#And so 'Fucking Dave' is naturally adopted by the party and ends up with them for another eight hours

[missingexaltation]

Fic idea:

Former 90's rock star legend, Eddie Harrington, starts a podcast in the late 2010's with a weird choice of people (normal, not famous people, yikes!), but who apparently are close friends.

This podcast evolves quickly into a sprawling D&D campaign that gathers a cult-like following for a few years until one day it just explodes in popularity and becomes more mainstream. Eventually they move to streaming the campaigns live from their own homes/offices (simultaneously recording them for the podcast), and most people in the party have their own little fan clubs based on their characters and individual lore, compete with merch.

Eddie's always the DM, he enjoys it, and thrives on the chaos his team seems to try and generate to annoy him. The Party themselves (Dustin, Will, Lucas, Erica, Gareth, Mike and Jeff) have relatively normal jobs, so go absolutely feral during the podcasts, like they're reclaiming the insanity of their teen years.

It's just great fun, hardly anything like the dark, brutal campaigns Eddie used to run during Hellfire, and it's a great stress relief for them all. It eventually gets to the point where most people recognise or know Eddie from his D&D stuff, forgetting that he was 'originally' famous for half a dozen kickass rock albums.

(Sometimes Steve makes an accidental appearance by wandering into shot, or bringing Eddie coffee or snacks, and he ends up with his own wholesome little fan club because he's so normal in comparison to his hubby).

[texanredrose]

Six Degrees (Megacrossover Fic)

... I wrote this four years ago and the fact that I did occurred to me again. So. I’m just going to say that the following includes characters from: Gundam Wing, Homestuck, Venture Brothers, Outlaw Star, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, American Dragon: Jake Long, Teen Titans, Beetlejuice, Hercules, Mass Effect, Kim Possible, Dragon Age: Origins and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few but fuck it, play a game and see if you can catch all the references and nods to other media because I literally can’t remember them all. And as much of a cluster fuck as that sounds, it’s really just a slice-of-life with Heero Yuy and Rose Lalonde being best friends, Kim being a tired police officer/momma with her adoptive son Beastboy, and Relena Darlian and Kanaya Maryam bonding over perhaps the most ludicrous batch of morgue employees in the history of ever. Here’s the crossover no one asked for and you’re welcome.

At ten minutes until closing time, Rose Lalonde was quite ready to be done with the day. Two of her employees called in, leaving her to run the book side of the store while Melfina ran the café, both of them flying solo through a relatively busy Thursday. It wasn’t anything either of them couldn’t handle- Rose had started Jasper’s café and bookstore while running the whole thing by herself, back when it was half the size and tucked away in a seldom tread part of the colony, and Melfina was a bartender before opting for the less hectic scene of a café- but it still irked her that both sides of the store ran shorthanded. She had half a mind to lecture her two youngest employees about commitment. However, in their defense, it wasn’t as though she didn’t see it coming; Twilight mentioned that her brother would be returning from the expedition sometime this week and Jake cited pressing family concerns which he had warned might be a possibility the week before. One could never be quite sure when the expeditions would return, given the nature of space travel past the jump point, and Rose was hardly one to argue about familial obligation. Both assured her they would be present for their next shifts, so it wasn’t as though they quit without warning and she would be doing this all week. In the end, she was just tired from a long week and looking forward to the following day. She typically worked Fridays and Saturdays, given most of her employees attended either the local high school or the university a few blocks over. She remembered well the way teenaged partying went from her own days spent at university on Earth, but once a month she took both days off and left the store with Melfina and the kids, hoping nothing burned down in her absence and drinking a glass or three of wine to ease away the stress. If anything, she was looking forward to the wine.

“Rose,” Melfina said, her voice soft as ever but still managing to slightly startle Rose. She must’ve zoned out while watching the clock. She turned her head to note that Melfina had already donned her blue shawl, the color complimenting her eyes nicely as she smiled. “I’ve already cleaned up the machines and restocked the line.”

“Thank you, Mel. You can head home.” Rose nodded, pushing off from the counter and heading for her coat and purse hanging by the door to the back room. “Give Gene my regards.”

Melfina nodded, heading out through the front door, keys in hand so she could lock it while Rose saw to arming the security system. Before it shut, however, she poked her head back in, a slightly apologetic smile on her lips. “Rose, you have a visitor. Do you want me to tell him-“

