#AND THINKS Z.ELOS NEEDS TO FORGIVE HIMSELF AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THE WAY HE IS
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COLETTE HURTS MEEEEEE
#SHE LOVES EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING SO MUCH#AND THINKS Z.ELOS NEEDS TO FORGIVE HIMSELF AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THE WAY HE IS#BUT SHE ABSOLUTELY DOESN'T BELIEVE THE SAME FOR HERSELF AND IT MAKES ME FERAL#(because im. SO guilty of being the EXACT SAME)#i didn't put it in the tags on the post bc i HOPED it went w/o saying#but like. c.olette doesn't necessarily romantically love z.elos#frankly she doesn't know! she just knows Love and the differences are. kind of lost on her at her age#growing up is so hard and learning what your emotions mean is so difficult on a good day#she knows she loves l.loyd and she loves z.elos and g.enis and everyone but not in the same shades#her love for z.elos IS selfish and that is NOT a bad thing imo. she sees herself in him (obviously) and wants to love him the way she wants#to love herself. the way she wants to be treated. to simply be able to exist without the burdens of the world#but to treat herself that way invokes a guilt in her that is difficult for her to navigate and it's easier to project that love on someone#else* bc the guilt isn't there. you can pretend it's for THEM and not for you#(loving is wholly and completely selfish and selfless. people need to accept that. she needs to accept that.)#💡 colette ; hcs.
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