#Azirphale's turn to be jealous 😈

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #5]

[FYI: Aziraphale can be jealous too, he's just more subtle about it. Well, "subtle"... ]

Aziraphale: *gets out of the Bookshop to take his morning coffee even though he does not sleep*

[Noises of an old, noisy heavy-duty motorcycle happening]

Aziraphale: *looks at the Sky and starts praying**to himself* Please, do not be him...

Frankster: *stops his motorcycle abruptly next to Aziraphale* Az Fell! Oy! How are you doing, my mate?

[How to even describe Frankster who does not exist in the GO universe at all? Well, people have called him that since he was a teenager because he loves pranks and his name is Frank (I KNOW, what a shock?!), he's fifty-something, he's always riding his dear motorcycle he calls Bow (as an hommage to David Bowie, of course), pretty handsome, very tall, gay AF black man who always wears the brightest indigo blue leather jacket you've ever seen. Can make any guy his bro until... some drinks happen. To summarize.]

Aziraphale: *closes his eyes in disappointed**discreetly sighs before turning to him* Ummm, hi, Frank! I'm doing pretty well, thank you, how... how about you?

Frankster: *swiftly gets out of Bow**grunts for show* Heartbroken, but, y'know... life happens. So. Now is the time to shoot my shot... Have you seen dear old Anthony, recently?

Aziraphale: *turning red**reminds himself that Crowley is inside the Bookshop as they speak* Huh... I am... not... sure...?

Frankster: Come on! You, of all people, surely have an idea where I can find him!

Aziraphale: I-I...

Frankster: Don't be like that, mate! I have a bottle of the Talisker Expedition Oak. The 43-year-old one. We've sworn to each other we would drink it together if one of us ever laid a hand on this beauty! Time for me to invite him over and claim my prize.

Aziraphale: Your... prize...?

Frankster: *open laughter* Az, come on, those delicate ears of yours are not suited to hear whatever unholy thoughts I have kept in my mind for the past six years, so don't make me!

Aziraphale: Y-you... you mean that- I mean that- *gathers his thoughts* Is Crowley... aware of your... *clears his throat* intentions?

Frankster: *reassuring* Mahhh, He has to be! You know me, I'm not the subtle type, Angel! *aims for Aziraphale's hair to scrub them*

Aziraphale: *dodges skillfully in the-man-has-tried-to-do-that-for-years-and-occasionally-succeeded*[well, "skillfully", hum... he actually tripped in the process, but...] *also holds himself from sighing as he hates whenever Frank calls him that* D-Don't! *rearranges his clothes* do that, Frank, please! *unconsciously taps his feet onto the ground like a 5yo*

Frankster: *laughs* Too bad I'm more into the thin dark duke ones instead of the fluffy beige librarians, right, Az?

Aziraphale: *barely understands even though he knows every language there is, as or ever been**confused noise and eye contact*

Frankster: *super amused by his mannerisms, as always**leans in*

Aziraphale: *recoils a bit*

Frankster: *takes him by the arm to draw him closer*

Aziraphale: *uncomfortable AF**cannot yell for help because he knows that Crowley will appear out of nowhere in 0.1 millisecond**gasps instead* F-Frank!

Frankster: *whispers while releasing him* Az, you're not on my menu tonight... Anthony is. Are you sure you have no idea where I can find our favorite Gothic king?

Aziraphale: *cannot possibly restore the truth now**has started to worry Crowley might get outside because he is taking too long to come back compared to the last few days**embarassed laugh* I... have NO idea where Crowley is right now. *not-so-angelic-but-angelic-enough-for-most-humans face*

Frankster: *sighs* Bugger. Is he planning on visiting you any time soon? He talks about you a lot, you know? For a while, I really, really thought you were a twosome, haha! *taps Aziraphale's shoulder a bit too strongly*

Aziraphale: *unsteady**also startled**and blushy* Ahhh... you... you did?

Frankster: Yep, you two could have fooled the gayest man on Earth... Oh wait, that's me! *loudest laughter*

Aziraphale: *so stressed Crowley might have recognized that laugh**considers to present Gabriel to Frank for a second**wonders why would he ever do something like that?**confused ethereal entity**odd-yet-always-cute angelic smile*

Frankster: Az, can we be honest for a second?

