnt mention shizuku but kohane knows, somehow, and

and when they'd sat for long enough and the bus never came, kohane took her hand - rough and calloused, nails cracked and chipped, made for punching walls and tearing apart people and smashing hearts like glass - in hers - smooth like silk, soft and warm, nails delicately painted in two colours, a light pink and a crimson, alternaiting, made for taking photographs and scrapbooking and writing calligraphy, hands that had vollenteered to join something so fleeting and passionate and violent at its core that it might break everyone involved just like it did before, apparently - and she realised she was staring, just as shiho was. this tiny flame between them, that they'd ignored long enough. in all honesty, shiho was the reason she ever got involved in this. [insert recalling ans first performance here and how fuckn. scared she was.] she sighed. "c'mon, babes. lets get you home."

"wait is mizukis slang rubbing off on you. fuck no no no." cue laughing

kohane, tiny hampter she is, drags back this big ass sopping wet wolf and forces said wolf to shower and eat a proper meal. showering not pictured because this is kohane pov and kohane much as she is gay is not a creep

chapter four (could we rest on common ground)

shiho pov (sunday)

mizuki drags shiho out of the house (where she has been moping pm since thursday) to a party. not her style but wtv

mizukis only going bc of an, shiho learns.

however an dragged out akito because she didnt know if mizuki was going or not.

mizuan frolick off to go get drunk (theyre both just about 18 dwdw this is set in early november) leaving akito and shiho behind

they stand there awkwardly holding red solo cups for a minute. ok well shiho has a can of beer but akito has a red solo cup.

wait why. hes still 17. shiho simply does not bring up the fact she is also 17.

they begin to gossip. shihos never met arata and wants to know about iori's "dumb gay twin", in iori's words. (ignore that iori is also gay and dumb). akito only talks about arata in the sense that he is a massive fucking bastard

by this point he decides actually yeah i need a drink

he briefly mentions that souma gave toya sampling lessons (see: walk on and on) and he has to be at least partially greatful to arata for introducing the two bc yknow while toya is amazing (quick gay tangent. shiho turns into homophobic dog meme.) he wouldnt be as confident to become the groups offical composer if souma hadnt helped

then he asks how shiho knows iori anyway and shiho explains she works as a stand-in bassist at live houses pretty frequently (which akito didnt know bc he mostly frequents voice only live houses rather than those w/ live music) and got to know iori's band pretty well, though not as much mio bc she was standing in for mio. this became more frequent and shiho finds out that mio just up and quit the band because her and iori were going through a rough patch, and iori invited (read: demanded) shiho join, which she refused

akito asks how she knows saki and if theyre on speaking terms yet (he wants to collab he thinks this emo bassist is cool (read: he made a friend) (this is rare)) and shiho thinks they are? they met in middle school right before saki was in hospital but they drifted apart as soon as she got out because the friend that was holding them together (dont say commited suicide girlirpops. brain-mizuki stfu) ditched them. (thats not better girl. brain-mizuki stfu)

they talk about music (akito infodumps about radder) and decide yeah that collab would be cool. (ignore the fact that kohane and minori will faint on the spot.)

the two talk for a while longer, eventually conversations turn to akito complaining about his sister (ena we know her we love her). shiho tells him to be greatful that his sister is around and returns his calls. akito responds that is sounds like they have diffrent types of dysfunctional siblings, which gets a giggle out of her. (when was the last time she laughed, properly?)

mizuan turn up, shitfaced and covered in hickeys. akishiho grimace at each other and take their respective lesbian. b4 they leave, shiho just about works up the courage to grab akitos number under the guise of that potential collab (made a friend) and on the way back mumbles something about if you (mizuki) throw up in my bed again i am ditching you on the street.

chapter 5: normalicy is changing, for the both of us.

shizuku pov

finally finds time to call shiho back

uh uh uh write this later (havent planned very thouroughly but there are Vibes)

they talk about like. futile things. to distract themselves from just how broken their relationship is.

chapter six: trust me, baby, you'll do fine

mizuki pov

i have no clue what happens here but chapter two was supposed to be mizook pov but i changed it to shiho and we need a mizook pov

note: must be at night. like 11pm maybe?

