#( don't ever let me read before writing a response sjjkfkjgdnjgn )

[derryleadera]

@korezni​ said : ‘  they write that i’m happy. they know that i’m not. ‘

                                                                1                                            bill denbrough cuts a rug

if bill denbrough were a smarter man   ,   he’d know not to let his emotions run too high   ,   the sleeve of his thick blue sweater pulled up to cover up his immensely huge heart   ,   taking much more precaution when walking around the busy   &   glamorous streets of hollywood he has now come to call his home. a place like this will eat you up billy   ,   came susan’s voice in the back of his head   ,   serving as some strange   ,   mock guardian angel during moments of deep thought   &   contemplation. you gotta keep yourself ready for anything   !   remember to focus on the work   ,   don’t waste it all away for a pretty face   !   there’s a soft laugh that leaves his lips at that   ,   knowing that despite the warning   ,   it was already much too late to avoid that. of course   ,   it wasn’t his pretty face that garnered his attention   ,  although it certainly wasn’t something he could ignore   ------   the royal’s perfectly chiseled features like something out of a storybook illustration   ,   hair that was once cut at a military length when he first met him   ,   now growing out   &   much softer   ,   the look suiting when paired with his gray coat   &   bright   ,   hazel eyes so full of warmth   &   contentment  ,   particularly when the writer was near. wow   ,  he hadn’t meant to fall for him   ,   he wasn’t looking for that at all when they first met   ,   romance the last thing on his mind. nik produced his first movie   ,   so   ,   of course   ,   bill had to get to know him   ,   both curious to find out that not only was his financier a wealthy fan   ,   but royalty from an unknown country   (   or nation   ?   he wasn’t much for maps   ,   that was eddie kaspbrak’s job   ,  the town compass ... who’s eddie kaspbrak   ?   ). working closer with him turned their partnership into a deep   ,   close friendship   ,   one that bill had been more than thankful for since the day he came to los angeles   ,   just as some guy from maine with a typewriter   ,   a suitcase full of musty clothes   &   a dream. one movie became two   ,   &   then another   &   then   ,   it seemed that nik was to be his permanent producer for all of the projects that adapted his stories   ,  ensuring that the film directors   &   actors did their best to capture bill’s words properly for other audiences to see. such devotion   &   kindness from such a man made it easy for the lonely author to fall for him   ,   their first kiss nothing short of romantic   ,   followed by more sweet gestures   ,   their usual hand holding now laced with more meaning between their fingers. their love was something bill had never imagined for himself   ,   but now it was everything he wanted   &   more. unfortunately   ,   there was a catch   ,   of course there was. the greatest love stories always had some sort of conflict tossed in   ,   making the reunion between the two all that much sweeter   ,   uniting them in a bond that would seem unbreakable. as much as the young   ,   would be king wanted to anchor his heart here   ,   here with bill in his home   ,   where they sat eating dinner together   ,   the record player playing a soft   ,   mournful sounding instrumental in the background   ,   he couldn’t. responsibilities back in ravka called him back often   ,   &   it wasn’t as though they were something he could ignore. weeks have turned into months   &   the separation would always take its toll   ,   despite all the phone calls   &   letters they would exchange between one another. now that they knew how deeply they felt about each other   ,   there was no turning back. waiting for him was hard enough   ,   &   bill feared the day nik would leave for ravka   ,   only to never come back. not by choice   ,   but by necessity. christ   ,   he thinks   ,   sipping at his wine that they paired along with their dinner   (   an eggplant parmesan   ------   bill forever thankful by how kind the royal was for finding dishes they could both share   &   enjoy   )   ,   blue eyes cast over to his boyfriend   ,   his melancholy gaze mirroring his own.

they were connected in such a way that sometimes   ,   words were not needed. him   ,   a wordsmith of sorts   ,   never had to speak whenever he was with nikolai.   &   truth be told   ,   there was a comfort in not needing to say or describe everything that was happening   ,   to know that with one look   ,   his lover could figure out exactly what he was thinking   &   feeling. but this time   ,   the royal does speak   ,   &   his words raise such a concern that bill puts his fork down   ,   hand immediately reaching over to gently grab his   ,   the gloves are off   &   always are whenever it was just the two of them. of course the people in ravka would think that he was happy   &   content with how things were going   ,   never once imagining that perhaps the royal didn’t want all this responsibility in the first place   ,   that maybe   ,   just maybe   ,   he wanted to have a normal   ,   mundane life where he could stay here   ,   stay with with him   ,   stay in his little apartment   &   visit him on set or in his own home whenever he pleased. nik had to leave in the morning   ,   &   bill knew that just like him   ,   the trips were wearing on the royal too. not seeing him smile did things to the author’s heart   ,   feeling like a gutted fish to see ruined features so sad   &   almost mournful. to end their night like this when they’d go at least a few weeks without seeing one another again   (   only a few weeks he hopes   )   was something bill couldn’t let stand. so he wouldn’t.

