#0-2 mission failed we'll get em next time

[ghelgheli]

good luck at the fighting game tournament!

thank you! I lost badly 🐐

[mandareeboo]

Total Drama Island Review, “Dodgebrawl”

Last time, on Total Drama Island! The team went head-to-head in The Awakeathon, a challenge to see who could stay up the longest! It was a rough battle, but the Screaming Gophers managed to pull above the rest by the skin of their teeth, leaving the Killer Bass to choose Eva as their disqualified teammate. Heather made an alliance with Beth and Lindsay while Trent and Gwen looked out at the stars.

Like last time, the poll actually went the same as the show! Marking Ezekial and Eva as off both in canon and in this silly little fanon we're making.

This week, we come to "Dodgebrawl!" An episode a lot of people tend to forget about. But not here! Get ready for a lot of dodgeballs and maybe a few sleepy Duncans as we progress through.

SYNOPSIS

(Chris) "Duncan! You look like death, dude."

We open on the mess hall. The Screaming Gophers are chipper and happy as they dine on their mushy breakfast- the Killer Bass, on the other hand, not-so-much. Chris comes over to check in and learns that Harold snored all that night, causing a rough bout of sleep across the board. He laughs at Duncan- currently going on four days of no sleep, for those not keeping track- only to back off when the boy threatens to get tried as an adult for murder.

Someone- probably Duncan- decides to get even, painting a marker mustache on Harold. The boy seems to like it, however. Mission failed we'll get 'em next time.

(Gwen) "I'm so tired... I can't even feel my face."

Chris announces Gwen's arrival. The Gophers cheer for their clearly bedraggled teammate, still high off their win from last week.

Courtney gets on the bathroom cam to complain about kicking Eva off- something she herself had been on board with at the time. I'm picturing Eva on Loser Island pointing at the screen and bellowing HYPOCRITE.

On a more serious note, Heather goes over the refined rules for the alliance. There's three in total. 1.) Heather is top dog, don't fuck with Heather. 2.) Fucking with Heather can get you kicked from the alliance. 3.) Heather has full access to Lindsay and Beth's items, but they cannot touch anything of hers. The girls are less than pleased with this, but arguing means losing a spot in the final three.

Heather goes on to taunt the Killer Bass, leading to a glob of Chef's Delight getting yeeted into Gwen's face via Courtney.

The teams are eventually herded into a mini-gymnasium they've set up on the sand. Duncan threatens to turn this show into a snuff film before knocking out for the day on the bleachers.

Chris announces the challenge for the week: dodgeball. He explains the rules just in case someone has never been in a public school gym class before- hit with a ball you're out, catch a ball the thrower is out and you can call someone in, you can deflect balls with other balls (but if it's knocked out of your hands, it counts as getting hit), you know the drill.

The Gophers have too many players, so two have to sit out every game. Gwen is obviously out due to lack of sleep. Noah gladly volunteers to sit out as well, being not exactly a brawny fella.

This leaves the teams as: DJ, Courtney, Katie, Tyler and Harold VS Heather, Lindsay, Owen, Leshawna and Cody.

The match starts off strong with Owen throwing Tyler into a wall with a dodgeball. Harold tries for some fancy shit and fails despite Leshawna giving him a free shot, getting out immediately. Katie manages to get a likely concussed Lindsay but she's just happy to flirt with Tyler.

Gwen almost gets out onto the field but gets clocked by DJ, who she thanks before wandering off. Cody pulls some ACTUAL fancy shit and the first game goes to the Gophers. 1 to 0.

Second round comes along and Noah refuses to be switched in. Honestly, though I see why this ends up getting him in hot water, I have absolutely no room to talk and would sit out during dodgeball. Such is the life of being a wimp.

Tyler decides he's somehow the most capable player and demands all the balls. He manages to hit Chef, the wall, and- on accident- Lindsay. One for three my man.

Tyler has a moment of heterosexual panic over clocking the girl he likes and helps her up. Then he's too into his feelsies not to notice Trent coming up and gently whacking him with the ball. No one was overly fond of this move.

Owen loses his cool and decides to casually knock out the rest of the Killer Bass in a thrilling display of stanning a bi king. 2 to 0.

(Duncan) "You better have a really good reason for sticking this up my nose."

Desperate to stop sucking, The Killer Bass made a group decision to wake up Duncan. But no one's really interested in being a victim on his rap sheet, so they grab a stick and poke him with it. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Once debriefed and properly blackmailed, Duncan reluctantly agrees to join in on the game. He comes up with a strat from his first juvy visit- grabbing all the balls and yeeting them at one person in particular. It's vindictive, it's rude, it wins them this round. What I can only assume is copyright-free Ava Maria plays over the slaughter. 2 to 1.

Frustrated by their loss, Heather wanders off to find Lindsay, currently flirting with Tyler underneath the docks. Her lesbian rage ignited, she yeets a canoe at him and drags her back to the game. During her absence the Gophers have lost again. 2 to 2.

The final round goes on far longer than the ones before it. Constant switch-outs and saves are in play, making for a rotating roster of players on both sides. Noah tries to make a joke and gets hit for fun. Rip.

Eventually, we come down to Owen and Harold. The Gophers celebrate what they feel is an easy victory. But Harold is a slippery bitch, and soon proves to be impossible to tack down. He explains he did figure skating.

Harold takes a blow to the gut but comes out victorious. Congrats, Killer Bass! Your first win!

VICTORY: KILLER BASS

Campfire time! Chris reiterates the rules, a first-time event for the Gophers: everyone safe gets a marshmallow. The person who does not receive a marshmallow must walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and leave. And they cannot come back. EVER.

We all know how this goes, folks. Noah is kicked off for his lack of teamwork and respect. Chris laments that, yeah, it wasn't the most outrageous campfire ever. But he still gets paid! Fade to black.

FINAL REVIEW

Ladies, gents, and those who snuck pas the guards. It's time to find out the truth. Did "Dodgebrawl" win a marshmallow and bean its opponents in the face? Or did it get a blow to the balls, get voted off, and be forced to walk the dock of shame to the boat of losers, never to return?

"Dodgebrawl" is. An enigma. It's not the worst episode, but it's not memorable either. I daresay it's in the middle. Even as a kid, I remember being pretty bored during this one- and I didn't really see the point of voting Noah off. He was an easy target, yeah, but it wasn't like having him fighting for victory today would've done anything. Boy was a stringbean. That said, I fully expect the poll to say the same as the show this time, simply because Noah DIDN'T participate.

Verdict: 6 out of 10 marshmallows. Got a dodgeball right to the chest.

Character Mistakes:

Gwen hardly participated at all

Heather spent most of her time yelling instead of throwing balls

Lindsay never got with the program

Noah refused to play

Trent, Cody, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna and Justin all appeared to do their best

Character Remaining:

Screaming Gophers: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, and Justin.

Killer Bass: Goeff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Duncan, and Harold.