#Also if you do choose to respond please don't refer to my status as Jesus as kinning it's just who I am

[everhoods]

ah.... Long pilisophical post deleted..... I was getting somewhere and having a productive thought train.... Ahhh..... Maybe this is a message from god that I should sleep? Ah.... I think I had some good thoughts* tho so I'll bullet point them

*if anyone starts to study kinning/therapist/otherkin as linked SOLELY to mental illness and therefore making it "invalid" or "crazy" we need to arm ourselves. People need to be weird on the Internet ok

*I don't relate to the two psychotic friends I have... one of them uses the Internet a lot and has some unnoticed biases so that's a given. But the other one doesnt and has gone through a lot of trauma but still looks at me weird when I mention being Jesus IN PRIVACY WHEN WE R HASHING THINGS OUT mind you. He just kind of treats me like an anomaly?? :-( I'm actually very fucking tame$ and polite when it comes to talking about who I am so this upsets me. He might just be shitty but I'm nervous about joining a psychosis support group when I've been treated this way by close friends... Even in the fucking psych ward I was "weird" but those are notoriously cliquey and everyone there was from some form of negative twt

*new bullet point but idk if my friends r just ass but I worry I'm too delusional to fit in in psychosis circles... I miss max a lot... She has schizophrenia and was someone I actually felt comfortable bitching with. I hope she's okay :-(

*right but does anybody who is specifically psychotic (having other disorders as well is fine I don't think I know of anybody with only psychosis) feel this way or have their own takes??? Are psychosis and schizophrenia the same spectrum have I just been wrong this whole time??? I know they're close but what I read online tends to kind of just.... Not acknowledge schizophrenia? Like you will see ppl say it's valid hundreds of times but not actually group it with psychosis.... Am I not looking hard enough???? Where do I go for this-- reddit???

*I like to document my feelings and emotions on Tumblr especially since my memory issues get rid of anything that upsets me

$tame as in model student. Tamed animal. No matter how well composed I am or how much double bookkeeping I experience I am isolated and it sucks :-( I don't view myself as better for doing this, neurotypical people supposedly should but it doesn't fuckimg matter lol. I know this already of course, I just do it so I don't get my autonomy stripped from me

[jmlongworth78]

Stand and Be Counted

It was my honor to stand alongside these Gospel co-workers, Lenny Duncan (our organizer), Kwame Pitts, Emily Scott, Clint Schnekloth, Amanda Gerken-Nelson, Aubrey Thonvold and Eric Worringer (not pictured because his daughter Addie needed a nap). With the help of friends, family, and chosen family, we had all made our way to the Churchwide offices of the ELCA to ensure that the written testimony of over 150 colleagues, and our own witness to the impact of Visions & Expectations and its proposed replacement Trustworthy Servants of the People of God.

Our team represented a variety of theological, ecclesial, and spiritual viewpoints, but we agreed that the church we love shouldn’t be in the business of prayerful discernment in secret, especially when it comes to the emotional, physical, financial, and relational well being of its rostered ministers and the people they serve. Secrets can promote unhealthy decisions when it comes to the most sensitive and personal parts of our lives. Printed below is the statement that was delivered as written testimony from our whole group, a message that mirrored concerns submitted by the ELCA ethnic associations. In addition, we offered individual testimony to help the council members understand our concerns.

I am deeply grateful that a direct action which could have been a fool’s errand was actually representative of the kind of prayerful discernment I long for in the church I serve. Council members (big thanks to Emma Wagner & Peder Johansen) using their voice to give us voice, both as witnesses and offering guidance for the eventual motion.

It does not escape me that this coming weekend, we will be reading one of the foundational texts of public witness and prophetic sign-action in the Gospels, Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Let us cry out once more “Hosanna” that is, “please save us!”

With much gratitude to The Rev. Emily Scott of Dreams and Visions in Baltimore, MD for drafting this statement and incorporating the feedback of the team:

Statement Regarding “Trustworthy Servants” for the Church Council of the ELCA April 5, 2019

Good morning members of the Church Council.

This is the day that God has made. We rejoice and are glad to be here with you, the leaders who provide prayerful guidance and leadership of our beloved ELCA.