“No, it’s fine,” Rose replied, setting her coat back on the peg and turning towards the stairs up to the café. So much for heading home. “Let him in before you lock up.” Without a word, Melfina admitted one of Rose’s favorite- if not always punctual- customers before locking the door and heading towards her car. Rose was busy making the coffee upstairs but could hear her friend walk around downstairs, searching for a particular book, before following her up to the café. He took a seat at his favorite table, far enough from the window for the average passerby to miss while still able to admire the view of the colony as it gently sloped up. She noted it took him a little longer than usual, as though something was on his mind and he was having trouble deciding how to handle it. His choice of book invariably boiled down to three genres, depending on what was on his mind: military history- someone’s opinion challenged his enough he sought solace and stabilization in facts before attempting to evaluate the opinion properly- , law enforcement strategies- something or someone at work had challenged his authority, professionalism, or tactics-, and allegorical or satirical works criticizing political groups- some sort of red tape or administrative bullshit was preventing him from doing something he felt important. As she poured the cups, she could hear him open the book and begin turning pages, likely searching for where he left off last, and projected how the night would go based on previous encounters. The man could move silently if he so desired, and it often translated to a cup or two enjoyed in companionable silence at the end of a long work week. Given how much noise he was making, though, it meant he wanted to talk, and at length, which wasn’t that unusual. However, she could usually tell which section he’d visited before ascending the stairs, giving her some hint as to the topic for the night. Rose turned around, bringing both cups to the table where he sat and with a fond smile on her lips. He was intently staring at the page in front of him, skimming the information before moving on to the next page, searching for something. His eyes were a deep, dark blue that bordered on black when he was being especially thoughtful, and his tousled chestnut hair sometimes reminded her of childhood friend John Egbert back on Earth. Except, there was no mistaking their personalities; John was a gregarious, slightly immature bundle of positive energy while Heero Yuy was a very quiet, very reserved, and very private man. Setting his cup down in front of him- black, of course- Rose cradled her own, waiting for the creamer to finish blending before taking a cautious sip. After regarding Heero for a moment longer, Rose eyed the book he was so fixated upon and raised her eyebrows. “And here I thought we’d gotten past the point where you could surprise me.” Rose chuckled, a soft smile playing on her lips as she reached out to pull the book away. “I wouldn’t rely on that, if I were you.” “Then what’s it doing in your store?” He lifted his gaze to meet hers, frowning slightly as he reached for his coffee. Though he was certainly more anxious than usual, it didn’t show in his voice or movements, only in his choice of reading material. Rose shook her head, sliding the book to the side and closing it. “Because it’s not a bad reference for teenagers, and the amount of college students who come here demands I make certain concessions, but you’re a grown man, Heero. There’s no advice Dating for Dummies can offer you that’ll actually work.” “You and me both,” Heero replied, taking another pull of his coffee before leaning back in his chair. He passed a hand over his face and Rose noted the fading indention on his wrist from the band of a disposable glove. “You took another paramedic shift. Is there a reason you’re working overtime?” He shook his head, leaning forward slightly. “Not overtime; I volunteered today.” “You’ve been volunteering a lot.” Rose leaned forward, a smirk on her lips and one brow raised. “Is there a particular reason for that?” He regarded her a moment before grunting out an affirmative response. She was actually a little surprised he was being this straight forward about the issue. Usually, extracting answers from him was about as tedious and painful as trying to get her brother Dave to make sense during his ironic irony phase. If she hadn’t been so accustomed to patiently prodding her conversational partner for information or intrigued by the need to do so, she might’ve kicked Heero out of her store three years ago when he showed up at closing time, drenched from the colony’s rain system and impassively staring at everything around him. It was the first time she’d ever stayed late for someone who didn’t even buy a book but it started a strange tradition, and once she finally got him to open up a little, Rose had found a very intelligent, very self-aware person underneath that monotone voice and slight scowl. Their conversations ranged from the usual commentary on their work day or chosen professions to politics, religion, psychology, or whatever the hot topic of the week was in the universe. Much like herself, Heero never felt quite comfortable going to a bar- although for entirely different reasons- late at night to unwind, and both his work schedule and personality acted as barriers to anyone trying to become his friend. If Rose didn’t own Jasper’s, she probably wouldn’t know him as anything other than one of the police officers patrolling the colony. More than once, though the conversations were decidedly rare, they’d discussed their love lives, or lack of such as the case may be. Rose had made a few attempts, prior to moving to the colony, all of which ended within a few months but Heero had admitted after much poking and prodding that dating wasn’t something he’d ever really… done, per say. He didn’t see the point back when he had the time and, since he worked so often, it wasn’t very high on his priority list now. It was still there, though; Rose had drawn the conclusion long ago that, while he wasn’t quite one to go out and make friends, he appreciated the ones he had and wanted to have other, deeper relationships. He just had no clue how to go about it and it was easier for him to simply act like it didn’t bother him than do something about it. Which, of course, made the current edition of their late night talks absolutely delicious. Rose took another sip of her coffee to hide her amusement. “So, am I to try and guess her name or are you going to be so kind as to give me a hint first?” Heero shot her a glare to counter her mirth before sighing. “Name’s Relena Darlian. She’s a nurse at First Colonial.” “That’s a pretty name,” Rose commented, earning a slightly more heated glare from Heero, which she dismissed with a wave. “Oh please, Heero, I’m not trying to steal your girl. I wouldn’t dream of it.” “She’s not my girl.” Rose liked to think there was an unspoken ‘yet’ at the end of that statement. “And I seem to recall you telling me a story about trying to steal your brother’s girl once.” He pointed out, glancing back to the book before drinking more coffee. “Actually, that was a boy, and the whole incident was based on principle. He challenged me, I accepted; simple as that,” Rose replied, setting her half drained cup aside and lacing her fingers, resting her chin atop them. “Now, back to the matter at hand, I’m guessing you met through work, unless you were shot recently and forgot to mention it. Again.” Heero grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. “It was just a graze; Kim overreacted.” She returned his flat look with an unimpressed stare, which he would invariably take to mean that she neither bought that line nor did she appreciate him downplaying the incident. Rather than continue down that particular road, however, he shrugged. “I met her two weeks ago after that big crash over on Fifty-Fourth. Usually, we just brief whoever receives the patient about the name and vitals and turn over any miscellaneous information to the desk clerk. She had me tell her everything.” “Control freak or perfectionist?” He drummed the fingers of one hand against his arm before uncrossing them and leaning on the table. “Neither. She wasn’t curt or rude about it and she didn’t try to belittle me about my medical knowledge. I told her there was likely massive internal bleeding due to the nature of the collision- that he’d need surgery- and she ran with it.” “Maybe she heard about the last time someone tried to question your medical training,” Rose offered, earning a subtle shrug in response. “What impression did you get?” “That she was more concerned with making sure her patient was going to survive than proving she was the one who could save him.” Heero ran a hand through his hair, doing very little to the disheveled locks. “The nurses and doctors down at First Colonial always act like we’re in the way once we’ve passed the threshold, like they don’t need us to do anything aside from bring them the casualty.” “Yes, we’ve discussed your resentment of their superiority complexes several times.” Rose pointed out. “But what about this particular incident has you reading Dating for Dummies at eleven o’clock on a Thursday?” He frowned at her, brow furrowing. “I’ve met her more than once.” “Something I wasn’t aware of until just now, thank you, though I did suspect as much.” Heero sighed. “I think she only works the Emergency Room. She’s been there the last four shifts I’ve worked.” Rose cocked a brow. “New policy on vacation days; no more cash-ins, it’s use or lose after we hit seventy. I have ten to burn before the end of next month.” “Which translates to: you’re taking yours now because Kim needs them later.” “Her anniversary is next month. She wants to take hers then and we both know Chief will go ballistic if his two favorite lunatics are on vacation at the same time.” “I see.” Rose nodded, returning his slight smile with one of her own. Heero often made it sound like his relationship with Police Chief Anderson was one of mutual respect and agitation. Then again, Rose wasn’t sure she’d handle the duo so well if they were her employees; Kim and Heero seemed to share the mentality that nothing was too difficult for them to overcome, which often got them into situations no sane person would willingly walk into, much less charge into headfirst. It was a desirable trait for a first responder and an admirable trait to an extent. That extent ended when violent death was involved, crossing the threshold from ‘brave’ into ‘stupid’ more often than not, a fine line neither officer was willing to admit existed. “Although, given the timeline you’ve just laid out, and knowing you as I do, I suspect you haven’t had much time for sleeping.” “I sleep well enough.” Heero lifted his hand to rub at his eyes but caught himself. Not in time for Rose to not notice but she ignored it anyway. “What do your other interactions lend to your overall perception of this Relena Darlian?” “She’s driven, focused on the task in front of her, intelligent, well read...” He paused, as if weighing how to proceed, and was prompted by Rose’s slight nod. He ran a hand through his hair again, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “She’s very kind. When she talks to the patients, you can see her make this instant connection with them. She’s got a presence about her that just eases people. When she walks into the room, she commands it, but not through physical intimidation. Just force of personality. I admire that.” Rose nodded slightly, tapping a finger against her lips. “I think that’s the closest I’ll ever come to hearing the stoic Heero Yuy mooning over a girl.” Heero sat back and frowned. “You’re making fun of me.” “No, I’m reveling in the moment. There’s a difference.” Rose chuckled as he rolled his eyes. Rather than continue teasing him, she continued her questioning. “Have you actually spoken to her in a conversation that didn’t include the words ‘laceration’, ‘gunshot wound’, or ‘third degree burns’?” Heero shifted uncomfortably. “No. Not yet. That’s what I was investigating-“ Rose clicked her tongue with a shake of her head. “Investigating? Heero, you must learn a little flexibility in your vocabulary.” “Investigating is an accurate description of my actions,” he replied defensively. “It implies you’re looking at this as a case from the perspective of a police officer which, I should mention, might be too clinical for a pathologically kind nurse.” He favored her with a sour frown before looking at the tabletop. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know how to do this.” Rose reached across the table and patted his hand. “That’s what lesbian best friends are for.”