they are In the Kitchen. shiho is making depression ramen at 11pm

everyone is "asleep" (phone time in bed) and mizuki goes to get water (talk to shiho somewhat privately)

mizuki calls out shiho on avoiding honami and asks her why shiho is edging around the topic and mizuki decides not to push it because she can read people unlike everyone else in this fucking house

oh and shiho refuses to talk about shizuku

on that platonic mizushiho agenda folks

mizushiho hug scene. btw.

end it off with a "wait theres some people id like you to meet" (jumpscare the readers w/ discord next week)

chapter seven: don't think too hard about it

shiho pov (sorta)

got added to a nightcord server by mizuki (who thought it would cheer her up)

kanade (k), ena (not clickbait!!), mizuki (qt pie), airi (professional h8ter) <- spelling intentional on my part but not airis, mafuyu (anonymous), minori (riririn), honami (k's bbg) <- set by mizuki and she doesnt have the heart to change it, shiho (bunny) <- name changed by mizuki and she cant switch it back bc no admin

chatfic style

chill chapter. no sads.

mafuyu primerially responds via a single multisyllabaic word

ena and airi flirt in general and mizuki tells them theyre too single to be in a server with TWO yuris

chapter eight: connections like a web of lies

mino pov

shiho is texting akito (bc they friends now :D)

minori is a spying bitch and leans over her shoulder only to discover that shiho is texting her cousion

wtf shiho??

the explaination "we were chaperoning lesbians at a party together" makes even less sense

she messages akito like "hey dude are you friends with an emo bassist with light blue hair" and hes like "yeah the one in your band" and shes like "were you chaperoning lesbians together??" and hes like "thats one way of putting it i have a photo one sec" and minoris like "SINCE WHEN IS YOUR HAIR NEON ORANGE???" and hes like "since i dyed it like. four years ago. yknow to look more like the rest of the family" and she is shellshocked then it hits her "wiat youre shinonome from vbs" and hes like "were you not going to shows to support me" and shes like "no im there to simp after kiritani haruka the same as i have been since i was like. five." and hes like "oh yeah i forgot youre a chronic lesbian"

shiho is fucking wheezing this is the funniest shit shes seen all week

(note: ena is ginger in this and shiho has light blue hair not grey. cool? cool.)

chapter nine: we'll be alright as long as we keep on trying

shiho pov

shiho and shizuku meet up in person

they talk about when they were kids, and how everythings changed

shizuku laments how she has to be here in disguise and wishes she could just be more open with everyone

shiho asks after mafuyu eventually and shizuku starts rambling like a lovesick victorain

"so the rumors are true then" "i dont go on twitter for a reason shii"

shiho mentions the way the bills are split (i.e. she pays a third of everything and hasnt told anyone) and how she hates decieving people. "and when they move in properly, because they probably will, im gonna have to tell them all and theyll be upset with me for lying."

shizuku doesnt have an anwser for her but tells her she will never have to worry about the amount as long as shes alive.

when shiho gets home shizukus wired her more than enough to make six months of rent

chapter ten: ghost girl dancing on the rooftop with me

august 10th. saki pov.

texts shiho pretty much outta the blue.

"hey, tomorrow is her birthday. she'd be turning 18. i've been celebrating it for her, would you like to join me?"

they go to the gravesite with gifts for her. saki brings a phenny plushie and champange (it is her 18th birthday after all) and shiho brings a (recent) miku album and a geranium boquet (https://static.miraheze.org/projectsekaiwiki/b/b3/4koma_60_en.jpg)

they do a toast to what couldve been and pour three glasses. bittersweet yknow.

they play the miku album (they figure she hasnt heard it yet)

there isnt any flowers or a wreath from her parents. they came at night, too, so they had the whole day. saki figures they just pushed her to the back of their minds and forgot. "just like they did when she was alive".

they almost have a gay moment but saki stops it and tells shiho that "not here, not today."

chapter eleven: revealed in an instant

shiho works hard to cover her tracks but life360 works harder

honami pov

making food at 2am. (everytime she adds an ingredient, the voice in her head says something like "im going to hell" "im a glutton" "ill be wider than i am tall b4 long" even though shes literally making egg fried rice)

shiho comes back from graveyard. its like 2am. honami is cutting spring onions for the egg fried rice.

