#And I think it reminds me of 'To Kill a Mockingbird' but also 'October Sky' and also 'Signs' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brainfoodgp · 7 years

Text

Seeds For Wellness Journal May/2017

“We all end up on bad roads, those blind alleys I’m always talking about. Remember the moments in the sun, the sky full of words.” -Tennessee Williams-

May this year has been an exciting Mental Health Awareness Month. The month kicked off with my being recognized as the NY1 Queens Person of the Week for my work and journey with Brain Food Garden Project. I also had two follow up partnership meetings and some exciting projects are taking shape that I hope to be able to share with everyone in the coming months. I published our second special edition Mental Health Awareness Month blog if you missed it Click Here

One of the subjects I discussed in that edition was the need to start publishing the Seeds for Wellness Journal only 6 times a year. This will be my last regular monthly blog post. Starting in July with our first Summer issue we will be posting seasonally with two “special edition” blogs each year in May with our Mental Health Awareness edition and in October with a special Food Justice edition in honor of World Food Day.

This last issue before starting our new seasonal rotation is a special one indeed. I am so happy to publish our first guest writer actress and jazz vocalist Daralyn Jay’s article, 4 Tips for Coping with a Loved One Suffering from Mental Illness in the BFGP Feature. Daralyn and I have been friends for more than 20 years and she was one of the original 5 members of the think tank I lovingly refer to as my, “Big Green Machine,” these wonderful people were the first to offer support, advice and a clearing house for all my thoughts and ideas as I started to form my vision for Brain Food Garden Project. Daralyn was also the friend that called 911 and finally got me the help I needed and has supported me every step of the way on my road to recovery.

Also this month we ran a Facebook series on different communities dealing with mental health concerns. Don’t worry if you missed any of them all 5 are revisited in this month’s Notes From the Resistance. As always I let you all in on what I’ve been reading this month and offer up several of my new favorite summer dessert recipes. One simple recipe that is, but with many mouthwatering ingredients to mix it up all summer long!

As everyone celebrates Memorial Day this weekend and enjoys the first of what I hope will be many fun summer BBQ’s for you, your friends and family. Please take some time to remember those that fought and died to keep our country free. I know I’ll be thinking of my grandfather who fought in WWII and lived so many wonderful years after to share with me the history.

The BFGP Feature:

Daralyn Jay is an actress, singer and writer that resides in New York City. She costarred with Matthew Modine in the critically praised revival of Horton Foote’s To Kill A Mockingbird at Hartford Stage and most recently starred in the film festival award winning short film Tobacco Burn. Daralyn’s dynamic jazz vocals have been heard by audiences from Paris to the coastal resorts of Turkey to Harlem, New York’s hottest nightclubs. To learn more about our featured writer Click Here

4 Tips for Coping with a Loved One Suffering from Mental Illness by Daralyn Jay

When Sean first asked me to write a post about my experiences having someone with mental health issues in my life for his blog, I was immediately confronted with a feeling of overwhelm at the enormity of the task. Where to begin? And how to begin? Sean and I have known one another for more than 20 years now, and I have borne witness to his struggles with bipolar depression for much of that time. Does he really want me to tell the story of that long night’s journey into day? I’d always said that it was Sean’s story to tell, and I was hesitant to reveal many details of that journey.

It was a phone call with another friend that prompted me to finally pick up the phone and tell Sean, “OK, I’ll do it.” My other friend had reached out to me to check on the whereabouts of our mutual friend. For the sake of clarity, we’ll call these friends Frank and Sammy (and yes, that makes me Dean). Sammy had been having disturbing discussions and text message exchanges with Frank, the last of which made him worry about Frank’s safety. As Sammy detailed their conversations, I heard him express the same feelings that I’d experienced many times during Sean’s episodes: fear and frustration were the two that were most apparent. I shared some techniques that I’ve tried over the years that helped me cope with Sean’s mental health issues. He thanked me and said that our conversation was very helpful. And he seems to be handling the unpredictable waves of having a friend struggling with mental illness in his life better. So, I thought: if my insights could help Sammy, maybe they can help someone else in a similar situation.

#1 – Know what you can do and do it.

The first thing we all have the ability to do is to listen. There are many ways to listen, and in the quest to help a loved one, I think they all come into play. Firstly, listen without judgment. Try to process what is being said to you, even if you don’t understand it from your personal experience. It has taken a great act of courage for this person to come to you, so do your best to honor what is being said. Also, listen to more than the words being said. A person won’t necessarily tell you, “I want to kill myself,” but may say things like “I don’t care what happens to me,” or “People would be better off without me.” Lastly, offer some advice. You’re not there to solve anyone’s problems, and (spoiler alert for #4!) you probably can’t, but offer what you can say that is supportive and empowering. If your loved one is feeling isolated, let her know that she can reach out to you at any time. Encourage her to seek professional help. Share experiences from your life that might help her see this is not a unique problem. I downplayed a lot of my own feelings and emotions at this stage, which I think is important in listening without judgment. But I still had them, and something needed to be done with them. Which leads me to…

#2 – Educate yourself.