Looking thoroughly unsurprised, Heero picked up his cup only to realize it was empty and set it down again. “You finally decided to stick to women.” “In theory, if not in practice,” she replied, shrugging one shoulder while gesturing to him. “But of the two of us, you actually have a shot at something, so let’s focus on that. Do you know anything about this woman other than her professional work ethic? Anything that might hint at the two of you being compatible?” Very briefly, genuine confusion showed on his face. “I thought the purpose of dating was to discover that information.” “Technically, the purpose of a date is to discover compatibility; the continued version known as dating is typically founded upon already discovered compatibility.” His frown said quite clearly he was not amused with her word games. Rose had to smile at how serious he was acting. Given this was Heero Yuy she was talking to, she sincerely hoped Relena was a patient and forgiving sort. “Well, let’s start with the basics. The next time you see her- and there’s no bleeding people demanding her attention or yours- introduce yourself.” “She knows who I am.” Rose cocked a brow in disbelief. To his credit, his glance away was very brief. “She knows what I do.” “She knows you work full time as a police officer, you’re a member of the SWAT team, a qualified EMT, and a volunteer firefighter?” Rose waited, ready to list off other things she’d learned about him over the past three years that might warrant some acknowledgement. He crossed his arms again and pursed his lips but relented. “Okay, so I introduce myself. Then what?” “Ask her if she’d like some coffee or if she’s hungry. You know every little hole-in-the-wall and mom ‘n’ pop shop on L1, especially in this sector. Pick a place she’d never think to look for where the food is excellent and the environment is cozy.” Heero’s face said quite clearly that he thought she was insane for suggesting he paid attention to things like a cozy environment before he buried his face in his hands and sighed in defeat. “I hope she opts for coffee.” “I’m not going to hit on her for you because I am wingman to no one due to ineptitude,” Rose pointed out, standing up and refreshing his cup. “However, you are welcomed to bring her here if you want. Melfina is still the best barista on L1 and the familiar environment might ease your nerves.” “You make pretty good coffee too.” Heero offered, accepting the full cup before Rose reclaimed her seat. He smoothly ignored the comment about him being nervous and Rose was only a little disappointed he didn’t rise to the bait. “The tea you usually drink is alright.” “I would appreciate the compliment if black coffee was actually difficult to make. Also, you hate tea, so I’m not sure how valid your opinion is on that front.” Heero shrugged. “People who like tea drink it.” Rose sighed. “You should really stop trying to derail the conversation at some point. Setting my skills with liquids aside for the moment, have you accepted the possibility you’re going to end up finding something wrong with her? Or how difficult it will be to maintain a relationship when you’re both working long shifts and odd hours?” “No.” He drummed his fingers on the tabletop thoughtfully for a moment. “Should I?” “Not necessarily.” Rose chuckled. “While they are valid concerns, I bring them up because those are the excuses you usually give me when you won’t talk to someone. She must really be special unless...” She narrowed her eyes at him. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” He shifted slightly under her gaze, his face impassive. “Did you hear about the attempted robbery over on seventh?” “Of course. The incident was resolved peacefully.” Rose narrowed her eyes further, encouraging him to make his point. “I was on patrol that day. She talked the armed robber into turning himself in when we arrived.” He took a sip from his cup. “She was unarmed. I watched the security footage myself. She walked right up to him, convinced him to return the money, dismantle his weapon, and wait patiently until we arrived. It was… not how I would’ve handle the situation, but impressive.” Rose sat back in her chair, crossing her arms and smiling. “I believe the relevant term is ‘folie a duex’ and now I get it. She’s just as certifiably insane as you are, albeit on the other end of the spectrum.” Shrugging, Rose glanced out across the colony, admiring the lights that painted the veins of the colony. It wasn’t as breathtaking as a clear night sky, but it was beautiful in its own way. “She sounds like an interesting woman. You should at least try- and I mean really try, Heero- to ask her out. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?” “She could be as annoying as you,” he replied, drinking his coffee without so much as cracking a smile. Rose, on the other hand, grinned.

She would never claim to have nerves of steel but Relena Darlain did not scare easily. Stepping off the elevator into a darkened hallway in the basement of a hospital did raise her heart rate a bit and it did invoke a sense of foreboding in her that she couldn’t immediately dispel but she wasn’t scared. 

Just alert. Ready in the event something did happen.

As the elevator doors closed behind her, Relena set off down the hallway before her, noting the one to the left looked like it lead to a maintenance door and to the right had warning placards on the door at the end and another door that probably lead to the stairwell. At least the path before her seemed to actually go somewhere, though she wasn’t entirely sure where it might lead.

She could stare at the floor plans all day- and had, for at least one of her shifts- but Relena wasn’t the kind of person who learned by just reading the information. It tended to blend together, one sentence melting into the next, and while she could come away able to repeat the material almost verbatim, she never felt like she fully understood it. She preferred having experience to really cement the information in her mind and wandering the halls of her new workplace seemed the most logical course of action to familiarize herself with the place. 

Also, being unable to answer when stopped for directions was also a bit embarrassing; she’d rather not rely on someone else to come to her rescue in such matters. As she passed under a dim security light, she tried racking her brain for what was actually kept in the basement. Maintenance access, of course, a few specialists for non-human biologies, but she was sure there was some sort of clinic or department also housed in the basement. Not that she could clearly remember anyone saying so; maybe she read it on one of the signs scattered throughout the hospital. As she continued down the hallway, Relena reached up and released her golden brown hair from the rigid bun she’d put it in that morning and sighed in relief. She truly hated buns but it was a necessity to keep her field of vision clear, not to mention away from her patients’ wounds. With only her own echoing footsteps to accompany her, Relena continued down the hall, slowing occasionally to read the plates set beside the doors to identify the rooms. Three were storage rooms, one was a holding area for medical waste, and one was written in a language she couldn’t quite place. It was familiar- one of thousands she’d studied over the years- just not to the point of recognition. She really only ever learned how to speak small phrases, rarely focusing on how to write out the words. At the end of the hallway was another cross section, with halls leading to the left and right. However, before her was a set of heavy looking double doors with a somewhat dim light inside, the first she’d come across that showed a hint of activity, but lacked a plate to identify it. With only slight apprehension and a little bit of effort, Relena pushed one of the doors open and stepped inside. A cursory glance was all she needed; this was the morgue. Only two tables appeared to be, well, occupied, light blue sheets draped over the stone still humanoid shapes, and there was another set of doors off to the right. Various tools were laid out on the countertop against the far wall, all clean, and there were a few carts in the corner carrying more tools and boxes for gloves and masks.