We are here today because we love this church. As ELCA rostered leaders, we care deeply about the health of this body. We know that the leadership of a denomination is no easy task, and we are grateful for each council member, each bishop, each staff person who moves our church toward the waiting future.

Sometimes, there are bumpy moments along the way. That is part of being a church together. We are present at this meeting today to share our perspectives and concerns, so that we can move forward together.

It’s impossible to do this without acknowledging that for us and a large number of our colleagues, the process around Trustworthy Servants has significantly eroded our trust. If you are not familiar with the history of the document, “Vision and Expectations,” you may not know that it was originally written to exclude LGBTQ folks from serving as rostered leaders in this church. Even after the document was revised to include gay couples, the document and its expectations around sexuality and marriage has been used to press candidates for ministry into marriage earlier than they would choose, creating situations that are ultimately not life-giving. This has created a painful landscape of secrecy and distrust around issues of sexuality in our Church. While our cohort is represents a variety of perspectives and opinions regarding this document, all of us agree that secrecy, fear, and worry are an unhealthy pairing with human sexuality.

In addition, we know that life is more complicated than this document, or its recent revision represents. Our church is made up of single folks, divorced folks, people who are widowed, people who have endured abusive marriages and are therefore hesitant to enter marriage again. “Vision and Expectations” and it’s revision, “Trustworthy Servants,” casts anyone who does not fit the assumed “norm” of marriage, an aberration. And being an aberration creates feelings of shame.

In addition to concerns about sexuality, Trustworthy Servants falls short in other areas. Most notably, it is not a document that communicates grace. It sets expectations for people in recovery

that do not reflect the reality of a recovery process. The expectations around financial debt do not reflect the realities of the student debt leaders are asked to take on, the current economic conditions younger leaders face, or the constrictions created by living in poverty. The difficult and common realites of abuse within marital relationships are not addressed at all.

Many in our church deeply desire to have a rich and nuanced conversation about what it means to be a trustworthy leader. We want to write ethics that include those from a wide range of life experiences. We desire to live trustworthy lives. We simply ask that the Church work with us in creating the guidelines that will govern our common life.

We also ask that those with power in the church - bishops, staff, and candidacy committees - commit to trustworthy expectations as well, and that their conduct be included in these guidelines.

In short, we are asking that the process to replace “Vision and Expectations” be as trustworthy as we are called to be as rostered leaders.

As it turns out, this is a perfect moment to respond to the urging of the spirit, and sing a new song. You, the Church Council, are in a position to take positive action to rebuild trust, to facilitate a productive conversation, and to build an inclusive process around the replacement of this document.

We suggest the following process:

● First, if you have not done so already, read the comments that were submitted by rostered leaders on “Trustworthy Servants.” Our leaders took time and energy to write them, and they deserve to be reviewed carefully. Reconciling Works has also collected anonymous comments that Pastor Lenny will present.

● Second, decline to adopt Trustworthy Servants today, and set the path for a drafting process that is wide and inclusive.

● We suggest calling for the creation of a task force to carry out the work of revision. This task force should be composed of half women, at least 25% LGBTQIA people, 20% people of color, people with disabilities, deacons, pastors, and lay people, and include a wide range of age (including team members under 40) and marital status. We also would also suggest the inclusion of theologians and scholars who specialize in human sexuality, and experts on abuse and sexual abuse, to inform our work.

● Third, invite this task force to lead a Church-wide listening campaign, holding sessions with a variety of rostered leaders and lay people, open to the entire Church. These

sessions must be designed to promote honest feedback. The data drawn from these sessions should be anonymized, and the leaders of the sessions must not hold a position of power over those participating in these sessions.

● Fourth, be transparent about the process surrounding this document, by posting the process and progress on our ELCA website. A feeling of secrecy about the documents the govern our common lives does not contribute to a culture of trust.

At this point, you might be thinking, “that sounds like a lot of work.” And yes, it is a lot of work. We believe that it is worth it. You don't have to look far to see Christian denominations struggling with issues of sexuality. From fights around LGBTQ inclusion to rampant sex abuse in some denominations, it’s clear that this is hard and difficult work. The Church too often falls short in this area, out of fear and unhealthy power dynamics. The results are devastating.