The more you know about what your loved one is facing, the more empowered you will feel to help them. If he or she is dealing with alcohol and/or substance abuse, find out about what friends and family can do. I called the suicide prevention hotlines in the states of Georgia and New York on several occasions to ask them for advice. Their answer was the same: If your friend has said that he is thinking about killing himself, this is a cry for help and should be taken seriously. Call 911 if he is in imminent danger.

That’s a hard call to make. Especially when you’re in two different states, and he said that he was thinking about taking his cat’s cyanide pills but he hadn’t taken them yet. Thankfully, Sean didn’t take the cat’s cyanide pills. In retrospect, I should have called 911 then anyway.

#3 – Take care of yourself.

So how do you take care of yourself when it seems as though someone else’s life depends on you? Think of the instructions we are given on an airplane: In the event of an emergency, place the air mask on yourself before helping others. If you’re gasping for air yourself, there’s very little you can do for anyone else.

Maintain time for yourself. You can still be available for others but take time for self-care. Do something for you, and only you, that makes you feel relaxed and re-energized. Turn off your phone and go the gym, take a long walk, get your nails done or put on your favorite music and take an hour to listen (or dance) to it undisturbed. You want to find short, healthy activities that release tension and add balance to your life.

Set boundaries and don’t accept treatment that makes you feel disrespected or taken advantage of. One boundary-setting technique that I eventually set that I shared with Sammy was to arrange a communication plan. A disturbing phone call followed by hours or days of silence is disconcerting, frightening and simply unfair. All of us need time and space to process what is happening in our lives at times. Asking your loved one to send a simple text or call to say, “I’m fine—just don’t feel like talking right now,” goes a long way to eliminate stress and anxiety. Your feelings and well-being matter as well. Don’t forget that.

#4 – Know what you can’t do and accept it.

If you’re familiar with the Buddhist principle of detachment, then you already understand the idea of practicing compassion but distancing yourself from the outcome. All the reasoning, pleading, guilting or any other tactic you can think of cannot convince someone to take the steps they need to help themselves. But, by all means, do so. Do everything within your abilities, reminding yourself along the way that whatever happens is out of your control and is not your responsibility. Because the only person’s actions you can control are your own. You want to be able to say that you did everything in your power you could think of to do. And that is the most any of us can ever do in any situation, really.

What I’m Reading:

I am a huge fan of rereading books. And this month as I picked up several new books to start reading for the first time. I also chose to reread a favorite and one of the first books I read that truly helped me understand the depression aspect of my manic depressive self. It was written by one of my all-time favorite writers William Styron most notably remembered for being the author of Sophie’s Choice. However, if you’ve never read his beautifully written The Confessions of Nat Turner please add it to your list. And while you are online ordering add to your cart this month’s title Darkness Visible: a Memoir of Madness. Styron himself diagnosed with clinical depression captures every moment of what it feels like with a crystal clarity that will make you feel like you are in his head. To read his description of hospitalization could only be made more poetic, if like me, you were actually hospitalized in a psych ward the first time you read it. The New York Times said about this remarkable read: “Compelling…harrowing…a vivid portrait of a debilitating disorder…it offers a solace of shared experience.”

Notes from the Resistance:

This month we spent a week on Facebook bringing different stories of individual communities that are dealing with mental health concerns. From the Indigenous people of North America to LGBTQ youth. We discussed mental health in our senior citizens to the African American community. All of these communities living with mental health concerns go unheard by the current Christo fascist authoritarian regime. Let us count some of the many ways… Ending protections for LGBTQ youth in our schools, Drastic cuts in SSI and Medicare as well as huge cuts to SNAP which many of our senior’s rely on to survive. Forcing oil pipelines on Indigenous lands breaking generations of treaties. Continued police brutality and murders in the African American Community. Making it easier for those with severe mental health concerns to have easy access to purchasing guns and appointing a Mental Health Czar that will help to feed our prison system with those most severely affected by mental health and drug dependence concerns . These are some of the faces of those being pushed aside by the current regime these are this month’s notes from the resistance.

1. Prisons…Click Here

2. Youth…Click Here

3. Seniors…Click Here

4. Indigenous Americans…Click Here

5. African Americans…Click Here

Healthy & Delicious Recipes:

OMG my new favorite summer dessert and I can’t get enough of it is Chia seed pudding. Below is my favorite of the four variations you will find in the video Click Here

Almond Chocolate Chia Seed Pudding

INGREDIENTS

1 cup Greek yogurt

1 cup almond milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons honey

¼ cup chia seeds

2 tablespoons dark cocoa powder

Slivered almonds, for topping

Chocolate shavings, for topping

PREPARATION

1. In a medium bowl, mix the yogurt, almond milk, vanilla, honey, chia seeds, and cocoa powder together until well combined.

2. Pour the mixture into an airtight container and refrigerate, covered for 30 minutes.

3. Spoon the pudding into desired serving dish and top with slivered almonds and chocolate shavings.

0 notes