Curiosity satisfied, Relena turned around to exit and was confronted with a tall, stern looking man, grey and white streaks coloring his hair and goatee. As her eyes widened in surprise, he seemed to grow taller, the red gem that clasped his black and gold cape around his shoulders glowing with its own light. “Who dares enter the realm of the deceased?” He bellowed, his smooth baritone combined with the dramatic billowing of his cape and the glowing of the gem paralyzing Relens with a primal sort of fear. “Do you seek accommodations?” He stepped closer, towering over her as she shrank back. “That can easily be arranged.” “Oh, Byron, stop scaring the poor girl.” A clipped feminine voice called out in a reproachful tone, though it was somewhat muffled. “She is a nurse, not an intern.” “Oh dear.” The man- apparently Byron- suddenly stepped back, stroking his goatee thoughtfully. “I do apologize, my dear, my mistake entirely.” Relena blinked and shook herself, the fear leaving her the moment he stepped back. He was still a full head taller than her but he wasn’t towering anymore, the gem seemed to glint dully, and his cape hung listlessly off his shoulders. Had she imagined all the rest? “I hope I didn’t make too terrible an impression.” “Uh…” Relena chanced a look over her shoulder to find the source of the feminine voice- which she didn’t, just one of the doors swinging slightly, and that just furthered her questioning of her own sanity- and stammered out a quick: “N-no, I shouldn’t have- I’m new to the ER staff and was just trying to familiarize myself with the hospital, I didn’t mean to intrude-” “Oh, that’s quite alright, really,” Byron chuckled, waving his hand dismissively. “We simply aren’t used to visitors down here. Not live ones, anyway.” “We have had issues in the past with surgical interns trying to sneak in here when we weren’t looking, hoping to use our cadavers as practice.” A woman about Byron’s height entered the room through the swinging doors, a purse in one hand and a white lab coat draped over her arm. Her voice was the same as the one from earlier, a clear space between each word as though they were being pronounced very carefully. The woman’s slate grey skin and candy colored horns clicked in Relena’s head the moment after taking note of them; she was a troll. “Given it is both disrespectful to the recently passed and quite dangerous on occasion, it is a policy to give them ample reason not to try such a thing again.” “We’re actually quite talented at it, if I do say so myself,” Byron said as he untied his cape, striding over to pluck his own lab coat off a peg next to the one the woman was resting hers on. The gem remained, though, matching the red sweater he wore. “The local high school contemplated extending us invitations to their annual celebration of All Hollow’s Eve but reconsidered when someone raised the question of paying for therapy.” “I’d have to vouch for your abilities myself, given my firsthand experience,” Relena tried to make light of the situation while recovering her senses; she felt she was only moderately successful at masking her slight distress. “Is it a requirement for morticians here to be able to terrify people?” The woman smiled, revealing what Relena previously took to be two small incisors resting on her bottom lip as two very long fangs while Byron chuckled. She had momentarily forgotten that trolls were strictly carnivorous. “It certainly does not hurt.” The troll extended her unoccupied hand. “I am Doctor Kanaya Maryam and this is my accomplice, Doctor Byron Orpheus.” “I’m Relena Darlian.” She shook both offered hands while telling herself there was nothing to be scared of; they were doctors, regardless of their appearances, and they wouldn’t be working at the hospital if they we intent on killing her. At least, that’s what she hoped. She hadn’t really paid much attention to First Colonial’s screening process. “I sincerely didn’t mean to come barging in here.” “Nonsense. The pursuit of knowledge of any kind is a worthwhile endeavor.” Byron glanced at the clock. “However, I would suggest leaving soon.” As she opened her mouth, curiosity written on her face, the troll laid a hand on her shoulder. “I will accompany you.” Kanaya offered before turning her attention back to her co-worker, motioning towards the tables. “These have already been checked, Byron, but there are fifteen in the secure room waiting to be inspected. I do not expect any trouble but one can never be sure. We also received a new request from the police about half an hour ago but I was not able to review it.” Byron sighed. “As long as it’s not another exhumation, I really don’t mind. Busy work helps ease my mind a little. I’ll get started on it tonight, if events permit.” “Thank you. Hades will be here in the morning to assist with transportation arrangements.”

Byron frowned, opened his mouth to say something and then closed it without saying a word. After a brief pause, he tried again. “Oh goodie.” Kanaya shook her head slightly as she steered Relena back towards the elevator. “Have a calm night, Byron.” He inclined his head before setting off to venture further into the morgue. “The same to both of you.” As they walked down the hall, Relena glanced over her shoulder. “Not that I would want to interfere with your work or anything, but why did we have to leave?” “Hospital policy.” Kanaya chuckled, looking at her through the corner of her eye. “I suppose you’ll hear a version of the story at some point, so you might as well hear it now, from the source.” With a heavy sigh, Kanaya reached out and punched the call button for the elevator, turning to regard Relena with a soft smile. “Five years ago, I was admitted to this hospital after a vehicle collision. I was pronounced dead on arrival and sent to the morgue. However, it is a peculiar facet of my caste that, sometimes, rather than submit to death, an individual will come back to the land of the living as a rainbow drinker. I am one such individual.” The elevator arrived and both women stepped inside. “Rainbow drinker… given that trolls come in varying blood colors, I take that to mean you are a troll version of a vampire?” “Yes, though we do not generally operate by the same rules as the various subsets of human vampires.” Kanaya winced. “Well, that is not exactly true. You are aware of the subset that sparkles in direct sunlight?” “Of course. They’re rarer on Earth in comparison to the colonies, given artificial light doesn’t expose them in such a way, but I’ve heard of them before.” Kanaya nodded. “Well, in that vein, rainbow drinkers glow. Quite brightly, in fact. Given Trolls are nocturnal by nature I suspect this to be a self-defense mechanism of sorts. It took nearly two years for me to learn how to voluntarily control it but it occasionally… well, if I get too flustered, it becomes a very obvious sign of anxiety.” She frowned. “Painfully obvious. Of all the changes I have endured, it is easily the most aggravating.” Relena smiled politely, stepping out of the elevator as it arrived at the ground level of the hospital. Kanaya was a step behind her, jade coloring her cheeks. “Oh, dear, I was rambling again,” Kanaya sighed. “Sorry; it is a habit I have yet to outgrow. At any rate, upon returning to life, I found myself confronted with another individual- the man who caused the collision, actually- who had returned as well. Unfortunately, he had reanimated as a mindless zombie and was trying to kill the orderly who was monitoring the morgue that night. I dispatched the zombie and was hired to work in the morgue shortly afterwards; being undead myself, I am far less likely to provoke an antagonistic response from the recently undead. After years of working both day and night shift, Byron and I have noticed that, if someone is going to return to the land of the living, this is about the time of night they do so. It ranges between just before midnight and a little after three in the morning.” She tilted her head to the side. “Though, to be perfectly frank, we have no idea why this particular time frame is most appealing.” Relena’s eyes grew wide as she glanced back at the elevator. “Is Dr. Orpheus going to be alright?” Kanaya nodded, flashing her a fanged grin. “Byron is also well versed in dealing with the reanimated. More so than I, truth be told; he’s a practiced necromancer of thirty years or so. Very few could rival the man’s knowledge of the undead and even fewer could handle the creatures the way he does.” Sighing in relief, Relena’s shoulders relaxed slightly. While she had no desire to fight the undead that evening, she wasn’t keen on leaving someone to do so alone. In hindsight, it was a tad bit silly to suggest senior members of the staff might not have the situation well in hand. If she noticed this, Kanaya said nothing, merely smiling politely before speaking again. “Are you parked in the north lot?” Relena laughed, brushing aside her embarrassment. “Actually, I don’t own a car. This is the first time I’ve ever been to a space colony, so I decided I wouldn’t risk getting distracted while behind the wheel.” She nodded towards the double doors leading to the emergency room. “As much as I enjoy helping those who come to the ER, I’d rather not be a patient myself. Besides, I could do with a little exercise.” “I see. I suppose I can see the wisdom in that.” Kanaya looked towards the main entrance to the hospital before returning her gaze to her companion. “Do you at least live close by?” “It’s only three blocks, just off Fourteenth Street.” Relena started towards the entrance, the troll easily matching her stride. Kanaya worried her lip with one fang. “That is quite a ways to walk at this time of night. Would you like a ride?” “I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way. It’s really not that far,” Relena protested, stepping out into the night and trying not to take a reflexive step back. When the colony shut off the main lights to signal the coming of night, all that was left were lights that lined the streets, perfectly spaced out, and it formed lines on the sloping sides of the colony, strange boxes on the horizon to replace the stars. It was strange, something she still hadn’t quite accepted since coming to the colony. She sighed; one thing she missed about Earth was watching the phases of the moon. “Nonsense,” Kanaya continued walking, completely unfazed by the spectacle. “It is no trouble to me at all. I will likely be awake for a few more hours as is; I might as well be somewhat productive and courteous with my time.” Relena chuckled, shaking her head slightly. “You’re the type of person who meddles in the affairs of others, aren’t you?” “When I see reason to… or if I am bored,” Kanaya conceded with a laugh, Relena joining in as they walked to the mostly empty parking lot. “Some habits do not break, I suppose. I have been something of a meddler since my youth.” Glancing toward the mostly empty street, Relena relented. “Well, seeing as I’m not up to breaking anyone’s old habits this evening, I suppose I’ll just have to accept.” “Excellent.” Kanaya smiled, pulling out her keys. 