We have the opportunity today to tell a different story. To become the denomination that’s getting it right — having open and honest conversations about sexuality, as well as what it means to live ethical lives of integrity as justice seekers in our world, discerning God’s call to live in life-giving, life-affirming ways that honor ourselves, our families, our congregants, and all those around us.

Signed,

“Trustworthy Servants” Public Witness Team

You can read the official motions adopted by the council below the break.

To thank the Domestic Mission unit, the Conference of Bishops and all the people who have shared their perspectives regarding the document “Trustworthy Servants of the People of God;”

To decline to consider the document "Trustworthy Servants of the People of God;”

To refer the document “Trustworthy Servants of the People of God” back to the Domestic Mission unit for further review and redrafting that is governed by this church's social teaching documents (i.e., Freed in Christ, Care for Creation, Sexuality, etc.). Such further consideration shall include a roadmap that consists of a process that intentionally includes diverse voices especially of those who have been most harmed by the misuse of Vision and Expectations;

To address, within the review, the current process of development and the faithful and just use of a policy document as a guide for this church;

To affirm the pastoral message regarding Vision and Expectations from the Conference of Bishops and support the conference in living into their commitment to apply the church’s standards for ministry with equity and compassion, to listen and take seriously the concerns of all our leaders—particularly those who historically have been marginalized—and to treat with dignity all those seeking to lead in our church; and

To request the Domestic Mission unit provide quarterly reports on the process to the Church Council and a draft for consideration by fall 2020 meeting.

[firstumcschenectady]

"Mutuality" based on James 2:1-10, 14-17

People often think I am a “bleeding heart liberal,” a “tree-hugging hippie,” or – to get to the point – an “everything goes progressive.” I do not deny the bleeding heart nor the tree-hugging, but actually I don't think “everything goes.” James speaks the language of my faith, and in doing so makes clear why I find it so challenging to live out my faith the way I want to.

Both in Biblical times, and today, the culture is permeated with the premise that deference should be given to wealthy and powerful people. The work of Christians to treat everyone as beloveds of God is profoundly countercultural. James even suggests preferential treatment for the poor, although I can't tell if this is because it is necessary to counteract the brokenness of the world, because most of the early Christians were poor, or because people living in poverty really do have a better grasp on faith. Maybe all of them.

To make his point, James sets up a believable story about two people gathering with the community of believers. One is a rich man, a senator or nobleman based on his ring, likely running for office. This rich man has some powerful quid pro quos to offer the fragile and vulnerable faith community. He could be a useful protector for them.

At the same time, another man enters the community of believers. He is poor, his clothes are old, ratty, and dirty.

The faith community responds with the world's standards, James says. They give the rich and powerful man the best seat in the house while telling the poor man that he can either sit in a place of dishonor or stand out of the way.

James is a wisdom teacher. He speaks clearly through the ages. I can easily believe this was an actual experience in plenty of early Christian gatherings, and I know for certain it still is today. The world's standards infiltrate the church. While Galatians 3:28 says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." That is a RADICAL claim of equity within the Church. All of the distinctions of humanity are erased by being followers of Christ. All are one. All are equal. All are equally important.

But that is easier said that done. The unconscious bias

gets carried into the church, even when people don't want it to. And they do great damage. James says, “Siblings, do you with your acts of favoritism really believe in our Lord Jesus Christ?” I always worry that when we say or hear “Lord Jesus Christ” we hear it with the hierarchy of the English Nobility, a system rife with patriarchy, sexism, and economic exploitation. Which, pretty clearly, isn't what James is saying here. For the early Christians, calling Jesus “Lord” was the utmost subversion, because it claimed that if Jesus was Lord, Caesar was not.1

By ALL of the worldly standards, Caesar WAS Lord. He was Emperor of the largest empire known to that part of the world, he was wealthy beyond imagination, he had the power of the best armies behind him, he had systems of nobility and administration under him, he could execute as he pleased, change laws when he wished, and of course his FACE was on all the money. He had titles galore, including “Lord and God,” and those were the OFFICIAL declarations of the empire, to claim otherwise was to risk death.

