#AND SIIRI COMING IN WITH THE 'SAFE' TRANSLATION IN HER SUBS??? HELLO???????????

[wen-kexing-apologist]

I'm so deep in my Our Dining Table Bullshit that I'm not sure I'll ever come out of it.

There was

So

Much

SILENCE

Seriously, the pauses in this episode were pregnant with twins.

There was always just enough silence for Yutaka to think but not speak and just enough silence for Minoru to spiral deeper in his fears about making Yutaka uncomfortable and interrupting whatever words Yutaka would ever possibly try to say. For those who have read the manga, the way that Minoru is so scared about making Yutaka uncomfortable, so scared about ruining this safety that he has built with Yutaka (thanks to @isaksbestpillow for ruining me with that translation in her subs), so scared about losing all this warmth and fullness that Minoru has finally been able to feel after losing his mother that he tries to break his own heart is such a phenomenal set up to the parallel we will have with Yutaka's fears later on. Minoru tries to distance himself from the potential heartbreak that comes with Yutaka's silence. He tries to break his own heart while the wound would not be too deep, where the relationship they had in maybe salvageable.

And the only thing Yutaka ever says to Minoru this entire episode is "Minoru?" and "No, I'm fine," And he is fine, he is completely fine, but even though Minoru is looking at Yutaka, he is so caught up in his fears about everything he has possibly just lost because he couldn't contain himself. Because he altered their relationship by kissing Yutaka that MINORU. CAN'T. SEE. IT.

When Minoru says "I wasn't going to tell you any of this. I knew you would be uncomfortable" he can't see all the words that are spinning around Yutaka's head when Yutaka inhales. He can't see Yutaka fail to find the words he needs to say, fail to figure out where he needs to start in all of this, and he fails to see that with Yutaka's exhale, Yutaka is giving up everything he wants to say.

gif by @laowen

Minoru is so focused on getting that last touch of their hands, so busy promising Yutaka this is the last time they will ever touch, so then they can be friends, and they can go back to how it was, and Yutaka won't have to feel uncomfortable knowing that Minoru likes him, THAT HE FAILS TO SEE HOW MUCH YUTAKA'S THUMB IS TWITCHING.

gif also by @laowen

Yutaka wants to reciprocate physical touch, physical intimacy with Minoru so badly. But Yutaka has to process everything. Yutaka is a) in shock and b) having so much trouble figuring out what he wants to say, what he needs to say, that he can say nothing. Minoru says he wants to go back to the way they were before, and so Yutaka's thumb will twitch with the impulse to stroke Minoru's hand but it will not make contact with Minoru's flesh.

And god

God

GODDDDDDD

I need someone to gif the moment that Minoru pulls his hand away because there was a millisecond of time where Yutaka reaches back out like he's going to try to take back Minoru's hand and he STOPS HIMSELF. And I have not stopped thinking about it. I have not stopped thinking about it.

FOLKS, I HAVE NOT STOPPED TALKING ABOUT IT. LIKE LITERALLY @waitmyturtles AND @lurkingshan AND THE REST OF THE ENTIRE CLOWN SERVER HAVE HAD TO HEAR WAYYYYY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS STUPID FUCKING SHOW, AND YUTAKA'S STUPID FUCKING HANDS, AND EPISODE 8'S STUPID FUCKING GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT PREGNANT FUCKING PAUSES.