Kim woke to someone gently shaking her shoulder, resisting the urge to ignore the shaking, curl up, and drift back to sleep. Opening her eyes, the redhead found her wife smiling down at her, hands on her hips as she shook her head. “Come on, couch potatoes, time for bed. Unless you’d rather continue not watching whatever is on the TV right now,” Shego said, laughing as Kim forced herself awake. Garfield had curl up against her at some point after she sat down, though she couldn’t remember if she was conscious for it or not. She barely remembered trudging through the door after work and her stomach was quick to remind her that yes, she had forgone heating up dinner in favor of collapsing on the living room couch. “Kimmie. Garfield.” “I’m up,” the redhead replied, sitting upright and shaking her son. “Come on, Gar. You heard the woman.” “I dun wanna,” the teen groggily replied. Kim ruffled his forest green hair to no avail and sighed. She was half tempted to side with him and just go back to sleep on the couch. “At least make it easier on me to carry you to bed, buddy.” Shego offered, rubbing his back. He cracked one of his eyes open, ear twitching as he concentrated, and then the teen morphed into a flying squirrel. A flying squirrel with green fur but Shego couldn’t complain; Garfield was by no means large for a fourteen-year-old, thin and lanky as he was, but she was in no mood to deal with the boy’s dead weight while ascending the stairs. “That’ll work.” “Good night, Gar, I love you,” Kim mumbled sleepily, scratching behind his head. He chittered something in response, most likely reciprocation, before falling silent again. Shego picked Garfield up in his squirrel form and nodded towards the kitchen. “There’s a container in the fridge. Grab something to eat and come to bed, Cupcake. We all have an early morning tomorrow.” Kim groaned, getting to her feet and stretching. She hadn’t even changed out of her uniform. Great. Kim tried responding to her wife while stifling a yawn, muddling her words only a little bit. “-oaorrow ‘y ‘ay ah.” The green skinned woman- a few shades lighter than Garfield’s own tone- rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I speak tired Kimmie. Yes, I’m aware you don’t have work tomorrow; we promised to go down and visit the garage, remember? Drew’s been talking my ear off about it.” Kim scrunched her nose slightly while working out her stiff neck. “Do we have to go? Drew’s a weird guy. The way he talks sometimes makes me think of mad scientists and world domination.” “Yes, because Ron is the picture of mental health,” Shego replied, placing a gentle kiss on Kim’s forehead before smirking at the redhead. “We have weird friends.” “Speaking of Ron, he was talking about visiting sometime next month.” Kim quickly continued, noting the narrowing of her spouse’s eyes. “I suggested towards the beginning of the month.” “Good.” Shego nodded, wrapping an arm around Kim as they left the living room. “I don’t want the buffoon spoiling the mood for our anniversary. Or the afterglow.” Kim raised a brow at the lecherous grin on Shego’s lips but Garfield’s animated chittering put a stop to the banter before it got started. “Hey, we gave you ample time to retreat to your room. Not my fault you decided to stick around and see your moms making goo-goo eyes at each other.” Shego half-heartedly lectured, releasing her wife and turning towards the stairs. “I’m going to put the squeak toy to bed. Go grab some food. And don’t fall asleep again.” “Yes, Warden,” Kim mockingly replied, turning towards the kitchen. She paused at the entrance to watch Shego ascend the stairs, long raven locks bouncing with each step and holding their son in her hands. A serene smile came to her lips as Shego reached the top and Kim proceeded into the kitchen. The decision to adopt a child was a debate between the couple for nearly two years. Shego thought they were ready; Kim heavily disagreed. She had just graduated the Colonial Police Academy, her work schedule was hectic, she wasn’t even sure if she was going to do well on the force, and her first three partners hadn’t bolstered her confidence any. Kim believed a child would need stability and she wasn’t sure if she could offer that. Then she was partnered with Officer Heero Yuy, a strong jawed man with a will of steel whom few could work with for any extended period of time. For some reason she would never understand, though, she and Heero had clicked instantly. Perhaps it was their determination or their commitment to the job or maybe they were just alike enough- and intuitive enough- to get past the things other officers saw while being different enough to function as a balanced duo. Heero respected Kim’s skills in hand-to-hand combat and physical agility; Kim respected Heero’s familiarity with any and every weapon imaginable as well as his tactical mindset. They thought and acted quickly, leaving their former partners in the dust, but together they were nearly unstoppable. Heero also had the benefit of seniority which brought some much needed constancy to Kim’s work schedule. Even though she was older than him by a year, he was a much calmer person, less apt to allow his emotions to control him, something he had to teach Kim about during their first few months working together. She started to enjoy her job and really feel like she was accomplishing something, like she was succeeding, and that’s when Shego brought the issue up again. Much to her surprise, Heero sided with Shego once she finally got around to telling him what had her zoning out while they were driving through the streets. He asserted, as Shego did, that love and compassion were more important to a child than what their parents did for a living and Kim had to concede that their knowledge did trump her own, given both of them were adopted and she wasn’t. Her parents were thrilled to learn they’d be grandparents soon; really, she was the only one who seemed terrified of the prospect. But then they met this wide eyed twelve-year-old with a goofy grin, pointed ears, skin and hair the color of grass, who could morph into any animal he saw, and Kim was hooked. He laughed the loudest of all the kids, his movements full of energy, but when the attendant called him away from the other kids, Kim could see the hope in his eyes clear as day. She could also clearly hear the whispered, hurtful words one of the children uttered that caused a slight stutter in his step. His smile never faltered though she saw the shine disappear from his eyes. Kim suddenly found herself wondering if this little boy was really happy or if his laughter and his smile were just for show and it nearly broke her heart. Garfield became a Possible that day. She and Shego became mothers. Everything just fell into place. “Kimmie?” Shego’s voice jerked Kim out of her revere. “Are you okay?” Kim looked down at the sink; apparently she auto-piloted her way through dinner and was just staring out of the kitchen window after depositing the container in the sink. “Yeah, sorry. It’s been a long day. Heero took one of his vacation days today and Kiyone’s out too, so-” “Oh dear Lord, you were paired with Mihoshi, weren’t you?” Shego sighed, shaking her head. “You poor thing.” “It wasn’t that bad,” Kim replied with a chuckle, walking over to her wife and kissing her lips. “It just… takes a lot out of me.” Rather than press the matter, Shego led the way to the master bedroom. “And here I was hoping for some fun tonight. Don’t even start,” she said, effectively silencing the objection on Kim’s tongue “you’re tired and you need some sleep, especially since we’re dealing with Drew and his cousin tomorrow. I don’t want to hear you complaining about how I kept you up all night, so let’s just get a good night’s rest.” “All right.” Kim pouted, trying to hide her gratefulness. Working with Mihoshi was… an exercise in abundant patience and a little luck. There weren’t any major calls today though so it could’ve been much worse. Still, sleep was calling, and it was all she could do to put away her dirty uniform properly and throw on shorts and an oversized shirt before she hit the sheets and was out like a light. Shego, on the other hand, took her time changing, turning off the lights and sliding in next to her wife with an impossibly wide smirk. She kissed Kim’s temple, barely disturbing the redhead’s slumber, and settled down for the night with a smile.