In the face of that reality, the early Jesus followers chose another way. A “narrower” way, a more dangerous way, a way that subverted the understanding of power, and choose nonviolence over the power of violence. They claimed Jesus, a peasant from the backwater Galilee, a rabble rouser of the small but ancient Jewish faith, a man executed by the violent power of the Empire as a the leader of a violent rebellion (even when it wasn't true)... they claimed JESUS as Lord.

And when JESUS is Lord like THAT, to favoritism to those who hold power and sway in the Roman Empire could reasonably make James question if they actually believe in Jesus or not. Are they following the narrow way, or are they slowing just making the way wider? Are they about the radical equality of all people in the eyes of God, or about making it easier to be a follower of Jesus? Are they overturning assumptions about who matters, or are they just replicating the ways of the world.

And, of course, the crux of this series of questions: are we?

I can see some evidence that we are committed to inverting the world's values:

Our Community Breakfast is an abundance of good food, offered with grace and respect, that anyone would be pleased to eat. We are not only interested in feeding God's beloveds, we are interested in feeding people AS God's beloveds.

Both the long-running Sustain Ministry Program and Community Breakfast have welcomed and kept volunteers who are also recipients of the ministry's gifts. This suggest to me that we have been interested in re-distributing God's gifts of abundance RATHER THAN just in giving gifts to ease guilt or unconsciously hold power over others.

Our stewardship pledge sheets ask about all of the membership vows: prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness in order to remind us all that no one way of giving is more important than another, and that all of us are stronger in the ability to give in one way than another.

The church has long advocated for living wages, and puts its money where its mouth is, paying its own employees as it believes the world should.

Before the pandemic, some church groups offered luncheons with (nonobligatory) free will offerings, making genuine space for everyone to be fed and together regardless of income.

Many of the trips we take as a church – hiking, baseball games, canoeing and kayaking trips – are free or affordable to people across a wide income spectrum.

Our community is profoundly diverse, especially in socioeconomic status and income. Beloved members are rich, beloved members are poor, beloved members are in between.

And yet truth be told, I see evidence of the values of the world creeping in too though:

Before the pandemic, often parts of the church celebrated or connected by going out to lunch or dinner, or offering support by sending a communal gift, which assumes that everyone has the discretionary money to participate.

I sometimes hear people living in poverty referred to as “them,” such as in the context, “how can we help them?” which forgets that people living in poverty are part of us. The questions might be, “How can we ease the pain of poverty?” and “How can we transform society to end poverty?”

There is a great value on education in this community, one that isn't always held in enough tension with the reality that in the US access to education has more to do with pre-existant privilege than intelligence.

Our primary worship style speaks to people's heads at least as much as their hearts or souls, which historically fits the values of the upper class.

Among some of our members, there is still a sense of discomfort with the struggles of people in poverty. While discomfort is itself neutral, lack of facing it has resulted in people who live in poverty perceiving that they're welcome to eat at our Breakfast, but not join us for Worship. The perception of a two tiered system, I fear, is not entirely incorrect.

Given these two lists, I think James still has plenty to teach us, even if we've been trying to learn along the way.

In order to build God's Kindom at FUMC, it may mean we have to look deeply at our discomfort. Although discomfort is natural, a willingness to change it is sometimes harder.

To live into the values of Jesus and James requires soaking up God's grace, and a constant awareness of the ways that the world tries to separate people into worthy and unworthy categories. To be a church that lives out the “Lordship of Jesus Christ” requires us to notice class, notice classism, and actively work to change it – in ourselves and in our community. It means that those of us who do not live in poverty need to listen to people who do live in poverty, and learn from them. Our actions to disrupt the status quo and move the world toward the kindom must be based in mutuality. We can't serve in the name of Christ if we see those we serve as “others” rather than as a part of “us.” And we can't claim anyone as part of “us” unless they claim “us” too.

I hope and pray that God will help us take the lessons James offers to heart. Amen

1 Marcus Borg, Jesus: The Life, Teachings, and Relevance of a Religious Revolutionary, (HarperCollins) 2015, p. 279.

September 12, 2021

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady