#(n that'll be when i link them in the disco :elmosmile:)

[suretatiana]

i. "ship to wreck" - florence and the machine // ii. russian doll (2018-), dirs. natasha lyonne, leslye headland, amy poehler // iii. "shine on you crazy diamond (I-V)" - pink floyd

(natasha lyonne, cis woman, she/her) have you seen TATIANA KROLL running around palmetto bay? rumor has it they’re from the CLASS OF 1997, making them 45 years old. they were known as the MISCREANT in high school. it seems they’re still CHARISMATIC and FRANK, but can also be DECEITFUL and IMPULSIVE. they can usually be seen working as a TEMP ARCADE ATTENDANT at HIGH SCORE or spending their free time TENDING TO A SMALL… HMM… “GARDEN”. supposedly, they’ve come to palmetto bay as A STOP ALONG THE WAY. on the night of the murder, they were supposedly “BROWSING” IN OUT OF THE ATTIC but who knows if that’s true or not.

QUICK FACTS:

full name: tatiana ava kroll

date of birth: april 1st, 1979

zodiac big three: aries sun, scorpio moon, leo rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual

ethnicity: (white) ashkenazi jewish

nationality: us american

religion: raised orthodox jewish, non-practicing

languages spoken: english (5), yiddish (4)

enneagram: 8w7

mbti: entp

temperament: choleric-sanguine

alignment: chaotic neutral

BACKSTORY:

triggers: final destination 3 -inspired death!, neglect, drug abuse/addiction

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, 1979 -- icarus watched in horror as his wings began to melt, falling slow... then faster... then careening downwards. never to taste the beauty of the sun, always to be just a few feet away from greatness, he dropped into the body of newborn tatiana kroll. in the beginning, there was light. in the beginning, there was love. to her father, she was something sent from above. to her mother... she was little more than a loud -- so loud, so loud -- inconvenience.

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, 1984 -- the doctors said it would be temporary. the doctors said it was common, that many new mothers experienced it. but she was no longer a new mother, and her daughter, now five, was still... little more than a challenge. it was easy to let the father take the wheel -- let him humor tatiana -- and boil in silent rage over... what? but the child was not blind to it. she could tell that something was off with her mother. she didn't act like the moms her friends had, she didn't act like the moms on television... was it her fault? had she, the child, done something deserving of this distance? attempts to appease the mother fell short, after all.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1985 -- they uproot their lives in the name of a job opportunity the father had gotten. the mother must say goodbye to her community and her roots, the daughter must say goodbye to her friends and her school, and the father... well, the father was losing very little.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1988 -- and that was exactly why, tatiana and her mother conceded, fate took him instead. the biggest loss is the loss of life, is it not? and he did not go gentle. a brutal ride malfunction, traveling fair, right on the outskirts of chicago. he would go first, he said, to show tatiana that it was perfectly safe for her to go on with him! but -- fucking hell, it was not! and now there were three residents in the home: the mother, the child, and the grief. the mother still couldn't bear to see the child as more than a pet (at best) -- and, though she rationally knew it wasn't her fault, the reason the father was dead. and the child couldn't bear to see such emptiness, couldn't bear the weight of a death she caused! a death she could've -- should've -- been a part of.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1992 -- interpersonally, nothing has improved between the mother and the child. if anything, things have only grown worse. as the child aged, she began to grow out of the mindset that she was doing something wrong -- no, no, it was her mother. and, as the child aged, she looked for ways to fill the void caused by her mother's negligence... her father's death... the hand she played... the mother, on the other hand, would not indulge. the child was just... someone she was forced to share a house with. every time they spoke, the grudge caused by her very birth grew. every time it did, the mother hated herself a little more. there was no reason for it. the child suffered because she had suffered, the child suffered because she had not experienced the love she was meant to pass down.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1993-1994 -- the child enters the beginning of the end, the mother finds a man who makes her happy. only this man doesn't want children, and the child doesn't want this man in her life. the mother uses newfound drug-fueled benders and petty theft as an excuse for her resentment. the mother uses the transgressions as an excuse for simply pretending the child no longer exists. the child is nothing more than a ghost now, still tied to the house, but known by none. thus, the child begins to rely on outsiders and fellow troublemakers. nathaniel radford -- a young man just a grade above her -- becomes her go-to.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1995-1996 -- it's a laugh, really. chatter in the other room the few times the child is home turns into playful giggling. because the man had changed his mind -- he did want a child. just not her. and the mother saw a second opportunity. she could learn from the mistakes she had made with the first child, she could project love onto this second... or, at the very least, she could fake it until she made it. and that was the last straw. for everyone. the child was not kicked out, but she wasn't bailed out either. the child still had a room, provided she accept sleeping in a closet while the mother and the new man transformed the old room into a nursery.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, 1996-1997 -- the child had hit a wall, and so the child hit the fucking bricks. after a year of hopping around, seldom staying in 'her house,' the child used the money she had gained in very legal manners to purchase an old truck and just... dart. she didn't bother applying to colleges -- who would take her? she didn't bother looking to enter the workforce -- what career was she good for? the best option was simply leaving.

?, 2000-2003 -- but it took her years to get the gall to leave the general chicago area. the past three had seen nathaniel radford bailing her out more often than not. she didn't have many to phone in other states, and she had no plans of living clean. she didn't have easy access to contacts -- in a reflection, she would be leaving her friends and her community behind. but what, besides stability, did she have to gain from staying in the same general vicinity that had proven to be nothing but poison? so she left. over the years, she found plenty of temp work to keep her pockets lined. and, over the years, she found plenty of gas stations to 'rob' and jewelry to swipe for a five-finger discount. her inability to have a stable contact had forced her to enter stealth mode -- had forced her to really think on her feet. all was well.

LEWISBURG, WEST VIRGINIA, 2004-2006 -- a pass through what had once been a fine mining town turned into... eh, a nightmare. she made a friend (not a rare occurrence, she had friends all over the usa!) who was just her type -- a grown woman who'd never grown out of her problematic teen ways. they drank the finest lewisburg had to offer, smoked the finest cigarettes the gas station offered, and ended the night injecting the finest opioids in appalachia. had she been hesitant at first? sure. she'd dabbled in hard drugs and regularly used weed and shrooms, but she'd never escalated so far. but did the other woman saying 'when in lewisburg...!' win her over? obviously! (...she was not a hard sell.) the intended week-at-most turned into a year. and a year turned into two. and she didn't like it -- no, she loved it and she hated it -- but why would she go anywhere else? she had everything she needed. the mattress in the truck, the smack... the mattress in the truck.... the smack... it was only when she no longer had the money to afford it, nor the method to afford it (temp work fell through, store owners knew about her tricks, nathaniel had stopped sending money...), that she finally left. groggy, slow, enough hoarded in the glove compartment to last a week without going through any extreme withdrawal, etc etc.

part two linked anywhere in this sentence because it wouldn't let me keep writing!!

(...will be written more seriously later but damn after that first bullet i lost motivation tumblr beta ur such a bitch)