Relena watched through the window, slightly entranced by the colony night, the way the squares of light seemed to revolve around the car. While it was entertaining to say the least, it also firmly proved her theory about her driving skills and she was instantly grateful she took her brother’s advice to find an apartment close to the hospital regardless of price. Not like she was paying the bill at the moment anyway. Wishing to return her mind to the present, Relena looked over at Kanaya. “Who’s Hades?” “Beg pardon?” The troll arched a brow in her direction, obviously taken off guard by the abruptness of the question. Relena had to laugh at her own impatience. “Sorry. What I meant was: you mentioned Hades would be by in the morning.” “Oh! Right.” Kanaya sighed, a little smirk on her black lips. “I’m sure you noted Byron’s enthusiasm. Hades… is not the easiest person to get along with but he is, essentially, our boss.” “Wait, do you mean the Hades? As in, Lord of the Dead Hades?” Relena’s brows rose in shock at Kanaya’s nod. “Of course; who else would be in charge of the morgues and mortuaries?” Kanaya chuckled as the car came to a rest at a stop light. At night, the colony lights operated on timers, and they tended to run long. “He comes around a few times a month to round up any wayward souls. He visits everyone, of course, but he pays our little slice of morbid real estate special attention. It was on his recommendation that I was hired at First Colonial. He arrived just after I dealt with the zombie and decided I could keep my soul, provided-” “Provided you were a good little girl and ate all your dinner.” A male voice suddenly finished right behind Relena and she whipped around in her seat to stare at the man suddenly in the backseat of the vehicle. “My ears were ringing and I decided to- Hey, dollface, haven’t seen you around before, which is good news for you if you know what I mean-” “Hades, what are you doing?” Kanaya sighed, watching the apparition in her rearview mirror with a fond, fanged grin. “What, I can’t pop in on a dear friend?” He leaned forward, the blue fire atop his head shifting with the movement but appearing completely harmless to the vehicle itself. “I’m hurt, Kan, absolutely distraught. You’d think you’d show a little more gratitude towards the doorman who barred your entry to a rather eternally dull existence in the underworld. But, hey, what do I know?” “Hades,” Kanaya warned, so intent on her impromptu passenger, she initially missed the changing of the light. When she returned her eyes to the road, she passed through the intersection and pulled over, putting the vehicle in park so she could attend to Hades without getting distracted. Sitting back heavily, the lord of the underworld sighed. “Did you really have to schedule that schmuck for tomorrow?” Kanaya rubbed her temple with one hand, the other one the wheel. Though she probably should’ve stayed silent, curiosity got the better of Relena. “Do you and Dr. Orpheus not get along, Mr. Hades?” “Whoa, drop the mister babe; I’m a god, not a door-to-door salesman,” he turned his glowing blue eyes on her. “And who are you, exactly?” “Relena,” she replied, accepting his offered hand. “Relena Darlian. I’m a nurse at First Colonial.” “Well isn’t that nice.” He gave her a grin before releasing her hand. “Look Relena, babe, think about it. Do you really think the lord of the dead would have a good working relationship with a necromancer? I mean, come on, this ain’t a hard gig- bozo gets knocked off, soul comes to Tartarus, my head count goes up by one, someone get the abacus- but when you got guys trying to bring those souls back to the realm of the living, then they get axed again- you see where I’m going with this? It’s a bit of a pain in my neck trying to keep track of who’s just regular old dead and who’s dead dead.” Hades sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I have enough to worry about sifting through my newcomers and making sure jerk hero so-and-so gets into Valhalla alright and jerk sinner so-and-so gets sent to the correct circle of Hell, not to mention the reincarnation chuckleheads or those who think they can reincarnate if they ask nicely enough. And yeah, I got some help, but St. Peter can be a real pain when he’s vetting the souls going to Heaven, the guy’s anal retentive to the max. You think I got time to track down souls who should already be chilling in the promise land all because some schmuck can’t accept that death is a thing that happens and move on?” Relena smiled innocently. “Well, you do have time to pop in on dear friends.” Kanaya and Relena laughed while Hades rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s a critic.” “But seriously, Hades.” Kanaya composed herself, smiling at him over her shoulder. “You know full well I have weekends off now that we have BJ and Mordin to cover. So why are you really here?”

Hades ran a hand through his flaming hair and down his neck, sighing heavily. “You asked me a question a few months back, Kan. I came to give you the answer.” “Ah,” Kanaya replied, looking forward with unfocused eyes. “I take your reluctance to mean the answer is not to my liking.” In the pause that followed, Relena put her hand on her seatbelt release. “Perhaps I should-“ “No, it’s fine,” Kanaya said, smiling sadly as she continued looking down the road. “I merely asked Hades how long rainbow drinkers… live, for lack of a better term.” Closing her eyes a moment, she sighed slightly before turning her gaze to the mirror. “What did you find?” “Every single rainbow drinker to become a permanent resident in the afterlife,” Hades replied. “And each of them pretty much said the same thing. They- you won’t expire like a loaf of bread, Kanaya. The whole immortal schtick is the real deal and it takes some pretty extraordinary measures to break it.” “Yet they walk the realm of the dead.” Kanaya sighed, reflecting quietly a moment before shrugging. “Thank you, Hades. It does little to comfort me but I appreciate your assistance nonetheless.” “Don’t mention it.” The backseat of the vehicle started filling with blue smoke. It was odorless and tasteless, as though it was only an illusion of smoke, and Relena had to resist the urge to reach out and wave her hand through it to see if it reacted. “Send my love to Mordin and Beetlejuice, would ya?” As Hades was swallowed by the smoke, Relena looked at Kanaya. “Beetlejuice?” “Do not say his name again,” Kanaya instantly replied, checking the backseat to ensure Hades had left. Relieved, Kanaya shifted the vehicle into drive and started down the road once more. “BJ, as we call him, is a poltergeist who can be summoned to any place at any time if his name is uttered three times. It ensures he is never late to work but can be a little problematic from time to time, seeing as… well, he is something of an asshole and his abilities greatly exacerbate his condition.”