Aziraphale: *raises an eyebrow**offended* Of course, we can! *has not been honest for the past five minutes or so but it is not as if someone was keeping scores up there, don't they?*

Frankster: You would save me a lot of trouble if you just told me you have a crush on him... *shows his super-expensive white teeth* Me, of all people would get it! Anthony might be the sexiest man alive besides us two, so that would only be fair.

Aziraphale: *taken by surprise**hiccups* Oh, oh... Um... Ahhh... *randomly balances his arms* I-I mean... Of... Of course not! *smiles in absolutely-not-suspicious*

Frankster: *tilts his head**smirks* Come onnnnn, Az, you can tell me! *leans closer**hands on both Aziraphale's shoulders* This will stay between us, I promise!

Aziraphale: *removes himself from the situation by running away a little* N-no! It is not like that! W-we are not like that, I swear!

Frankster: *stares in super doubtful**keeps the brightest smile* Az, my mate, you really should clear out those feelings of yours... *tilts his head again and adds some winking to it* before I get the man first, you know? Friendly competition, Angel, what do you say?

Aziraphale: *frowns for a second**does not realize*

Frankster: *eyes widen**playful* Wow, maybe you do not plan on playing it fair after all! Ahhhh... Always look out for the innocent ones, right? They are the real Dark Horses!

Aziraphale: I-I... I really don't- I really don't know what you mean, Frank! Really!

Frankster: Really? Really really? *laughs hysterically* Ahhhh, ANGEL, you are ADORABLE! So adorable that I don't have the heart to break yours! Wait a second... *opens Bow's rainbow truck**takes the bottle**considers to throw it at Aziraphale**remembers how clumsy he can be**crushes Aziraphale's bust with it instead*

Aziraphale: *out of breath*

Frankster: Let me have the honor of being the most generous Cupid this planet has ever encountered.

Aziraphale: Oh, n-n-n-no, I-I... I can't possibly accept th-

Frankster: Please. This is not for free, Angel! I do have a condition...

Aziraphale: *scared again* What... is it?

Frankster: *winks* I want the third sexiest man alive to spend the night with me, of course.

Aziraphale: *does. not. compute*

Frankster: *leans closer, actually close to Aziraphale's neck and ear**whispers more seductively* That means you, silly.

Aziraphale: *startles so much he actually jumps* AhhhAHH I...

Frankster: *laughs hysterically. Again.**wants to tap Aziraphale's back but reminds himself about the bottle right before the impact**gives him a softer, more serious smile* Easy, Az, I was messing with you! My only condition is to be invited to your wedding. No, actually, I want to officiate it. I still have my license I got online in the early 2000s, remember? I'd be happy to tell a large audience how I made you happen! In the meantime... *sits back on Bow* Take care of that dirty punk for me - and of the bottle. *starts the engine* SEE YOU AROUND, MISTER FELL, SAY HELLO TO ANTHONY FOR MEEEE!

Aziraphale: *waves from afar**still unsure what just happened**wants to scratch his neck**almost makes the bottle fall to the ground in the process**heart stops**hugs the bottle to make sure it does not happen twice*

[The Bookshop door opens abruptly]

Crowley: *looks at Aziraphale incredulously* Is it me or did I just hear Frankster's laughter? *looks at what Aziraphale has in his arms**eyes widens behind his glasses**runs in Christmassy* OH MY G- Screw it. OH MY GOD, IS THAT-

Aziraphale: *shyly* I-I think it is?

Crowley: *takes the bottle from Aziraphale without almost any care* [I say "almost" because this is still Aziraphale we're talking about, any other being would have been murdered in the process] THAT DIRTY BITCH! HE FOUND ONE! *looks around them, more and more confused* Wait. Has he left already?

Aziraphale: *hides his guilt behind his cute face* Ahhh, y-yes! *attempts to smile normally* He hummmm... He was in a rush and just came by to drop this, I have no idea why! *Quirinus Quirrell's laugh* [Admit it, you're getting used to it! This is my trademark, now, I guess 😂]

Crowley: *suspicious gaze**eventually shrugs his shoulders**looks at Aziraphale with pure joy* I know this is not your thing but you NEED to taste that beauty when I'll pop that cork of hers, Angel.

Aziraphale: Of... Of course! *smiles with a little more ease*

Crowley: *brightest smile**kinda giggles?**rushes back to the Bookshop in case the elements might attack the super rare Talisker bottle*

***

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