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#And I love that Bailu isn't scared or repulsed or prejudiced against them
fragmentedblade · 7 months
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Dan Heng, Blade and Jingliu the three went to see Bailu, and it kinda makes me want to jump off a cliff
#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Even beyond fragmented memories and a state of forgetfulness they remember enough to want to see her!!!#idk I love them haha#I don't think Dan Feng was in love with Baiheng for what I've read even though it seems to be also an extended opinion at times#I think he loved of her the same thing he loved of Yingxing‚ that he was treated as a normal person by her and not as high elder#(Jingliu wonders how someone so proud and someone so arrogant could get along and beyond how hot arrogance is at times#and how invigorating to have two prides opposed and crash‚ I think that's why! Dan Feng appreciated that Yingxing just treated him#as a person with all his defiance‚ beyond roles and statuses and even being a short life species)#He also just loved her of course. And he felt indebted to her. And guilty I imagine#And honestly I think he used this as a means to create a new high elder and break free of that cycle he so resented as well as new life#Which makes his actions several layers of selfish and selfless and selfish and selfless and I love the complexity and the grey hues#But yeah in any case I love this. I love that they remember beyond memory and death enough to want to see her again#(romantic or platonic love aside‚ I don't care‚ that's one of my favourite things of Orpheus and Eurydice in Ovid's telling)#And I love that Bailu isn't scared or repulsed or prejudiced against them#Like the ghost of the past fondness still clinging to her‚ like how she tells Dan Heng that maybe they were friends once in another life#They were. There was so much love they defied the laws of humans and aeons and the rules of existence only for you#There was so much love they unmade themselves for you. There was so much love the history of the Xianzhou Luofu changed forever#There was so much love you can see stains of that love everywhere still‚ seven hundred years later#There was so much love their love still lingers‚ making them dead and immortal at once#There was so much love even a bit of her love still lingers in Bailu‚ even if she is someone else#I don't know... I just love this kind of love and grief story. This becoming monstrous for the beloved and yet not being able to regret it#Not entirely. But how to regret it?#All the pain and even the mistakes would be worth it for you‚ or would have been; I just wish you didn't have to suffer#I only regret having caused you suffering#I'd risk and curse it all again‚ given the chance‚ if I could do it right. But only if it wouldn't cause you suffering#How do you define a love like this? And how could it matter?
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