she wouldnt meet her gaze, keeping her back facing the door. "why are you back so late?" "i- i cant tell you." "why not?" "i promised." "promised who?" "i cant tell you that either. i wish i could, hona, but-" honami sighed, setting down her knife, and sprinking thinly sliced spring onions over the two bowls of egg friend rice. it'd always been her go-to comfort food. "sit down, shiho. we need to talk."

and they talk. honami pokes about why shihos been avoiding her and it takes very little poking for shiho to come clean about it all (saki and ichika)

honami stared down at her bowl. she'd barely touched it. "go to bed, shiho." "are you sure? you look like you could use some company." "yeah. yeah, i'm sure." shiho squeezed her shoulder as she walked past, and honami waited until she heard the lights click off before practically sprinting to the sink, gripping it like a life support, staring at her reflection in the muddy water. (the sink, of course, was soaking a cast-iron pan that minori had managed to set on fire.)

well, this was her reflection. a girl who barely squeezed by as "chubby" and couldn't do anything right and who's grades plummeted the moment she tried to do anything else with her life who barely fucking graduated and is currently trying to keep it together and make ends meet with her failing band and her part-time job and her girlfriend (yet another thing wrong about her) that she didn't deserve and is now a murderer.

she wished she couldve been born right, or maybe just not been born at all, but she was here now and she had to stay positive. just until their big break.

i havent planned the rest of it yet but. teehee :3

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Wrecked

I sit shivering from fear and cold, my clothes dripping from the freezing rain outside. I have heard about negan and the saviors but had never ran into them. I had been alone since my boyfriend abandoned me, how long was it, six months, a year. I had no idea all i knew is it was spring when we were cornered in that gas station by walkers and now it was winter.

Jake, my boyfriend at the time said the gas station looked safe, but nothing ever is safe these days. I followed him to get supplies and luckily this place hadnt been raided yet. We split up, i go for canned foods, water and medical supplies, jake goes for ammo and weapons.

I heard the walker outside, i ducked and waited until i thought it was clear. Turns out more made their way to us. Jake turned the corner just as i was closing my bag, he signaled for walkers outside. I nodded and crawled across the floor away from the walkers sights. I stood next to jake, "we cant go out the front way." Jake nodded and signaled towards a exit in the back,, i nodded and followed him.

Jake turns a corner, the big exit sign in sight. Jake turns the knob and i cringe as it squeaks loudly. He opens the door just a crack to make sure its clear then opens it all the way. Everything seemed to blur then. A walker grabbed jakes arm, the walkers arm detached as jake slammed the door back shut.

I heard glass breaking and bodies hitting the floor. I looked around and seen the managers office and rushed towards it, twisting the knob and thank god it was unlocked. "Jake! Over here!"

He lets go of the door and runs to where i am. I see the walkers coming in from where jake just stood. I slammed the door and slid the lock in place. The walkers started pushing and banging on the door, jake used all of his weight and pushed against the door.

"(Y/n) help me hold the door." I pushed all my weight against the door, didnt seem like it did much good from the way the hinges were creaking with every push. We looked desperately for a way out, not seeing anything in my sight that would help us i followed jakes gaze to the heat duct above the desk. "Think we could reach it?" I say as the door shook violently.

He looks me deeep in the eyes, "i can for sure."

I nodded, "okay you go first while i hold the door then you pull me up."

He shook his head, "theyll get in before i could reach you."

"What do we do then? We cant just stay in this room." I say trying to hold back the tears.

He leans towards me and kisses me, "i love you." He whispers agaainst my lips.

"I love you too." I say knowing this would be our last kiss. Suddenly jake lurches forward jumping up on the desk and pulling the cover to the duct off. "What are you doing?" I yell as the door gives way more.

He shrugs, "survival of the fittest. Ill miss ya." He climbs into the duct, leaving me behind.

"You son of a bitch!" I scream. I check to see how many bullets i have left in my handgun, just one. If those damn things wanted a meal they aint getting me alive. I look over at the file cabinet and decide to fight for my life.

I made a quick lunge for the file cabinet and push it, i seen the door giving way but i had to do something. I push and it tilts, i push with all my sttength and huff out a breath as it falls over just as the doors hinges give. I jumped up on the desk and jump towards the opening of the duct, almost damn it. The door begins to break more, a walker is halfway through. The pack on my back is making it hard to jump so i open it, grab a water bottle, a first aid kit and a can of spam.

The walker is crawling through as i make one last attempt to jump. I jump and get a grip inside the vent. I pull with all my strength, i have my upper body laying inside the vent as the walker grabs my boot. I kick franticly but its grip is relentless. I grab my handgun from my belt and shoot the walker in the head. Throwing the gun down as i pull myself the rest of the way into the vent.

I lay there for a minute trying to catch my breath. I can hear the walkers below scratching and clawing trying to get to the vent, thankfully i know they cant. After that day i have been on my own, i never found jake even if i did id probably kill him for leaving me.

I sit now in a room that reminds me of a interrigation room at a police station, but at least it was dry and warm. The man who now sat in front of me his name was simon, his 60's porno mustache stood out to me and thats how i remembered his name. "So little lady, where are you from?"

I look up confused, this wasnt the question i had been expecting. He shook his head, "what i mean is what group are you from."

I shake my head, "im not with any group."

He leaned forward in his chair and intertwined his fingers. "Dont lie to me, its better if you just tell me before the main man gets here."

"Im not lying. Ive been on my own for months." I say shivering, i hear a door open and a tall dark haired man wearing a leather jacket walked in. He swung a barbwired covered bat around as he whistled some kind of tune.

He took in my appearance and nudged simon with his elbow, "simon, be a gentleman and get the lady a blanket." Simon didnt hesitate, he stood and left the room when he came back in he handed the man the blanket and exited the room. He walked over towards me and wrapped the blanket around my shoulders, i clutched it and shrunk into it getting all the warmth i could.

He walked back around the table and sat down, "whats your name doll?" He asked, i couldnt help the way his voice warmed me on the inside.

"(Y/n)" my teeth had stopped chattering and my toes and fingers strated to get the feeling back in them.

He smiled and nodded, "im negan." I felt the fear creep back up my spine at the mention of the name i had heard so much of. He chuckled, "i take it youve heard of me."

I nodded, theres no reason to lie because what have i got to lose. "Yeah quite a bit actually."

He ran his tongue over his teeth as he leaned back in his chair. "Whats a pretty little thing like you doing all alone out in this cold?"

"I have nowhere to go." I say matter of factly.

Negan furrows his brow, "of course you do. If youve heard of me then youve heard of the sanctuary, you couldve always come here. How long have you been on your own?"

I shrug, "i dont really know 6 months to a year. I dont even know what month it is."

"Its december." He says handing me a bottle of water, i down it in a matter of seconds. "How long since you have ate?"

I place the bottle down on the table gently, "three days ago." He nods then goes to the door, he ls talking to someone. He shuts the door a moment later then sits back down in the chair across from me.

"What group were you with? Whyd you leave?" He crosses his leg to where his ankle is resting on his knee.

"I wasnt with a group. It was just me and my boyfriend for a while. Then we got cornered one day and he chose to save his own ass and left me behind. I got out though thankfully. Ive been on my own ever since." Theres a knock on the door and negan goes to answer it, he comes back holding a tray of food. My stomach rumbled at the smell of whatever it was, he placed it in front of me. There was various vegetables, soup, and bread. I dug in immediately and negan just sat and watched.

He waited til i was done to ask anything else. "Howd you survive all this time?"

I leaned back, having a full stomach and being warm made my eyelids heavy. "I kept low, stole when i absolutely had to and stayed away from walkers."

He laughed, "thats a real fuckin woman there. Well let me be the first to welcome you to the sanctuary. You can stay as long as you like. Come with me cause i know youre in desperate need of a fuckin shower."

"No shit." I chuckle under my breath, he laughs again as he leads me upstairs to a magnificent bedroom.

"Everything youll need is in the bathroom there. Ill have you some clean clothes on the counter before you finish." Why was everyone so scared of negan? He was portrayed as a monster, a blood thirsty psyco who would kill someone if they looked at him the wrong way. This wasnt the negan that was standing before me. I feel like i can trust him. Will it come back to bite me in the ass? Only time will tell.

To be continued.......

@an-unhealthy-obsession @holylulusworld @vicmc624 @jesseswartzwelder @tftumblin @justanotherwinchester