Relena chuckled, raising a brow at her companion. “And Mordin?”

“Is a salarian scientist and doctor with an impressive knowledge of various species’ biological compositions as well as combat maneuvers and tactics.” Kanaya shrugged. “He says he was part of the salarian military and word around the hospital is he operated with STG, though I am not entirely sure what that means. Some sort of special unit, from what I understand.”

“So the morgue is staffed by a rainbow drinker, a necromancer, a poltergeist, and a Special Forces doctor, and is often visited by the Lord of the Dead himself, and you have to actually try scaring people off?” Relena shook her head. “Those interns must’ve been insane.” Kanaya nodded. “It seems what brilliance they have in the field of surgical medicine, they lack in common sense.” With one last turn, the duo finally reached Relena’s apartment complex. “I do apologize for the delay; Hades tends to drop by unexpectedly and I’ve found not giving him my full attention makes him a bit moody.” “It’s fine,” Relena said as she gathered up her bag. “It was great meeting you and the others; the nurses in the emergency room don’t really socialize much, for some reason.” “A lot has happened in the past few months that you probably have not heard about yet; a lot of people are trying to keep to themselves a bit more than they used to but they will warm up eventually. Just swing by the morgue sometime and I will fill you in,” Kanaya said, pausing a moment before continuing. “I apologize for subjecting you to the conversation between Hades and I. It is something I have wondered since I read my first book regaling the supposedly fictional tales of rainbow drinkers and I am still sorting fact from fiction.” “Don’t worry about it,” Relena smiled, opening the door and stepping out. There was a question at the tip of her tongue but she refrained for the time being. Perhaps once she knew Kanaya better. “Thank you again for the ride!” Kanaya inclined her head and Relena closed the door, turning towards the complex while ignoring the weariness suddenly overcoming her. The last hour or so had really taken a lot out of her and it was a long day even before all that. She almost groaned in defeat when she realized she had work the following day but she couldn't, in good conscious, complain. She’d wanted this, begged her brother for it, and now she was living the dream, so to speak. As her key slid into the lock of her apartment, Relena took one last look out at the colony draped in night. The sight was slowly starting to grow on her.

Rose armed the security system and quickly exited through the shop’s back door, closing it firmly behind her before attending to the dead bolt. Heero was standing just a few feet away, scanning the immediate area and waiting for her to finish locking up. After the third pot of coffee, Rose had decided he needed sleep more than he was willing to admit and set him to work washing the cups and machine while she put the book back and left some instructions she’d forgotten about for Twilight and Melfina in the morning. Turning back to her friend, Rose favored him with a smirk. “You realize I’m completely capable of walking to my car unescorted, yes?” Heero nodded. “It’s occurred to me once or twice.” “I suppose I should be flattered you at least considered it,” Rose laughed, heading towards the parking lot just around the corner. “Do you have work tomorrow? Of any sort?” “No, I’m off,” he replied. Silence began to settle between them, accompanied only by the muted noises of the slumbering colony and their own quiet footsteps, when he decided to break it. “Would you like to see a movie tomorrow?” Rose raised her brows in surprise but smiled. “Of course. Do you have one in mind?” Heero nodded. “Warden’s Oath. It’s based on the Grey Wardens’ crusade to end the Ferelden Blight.” She pursed her lips in thought, tapping a finger to her chin. “Wasn’t there a witch who aided the Grey Wardens in that blight? Morrigan, daughter of Flemeth?” “You’ve heard of her?” Between the two of them, he was the clear history buff, and she smiled as she mentally evened their score for surprising the other. “I read her grimoire when I was younger; her mother was one of the strongest witches in the universe during her time. Morrigan was her natural successor and the work she put into expanding her mother’s power was admirable.” Heero was one of the very, very few people who were aware of both her affinity for the dark and magical as well as her ability to use certain forms of magic. Mostly destructive forms, though she constantly assured him that she would never endanger the colony for the sake of practice. “According to the grimoire, they’re still lurking somewhere in the universe, Morrigan and her mother, constantly chasing and fighting each other for supremacy. Maybe even the entire party she travelled with during the Blight; she reflected on her journey with the Grey Wardens very thoroughly and I think she took a liking to them towards the end, even Alistar. I’m curious to see how they portray her.” Heero grunted. “I want to see how well they portray the battles. The loss of the King’s forces at Ostagar was a clear rout but many accounts of the events that follow don’t seem to agree on the later battles.” Noticing Rose’s look, he added somewhat begrudgingly. “I’ll pay attention to the characters too.” “Right. You still can’t tell me the name of any character from Final Destination.” “That’s because they were idiots with poor situational awareness.” Rose shook her head in amusement as they reached the lot, her keys already in hand. “Your empathy knows no bounds.” “And you’re a ball of sunshine,” he replied, heading towards his own vehicle, a black sedan with tinted windows and a ridiculous brush guard. She slipped behind the wheel of her coupe, depositing her purse in the passenger seat. “Call me when you’re ready. But not before noon, please.” “Don’t drink yourself into a coma,” he called over his shoulder. He slid into the driver’s seat of his sedan while Rose started her vehicle. He waited for her to pull out of the lot before following suit and she watched as his taillights became tiny red dots in her rearview. She could hardly call her life on the colony exciting or adventurous, but she did enjoy the occasional bump in the road and, knowing Heero as she did, this development promised to bring with it all manners of oddities. Watching it all unfold would be entertaining, to say the least. She just hoped her friend would survive the entire process with his sanity intact.

[excusetheconfusion]

The homeless days.

