#( leaving this out of queue to end it quicker heh )

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

Operation: Sansta Claus

Their first Christmas after the barrier was broken, Sans and Papyrus embark on a very important mission.

Let's just say...a certain holly jolly spreader of gifts and good cheer is withholding information.

What could go wrong?

Click here to read on Archive of Our Own, or read more below the cut.

Sans wedged himself further behind the display of large stuffed bears on Aisle 13.  That had been way too close.

He heard a crackle.  “Come in!  Agent Lazybones, come in!”

Sans fumbled with his walkie-talkie.  “Agent Lazybones here.  What’s your status, Agent Spaghetti?”

“Looking good from here.  I thought I saw someone chasing you and was worried.”

“Yeah, someone tried to jump my bones.  I’m okay, though.  The lady who had a bone to pick with me seems to have wandered off.”

He could hear Papyrus’s heavy breathing through the cheap walkie-talkie speaker.  “Agent Lazybones.  If you are not going to take this seriously, I will ask Fr...I mean, Agent Fartmaster, to help me.”

“Nah, I’m done for now, Agent Spaghetti.”

“Good.  Now.  Where are you?”

“Uh...Aisle 13.”

“Which one is that?”

“Huge teddy bears.”

“AHA!  I mean…‘aha.’  I see you.  You aren’t very well-hidden.”

Sans wiggled further behind a bear almost as big as he was.  “That better?”

Before Papyrus could respond, a pair of human boys ran by.  They couldn’t have been older than eight or nine and had the same brown, curly hair.

They stared at him.

“Mommy!  Mommy!  I want the Christmas skeleton!” one shouted, running back down the aisle.  The other just stared at Sans, his face slack and eyes wide.

Sans gave a little wave, and the boy gave a little wave back.  A smile creeped over the boy’s face.  Slowly, Sans brought a finger to his mouth in the universal signal for silence.

The boy nodded, a determined look on his face.  He marched back down the aisle, presumably to head off his brother.

“Agent Spaghetti, my position has been compromised!  Requesting plan of action!”

He heard a shuffle as Papyrus shifted.  “I thought you were going to stay hidden!  Oh, never mind.  There’s a stack of presents over on Aisle 16.  That should be to your...right?  No, other right.  Yes, that’s the right direction...oh!  Hide behind the robot display!  Quick!”

Sans ducked behind the robots, grabbing his Santa hat that threatened to fall off his skull.  “What’s going on?” he whispered into the walkie-talkie.

“The small humans who spotted you are looking for you again.  You need to get farther away!  But...not now.  They’re right next to-”

Sans turned the volume off.  He could hear the boys yelling enthusiastically, and a tired woman’s voice trying to corral their enthusiasm.  The noise slowly faded into the background hum of the department store.

“Agent Lazybones back.  Are they gone?”

“Yes, their mother appears to have captured them and is heading in the direction of the checkout.  You have another small human on your aisle, but she appears to be headed away from you.  Give...it...a...moment...ah!  There we go!  The coast is clear.  Keep heading towards Aisle 16.”

Sans made it to Aisle 16 without too much trouble and ducked behind the pile of - presumably fake - presents.  He tapped his phalanges on one and it sounded hollow.  “Okay, I’m there.  Where’s the target?”

“Ahead of you and to your left.  The Jolly Man is nowhere in sight yet; you should be clear.  Wait, wait; someone’s walking by...yes!  There!  Go for it!”

Sans turned off the walkie-talkie and clipped it to his belt.  With another quick look just in case Papyrus had missed something from his vantage point, Sans dashed across the open floor towards his target.

Near Aisle 16 was an open space that the department store used for seasonal displays and public events.  On this particular day the space had been cordoned off with faux red velvet ropes to form a waiting queue.  At the end of the queue was a chair, draped in red and white and currently empty.  A sign in front read:

        PICTURES WITH SANTA!

That wasn’t Sans’s target.  He was more interested in the large sack of presents behind the chair.  Each present - wrapped in shiny paper and bedecked with bright ribbons and bows - had a tag.  On each tag was a name.

On one of those tags, the name read, “Papyrus.”

That was his target.

Sans made it to the Santa picture area, ducked under the rope in a smooth motion, and skidded to a stop in front of the sack.  It was huge, bigger than Sans himself.  Many of the presents were small - he shuffled those to the side - but there were a few tantalizingly large ones further down that he could feel.  He climbed up on a plastic reindeer nearby for better leverage and cursed his short arms.  He...could...almost...reach…

“Sans?”