                                                               2

a plan is set in motionas bill release his boyfriend’s hand from his grasp   ,   scooting his chair back with a loud creak against the wooden floor   ,   offering nik his infamous   ,   tired smile   ,   reserved in the evenings when they were alone. there’s an unmistakable twinkle in his eye   ,   one that could only mean he was planning something   ,   a crazy   ,  half - baked idea that   ,  he hopes   ,   would be the medicine the royal needed to be at ease for the evening. heading straight for the record player that sat in bill’s living room   ,   he lifts the needle up to turn off that retched classical piece   (   not that he hated classical   ,   but fur elise did send shivers up his spine for some god awful reason   )   &   switch it for something a little more lively. a smile grows across his cheeks as he spots a familiar record kept in a nearby pile   ------   a frankie valli   &   the four seasons record he got with nik on one of their many trips to the record store. an oldie   ,   but a goodie   !   removing the sleeve off of the old record   ,   bill placed it on   &   returns the needle back in place   ,   the music slowly starting.   you’re just too good to be true   ,   can’t take my eyes off of you   !   you feel like heaven to touch   ,   i wanna hold you so much   !   as the music plays   ,   bill walks over to the royal   &   takes his hand in his own   ,   not waiting for a response before tugging him up onto on his feet   &  leading him across the living room   ,   stopping only when there was enough room for them to move. dancing had become a past time for them   ,   funny enough   ,   as bill had never been much of a dancer his whole life. but with nik   ?   he felt like he could sway with the best of them   ,   confidence in his chest rising as he takes the lead   ,   moving with him as he began to sing along to the words   ,   unafraid if he sounded out of tune or ridiculous   ------   it was only meant for him.   ❝   ... at long last love has arrived   ,   &   i thank saints i’m alive   ,   ❞   he added in that word for him   ,   hoping it would be enough to garner a giggle as his own smile grows more crazy   &   playful   ,   the swaying movements turning more fast paced as he pulls him into a swing like dance   ,   laughing as he sings between bursts of air.   ❝   i love you baby   !   &  if it’s quite alright   ,   i need you baby   !   to warm the lonely nights   ,   i love you baby   !   trust in me when i say   !   ❞

the laughter begins to die down as their bodies collide against one another   ,   blue gaze meeting hazel   &   ,   oh   ------   in the dim lighting of his home   ,   it really made nik look more lovelier than he didn’t think possible. christ   ,   he thinks   ,   his singing subsiding as the record continues   ,   the last few words couldn’t have hit closer to home :  ... now that i've found you stay   &   let me love you   ,   baby   ,   let me love you   ...   ❝   nik   ,   ❞   came the author’s breathless tone��  ,   tip toeing up to capture his lips before waiting to hear him speak   ,   his heart feeling so full   ,   he swears it could almost burst. bill knows nik is struggling with leaving   &   this show of love   &   fun   ,   what he could have every night if he wasn’t of royal blood   ,   only makes the pain of leaving all that more hurtful. bill just didn’t want things to end on a bad note   ,   but it was sort of inevitable when no matter how happy they are   ,   he still had to leave. for ravka   ,   for his nation.   ❝   i love you   ,   “   he whispers against his lips   ,   body still pressed close as they sway together   ,   less to the tune of the record   &   more to a rhythm of their own design.   ❝   i wish you didn’t have to leave ... i want you to stay. i want you to move in with me   ,   i   .... i just want you. no titles   ,   nothing. just ... you.   ❞   don’t waste it all away for a pretty face   !   came susan’s voice again   ,   but he wouldn’t listen. bill denbrough would give up the movie business all together if it meant nik could stay here with him   ------   pretty face or not   ,   he was more than worth it. love made it worth it.

       norman fucking rockwell starters   /   not accepting   !