After rekindling an old friendship from a 7 year hiatus, I've been inspired/influenced to write an experience story. Usually my blogs are just stoner ramblings about my feelings and thoughts but today it'll be more of a recap kind of deal. If you've kept up with my blogs, you know about the 'bad' ex, you know about my dad dying, you know how I sold the house that I hated...this picks up right after I sold the house. After living in the small town of Houston, Missouri from 2010 to 2013, I sold my first house. Really, sold my dead dad's house. Before that, I had lived with my dad on the Gulf Coast. We went through Katrina, lost everything over and over again. So material things hadn't meant much since 2005. We had our mobile home, then another, then a FEMA camper, then a FEMA cottage, then another camper. We didn't really move, all these homes were on the same piece of property, but hurricanes kept taking them. One day, after my dad had gotten his back pay from SSI and some other government things that he had been owed, he typed in cheap properties, and Houston, Missouri popped up. We moved summer of 2010. It was my first time having a real house, I thought it was going to be great. I hated leaving my friends, and I didn't care for the town too much, but it was a real solid house. Not even a year later, my dad was killed. I ended up pulling the plug while my dad was in a coma, basically brain dead. Bar fight gone wrong. I finished the job that a 23 year old, Caleb Buckner couldn't.(feel free to search Midtown, Licking Missouri Barfight, October 8th 2011, Victim Rickie Murray) After that, the boyfriend at the time, who was 20 seemed pretty mature considering I was 16. So here I am 16, no family, a house, 2 vehicles, in a town where the only people I knew were my dad's bar friends, and my boyfriend's family. I was a good kid. Good grades, good intentions, polite, soft spoken, the worst thing I did at the time was smoke a little pot. Which what 16 year old hadn't done that? Well, my family in Louisiana tried to get me to come home but, I knew better apparently. My family let me make my own choices, which looking back on now was stupid. I was 16, they should have made me come home and have a normal life. But they didn't and that's when I began my journey alone. My boyfriends grandparents adopted me. They gave me a room in their home, and treated me like their own. They went to my drama club plays, they helped me with cash when I needed it. They loved me just like I loved them. I called them grandma and grandpa and things were fine aside from the fact that their grandson was incredibly abusive. But where else could I go? We ended up moving into my dad's house 6 months later. So, I'm 17, a senior in high school with a 21 year old living with me. It got worse once we were really alone. It was about a 2 year long process of getting dad's house back from the government. I had a plan to leave Shad, but I had to bide my time. The day I found out the house was out of probate and was able to be sold, I packed up all his stuff and had it sitting on the front concrete porch. The day he moved out was also the day that The guy who ended up being my kids dad and I would sleep together. It was a hasty thing that happened at a very vunerable time. But we ended up in love and dating soon after. He was a hippie soul, and introduced me to many of the things I cherish and while heartedly believe now. I had wanted to be homeless since I met this guy called Homeless Dave at a party in Mountain Grove, Missouri. I envied him. I always wanted to just sneak away from my ex in the middle of the night and just walk and keep walking. I figured I'd do it one day, but I didn't know how soon it would actually be. My new boyfriend and his friend's family had a plan to go to Colorado. So I said fuck it, and that I'd go too. I didn't know these people from Adam. They move in with me, and I instantly regreted it. I didn't have a kid at the time, and I never thought I would have one because I didn't like fucking kids. Well, this whole thing was turning into a shit show. Long story short, their plan was for me to financially support everyone with the new money from selling the house. Which wasn't going to happen. So, I have to be the worst person in the world and say no to a family, because all it would do is bring me down. It was hard. I still feel guilty, but the gift of being in the present (future) is that they are still in the same boat. Divorced. Had more kids, in jail, on drugs, etc. No matter what I would have done back then, it wouldn't have changed their future. So I go to Colorado, alone...minus my dog and cat. I gave away everything I owned. I took clothes, pictures, and an open mind. And kitty litter and dog food. I make the trip totally alone, 19 years old, first time free, and totally in love. So, the plan was to go to Boulder and be homeless. But I had a home, I had family, I had people who cared about me. So I wasn't homeless, I was houseless. And I wanted to be. At this time, the big flood in Boulder had just happened, so there were not only regular homeless, but there were displaced victims of a natural disaster there too. And I say homeless because it is the PC thing to say. Hobo is insulting apparently. And I mean that with all the sarcasm. I stayed at the park in Boulder, right by the library. The mix of people were rich Boulder college kids, retirees, teens who left home just because, 20 something year old stoners, drugies, or 40 something year olds who were kicked out of the crazy homes back in the day. Some people lived in tents, motel rooms, cars, storage units. Even if some of them had money, they still lived like that. I met a ton of real people. I mean, as far as they knew, I didn't have anymore or less than they did. I didn't tell a whole lot of people that I just sold a home. I didn't want to get robbed or anything. Turns out, it ended up happening. The deadbeat husband with the family that I bailed on, well he stayed in Colorado being a bum while his family was in Missouri. I let him sleep in my car from time to time. In my car, had my dad's jewelry. Gold necklace, a few gold rings... He stole them and hocked them. He stole my cell phone, and a set of tires and rims that I left in Missouri. All for nothing too, if he had stolen my things and bettered his life with it, then I don't care. Rob me fucking blind,if you are going to fix your life. That's a sacrifice I'll take. But he didn't, and he took the last of my dad's things that I had. So there I was in Colorado and the only soul I knew was the guy who I had just started dating a couple weeks ago. He got a job with relief clean up from the flood. So I was just chilling. I had my pug, Rosie on a leash and my cat, Jan in a kitty fabric carrier. I had my back pack with water, snacks, and my recreational tools with me. I would just walk around and take naps in the grass. I'd sit by a creek. Go walk down town. I was just free. It was pretty safe for the most part. I have to say, the worst thing that happened was on one of my first days there. I saw some nerds playing MTG at a table, which was a card game I was familiar with. I join them and before I could even say anything a guy sits by me. He uses my body as a wind shield, leans down and pulls out foil and a straw. I'm in disbelief. Then he exhaled and said, 'It's just meth'. Then he walked away. Shortly after, I left the nerd table to hang out with some other homeless. Another funny story. So, I have my dog Rosie, who was an unbelievably disgusting animal. Nasty mucus filled eyes, a long dry shark skin tongue, that usually had poop stuck to it, because she literally ate shit. So with that horrifing backstory, I would walk around with Rosie and people would ask to take pictures with her. I let about 10 people take them for free. I decided to start charging. I was homeless, so I may as well hustle. This huge black guy with a briefcase come up to me, asks to take a picture of her, and I was like 'what cool thing do you have to trade'? This mother fucker opens up his brief case, that is full of buds of weed, and he throws a handful on the ground. Well that was enough of a payment for me. Never saw him again. Once it got to be October, it was getting pretty cold in Colorado. So we got an apartment in Westminster. Which ended up being the hood. And ya know, we still kept our homeless friends. We would go visit them in the park, or they would come and stay the night. We kept in contact the whole time in Colorado. Those people were 100. And those are the people who most see I'm the sides of the road and look down on them. Honestly most of those people had more money in their pockets then most 40 hour a week workers. I'd say the experience in a whole was humbling. Not just for me but for perspective on other people. I've showered in a homeless shelter. I've ate food from a soup kitchen. I had strangers give me socks and hot dogs, they took time out of their day to give me some comfort. It was a toughening thing too, knowing that I don't need anything or anyone and I'm good. I have it handled. I denied help when I felt like it. Because I knew I had the means if I wanted. I was pretty ghetto at times. I mean, I took sink showers in grocery store bathrooms for shits sake. I highly recommend doing something crazy like this at least one time. The only thing stopping you is you. It is as easy as waking up and giving everything away. Just walking away from everything you know. Right when it is scariest, that's when you jump. Who knows, you may jump into a shit storm, and walk away with less than what you came in with. You may ruin your relationship and be miserable. You may meet the love of your life. You may get pregnant and have the most beautiful baby. Your life may take a complete 180. But wouldn't you rather know what happens? I don't know how anyone could just wonder about these things...jump. It's the best choice I've ever made.