“OOMPH!”  Sans lost his balance and fell into the sack.  After a few moments of shuffling, he managed to reorient himself.  “Heya, kid.”  A quick glance over Frisk’s shoulder made his face flush a little.  “Heya, Tori.”

“Sans,” Tori said, looking torn between disapproval and amusement.

“What are you doing?”  Frisk asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Well, y’see…”  He shifted, and one of the presents pressed against the volume knob on the walkie-talkie.

“AGENT LAZYBONES!  ABORT MISSION!  I REPEAT, ABORT MISSION!  YOUR POSITION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED!”

Sans deliberately ignored Tori, who was doubled over and holding a nearby shelf for support.  “Papyrus wanted to know what he was gettin’ for Christmas.”

Frisk narrowed her eyes at him.  “So...you dressed up in a Santa suit and decided to sneak around the store where Dad is going to be playing Santa?”

“Shhhh, kid!”  He checked that his walkie-talkie wasn’t transmitting.  It wasn’t.  He turned the volume back down.  “Paps...doesn’t know about that.”

“Papyrus still believes in Santa?”  Sans narrowed his eyes at the incredulity in the kid’s voice.  She shrugged in response, though, so he didn’t push.  “But...then, who buys his Christmas gifts?  Or Gyftmas gifts, I guess.”

In the background, Tori - who had nearly made is upright - broke into another fit of giggles.

“N-never mind, kid.  Say, wanna give me a hand?”

“Can’t.  There’s a rope in the way.”  Frisk patted the silky rope with both hands.  “There’s even a sign that says “Do not cross.”

“Huh.  Well…”  Sans wiggled and shuffled.  Almost...there...

He fell out of the sack, along with half the presents.  Thankfully, most of them fell on top of him, so the damage to the gifts was...minimal.

Laughing, Frisk helped him collect the errant packages and rearrange them back into the bag.  As he reached for the last one, she pulled it away from him slightly.  She waved wildly at the tag.

To: Papyrus

From: Santa

“Thanks, kid,” Sans said, tossing it lightly on top of the rest of the presents in the sack.  He ducked back under the rope.

“Wait...you’re not going to peek?  You’re not even going to shake it a little?”

“Nah.”  He was blushing again, he knew it.

They made their way over to Tori, who had calmed herself down a little.  “Y-you mean,” she said, still huffing, “Do you mean to tell me that you dressed up, distracted everyone, and staged a massive multi-departmental operation...to look for a present that you bought yourself and asked Asgore to use as a prop for the photo shoot?”

“It was a lot easier Underground,” Sans grumbled.

“And where is your brother?”

He pointed up.  Perched atop one of the department store’s support beams was a tall, lanky skeleton, waving down at them.  His battle body had been replaced with a pair of red and white striped pyjamas and a Santa hat for the occasion.  (Sans hadn’t been able to find or make a Santa suit in Papyrus’s size on such short notice.  They’d be better prepared next year.)

“O-oh dear,” Tori gasped.  “Shouldn’t we...get him down?  That does not look very comfortable.”

Sans turned the walkie-talkie back on.  “Agent Spaghetti, do you want to get down?”

“DO NOT LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE, AGENT LAZYBONES!  DID YOU Fiii...I mean, DID YOU ACCOMPLISH YOUR MISSION?”

“Kinda.  I can give you some hints.  Didn’t get a very good look at it, though.  A Frisk-y kid here interrupted me.”

“AARGH!  And we were so close!  No matter; next year we will have a BETTER PLAN!”

“Sounds good.  Hey, head back to the corner of the store by the tires, ‘kay?  I’ll be right over to lift you down.”

“RIGHT AWAY, BROTHER!”  And he was off, parkouring across the support beams.

Sans turned to Tori, who had finally regained her breath.  “Welp, I’d better go help him down.  Are you two gonna wait here for the big guy?”

Tori smiled.  “I believe so.  Frisk may not believe in Santa Claus, but she wanted to get a picture with her father in-costume.  Will you two join us?”

“Nah, I think we’d better get out of here.  I think a few of the store folks have a bone to pick with me.  We’d better let things cool off around here.”

“Icy your point.”

“Heh, good one!  Well, I’m off.  Have a good time!”

“We shall.  You both will be joining us for hot cocoa this evening, will you not?”

“Sure thing, Tori.  See you then!  See ya, Friskles.”  He ruffled Frisk’s hair, ignoring the kid’s pout that looked more like a smile.

“Good bye...Agent Lazybones.”

Sans pulled his Santa hat further over his face and walked away a little quicker.  He was never going to live this down.

The look on Papyrus’s face when Sans described his gift was completely worth it.